Teens Are Having Fewer Babies Than Ever. Chill Out About Twerking.

Freaking out about teen girls having teen sex is as American an institution as packing one's overtaxed colon full of heavily processed meats during football games. But reality paints a different picture than the pearl-clutching; for the severalth year in a row, all that sex teens are supposedly having due to TWERKING… »9/06/13 5:00pm9/06/13 5:00pm

Americans Aren’t Having Kids Because the Economy Sucks and Kids Are Money Gluttons

The economy is the worst, you guys. Just really, really shitty. For instance, if you were throwing a party and were brainstorming a list of people who definitely wouldn't be invited because they'd lock themselves in the bathroom or accidentally/on purpose eat all of your cold cuts, the economy would be at the top of… »7/25/12 9:15pm7/25/12 9:15pm

Morons Disappointed to Learn Most Babies Born in America Are Not White

When the US Census bureau announced this morning that for the first time in US history, the majority of babies born in 2011 were not white, naturally my first thought was to see what paranoids and dum dums on the internet were saying about it, because I'm nothing if not a chronic hater. After all, this sort of topic… »5/17/12 3:10pm5/17/12 3:10pm