Jezebel 
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New York, 11:39 PM
Fri Nov 27
29 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/13/09
Nerd secret: the people calling you a nerd/wonk in a bad way are probably dumber than you.
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10/13/09
YES, CALCULATORS CAN BE SEXAY.
10/13/09
You know how there's that whole thing where women are "sluts" but men are "studs," or men are "assertive CEOs" and women are "bitches"? It's like, even if you called a woman an "assertive CEO" it would still kind of come across as "bitch" to most readers. So people try to constantly undercut compliments by also bringing up her "femininity," which is necessarily subordinated, submissive, or conciliatory. I think when women want to say that Clinton's doing a good job, they have trouble articulating it in a way that they feel does not come across as implying "bitch" or "castrating man-hater." Their solution to that is to counter each compliment with what is essentially an insult, as this post so clearly lays out.
It isn't impossible--Jezebel writers do it every day. But Jezebel's staff also isn't afraid to openly be feminist or even confrontational (also, are good writers). It's sad that average journalists aren't good enough at writing to manage to get around our culture's prohibition on complimenting women's success and intelligence, and it's sad that they also feel like they have to temper any attempt at compliments. They are not only playing into the social trope of women's subordinate position, they're enforcing the structure of our language that codes things like "powerful," "assertive," "intelligent," and "competent" as masculine, and therefore vaguely insulting to women. Because calling a woman a masculine-coded adjective, even if it's complimentary, can be taken as insulting by some people, because it has masculinity embedded in its meaning.
10/13/09
And I completely disagree that intelligent or competent are gendered words. My mother has been running her own newsroom for twenty years, and people never shy away from calling her intelligent or competent. Powerful, assertive, yes; intelligent, no.
08/10/09
Weirdly, when I think of feeling "masculine", I think of wearing pencil skirts, walking in heels that click against tile, and using biting or clever sarcasm. When I think of feeling "feminine", it's wearing a full skirt that moves with the wind, walking with an easy sway to my hips, and listening a lot more. But I also enjoy both of those states, and don't see either of them as preferable to the other.
I think I'm framing "masculinity" and "femininity" according to the audience -- I'm more likely to be on offense verbally with a roomful of guys, and I like being dressed a particular way when playing power games with men.
08/10/09
The opposite is true when I am around me who are stereotypically masculine - I am suddenly very aware of myself as a woman.
But when I am on my own, or when I am with a close friend or my husband, I no longer think about such things. I am just me.
08/10/09
No thank you.
08/10/09
These things are fascinating to think about but I can never quite get my head around it. Because I don't buy it... any of it. I know I've felt the same way as these men at various times- self-reliant, dominating, etc. I never think of it as a masculine experience. It's part of being a competent grown up.
Is that something only men can be?
08/10/09
Lol, Luke, what?
You have psycho killer eyes. I have no love for you.
08/10/09
Maybe me with a fish.
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08/10/09
this is un-nuanced and touches on way too many things to be coherent. i am thinking, i suppose, of transmen who i've known pre- and post-transition, who felt a greater need to assert that stereotypical manly masculinity pre-transition, and then post-transition, when feeling more comfortable about society seeing them as the men they are, felt freer to sew, or whatever.
08/10/09
Women: NEVER fuck this man. EVER.
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08/10/09
I mean, "dominating my field of study"?? "Self-reliance?" "Strong emotionally"?
Are these not qualities also found in MANY women? Are these really STILL seen as gendered qualities? And if so, I hate what that suggests about their inverse, "feminine" qualities.
Seems some DO get it though: Those would be the ones mentioning clothing choices and gender roles (yes, one actually uses that term), who clearly understand they're celebrating a construct they've embraced.
08/10/09
That's when I feel feminine.
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