Hey guys, just here to brighten your fucking weekend, because we needed more good news about murderous, heavily-armed shitheads right now. Good times.
Look, sometimes you just have to rubble rubble, or at least the Australian equivalent.
Y’know. Just robbing a Dairy Queen with a sword. As one does.
In a ruling as unusual as it is heartening for wage advocates, a Papa John’s franchise owner has been sentenced to 60 days in jail for wage theft.
It is physically impossible for me to love a story with that headline any more than I already do.
A McDonald’s employee and a customer were engaged in a fight through the restaurant’s drive-thru, and each has a differing account of what happened. Guess whose account appears to be the more accurate one?
I’m not sure what to even say after that headline, because, uh...that’s not an embellishment.
For Christ’s sake, Hormel, at least pretend you’re not actively working to spread misery unto all corners of the Earth.
No jokes here; this story is just inventively awful all the way around.
A shitty Chicago bar is being shitty and trying to get shitty people to root for the shitty Cardinals with shitty free beer. Christ, and I’m not even a Cubs fan.
You get one guess which state brings us this story, after which I will hit you with a giant stick on which are whittled the words “IT’S ALWAYS FLORIDA.”
Amazingly, not Florida, Arizona, OR California. Step your games up, guys, you’re losing the crazy race. Except don’t, because this is some messed-up shit.
Tip theft lawsuits occur fairly frequently. It’s rare, however, to see a lawsuit with this many different accusations of impropriety—and where a few of the accusations are wholly unique.
If you’re looking for a way to get former restaurant employees to very quickly subsume their instincts and side with a customer, this would be how you do it.
Amazingly, this is not a Florida story.
Apparently, this is what it takes for a cop to actually get arrested in America.
If that’s not a quintessentially American headline, I don’t know what is.
Today in really fucked-up restaurant customer behavior: this.