feminismandzoelewis

posts about #feminismandzoelewis more →
Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

Janie Jones
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
God, that article (Lewis's, I mean) was painful to read. Pure, uncut bullshit. I have absolutely no sympathy for her.
Reply

Janie Jones was starred Janie Jones was unstarred

resonanteye
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
"Oh woe is me, I had the choice to work or not, and I chose to do it!"

\

Try living in poverty growing up, and getting your first job at 15. I never had not working as an option...And when you know you will have to work for the rest of your life, you tend to make the intelligent choice to found and form a career rather than a series of unfulfilling drone jobs.

I don't know many men OR women that could sit around waiting for their "soul mate" to show up and lift them out of the daily grind. In what fantasy land are people offered these two options as the only ones, anyway, and mututally exclusive, at that?

/

I dislike people speaking from a position of privilege and coming down on those of us with none.
Reply

resonanteye was starred resonanteye was unstarred

Riff Randell, Rock 'n' Roller
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
holy WOW, Megan. This was an excellent piece. Right on.
Reply

littlebunnyfoofoo
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
All the single guys I know would run away quickly from a woman whose only ambition was to get married and have babies. Modern guys like women they can brag about. I find that most men are proud of their intelligent wives and girlfriends. Never have I met a guy who boasts, "She's a real moron and has zero ambition! Jackpot!"

And if one did...well, he's not a guy you want to marry. See: Drew Peterson.

Zoe Lewis insults men and women alike with her depressed ramblings. Girlfriend needs Zoloft and counseling STAT.
Reply

littlebunnyfoofoo was starred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
02/10/09

@littlebunnyfoofoo:"And if one did...well, he's not a guy you want to marry. See: Drew Peterson."

Heh. So much this.
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

MockMyWorld
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
Hmm. I'm unhappy, self-absorbed, childless and a feminist too. I even acknowledge that some of those things are connected. But somehow I kind of like the combination. It's my shtick, you know?

I always figured:
Better unhappy than complacent.
Better self-absorbed than self-abnegating.
Better childless than resentful of my children, as I'm pretty certain I would be.
Better feminist than...do I even have to explain this?

And better posting random pointless attempts at wit and wisdom on teh Internetz than SELLING OUT MY ENTIRE GENDER AND THE MOVEMENT THAT MADE MY LIFESTYLE CHOICES ABOVE POSSIBLE, to the LOWEST FUCKING JOURNALISTIC BIDDER, yet.
Reply

MockMyWorld was starred MockMyWorld was unstarred

msAnthrope
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
what i love is how these particular men who don't want a woman with a career will suddenly start complaining about this situation, 15 or so years into the marriage. when they realize how stressful it is to carry the bulk (or all) of the family's living expenses ie mortgage, kids, etc. suddenly they start questioning the choices they made when they were younger. what the hell was i thinking? and why won't she go to work now? ms (miss?) lewis should've spent some time exploring this side of the equation.

also, the author has a very angry face. maybe that has something to do with why she hasn't found a relationship, either. her forehead and eyes look like they're always in a perpetual frown.
Reply

msAnthrope was starred msAnthrope was unstarred

Bel-adonna
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
My mother encouraged me to never marry, just "have a career and boyfriends on the side," she said, and I love her for that. She was taken for granted in a marriage she felt she couldn't leave because she would be left with nothing, and she wanted something better for her daughter. I fucked and fought my way through my twenties, and I don't regret a single choice I made -- good and bad.

In my thirties, I've met the love of my life who adores the cynical, competitive, creative, smart, childless woman I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Reply

Bel-adonna was starred Bel-adonna was unstarred

veronykah
02/10/09

@Bel-adonna: I just friended you. Your mother sounds like Mae West, amazing.
Reply

veronykah was starred veronykah was unstarred

chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
02/11/09

@Bel-adonna: Awesome!

Yes, that's all, just: Awesome!
Reply

lowkeylo
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
I haven't read the piece, but in *very slight* defense of what one of her points *might* be, it does seem like power and success equal sexual attractiveness in males in a way that doesn't always hold true for females.
Reply

lowkeylo was starred lowkeylo was unstarred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
02/10/09

@lowkeylo: That may well be. But have you considered that's because keeping valuable societal resources in men's hands, and all the propaganda in favor of it, including devaluing them as social capital when women hold them instead/in addition, supports keeping the current power structure exactly like it is -- and not because feminism is TEH EVOL?
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

lowkeylo
02/10/09

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: @Rooo sez BISH PLZ:
Yeah, I hear what you are saying and agree with it, but it has come as somewhat of a surprise for women of my generation (X), I think. It seems like the men I know who have similar educations and accomplishments to their name get a lot more out of it, mate-attraction-wise, than I do as a female (which is not to say that there haven't been any men who have admired what I've accomplished).
Reply

lowkeylo was starred lowkeylo was unstarred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
02/10/09

@lowkeylo: I'm a generation X. It never surprised me. Why did/does it surprise you?
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
"Perhaps I am just a spoilt middle-class girl who had a career and who has now changed her mind about what she wants from life."

Yeah.

Perhaps.
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

bklyn155
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
"I feel a great pressure from other women of my generation who have husbands and children to join their club. In their eyes, I am not the trailblazer but the failure."

Hmm, I wonder if while she was pursuing her career, she viewed people w families as the failures, and that's why she feels they're judging her the same way now...
Perhaps if she didn't live her life for other people (her mom or the potential men she could attract), she could find happiness. It sounds like she doesn't know what she really wants. Her motives have come from everywhere but herself, and that's exactly where she's placing the blame.
Reply

bklyn155 was starred bklyn155 was unstarred

veronykah
02/10/09

@bklyn155: Really? All my friends who are married and have kids encourage me NOT to get married or have kids.

Not one has pitied me or pressured me, quite the opposite.
Reply

veronykah was starred veronykah was unstarred

Mafalda para Presidente
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
I'm confused. Those failures she names have NOTHING to do with whether or not one is a feminist. One could be married, have 10 kids, not work, AND STILL BE A FEMINIST. Feminism isn't about rejecting certain "womanly" jobs or about remaining single, or childless. It's about equality and the freedom of choice. Seems like she chose her career over developing a relationship and now she's looking for something to blame for the lack of the latter.
Reply

hussein persepolis hussein
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
Hmm, my mother was seriously old world, old fashioned, but could open jars with her teeth. Easily. She never taught me a thing about being a feminist but I turned to be a big one. And a happy big one. A happy big one with a career I love. But it probably doesn't count because I'm a lezebel, right MS. Lewis?
Reply

Red-headed bookworm
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
So does she think all men are happy with their lives? Some are and some aren't. I think everyone does look back and think maybe they should have done something in their life differently but, that would change who you are at this moment. No one has a perfect life, we just have to be as happy as we can with what we can make of it.
Reply

sarahspy
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
i agree with every single one of your critiques on this article... but i also think it's possible she may have just been caught on a an extra- self-pitying day. no excuse, really-- but she just sounds like her unhappiness is affecting her ability to answer interview questions sanely.

for what that's worth! without knowing her work well, but understanding she's had some cool success & is otherwise a kinda tough chick, i just know my moody-ness affects my otherwise strong sense of pride some days! (i guess i'm hoping thats the case, anyway)
Reply

sarahspy was starred sarahspy was unstarred

emilyanne
02/10/09

@sarahspy: but she wrote the article, herself, it's not an interview, so I can't let her off. And she must have pitched it to an editor as well.
Reply

emilyanne was starred emilyanne was unstarred

meloroast
02/10/09

In reply to Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness
two great myths in life:

the grass is always greener

and

a man or child will make you 'happy'

i hate to quote Tolle but "relationships aren't here to make you happy or fulfilled they are here to make you conscious".
also, you should be happy BEFORE the kid lady. too much pressure on a little tyke to deliver.
Reply

meloroast was starred meloroast was unstarred

veronykah
02/10/09

@meloroast: I have FINALLY realized that, about the man making you happy. I actually realized for the most part being in a relationship makes me LESS happy when all is said and done.

Just one little nugget of wisdom I have finally admitted to myself.
Reply

veronykah was starred veronykah was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#feminismandzoelewis

Jezebel

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Feminism Is The Supposed Key To Women's Unhappiness

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment