Simon Borg has been suspended from his employment with Major League Soccer after warning women that they should temper their futbol fandom lest they render themselves undateable and unattractive to men.
Good news! The emperor penguin who strayed 3,000 miles from its home on Antarctica, to New Zealand — where he/she ate six-and-a-half pounds of wet sand, thinking it was snow — is reportedly doing much better. After we watched last week's bleak video of the lost penguin barely able to move during his rescue from the…
Turns out, God loves premature cynicism, absurdity, crippling insecurity masked in mostly bad jokes, and 12 year old boy humor, and thus yesterday at 6 pm, I was sucked by God's Hoover to heaven, just like that radio charlatan predicted. What he didn't predict, however, is how it really is up here.
A few weeks ago, I unloaded about female "fitness" and how our bodies' function as tools has gotten lost in a quest to be thin. Readers responded with their own stories, and what awesome stories they are.