Mom and Teens Vandalize High School Football Field with Giant Dick

There are only two things that could get me to care about high school football. One is an episode of Friday Night Lights. Two is a group of real life vandals who sneak onto a high school football field and burn a giant dick into the grass with weed killer. Friday Night Lights is sadly over, but the story of the… » 9/15/14 11:50am 9/15/14 11:50am

World's Worst People Defiantly Wear Ray Rice Jerseys to Football Game

The worst human beings in the world gathered to support one of their own last night, showing up to the Baltimore Ravens' home game proudly sporting their beloved Ray Rice jerseys as a show of support for the man who was caught on elevator surveillance video knocking his wife out with a punch to the face. » 9/12/14 3:40pm 9/12/14 3:40pm

Golden Retriever Loves Watching Football SO FUCKING MUCH OH MY GOD

This golden retriever, much like your cousin Chad, cannot even fucking cope with his excitement about football season. He loves it so much, in fact, that some Septembers he will hop back and forth laterally for NEARLY TWO POINT FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT. (Much like your cousin Chad.) And that is just the hopping we know… » 9/05/14 4:50pm 9/05/14 4:50pm

Why Roger Goodell's Meeting With Ray Rice And His Wife Was A Bad Idea

On June 16, Ray Rice and his wife, Janay, the woman he knocked out in an Atlantic City resort elevator, met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in his office. Four other men were present, according to Sports Illustrated's Peter King: Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome, team president Dick Cass, and NFL mucky-mucks Jeff Pash and… » 7/28/14 5:53pm 7/28/14 5:53pm

Face It, Women: The NFL Does Not Give a Shit About You

This week, the NFL issued a pitiful 2-game suspension against Ray Rice, the Ravens running back who earlier this year punched out his then-fiancee Janay Palmer and was seen on surveillance tape dragging her unconscious body out of a hotel elevator. Many critics responded by saying the NFL was sending a terrible… » 7/26/14 12:00pm 7/26/14 12:00pm

NFL: Beating a Woman Unconscious Is 1/8th as Bad as Pot Smoking

Earlier this year, Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punched his fiancee so hard she passed out and then dragged her unconscious body out of an elevator. The whole thing was caught on camera and resulted in Rice being charged with aggravated assault. His punishment from the NFL? Two game suspension. » 7/24/14 3:00pm 7/24/14 3:00pm

The Raiderettes Will Finally Be Paid Minimum Wage

In January, some members of the Raiderettes sued the Oakland Raiders, alleging that they were paid less than $5 an hour, denied overtime, expected to practice several times a week for free and subjected to bizarre fines by the team. They also had to abide by this ridiculous fucking etiquette guide, which instructs one… » 7/02/14 6:45pm 7/02/14 6:45pm

Heineken Sponsors Shoe Sale So Ladies Leave Men Alone to Watch Soccer

The Champions League final between Real Madrid and Atlético de Madrid is this Saturday, and, if you're familiar with tired tropes about how women are all basically mean mommies who want to ruin men's fun, that can only mean one thing: ladies are going to bug their boyfriends and husbands about watching The Big Game.… » 5/23/14 6:00pm 5/23/14 6:00pm

Calling Darren Sharper 'Too Sexy' to Rape Is Goddamn Ridiculous

Earlier this week, Tempe, Arizona police released documents that detail even more rape allegations against former NFL star Darren Sharper, who today will appear in court to face rape charges stemming from separate incidents in Los Angeles. In total, Sharper's alleged to have drugged 11 people and raped 7 women across… » 2/20/14 1:45pm 2/20/14 1:45pm

Tennessee's 'Secret Rape' Law Is Just as Stupid as it Sounds

Police in Tennessee have proposed a law that could make all details of rape cases — even the fact that a rape was committed in the first place — secret until the trial of the accused. Great news for police stations who can avoid being egged in the face by critical press; bad news for women who, you know, might want to… » 2/17/14 3:15pm 2/17/14 3:15pm

No, Erin Andrews Wasn't Terrified by Scary Black Man Richard Sherman

Following the victory by the Seattle Seahawks against the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship two weeks ago, Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman drew criticism for delivering an incredible post-game rant to Fox's sideline reporter Erin Andrews. While it seems strange to chastise a football player for being… » 2/03/14 4:15pm 2/03/14 4:15pm

Brooklyn Decker’s ‘Girly Guide to the Super Bowl’ Is a Headache

To be absolutely honest, the mouth-sounds "Brooklyn Decker" seem like they should be the name of a Brooklyn-inspired sandwich with, like, four pounds of corned beef and eight slices of rye. They are instead the name of actress and former model Brooklyn Decker, a human woman with very shiny hair and an impressive… » 2/02/14 4:15pm 2/02/14 4:15pm