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New York, 8:36 PM
Thu Nov 26
3 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/22/09
[www.scientificamerican.com]
The author noted that the people who can't recognize fear are actually different from people with autism, who have difficult recognizing ALL types of emotions on other peoples' faces.
Aren't more men pscyhopaths than women? Or, at least we hear about more male serial killers than women? Not that all killers are pscyhopaths, but maybe this would help explain why men kill more than women do? #emotions
10/21/09
But yeah I second what lobsterswithmittens said; it's probably because women are afraid more often than men. #emotions
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/22/09
10/21/09
A few years ago, it was brought to my attention that most men, while they understand that women experience fear walking alone at night or in a parking garage, don't really "get" it. As in, they don't know what it is to feel fear in an everyday situation. It's not for lack of compassion, it's simply something they don't have to feel. So perhaps this has something to do with their own abilities to detect fear in others.
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/22/09
Besides which the statistics- men being physically assaulted more- don't actually tell us much about... well, anything. I'm interested in where you got the stat from, if you can point me to the study I'd like to see more info.
I'm afraid when I'm out and about (and sometimes when I'm not) partially because of my life experiences, and the experiences of the other women in my life, which I won't get into, but it's been clear to me from a young age that I'm subject to a particular kind of violence because of my gender. If you've been blessed with feeling you have no reason to fear, then I envy you. My fear isn't debilitating but I could do without it. #emotions
10/22/09
10/22/09
We definitely hear about the rapes/abductions/killings. But in reality, crime is fairly low and most people don't have those things happen to them. In fact, women are at the greatest risk from people they know--their boyfriends, husbands, friends, acquaintances. I think that a lot of times we get afraid of the unknown, the dark, strangers--but that fear is pretty unfounded for the most part. #emotions
10/22/09
I know MANY women who have been raped, both by strangers and people they knew. I'm sure I know more women who have been raped by never told me about it, as well.
I also hear in the news, in my city at least, all the time (every day) about women being assaulted by a stranger in the street, or a warning from the police that they have to release this violent sex offender onto the streets and they are worried he will commit the crime again (they often/usually do). It's become a running joke between me and my mother because all the time there are photos of these men in the paper that women (specifically women) are supposed to look out for because they have a history of breaking into women's homes at night and raping them, or for raping them on the street, and we joke that we'll never remember all of their faces, so what's the point of even releasing the photo? Also, at the place I go to school there have been attacks on women at night who are alone by strange men (who haven't been caught). The stats on women being raped are something like, what, 1 in 4? Depending where you look, could be more, or less, but still a sizable chunk of the female population.
Given all this (and my past experiences and the past experiences of the other women in my life)- how exactly is my fear unfounded? Just because the statistics say my boyfriend is more likely to rape me, that doesn't make it "reality"- it's just a stat. Stats do not tell the whole story.
I have felt and been threatened by strange men in the middle of the day. The threat of assault is a constant cloud over my head if I am out on my own, because I am very aware that it happens a lot. Also, I have had very disconcerting encounters with men where I wasn't sure exactly how much I was at risk. Men have purposefully intimidated me (often in groups) out in public, making me very conscious of my very REAL vulnerability to them.
Where ever you live that these things don't happen to you, I would like to move there. #emotions
10/22/09
I think that a lot of the news reports aren't about presenting representative facts--but about scaring us. The 24/7 media ensures that every time someone gets kidnapped or murdered or raped, we hear about it. The world isn't any more dangerous than it was fifty years ago. It's just that we talk about sex crimes more (a good thing!) and that we hear about scary stories because of the Nancy Graces of the world.
I think that the whole 24/7 media reporting all this stuff is bad for women. It perpetuates the notion that we need to be constantly afraid, when in reality as long as we're all (male/female) mostly aware of our surroundings, then bad stuff probably won't happen. And if it does, it's more than likely not going to happen from a total stranger, but from someone that we know. #emotions
10/23/09
10/23/09
I guess I prefer to look at facts, not opinions or feelings, when deciding things. #emotions
10/21/09
10/21/09
A lot of women in bad relationships over time stop showing as many emotions... maybe because they're misread... #emotions
10/21/09
10/22/09
03/24/09
03/23/09
I would be able to watch people, unseen, all day long.
And no one could drag me onstage for anything.
03/22/09
I also hate driving. It gives me panic attacks. I hate the sense of being inside something bigger than my body, such that I do not have control over its boundaries. Ok, that probably made no sense. Suffice it to say, my anxiety dreams consist of me driving large trucks on the highway. And for this I will probably be eternally a public-transit-taker.
03/22/09
I also occasionally become afraid that I'm going to drop whatever little thing I'm carrying-- a mug or something-- totally randomly and feel I have to grip it very tightly.
Geez, it's like I have no faith in my basic motor skills...
03/22/09
03/22/09
Oh, god, and don't get me started on the leaf blowers my apartment's maintenance crew uses.
03/22/09
03/22/09
Are you afraid of the finger-pricker as well (to test for WBC?)?
03/22/09
03/22/09
When I was a kid, for some reason one of my nurses tried to use a finger-pricker on me and I jerked my hand out of it so fast/with such wonderful timing that she actually got herself. I still hate those things.
Some people just don't understand that even if a fear is irrational, that doesn't make it any less terrifying - sometimes it makes it even scarier because there's all this worry and meta-worry.
03/22/09
I am also very afraid of nail files.
I am autistic, though, so I have very many "irrational" fears.
03/22/09
When you go to the movies, do you just sit on the end of an aisle, so no one will be on your right?
03/22/09
That's a ridiculous fear, right?
03/23/09
03/22/09
Heights, especially when climbing DOWN from things.
Roaches, b/c I lived in a roach-infested apartment for two years, and have a very vivid memory of waking up with one of the little fuckers crawling on my NAKED BACK.
And, as a child, bathwater overflowing the bathtub and drowning us all. I outgrew that one eventually.
Oh, and don't FUCKING GET ME STARTED on the Red Bull. (From The Last Unicorn--not the beverage.)
03/22/09
This year for Christmas I drove to my parents' new house in New Orleans. From Houston. This involved driving over the Sabine river (a high-up bridge), the insanely long Atchafalaya bridge system (no land for something like 27 miles) as well as the Baton Rouge bridge over the Mississippi river. So, I got there and the traffic wasn't too bad, I didn't get stuck anywhere, and I had a few drinks before realizing that I'd have to do it all again in a week and a half. I hit Baton Rouge traffic and sat on that bridge for 30 minutes, nauseous from the movement in the wind and tremors of the freight trucks. But, I mothertrucking DID IT, BITCHES! I'm still proud.