fiance - Jezebel

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Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
Father Of The Bride?
Hells Bells
Is There A Better Word For "Fiancé"?

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DarlingMagpie
01/21/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
So what you're saying is that if you liked it then you should have thrown a ring at it?
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devilchyld22
01/21/09

@DarlingMagpie: ha.

this made me laugh.

and i thought you should know.
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labeled
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
OK, since no one will ever see this buried deep in the thread late at night, I can admit to you my best/worst "throwing" story.

I was making coffee and threw the coffee filter/plastic housing thing at my husband. Wet coffee grounds went splat up his leg in a MOST satisfying manner.

Cleaning up the resulting TRAUMA from my then-white "spanish drag" textured walls? Enough to cure me from throwing anything at him ever again. Not even remote controls (we went through about 3, IIRC).

Needless to say, he's a saint (asshole) who has never once threw anything at me.
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quickqueenof
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
Wow. Quick King and I never had that dramz, or I just loved the rock to much to consider hurling it at him. Dude, I would NEVER chuck my ring for any reason.
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LaComtesse
01/20/09

@quickqueenof: Holla. It strikes me as an incredibly childish and anemic gesture .
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devilchyld22
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
I've been engaged for about two months now and am totally over it. I hate planning anything and this is driving me insane. Whats worse is the excitement all of my friends have, that I just can't seem to match. Not that I don't love my fiance, I really really do. I just really really hate planning.

But, I would expect if I threw my ring at him, he'd take it and never give it back.

I don't think I'd blame him either.
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Dauphine
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
If I had an engagement ring, I would throw it. I am engaged, but every day I realize more and more that I don't believe in marriage and I don't know how to say it out loud. And everyone in the family always asks "When are you getting married?" and I just want to freak out and hide in a closet for the rest of my life. Preferably on a different continent from anyone I know. I'm going to move to the South Pole and become a researcher of penguins.
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
01/20/09

@Dauphine: I've been engaged for a year and we still haven't set a date. I'm not so much against marriage, but I think I'm going to have a random, spontaneous elopement to Vegas sometime in the next 10 days to 2.5 years, so no need to set a date. That usually shuts people up.
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theysaidwhat
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
Never been engaged and therefore never had a ring, but I did throw out a very nice necklace once after a horrible, ohyeswe'rebreakingupyoulyingsackofshit... fight. (He was, and we did.)

What to do with the claddagh necklace? It was such a mockery of what it was supposed to represent that I threw it in the garbage, rather than lay that karma on anyone else.
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dirtybee
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
I threw mine a few times in bouts of anger. Needless to say, the last time I gave it back I never saw it or him again - and I really miss that ring.
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tscheese
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
Also, if I ever get engaged, I kind of just want a cheap titanium band. It's economical, it isn't as fraught with human rights issues as are some (not all) diamonds, it doesn't react with my skin, and it doesn't snag on shit.

Also I guess I could throw it if I wanted to, though I probably wouldn't.
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sybann
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
I must have never had an adult relationship. I've never thrown anything.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
People are still getting engagement rings?
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Cerridwen
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
I've never thrown a ring, mostly because I never been engaged, but I did once hurl a necklace at my boyfriend that he had given me and had a bunch of sentimental value. I believe I tearfully and melodramatically called it a "hunk of meaningless tin."

We worked it out. I'm actually wearing the necklace right now.
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LintTrap
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
My hubs threw his ring at me once (we were secretly engaged for two years before we told everyone we planned on getting married/he gave me his grandma's ring, so I gave him one of the rings I always wore. He still wears it, next to his wedding band). And can I just say that the fights during our engagement were WAY worse than any we've had before or since. On the last NYE before our wedding we got into a drunk, screaming, bottle-throwing, friends-pulling-us-apart Armageddon fight in the middle of a party, in front of God and everyone. And you know what? Neither of us remembers what it was about, and we're both super happy to be married to one another. Which is the long way of saying, don't sweat it too much*, engaged ladies.

*within reason, of course. If he hit you or killed your cat or something you should probably DTMFA.
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LaComtesse
01/20/09

@LintTrap: Wow. I am SO glad a) I'm a cuddly drunk b)Mr. LaComtesse doesn't drink!
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badmutha
01/20/09

@LintTrap: We were screaming at each other on our Honeymoon about nonsense and divorce. It was horrible. But we turned out just fine.
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cantstopwontstop
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
No thrown engagement ring, but a variation....

A few weeks before the wedding, I was at my parents house taking care of a few pre-wedding bullshit details (word, Tracie. I hated making so many small decisions I cared so little about, topped with everyone and their sister asking stupid questions about the details I cared so little about and then watching their faces screw up in confusion as I flatly gave an answer. They are really expecting you to gush about the details. Like, really gush. When you don't it ruins their whole day.). Anyway... My sister (maid of honour) had a LOT more nervous energy about the whole thing than I did. We had a small fight which escalated quickly and ended in her throwing her dress down a flight of stairs at me and my mother crying and then me driving back to Toronto weeping and not seeing her again till the rehearsal dinner....

It really fucking hurt me. Like, really. WTF? I'm being this awesome calm, cool, collected bride planning an awesome low-key country wedding with city friends and crazy families and here you are, my sister, maid of honour, best friend, throwing your dress at me in a tantrum? That stings.

**

My mother once threw a cast iron frying pan at my father in a fit of rage (I think he lost money on horses). She missed, but it took a chunk out of the doorframe. They didn't fix it for 16 years. Quite the visual reminder to them both...

**

I once threw a large ceramic ashtray at an ex-bf who'd said, and I quote "What do you want from me? I paid my half." In reference to my abortion and subsequent depression. It hit him.
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badmutha
01/20/09

@cantstopwontstop: I am so glad you hit him with the ashtray. It sounds like, with an attitude like that, you were just preparing him for his inevitable future around women.
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la.donna.pietra
01/20/09

@cantstopwontstop: My future in-laws report that they used to fight like cats and dogs the first couple of years that they were married. Apparently, she was very prone to punching him when angry, and he eventually warned her that the next time she did it, he would hit back. (He was a Navy Seal and built like the proverbial brick shithouse.) Sure enough, next time they fought (in the swimming pool), she clocked him and he tried to roundhouse her.

But she ducked, and instead, he punched the side of the pool and broke three bones in his hand. She then quietly drove him to the emergency room and stopped hitting him after that. Needless to say, their marriage improved a whole lot.

(This whole story has been related to me by both future in-laws, separately, with great guilt and pleas to not repeat their dumb mistakes. I don't think either of them know that the other has told it to me.)
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dahliacactus
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
I can't remember doing this... but i have a boss that throws things at people as a sign of esteem.

He's actually very funny.

I don't have battered assistant syndrome... I swear.
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badmutha
01/20/09

@dahliacactus: Does he like to use Windex on all of his aches and pains?
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The Queen of No
01/20/09

In reply to Rites Of Passage: Throwing Your Engagement Ring In Anger
Reminds me of that amazingfantasticperfect fight between Brenda and Nate on Six Feet Under. He takes his ring off dramatically (after calling her a "miserable fucking cunt!") and she yells "don't you throw that ring at me! I'll fucking barf!" and so he tosses it half-heartedly and says "there.. barf!"

BEST EVER.
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