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On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
Woman Denied Fertility Treatments Because Her Husband Already Has Kids
Research Suggests Women May Produce Eggs As Adults
What About This Should The Government Regulate?
Backlash Hits Octuplets Doctor, Mom & Fertility Industry
IVF Patients To Other Infertile Females: Keep Your Paws Off Our Embryos

Baby Trouble

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girlarchaeologist
11/26/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
I can provide anecdotal evidence to back up the driving in the snow poll. Trucks blow past me on a regular basis. I feel like I should have a sign on my car:"I'm sorry, I'm from Vancouver".
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LadyFabulous
11/26/09

@girlarchaeologist: Ugh! I hate when they do that! I have come THISCLOSE to dying on the Pattullo at least a dozen times by trucks that are determined to drive in the inside lane (trucks that are a bazillion times bigger than my little Toyota.)
But at least the snow isn't usually a huge problem here (except last year!)
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BytheSea
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
Advance doesn't matter. If your book sells over the advance, then you're paid royalties for the overage.

However, for the normal author, if your book doesn't make the advance you're in trouble. Usually, it means you'll never publish again and your name is mud. However, some authors have been asked to pay back the advance. Sarah Palin? Not a chance.

A large advance that the sales don't meet just means that Palin cost her publishing company more money than any publishing company can afford to lose. Because of her, (depending on the company), a few thousand hopeful new authors, and a few thousand more established authors, won't see their books published this year, or ever. In publishing, it's never a bad thing to offer or take a smaller advance if your book is going to sell well. Unless you're JK Rowling, you don't take the large advance.
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Edited by BytheSea at 11/25/09 11:36 PM BytheSea was starred BytheSea was unstarred

conspicuouschick
11/26/09

@BytheSea: The majority of these 'big' advances don't earn out, and I've never heard of anyone being asked to 'return' their advance. If you have names and/or links to articles, I'd like to see them, because even liars like James Frey and plagarists like a particular young YA author and others have kept their large paycheck.

Like you, I find the fact these obscene advances go to celebrities or public figures who, ironically, don't write their own books anyway. The publishing industry is whining 'recession' and good writers with fabulous books can't make a living, yet they can still manage to drum up millions for ex-porn stars or beauty pagaent queens. Then they blame the midlist author for their financial ruin - really?
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BytheSea
11/26/09

@conspicuouschick: I've never heard of anyone being asked to 'return' their advance

I heard stories from agents and editors who were guest speakers at my grad school. They couldn't name names. They said it was rare, but has happened when the publishers banked big on something like a memoir that turned out to be fake and the public actually cared (as opposed to the discredited memoirs people still buy).

Also, some prolific mystery author (bitterest man on the planet) who came to speak also told a story of a author with pathological narcissism issues who could tell a good summery and get a good advance up front before he wrote the book, but never delivered. He was sued after he promised too many unwritten books. But again, rare case.

Anyway, publishers are desperate for the next JK to save their business but it's the midlist that's their bread and butter. But they routinely screw them over on their third or fourth book if they don't continue to outsell themselves. No one can keep that up. It's like asking a pro athelete to get a better and better average every year - even the best have good years and bad years. But a lot of midlisters get dropped after a few books b/c they don't turn into runaway hits.
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gherkinfiend
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
And now you know why the UK has around a 6% rape conviction rate on a good year...the police only worry about doing something wrong when it might affect a man, not when it might traumatise or endanger a woman.
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Edited by gherkinfiend at 11/25/09 7:02 PM gherkinfiend was starred gherkinfiend was unstarred

lucylooo
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
Slow down in bad weather? I can't count the number of times I"ve had some jackass blow by me doing 140 on the 401 in near-whiteout conditions. It's seriously making me want to start up my own specialized line of bumper stickers, which includes the classic "90% Of Doctors Say Your Penis Won't Shrink If You Use Your Turn Signal" and "You're Driving A Buick Not Eight Tiny Reindeer In This Blizzard, Genius, So Slow The F**k Down."
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JoStockton
11/25/09

@lucylooo: Heh. Over here on the Wet Coast, we have the opposite problem. The entire f*cking city STOPS if there is a cm of snow on the ground. Last Christmas, we had skytrains derailing because we don't build anything for snow.

I'd be curious to know if they actually sampled all of Canada... because if they did, I'm fairly sure that the 14% that do slow down in snow are all over here.
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LadyFabulous
11/26/09

@JoStockton: Last year I found out that Surrey only has 3 plows. 3!!! But it's because (apparently) we don't get as much snow as we did last year.
But srsly, where is the Plow King when you need him?
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curiousgeorgiana
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
In addition to being worthy of a larger advance, Secretary Clinton's book was actually readable.
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deeemer
11/25/09

@curiousgeorgiana: Yes. Clinton is so much more articulate. Her education shows. I think it's unfortunate that, when her book came out, people used her husband's affairs against her. As if it were somehow her own fault, and thus she wasn't worthy of telling a memoir.

PM-ed you, btw.
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HillGirl
11/25/09

@curiousgeorgiana: And she probably actually wrote it.
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curiousgeorgiana
11/25/09

@deeemer: (PM back at you)
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Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux
11/25/09

@curiousgeorgiana: And people actually paid, you know, full price for it. Unlike Ms. Sarah and her $4.99 NewsMax giveaway.
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phantom lady
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
soooooo.... being born a girl is a side effect?
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SweetIo
11/25/09

@phantom lady: I will be using ICSI, and I can dig this "side effect."
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Miss Scarlett
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
I like that raising the chance of having a girl is known as a "side effect". Really no one would ever know they are having a girl vs. boy because of medication.
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MargaretMoony
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
God, stories about people who don't know they're pregnant until they give birth terrify me! I mean, they made a whole tv series about it so it could happen to me.
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EndangeredRed
11/25/09

@MargaretMoony: Right? As if I wasn't already paranoid enough (says the girl who took a pregnancy test when she was still a virgin)? And then on top of not wanting to be pregnant and unaware, I also start worrying about deforming it with all the wine I drink. Poor little phantom baby.
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Sarah Dove
11/25/09

@MargaretMoony: It might be happening... NOW!
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MargaretMoony
11/26/09

@EndangeredRed: Me too!

#tips
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MargaretMoony
11/26/09

@Sarah Dove: Hopefully not in my uterus.

#tips
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Sarah Dove
11/27/09

@MargaretMoony: Well, if it happens inside your body but OUTSIDE your uterus, you have a whole new set of problems!
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MargaretMoony
11/27/09

@Sarah Dove: Ooooh, that actually just happened to the wife of a professor at my school. There was a tear in her uterus and the fetus floated into her intestines.
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Sarah Dove
12:12 AM

@MargaretMoony: Level of my maturity: I instantly thought AARGH POO BABY.
I'm guessing she lost the pregnancy? Will she be okay? What a rotten thing to happen.
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clevernamehere
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
The Sacred Heart assault case is interesting. I saw an AP piece on it where they had assumed it was a gang rape and then had to re-edit when the found out what they are actually accused of is fondly her against her will while she had consensual sex with someone else.

I'm kind of impressed the woman pressed charges, I think a lot of women would have felt they couldn't because there was no non-consensual penetration.
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Ailatan
11/25/09

In reply to On The Shelf: Hillary Vs. Sarah • Study: Police Ignore Rape Claims If Victim Is Drunk
"I wish I could be more artful in the way I say things." so you're actually praising yourself for your honesty?
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clockwise contemplates going counter
11/25/09

@Ailatan: Well, someone has to do it.
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Ailatan
11/25/09

@clockwise contemplates going counter: it seems she's better at this "artful" business than she gives herself credit.
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Chivone
05/09/09

In reply to Woman Denied Fertility Treatments Because Her Husband Already Has Kids
Isn't that a part of the ADA? That everyone is affirmed a right to bear life? Here in America I know that holds when it comes to the government and your body, but a private company is a different matter.

But in this case, it's different because she is paying a private company to aid her. It's not like she has a right to the use of their services. Had they denied her based on any reason other than her husband having kids, it'd be within THEIR rights as a private company. But to group them together isn't necessarily wrong if that was their companies policy and they knew that going in.
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@Chivone: in her case the funding would come from the government and there are limits to government funded IVF in the UK, but local boards can make the limits even narrower. here in the US government programs -- medicaid and medicare do not cover it, ADA directives or not.
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misspell
05/09/09

In reply to Woman Denied Fertility Treatments Because Her Husband Already Has Kids
I think the key thing is that "unfairly labeling the couple as one person" business. Only one of them is going to have to carry a living creature in her abdomen, and she's the one who needs help conceiving.
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@misspell: that's it exactly. they restrict government funding to only no- or one- child families, but since he has two, their quota has been filled as a couple, even though she has had none.
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greengrey
05/09/09

@Stabby McStabberson: Could she get around this via divorce/separation?
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@greengrey: interesting. i wonder if ivf are restricted to only married couples?

i also nder if they could go to another fertility clinic in the UK? part of the problem is that this particular clinic interprets the guidelines very narrowly.
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@Stabby McStabberson: if "ivf *is* restricted..." god, i need a nap.
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/09/09

In reply to Woman Denied Fertility Treatments Because Her Husband Already Has Kids
I think there's something really wrong about this. Why aren't people like the Duggars prevented from having more children or something if this is the case. I'm really bothered by this.
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NellMood
05/09/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: I don't understand your point about the Duggars?
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Laulau
05/09/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: Uh, I don't think forcibly preventing people who can biologically have children from doing so is a good idea.
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/09/09

@Laulau: @LibidinousSlut: But I'm just saying, if they're going to limit one person, why can't they limit others? How come Daddy Duggar is allowed to have eighty million children, but this other guy can only have two? Are children created in an IVF considered lesser children? There are so many sides to this that aren't clearly being evaluated that might set odd and unfavorable precedents.

There's just something about this that I'm very uncomfortable with. I don't like the idea of anyone making decisions about anyone's family size or what they do with their own uterus, and this definitely feels like something that should be decided by the couple, not their doctors.
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NellMood
05/09/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: But who is "allowing" the Duggars to have children?
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/09/09

@NellMood: I just feel that any sort of government-decided limitations on anyone's family size is creepy and very big-brother ish.
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NellMood
05/09/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: I agree. And I think that she should be given funding, since it's a right (to a limit) in the UK. But I don't think it's valid to compare families who conceive naturally with families who conceive with IVF in this circumstance. Her right to have children isn't being denied- it's her right to have the procedure paid for.
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
05/09/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: It's very reminiscent of China's one child policy, agreed.
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whynotshesaid
05/10/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: The government isn't saying she CAN'T have more than two babies using IVF; just that they won't pay for it.

I don't really have an issue with limits on government funding for something like this.
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

In reply to Woman Denied Fertility Treatments Because Her Husband Already Has Kids
it sgould be pointed out that she can have IVF if she pays for it. she has been turned down for natinal health funding, the equivalent of medicaid -- government funding. there are limits on government funding of IVF in the UK.
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@Stabby McStabberson: that would be "should".
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@Stabby McStabberson: and reading further, the problem is that there are not standardized countrywide rules, but only guidelines that clinics can narrow, which this clinic did.
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greengrey
05/09/09

@Stabby McStabberson: Really good point. No one is denying her the procedure.

Kind of like if I want breast implants. The government can totally deny paying for that, it doesn't mean I CAN'T get them. I just have to shell out the money myself.

I don't see too much of a problem with it.
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@greengrey: right, she is claiming that having a baby is a basic human right, and because they can't afford to pay for private IVF treatments,that they are efectively being denied that right, hence appealing to the european court of human rights in strasbourg. the question is, is conceiving a child an inalienable right, is the woman an individual distinct from the man and whose history is unique, and have they been denied that right when only one of them is denied that right. tricky, as in the UK, as noted, the national health program is funded by taxpayers. do they owe every individual a certain number of attempts.
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
05/09/09

@greengrey: Because breast implants are the same as a human life. And are you being denied these breast implants because your partner has already slept with someone who had breast implants?
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greengrey
05/09/09

@Stabby McStabberson: Sometimes it shocks me at how different some women are from me. She think a baby is a basic human right, I think a baby is a lifestyle choice.

I think governments should pay for necessary procedures, but I guess the debate starts at if a baby is "necessary" or not.

My heath insurance will pay for things I need. I need foot surgery. They're paying for that. Back to breast implants, I want those, I'm on my own with those.

I don't consider babies a NEED.
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@greengrey: i personally agree. i think ivf is a luxury. i grieve for those who don't have the opportunity to have children, in fact i am one of them, but having taxpayers pay for ivf is a bit much. i suspect this issue might come up in the us if we get some form of universal healthcare, though nadya suleman might have poisoned the issue..
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Stabby McStabberson
05/09/09

@undomesticgoddess responds well to temptation: @greengrey: one of the issues here is if conceiving a child is a basic human right or a luxury. a "want". in addition, greengrey and i would classify a *taxpayer-funded* procedure differently than a privately funded procedure. she hasn't been denied the procedure itself but the funding, because as a couple they are deemed exceeding the criteria for government funding. she thinks she has a basic human right to attempt to conceive with ivf, and greengrey and i call it a luxury, on the basis of the source of funding as well as the procedure itself as we feel it is a luxury. we wouldn't approve of government-funded boob jobs either.
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greengrey
05/09/09

In reply to Woman Denied Fertility Treatments Because Her Husband Already Has Kids
Biological children are a right? I do think this is pretty shitty, and they should do it if she can pay for it.

But it does make me think, why does everyone need biological children? Are biological children a right?
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NellMood
05/09/09

@greengrey: It's not that she can pay for it and she's being denied the procedure. It's that she's been deemed ineligible to receive government funding for the IVF.
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/09/09

@greengrey: If choice is allowed for terminating a pregnancy, then why shouldn't it be allowed for starting one? I don't like the idea of anyone saying what I can and can't do with my uterus.
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greengrey
05/09/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: She does have the choice to start one. Nothing is stopping her but her own biology.

I'm assuming that if she could fund this without the government she wouldn't be turned down?
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
05/09/09

@greengrey: Isn't that a little like saying that you have the right to stop a pregnancy, as long as your biology doesn't get in the way?
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/09/09

@greengrey: Simply playing devil's advocate, what if someone doesn't have the funds to get an abortion? Would it be right if they were just turned down?
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
05/09/09

@Bunsen Honeydew: Is abortion not government funded? i think it is here...
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ZafirahKhayln
05/10/09

@Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith: You and I are Canadian, so yes for here! Not sure about the degree to which american funding applies.
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
05/11/09

@ZafirahKhayln: I'm actually Kiwi, but tomato/tomahto, no?

@Mina_da_mad_child: Garr, really? Cos the upfront cost of an abortion is totally equal to financially supporting a child from 0 to 18. Urgh!
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