Jezebel
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push up patriarchy
Can You Do As Many Push-Ups As The "Average" 40-Year-Old Woman?
We keep ignoring this story, which has topped or near-topped the New York Times "Most Emailed List" for days and days, mostly because, well just consider the headline, "An Enduring Measure of Fitness: The Simple Push-Up." Aaaaaaah! We can endure without measuring said "fitness", thanks very much! But today I finally read the story, and now have reason to warn you against following suit: it is BLATANTLY sexist. There is, for one, extensive discussion of 93-year-old push-up pioneer Jack Palance, who set numerous world push-up records, but there is not a single word addressing any record-holders in the arena of girl push-ups, or even really much mention of the girl push-up at all. No, it simply assumes women should be not only able to complete male push-ups, even though the push-up is an exercise invented by males and for males which, like its brother exercise the pull-up and all those spacial analysis questions, has served for generations solely to fuck women on elementary school achievement tests. But what's more: the story suggests that a woman of forty should be able to complete sixteen of these patriarchal exercises. Sixteen! Drop your MacBooks and give me sixteen, Jezebels! More »
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Women Choose Dudes Who Look Exactly Like Them
In two unrelated developments today, scientists have found that women not only eschew men with "macho" features, they gravitate towards men with similar allotments of body fat, which we believe is a clunky and excessively-scholarly way of arriving at the observation that women these days date men who look exactly like them. We believe this is borne out in pretty much every working couple we know, from the blog world to the celebreal world to the dudes we have fucked that we would consider fucking again versus the dudes we fucked who were entirely too skinny and pretty for us and only made it worse by repeating over and over again, "You're so pretty! You have such a nice body!" (Yeah, fuck all of you.) "It's because we're all so narcissistic, and so confused about what it means to have self-esteem," pointed out a thin, blue-eyed brunette BFF of ours who likes to date thin, blue-eyed brunette dudes. (Side note: can you call a dude brunette? Or is it just "brun," maybe with an umlaut? Anyhow.) More »
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Jezebel: A Love Letter To The Most Awesome Blog Name In The Universe
In the Old Testament of the Bible, Jezebel is a truly vicious tyrant who makes all the Israelites join her own heathenous religion and kills a lot of people. She's finally thrown out a window and eaten by dogs, and by the New Testament, she is reincarnated as a second-rate slut who gets churchgoers to eat foods meant for sacrificial offering. A similar watering-down of "Jezebel" has occurred in its pop cultural evolution — now an Atlanta lifestyle magazine starring Christina Aguilera! — which explains why our friends weren't exactly supportive of the name when we emailed about it:Jezebel = a derogatory name a wrinkly old lady in Macon, GA calls the mom (played by Barbara Eden) from "Harper Valley PTA," or anyone who wears too-big earrings. Probably from the Bible. Overused in classic rock, and likely on evangelical pulpits. Bordering on so religious and corny to make it ironically cool. But maybe still too commonly used to be truly ironically cool.Thanks, Lauren! After the jump, how we learned to stop listening to you and all our other friends and embrace "Jezebel." More »
