Oh dear. So this is why I recently lost a friendship when a friend accused me of flirting with her boyfriend.
Because "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Glitterbug, **'s friend. Yes, it's a good party. See you around" is actually Girl Speak for "meet me in the men's room in ten minutes, you sexy beast".
So I can either show my lack of interest and be labeled a bitch, try to be nice and be called a tease, or sleep with him anyway and get the title of slut. I LOVE CHOICES.
I think this might also work the other way around. I know sometimes women make the mistake of characterizing friendly male behavior as romantic or sexual interest.
I'm thankfully oblivious to such signals, so much that straight-forward flirting usually goes over my head until someone else points it out.
I wonder if I could get some funding to test this?
My solution: If you think a guy's really interested in you and you're not having any of that, talk about something that makes your intentions clear... or makes you less desirable to the common testosterone-fueled male. For example, I might talk about my experiences dissecting fish. It makes the boneheads lose interest and attracts the geeks - I can't lose!
This is acutally why I, really and truly, rarely make eye contact with men I don't know.
Although-- and this is a real debate I've had with myself-- the fact that I don't means that I don't get a good look at many of them, and so wouldn't be able to ID them if they stalk/attack/assault me. It's a Catc 22.
Not to excuse them, but apparently there are also "studies" that indicate because of some crossfire between the visual and limbic systems, women are actually better at reading body language than men.
THAT said, however, once the men learned they had this problem, you'd think they'd, IDK, read a book on the subject or something.
@Pomonarona: Even if it's got its roots in nature, they're thinking human beings and can overcome it. Biology isn't destiny. You CAN avoid being a presumptuous ass, even if it's your first inclination.
1. I was once chastised by a coworker for being "too friendly" with male customers. She meant I was giving them the wrong idea. For the record, I kept my top on the whole time.
2. When I complained to my boyfriend about getting hit on at work, he told me about The Five-Minute Rule: if you're still talking to a guy five minutes in, he always thinks you want his sweet lovin'. ALWAYS.
Oooh...I suffer from this big time. I want to be nice, but men do not seem to understand this does not always accompany some inherent desire to hump them. Ugh.
Anyway, if I am into you, I tend to unconsciously turn on the ice queen, so my flirtations should be the first sign that I am not at all interested.
@sequined: Ditto...it has honestly turned me into a homebody. I have no idea how I'm supposed to meet a nice fella and just, you know, get to know each other. But as soon as I smile they start to whip it out.
Seriously, I usually get propositioned for sex within the first hour of talking to a guy.
I always get gas when I like someone, so even if they didn't see my deceptive face smiling at them, they would definitely know SOMETHING was going on with me, if ya know what I mean. And I think you do.
01/31/09
Because "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Glitterbug, **'s friend. Yes, it's a good party. See you around" is actually Girl Speak for "meet me in the men's room in ten minutes, you sexy beast".
Damn.
01/30/09
I think some men's Babelfish Translator was malfunctioning because they seemed to think it was okay to hit on me.
01/30/09
01/30/09
01/31/09
01/30/09
I'm thankfully oblivious to such signals, so much that straight-forward flirting usually goes over my head until someone else points it out.
I wonder if I could get some funding to test this?
01/30/09
01/30/09
01/30/09
01/30/09
Although-- and this is a real debate I've had with myself-- the fact that I don't means that I don't get a good look at many of them, and so wouldn't be able to ID them if they stalk/attack/assault me. It's a Catc 22.
01/30/09
THAT said, however, once the men learned they had this problem, you'd think they'd, IDK, read a book on the subject or something.
01/30/09
01/30/09
01/30/09
1. I was once chastised by a coworker for being "too friendly" with male customers. She meant I was giving them the wrong idea. For the record, I kept my top on the whole time.
2. When I complained to my boyfriend about getting hit on at work, he told me about The Five-Minute Rule: if you're still talking to a guy five minutes in, he always thinks you want his sweet lovin'. ALWAYS.
01/30/09
01/30/09
01/30/09
01/30/09
Anyway, if I am into you, I tend to unconsciously turn on the ice queen, so my flirtations should be the first sign that I am not at all interested.
01/30/09
01/30/09
Seriously, I usually get propositioned for sex within the first hour of talking to a guy.
01/30/09
01/30/09
(Yes, I did that on purpose.)
01/30/09
01/30/09
The farting sealed the deal. You have my heart. That's all there is to it.
*brrrrp*
*poot*
01/30/09