Jay Z Opening a Club at the Airport Because Flying Wasn't Shitty Enough

The key to a successful business, as I understand it, is finding some shit nobody needs and then filling it in the most inconvenient possible way (I am not great at business). Which is probably why Jay Z is opening a nightclub at the Atlanta airport—because lots of people NEED to voluntarily go hang out at the worst… » 5/23/14 12:15pm 5/23/14 12:15pm

Airlines Make First Class Even More Exclusive for Max Les Miz Effect

It's hard on the ultra-rich when they're forced to fly commercial. In consideration of their delicate sensibilities, airlines are increasingly pampering first and business-class passengers on international flights. The new hotness: Keeping them far, far away from the wretched, seething crowds of coach. » 2/27/14 2:15pm 2/27/14 2:15pm

Here's What It Feels Like to Be a Fat Person on a Plane.

On a crack-of-dawn flight from New York City to Seattle recently, I had my first ever, um, altercation with a seat mate. I'd almost missed the plane—I was that person staggering on board just before the doors closed—and I'm sure he thought he was going to have the row all to himself. I flashed him an apologetic smile… » 12/24/13 11:00am 12/24/13 11:00am

New Airline Seat for Bigger Passengers Still Seems Uncomfortable

There's no getting around the fact that flying sucks, and none of the changes (for anyone who can't afford a business class ticket) airlines have made in recent years have made it any more tolerable. Flying is especially crappy for heavier passengers, who are still subjected to the same discomfort and inconvenience… » 11/17/13 5:30pm 11/17/13 5:30pm

Here's Virgin America's Surprisingly Fun Safety Video

Virgin America has managed to do the impossible: make it look, for a few minutes, that commercial flights are funky experiences for skinny tie-wearing stylish people having a great time instead of bleak desperate slogs between city outskirts punctuated by elbow fights with surprisingly aggressive Bible-reading… » 10/30/13 11:00am 10/30/13 11:00am

Airline to Hire Only Thin Female Flight Attendants to 'Save Fuel'

A good trick to keep people from scrutinizing your unseemly behavior is to respond, "In this economy?" in an incredulous voice. For instance: if someone comes into my apartment and says, "Your air conditioner is attached to your windowsill with duct tape and it looks extremely terrible," I will reply, "Buying a… » 7/01/13 11:15am 7/01/13 11:15am

How to Get Over In-Flight Anxiety (Without Gobbling Pills or Drinks)

With almost one in three American adults anxious about flying, the de-stress ritual of a pre-flight cocktail to in-flight glass of wine/quaaludes routine is coming to be everyone's go-to for dealing with flying nerves. Now, ain't nothing wrong with a little booze or a couple of clonazepam to calm your nerves (or… » 4/16/13 3:30pm 4/16/13 3:30pm

What Your Airplane Sleep Style Says About You

Although sleeping on airplanes qualifies as actual sleep no more than that SkyMall stainless steel wallet qualifies as something you want, it's still the holy grail. Achieving slumber is not easy; it's impossible to do so without looking somewhat stupid. And the manner in which you doze can reveal quite a bit about… » 12/28/12 11:30am 12/28/12 11:30am

Woman Dies After Three Airlines Say She's Too Fat to Fly

Well, this sucks. Late last month, Bronx resident Vilma Soltesz and her husband Janos tried to board three separate airlines from Hungary to New York City, but they were repeatedly turned away. Why? Well, because they couldn't stuff Vilma's fatness into the plane, a seat, a wheelchair, an elevator — take your pick.… » 11/27/12 11:00am 11/27/12 11:00am

Glenn Beck Pouts About How American Airlines Was Mean to Him

Glenn Beck, the media personality who made being a recovering alcoholic his on-air shtick, used his radio show Wednesday to tell his 8 million listeners that an American Airlines flight attendant was rude to him because of his political persuasion, as if Glenn Beck was the first person ever to realize that air travel… » 9/06/12 9:30am 9/06/12 9:30am

Reader Email Haiku: You Stupid Slimeballs

The Jezebel inbox receives all sorts of interesting messages, from helpful tips to furious gibberish. Often, the missives strike us as poetic — in the chaos of the mailbag, we can find a sense of peace. As such, we have taken it upon ourselves to let some messages grow into the poetry they are meant to be. And we will… » 6/20/12 6:30pm 6/20/12 6:30pm

Cover Your Cleavage for Takeoff: Southwest Airlines Screws Up Again

On June 5th, Avital* was boarding a 6 AM flight from Las Vegas to New York in a comfy cotton dress, a loose open flannel shirt and a colorful scarf when she was told that her cleavage was "inappropriate." The airline dealt with the incident as it has many, many times in the past (at least when customers contact media… » 6/14/12 3:30pm 6/14/12 3:30pm

Man Strips Down at Airport Security to Protest the TSA Getting All Up…

There are plenty of reasons to dislike the TSA—any organization that hates cupcakes as much as they do should certainly be given some serious side eye. But one traveler got so fed up with them bothering him that in a burst of rage he got naked in the security line at the airport in protest. It's like when the… » 4/18/12 11:55pm 4/18/12 11:55pm

Dallas Flight Attendant Freaks the Fuck Out

American Airlines has just pulled ahead in the race to find new and devious ways of making air travel as inconvenient and terrifying as possible with news that a Chicago-bound flight was delayed in Dallas for one whole hour after a flight attendant hijacked (whoops!) the intercom and told patients that a) she was no… » 3/10/12 1:00pm 3/10/12 1:00pm