Why Roger Goodell's Meeting With Ray Rice And His Wife Was A Bad Idea

On June 16, Ray Rice and his wife, Janay, the woman he knocked out in an Atlantic City resort elevator, met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in his office. Four other men were present, according to Sports Illustrated's Peter King: Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome, team president Dick Cass, and NFL mucky-mucks Jeff Pash and… » 7/28/14 5:53pm Monday 5:53pm

Face It, Women: The NFL Does Not Give a Shit About You

This week, the NFL issued a pitiful 2-game suspension against Ray Rice, the Ravens running back who earlier this year punched out his then-fiancee Janay Palmer and was seen on surveillance tape dragging her unconscious body out of a hotel elevator. Many critics responded by saying the NFL was sending a terrible… » 7/26/14 12:00pm Saturday 12:00pm

NFL: Beating a Woman Unconscious Is 1/8th as Bad as Pot Smoking

Earlier this year, Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punched his fiancee so hard she passed out and then dragged her unconscious body out of an elevator. The whole thing was caught on camera and resulted in Rice being charged with aggravated assault. His punishment from the NFL? Two game suspension. » 7/24/14 3:00pm 7/24/14 3:00pm

The Raiderettes Will Finally Be Paid Minimum Wage

In January, some members of the Raiderettes sued the Oakland Raiders, alleging that they were paid less than $5 an hour, denied overtime, expected to practice several times a week for free and subjected to bizarre fines by the team. They also had to abide by this ridiculous fucking etiquette guide, which instructs one… » 7/02/14 6:45pm 7/02/14 6:45pm

Heineken Sponsors Shoe Sale So Ladies Leave Men Alone to Watch Soccer

The Champions League final between Real Madrid and Atlético de Madrid is this Saturday, and, if you're familiar with tired tropes about how women are all basically mean mommies who want to ruin men's fun, that can only mean one thing: ladies are going to bug their boyfriends and husbands about watching The Big Game.… » 5/23/14 6:00pm 5/23/14 6:00pm

Calling Darren Sharper 'Too Sexy' to Rape Is Goddamn Ridiculous

Earlier this week, Tempe, Arizona police released documents that detail even more rape allegations against former NFL star Darren Sharper, who today will appear in court to face rape charges stemming from separate incidents in Los Angeles. In total, Sharper's alleged to have drugged 11 people and raped 7 women across… » 2/20/14 1:45pm 2/20/14 1:45pm

Tennessee's 'Secret Rape' Law Is Just as Stupid as it Sounds

Police in Tennessee have proposed a law that could make all details of rape cases — even the fact that a rape was committed in the first place — secret until the trial of the accused. Great news for police stations who can avoid being egged in the face by critical press; bad news for women who, you know, might want to… » 2/17/14 3:15pm 2/17/14 3:15pm

No, Erin Andrews Wasn't Terrified by Scary Black Man Richard Sherman

Following the victory by the Seattle Seahawks against the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship two weeks ago, Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman drew criticism for delivering an incredible post-game rant to Fox's sideline reporter Erin Andrews. While it seems strange to chastise a football player for being… » 2/03/14 4:15pm 2/03/14 4:15pm

Brooklyn Decker’s ‘Girly Guide to the Super Bowl’ Is a Headache

To be absolutely honest, the mouth-sounds "Brooklyn Decker" seem like they should be the name of a Brooklyn-inspired sandwich with, like, four pounds of corned beef and eight slices of rye. They are instead the name of actress and former model Brooklyn Decker, a human woman with very shiny hair and an impressive… » 2/02/14 4:15pm 2/02/14 4:15pm

Cosmo Generously Teaches Ladies How to Look Hot for the Super Bowl

Listen up, girls. We've got a big day coming up in February. It's the Super Bowl, and it's our one and only chance all year to 1) put those crockpots to good use and 2) lure emotional, vulnerable, and testosterone-crazed men back to our Hello Kitty-clad dungeons simply by wearing a very specific two-toned outfit… » 1/20/14 2:10pm 1/20/14 2:10pm

Lion Club Adorably Tries to Murder a Football

Dear Seahawks Fans, even if you are destined to watch your team lose this evening, you will still always have this adorable video of a lion cub trying to murder some official Seahawks merchandise with its itty-bitty claws. Look how it tries to disembowel the football! Too precious. We could eliminate concussions by… » 1/19/14 5:30pm 1/19/14 5:30pm

There’s No Earthly Way You Can Watch All the TV Tonight

Unless you're Adrian Veidt or James Woods in Videodrome and (spoiler alert) your stomach has turned into a weird VCR vagina, there's no way you'll be able to keep up with all the television you are required BY LAW to watch this evening. Seriously, the Sunday afternoon/evening lineup is so daunting…[How daunting is… » 1/12/14 1:00pm 1/12/14 1:00pm