Fertility - Jezebel

posts about #fertility more →
Study: Richest Countries Have Higher Birth Rates
Daredevil Grandma Hang-Glides, Skydives • Semenya Withdraws From Championships
Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
Older Moms: What Are Their Critics Really Afraid Of?
Roxana Saberi Briefly Hospitalized • Big Newborn Almost Kills British Mom
Egg Freezing: A Good Backup, Or "Harmful To Feminism"?
Male Newspaper Columnist Knows When Women Should Marry
Scientists Agree: The More Orgasms The Better
The U.S. Baby Boom: Blame Bristol! Or Maybe Angelina
More Criticism Of Nadya Suleman' Fertility Doctor; Publicist Quits

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morninggloria
10/12/09

In reply to Study: Richest Countries Have Higher Birth Rates
Great Britain, in the face of the plummeting value of the Pound, has considered switching to "babies" as its new form of currency, as babies are plentiful and worth essentially the same as the British Pound, but have a more stable value internationally.
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ahpooks
10/12/09

@morninggloria: What's the conversion rate for babies? Is my one American baby worth 2 British babies? Because I might invest in some British babies. Perhaps Gerard Butler or Daniel Craig would like to help me.
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morninggloria
10/12/09

@ahpooks: British babies are worth about three American babies, provided that they pledge to remain in England long enough to learn to speak with that adorable baby British accent.
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likepenguins
10/12/09

@morninggloria: AAH! no! kids with british accents are creeeeeepy!
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

@morninggloria: British accents on children are all adorable until one of them starts seeing ghosts or getting murderous telekenesis. People never think of that; they only want to hear the cute stuff. Let me tell you something, missy, it's damn hard to get rid of poltergeists once your "adorable" British child summons them. And let's not forget that British children grow up to play all the villains in American movies!
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morninggloria
10/12/09

@likepenguins: I should fine you ten British babies for that kind of blasphemy.
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Lymed
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: And in their teen years, between poltergeisting and evil-doing, if they happen to need glasses, you are doomed to a know-it-all.
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

@Lymed: Or be put straight in the path of Lord Voldemort. Oh morninggloria, you've doomed us all!
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likepenguins
10/12/09

@morninggloria: It's like they should all be in the Shining!! Creepy, hyper-mature British kids, eeep!

Ha, my Gentleman Caller is British. If I went off the BC, I bet you I could pay off the ten British babies fine in no time.
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Lymed
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: Perhaps we should consider the even one American baby for one Canadian baby exchange. It will take a generation, but we will have universal health care.
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

@Lymed: DIBS!
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ihateyourescalade
10/12/09

In reply to Study: Richest Countries Have Higher Birth Rates
Cue the frothing-at-the-mouth child haters in 3...2...1...
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Edited by ihateyourescalade at 10/12/09 10:40 AM ihateyourescalade was starred

curiousgeorgiana
10/12/09

@ihateyourescalade: You do get a frothy mouth when eating newborns. Every pleasure has a consequence.
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

@curiousgeorgiana: I think that's an allergic reaction. You might want to see a doctor about that: you may need an EpiPen.
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sympathyforthebasementcat
10/12/09

@curiousgeorgiana: Hee. I wish I could heart you again. Wait, you're not a child, are you?
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curiousgeorgiana
10/12/09

@sympathyforthebasementcat: Put your fork and knife down. I'm an adult. I'll keep my eye out for a juicy teacup human to share.
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ihateyourescalade
10/12/09

@curiousgeorgiana: Baby-haters, silly. Not baby-eaters. Clearly, baby-eaters LOVE babies. Especially with a nice chianti.
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curiousgeorgiana
10/12/09

@ihateyourescalade: Sorry-- I'm hungry.
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schweppes
10/12/09

In reply to Study: Richest Countries Have Higher Birth Rates
It seems to me that quieting the fertility uptick at the high end of prosperity wouldn't have nearly as great of an effect than making the people who are already on this earth (however many there are) more environmentally sustainable. It seems like we're worried about the wrong thing here.
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

In reply to Study: Richest Countries Have Higher Birth Rates
Of course it's bad for the environment: when you have too many babies, people just toss them anywhere instead of in the appropriate bins, as seen above.
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CurtCole
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: I assumed the excess babies were going to be used as something to jump.
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Edited by CurtCole at 10/12/09 10:34 AM CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred

Zombie Ms. Skittles
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: It's like they think the Soylent Green makes itself.
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curiousgeorgiana
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: In our defense, though, the bins are never labeled properly and I have to drive like 15 minutes to my nearest location.
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LaComtesse promoted this comment Edited by curiousgeorgiana at 10/12/09 10:36 AM curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred

LaComtesse
10/12/09

@CurtCole: She's ready to rock!
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

@curiousgeorgiana: It couldn't be simpler. Cranky babies go in the green bin, giggly babies go in the blue bin with the burpy babies and the chatty babies, and all other babies can go out with the regular trash.

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: RIGHT? It's a waste of your most tender meat right there.
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ihateyourescalade
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: Then they get all feral and run loose in the streets.
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curiousgeorgiana
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: I can't even separate my plastic and my paper correctly. Ugh. Recycling is so hard.
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

@ihateyourescalade: Though I will say, there's nothing cuter than a marauding band of infants.. except of course for that gang of biker kittens, the Hell Katz.
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likepenguins
10/12/09

@curiousgeorgiana: I have to PAY for them to pick up my bin of babies!!

(Okay, but seriously. How is recycling supposed to catch on if you either have everyone driving to the center, which is counterproductive, or they have to pay to do it?)
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Lymed
10/12/09

@LaComtesse: Maybe where you live. I used to live an apartment that just had a bin labelled "baby" but it turned out they didn't recycle babies who started to get their teeth. Who knew? It wasn't listed anywhere. My current place, you can put all the recyclable babies in one bin. So much easier.
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Lymed
10/12/09

@likepenguins: That isn't everywhere. Every place I've lived, except the town I grew up in, gives you recycling bins and picks it up at the curb. My dad's town does the same. It's covered in your taxes.
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Snooties McSnooties
10/12/09

@curiousgeorgiana: Ugh, and they leak all over your car on the way, and you've got to Febreeze that shit for months. I mean, can't someone just invent a bag that can handle those tiny little claws? Force Flex my ass.
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LaComtesse
10/12/09

@Snooties McSnooties: "tiny little claws" just made me pee my pants laughing. You owe me new pants.

@Lymed: What a dream! My Babymen don't even take the separated babies if one of them is broken!
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KiddyKat
09/11/09

In reply to Daredevil Grandma Hang-Glides, Skydives • Semenya Withdraws From Championships
Sadly, even trying to stay safe and taking every precaution will not always prevent an abduction, rape, or other crime. But maybe there was no crime and Annie will be found safe and sound.
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alouette
09/11/09

@KiddyKat: There's no suspicion of foul play and (despite my first thoughts going to domestic) her fiance is fully involved. But our city can be scary in places, especially the area she disappeared from. I just hope everything turns out ok. I know the police have been in overdrive since Wednesday.
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Casquivana
09/11/09

In reply to Daredevil Grandma Hang-Glides, Skydives • Semenya Withdraws From Championships
Her coach says she's "not feeling well."
No shit. I wonder if you can feel well when everybody is wondering about your sex, making nasty comments about it and questioning if you deserved your win.
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IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
09/11/09

In reply to Daredevil Grandma Hang-Glides, Skydives • Semenya Withdraws From Championships
OMG must get to The Met! Any NYC area Jezzies wanna go pretend to be sophisticated and understand art?
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Edited by IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel at 09/11/09 5:42 PM

Mary McCarthyite
09/11/09

@IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel: I am a NYC Jezzie and I majored in Art History..I can pretend to be a tour guide :)
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boobookitteh
09/11/09

@IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel: I am ashamed to admit that I have lived in NYC for 4 years andI have not been to the Met yet.
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Mary McCarthyite
09/11/09

@boobookitteh: Get thee...there! It's great!
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NellMood
09/11/09

@boobookitteh: Oh my god, how is that possible? The Met is my favorite place, ever, so I'm very biased, but you should definitely go! I was thinking about going tonight for a glass of wine and art, but it's getting to be too late.
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IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
09/11/09

@boobookitteh: I've lived in the area (I'm in Jersey, but won't admit to it once I exit the tunnel) almost my entire life and I've never been.
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Shelwood
09/12/09

@IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel: There's a whole iTunesU podcast available for free about this painting, if you want to cram before going.
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dirtybee
09/11/09

In reply to Daredevil Grandma Hang-Glides, Skydives • Semenya Withdraws From Championships
Shit....you guys, that Susie Mann story brought me to tears.
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whoneedslight
09/11/09

@dirtybee:
Not only that, but to do all of those things with the particular kind of cancer she has? I don't even like to leave the comfort of my own bathroom when things get crazy down there.
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Jenloveshercurves
09/10/09

In reply to Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
Great-Granny had 20 children. Only 15 lived into adulthood. One set of twins, one set of triplets. She also lived into her late seventies. Though, her family with fewer children, if they didn't smoke, lived into their 90's.
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
09/10/09

In reply to Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
Does anyone know what the Duggar's stance on home vs. hospital birth?

I'm really quite impressed that Mrs. Duggar has only had 3 C-sections.
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Erda
09/10/09

@Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.: They seem to be ok with hospital birth, but I know some Quiverfulls are not. (According to the more radical ones, I'm a child of the devil for having been delivered into the world via C-section - never mind that I was breach and would likely have been stillborn otherwise!)
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos. promoted this comment Erda was starred Erda was unstarred

Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
09/10/09

@Erda: Thanks for the info! Also, if a baby was to be stillborn, I'm sure some of these people would just view it as an act of God.
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funnyface
09/10/09

@Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.: I believe all her kids have been delivered in the hospital.
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JennaW
09/10/09

@Erda: But if necessary, you can defeat MacBeth and save Scotland.
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Bgirl_Hamster
09/10/09

@JennaW: Love it.
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Erda
09/10/09

In reply to Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
I know that we're supposed to say this is Michelle Duggar's personal choice, blah blah blah, but when I think you analyze the reasons behind her choice - that the Quiverfull mentality is to overrun us "godless secular liberals" by having more babies, so as to impose their ultra-extreme, Handmaid's-Tale-esque brand of evangelical Christianity on the rest us, I think it becomes more than just her issue. I think it becomes our issue, too.

We're also being ignorant if we assume that she's going on with this happily, that she isn't under enormous pressure from the doctrine of her church and her husband to do this. We have no way of knowing if it's really her choice, now, do we? She may seem chirpy and happy on her TV show and her blog, but there's also a good likelihood she's hiding the problems so as not to give Quiverfull bad PR.

I just think it's rather short-sighted to dismiss this as just a typical case of a woman wanting lotsa babies. There's a big difference between the motivation behind the Duggars' big brood and, say, Octomom or Kate Plus 8. I think we have a reason to take the Duggars a bit more seriously than the rest of the famous big families.
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funnyface promoted this comment Edited by Erda at 09/10/09 3:17 PM Erda was starred Erda was unstarred

funnyface
09/10/09

@Erda: I think it's really her choice. She came to the Quiverfull movement as an adult, after experiencing a miscarriage.
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LolaQuinn is full of beans
09/10/09

In reply to Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
Next up: How many bowel movements can one person produce in a day? Says Septictank-full Movement Member Rusty Ringdorgfer, "I just want to take as many shits as God sees fit to give me, so I eat all of the eggs and prunes I can. To encourage the Lord's work, you know? When God doesn't want me to blast dookies anymore, that's fine. But until then, I'm gonna poop as many times as my body can handle, and then some. Every bowel movement is sacred."
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Habibiti
09/10/09

In reply to Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
Even though they clearly love having children, their choice to stop planning Michelle's pregnancies was after a miscarriage, which they were told was the result of using a birth control pill. They say that to them, use of the pill then became almost the equivalent of abortion, and so decided to stop using any contraception at all, ever. This breaks my heart.
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funnyface
09/10/09

@Habibiti: I'm not sure I buy that they're "not planning" Michelle's pregnancies, and would in fact bet that they are using NFP to time sex in order to GET pregnant. Even in the no BC days, before it even existed, 19 children would have been a rare and high number.
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KATE!
09/10/09

@funnyface: Wouldn't that go against the Quiverfull movement's ideology though? They believe that humans shouldn't chose when to have children, that they should allow God to choose for them.
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funnyface
09/10/09

@KATE!: You'd think it would, but I really think they have to be working at it to have 19 kids by now, despite the fact that she nurses.
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SarahMC
09/10/09

@KATE!: Funny how god doesn't choose to give people babies unless they've chosen to have sex.
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Habibiti
09/13/09

@funnyface: That's very possible. I'm just going with what they wrote on their website to explain their philosophy of having children. It just struck me as sad that they seemed so guilty for "causing the death" of their second child, that they didn't feel like they could choose any longer NOT to have children. It put their view on child-rearing in a different light, though they also say it makes them appreciate their children more.
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CherriSpryte
09/10/09

In reply to Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
I think some of the points here in regards to "in modern times" don't quite apply to the Duggars. From what I've read, the older kids take care of the younger ones, she started pretty young, and in terms of attention per child, don't the kids have to sign up for one-on-one time? She seems to be taking the old-school approach in terms of parenting methods.

Also, I'm VERY wary of judging people's choices based on what their bodies are able to do. Judging them because they're whackadoo Christians, I'm totally down with that.
(note: Not saying that all Christians are whackadoos. Most aren't. The quiverfull folks? Whackadoo city.)
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lisas
09/10/09

In reply to Is A Woman's Body Made For 19 Kids?
What I think is hilarious about this is that it's in "Body Odd". I'm pretty sure that a uterus isn't odd.

And I'm not sure why people are so convinced that a uterus can't grow and shrink but don't have any problems with the notion that the stomach does.
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