On last night's premiere of DWTS , Bristol Palin—billed as a "teen activist"—danced the Cha Cha to "Mama Told Me Not to Come," a perfect choice for abstinence-only education, while dressed like a sparkly version her mother.

Oh, those crazy celebs! What will they discover next?! Okay, I shouldn't assume; for all I know, the Kardashian-Jenners have been sweating the Indy 500 for years! In Florence Henderson and Jack Nicholson's case, probably.

• Even before Charlotte Lewis raised more questions about Roman Polanski's continued predation after pleading guilty to statutory rape, Michael Douglas said that he wouldn't sign a petition for him because Polanski "did break the law." [Associated Press]

It's the story… of a lovely lady… who "flashed" a bunch of magazine editors in their place of business. [Maxim]

[Los Angeles, May 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are reportedly planning a "commitment ceremony" in front of a rabbi at the Kabbalah Center in New York. Oooh, and a source says:

• It's Flo versus Clo! Florence Henderson has been watching Cloris Leachman on Dancing With The Stars and says: "I hope the audience doesn’t think all older people act like her. I love Cloris, but sometimes she acts like she’s not all there, or she’s wandering around the ballroom acting silly." Flo also says Leachman “is…