Calling Darren Sharper 'Too Sexy' to Rape Is Goddamn Ridiculous

Earlier this week, Tempe, Arizona police released documents that detail even more rape allegations against former NFL star Darren Sharper, who today will appear in court to face rape charges stemming from separate incidents in Los Angeles. In total, Sharper's alleged to have drugged 11 people and raped 7 women across 4 … » 2/20/14 1:45pm 2/20/14 1:45pm

Tennessee's 'Secret Rape' Law Is Just as Stupid as it Sounds

Police in Tennessee have proposed a law that could make all details of rape cases — even the fact that a rape was committed in the first place — secret until the trial of the accused. Great news for police stations who can avoid being egged in the face by critical press; bad news for women who, you know, might want to… » 2/17/14 3:15pm 2/17/14 3:15pm

No, Erin Andrews Wasn't Terrified by Scary Black Man Richard Sherman

Following the victory by the Seattle Seahawks against the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship two weeks ago, Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman drew criticism for delivering an incredible post-game rant to Fox's sideline reporter Erin Andrews. While it seems strange to chastise a football player for being… » 2/03/14 4:15pm 2/03/14 4:15pm

Brooklyn Decker’s ‘Girly Guide to the Super Bowl’ Is a Headache

To be absolutely honest, the mouth-sounds "Brooklyn Decker" seem like they should be the name of a Brooklyn-inspired sandwich with, like, four pounds of corned beef and eight slices of rye. They are instead the name of actress and former model Brooklyn Decker, a human woman with very shiny hair and an impressive series… » 2/02/14 4:15pm 2/02/14 4:15pm

Cosmo Generously Teaches Ladies How to Look Hot for the Super Bowl

Listen up, girls. We've got a big day coming up in February. It's the Super Bowl, and it's our one and only chance all year to 1) put those crockpots to good use and 2) lure emotional, vulnerable, and testosterone-crazed men back to our Hello Kitty-clad dungeons simply by wearing a very specific two-toned outfit with… » 1/20/14 2:10pm 1/20/14 2:10pm

There’s No Earthly Way You Can Watch All the TV Tonight

Unless you're Adrian Veidt or James Woods in Videodrome and (spoiler alert) your stomach has turned into a weird VCR vagina, there's no way you'll be able to keep up with all the television you are required BY LAW to watch this evening. Seriously, the Sunday afternoon/evening lineup is so daunting…[How daunting is… » 1/12/14 1:00pm 1/12/14 1:00pm

An Introduction to Footballers

Aka, how Dr. Willowes keeps herself occupied during laundry times. While it saddens me that football (alright Yanks, soccer) is not a more popular sport in the States, it is my pleasure to introduce and share many of the beautiful men of the beautiful game with you. This list is by no means comprehensive, and after… » 12/22/13 9:59pm 12/22/13 9:59pm

Your Evening Inspiration: Disabled Veterans Kicking All Sorts of Ass

The Wounded Warrior Amputee football team is made up of veterans who have lost limbs while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. In November, the team faced off with another group of veterans for a no-holds-barred game. The catch? The other team was made up of non-disabled NFL veterans, not those who had served in the… » 12/10/13 8:30pm 12/10/13 8:30pm

Here’s a Ridiculous Heel Purse You Can’t Bring to an NFL Game

This is an official NFL heel purse (designed, presumably, by Kate Spade's insane, evil twin exclusively for lady serial killers who also want to show off their football fanhood) that you ironically can't, even if you went temporarily insane and purchased it for ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS, bring to an NFL game. » 12/08/13 4:00pm 12/08/13 4:00pm

What Not to Do When Your Favorite Athlete's Rape Charges Are Dropped

Yesterday, the Florida State Attorney's office dropped the rape investigation against FSU football player Jameis Winston, and of course, the Internet was a dick about it. So behold: our guide on how not to talk about the Jameis Winston rape case, since it's so hard for people to figure this out on their own. » 12/06/13 3:30pm 12/06/13 3:30pm

FSU QB and Alleged Rapist Jameis Winston Has a Sexy Fan, So, YOU KNOW.

What to do when you're a journalist writing about how Florida State University quarterback Jameis Winston's fans are sticking by him even though he's an alleged rapist? Make sure you include some "relevant" details about some of those fans, like the skimpy outfit one woman wore to watch him play. » 11/25/13 2:30pm 11/25/13 2:30pm

Boom: Four Steubenville School Officials Indicted in Teen Rape Case

This morning, Ohio's Republican Attorney General Mike DeWine announced the findings of a grand jury investigation into the roles Steubenville school officials played in covering up the town's now-infamous sexual assault of a girl by football players a year ago in August. Among those charged? The school's… » 11/25/13 12:40pm 11/25/13 12:40pm

Cops Fumble Sexual Assault Investigation of Florida State Quarterback

A female Florida State student who accused the school's Heisman-contender quarterback Jameis Winston of sexual battery says that the police warned her against reporting the crime, since Tallahassee is a "big football town" and it might make her life more difficult if the public got wind of this sort of thing. You know,… » 11/20/13 4:15am 11/20/13 4:15am