I tear up at every single evidence of responsible loving fatherhood because I lost mine in 2004 and I've never met a better, sweeter, more ethical man - who really loved his daughters and raised us to believe we could do anything.
My friend recently had a daughter and I told him that no one would ever love him in the same way and that he was in for the ride of his life. I then cried. He just grinned at me.
It's things like this that make me call my dad and tell him I love him. I honestly feel so blessed to have a father who was invested in my life, even to this day when I live many many miles away from him.
Has anyone seen Obama's Hulu commercial concerning fatherhood? I find it rather offensive, honestly. He says, "Being a father is important - but it doesn't have to take up a lot of your time, because the smallest moments make the biggest impact on a child's life." (I'm quoting from memory here). It reinforces the idea that fathers can bear far less involvement than the mother, implying that to be a good dad, all you have to do is stop in once in a while and give them a hug. It irritates me every time I see it.
@toastandlove: I think he said "it only takes a few minutes". My husband and I thought it sounded a little funny, but maybe he's trying to speak out to men who don't spend any time with their kids at all.
Here's the video:
On similar note, please check out this blog: [www.mattlogelin.com] He's not only a single dad, he's a widower. His wife died the day after their daughter was born. His writing is honest, a little rough sometimes, but it gives amazing insight into his situation. Plus he does a great job of giving props to the many women who are doing what he's doing too.
Okay. Please forgive me but I
m going to try to word this the best way I can so that hopefully the comment doesn't get misconstrued. Alright, here goes: I think Steinem is overrated. To me she is not my icon. She is the icon for formerly repressed, middle class white woman in America.
Yes, the Feminine Mystique was groundbreaking in the sense that it challenged society to look at woman as autonomous people, and that we could have other roles in life outside of motherhood. However groundbreaking that everything was at the time..in my opinion it didn't apply to the women of color, or working class women. A lot of black and working class women were already working outside of the home, and taking on roles that included, single mom, father, business owner, working mother.
Ugh.How can I explain this? It seems like sometimes the women's movement was really the white women's movement. From what my mother has taught me, the ideology of working outside your home, and having choices was something that a lot of black woman already knew and had been practicing for decades, even centuries.
I don't know maybe this is just me venting, sometimes I don't feel like women of color are always thought of when it comes to the modern feminist movement. I definitely see more discussion these days, especially at this site, about the uniquely sexist situations that women of color have to go through.... I don't know, I just lost my train of thought. If someone could help me hear, or if you understand the point I'm trying to make then please help me better articulate my point...
@Imjustnotthatintoyou: This has also been the complaint of many people in the "second wave" of feminism. We needed a new wave (not the one with Tears for Fears) to make feminism more inclusive. Steinem inspires some people, but not others.
@Imjustnotthatintoyou: You do know that she didn't write the Feminine Mystique, right? Anyway, if you're interested in reading a bit about some of the tensions in second-wave feminism around ideas of class, race and other things, I highly recommend In our Time: Memoir of a Revolution. It's a great read.
@Imjustnotthatintoyou: I think much of the problem lies in pinning the movement on one person's actions or words (and Steinem seems to have a problem with this, too). It's part of why some women are reluctant to call themselves feminist, or why we argue over who is and isn't a feminist. It's not a cult ā there's room for debate and change.
What a great point, that we need the label of "feminism" and "women's lib" in order to be able to express a new idea, a new point of view, a new lifestyle. Though it should be completely normalized in our society, it isn't yet so we need the words to express it and push it further.
On her relationship with her father:
I've only in adult life come to realize how important that was, that I actually saw a nurturing maleā¦Even those of us who intellectualize about it and know how important it is that men become equal parents of children, if you've never experienced it, it's hard to have faith in it. In retrospect, I probably should have thanked my father for this, that he showed me that.
THIS. if only more men would get this. if there's anything that contributes more to the breakdown of the american family, it's not the notion of gay marriage...it's men who generation after generation have opted out of their parental responsibilities. as thankful as i am that i had a close relationship with my father, i'm sad that something like what i had is considered novel and unique when it shouldn't be in the first place.
@rednrowdy: Word. The social ill I always heard about as the downfall of society was divorce, but I came out a good, solid person, and I think it's because I had both a mom and a dad who were awesome, loving and involved.
This interview ought to be played everywhere, the way Christmas music is from Halloween through December in supermarkets and drugstores, until it starts to seem natural. Maybe that will accelerate the advent of the revolution: a constant current of sound undermining the cult of masculinity. Now if only we could figure a way to get the dudes in charge to put this record on repeat.
I just sent the masculinity quote to my boyfriend, who is teaching a college course on constructions of masculinity this summer. I think it sums things up nicely.
Granted I don't have the full context for the quote, but that comment about world peace irks me, though I'm rather easily irked. I wouldn't argue that a cult of masculinity doesn't contribute to war, or that war is not gendered, but to reduce war to an issue of parenting is to get rid of a lot of other political, historical, economic factors that go into the production of violence and war. It seems to psychologize things and to make it all about gender, which it's clearly not. It also seems to rely on the idea that if women ran the world, we'd have no war.
@ChuffedLittleMuffin: I agree - - - - is the fact that there seems to be a correlation between war & men really a function of the fact that most countries in history have had leaders who are men and, regardless of the gender of the leader, countries fight. It just seems like a tired line to me.
@ChuffedLittleMuffin: Yeah, the men/war thing is baloney. History is full of warrior women. Also, in more recent times, let's not forget Margaret Thatcher manufactured the Falklands War and she's a mother (in more ways than one).
@Diziet_Sma: I didn't take it as men=war. She said "masculinity." Just because a woman is a woman doesn't mean she can't buy into the cult of masculinity. I'd say Thatcher is a prime example of a woman who does that.
@ChuffedLittleMuffin: Steinem's gone on the record before about how women likely have just as much potential to be violent and start wars, but we're not in the position to do so now and likely won't be for a very, very long time, so let's deal with what we have. I don't think she's looking at anything innate, just thousands of years of history.
The putting the name to a thing is so freaking true. An odd analogy, but quite a few years back I was having these moments where I literally felt like I was going to die and had to get home as quickly as possible or else. It didn't get 100% better once my therapist finally named these episodes as panic attacks, but boy did having a name help me to feel in more control of the situation. I think a similar thing can be applied to feminism and calling out our culture as androcentric - it's not just you getting annoyed at the way you're sometimes treated, or portrayed in the media, or described. It's an endemic problem against which we have made mere inroads.
08/12/09
My friend recently had a daughter and I told him that no one would ever love him in the same way and that he was in for the ride of his life. I then cried. He just grinned at me.
08/12/09
08/12/09
08/12/09
08/12/09
Here's the video:
08/12/09
08/12/09
08/12/09
07/11/09
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07/10/09
m going to try to word this the best way I can so that hopefully the comment doesn't get misconstrued. Alright, here goes: I think Steinem is overrated. To me she is not my icon. She is the icon for formerly repressed, middle class white woman in America.
Yes, the Feminine Mystique was groundbreaking in the sense that it challenged society to look at woman as autonomous people, and that we could have other roles in life outside of motherhood. However groundbreaking that everything was at the time..in my opinion it didn't apply to the women of color, or working class women. A lot of black and working class women were already working outside of the home, and taking on roles that included, single mom, father, business owner, working mother.
Ugh.How can I explain this? It seems like sometimes the women's movement was really the white women's movement. From what my mother has taught me, the ideology of working outside your home, and having choices was something that a lot of black woman already knew and had been practicing for decades, even centuries.
I don't know maybe this is just me venting, sometimes I don't feel like women of color are always thought of when it comes to the modern feminist movement. I definitely see more discussion these days, especially at this site, about the uniquely sexist situations that women of color have to go through.... I don't know, I just lost my train of thought. If someone could help me hear, or if you understand the point I'm trying to make then please help me better articulate my point...
07/10/09
07/10/09
07/10/09
(I knew I loved one of my journalism professors when he told a story about interviewing Susan Brownmiller in the 70s and flirting with her.)
07/10/09
07/12/09
This. The fact that even in 2009 thw word feminist is still considered tantamount to a curse word is the problem. I wholeheartedly agree with you.
07/10/09
07/10/09
I've only in adult life come to realize how important that was, that I actually saw a nurturing maleā¦Even those of us who intellectualize about it and know how important it is that men become equal parents of children, if you've never experienced it, it's hard to have faith in it. In retrospect, I probably should have thanked my father for this, that he showed me that.
THIS. if only more men would get this. if there's anything that contributes more to the breakdown of the american family, it's not the notion of gay marriage...it's men who generation after generation have opted out of their parental responsibilities. as thankful as i am that i had a close relationship with my father, i'm sad that something like what i had is considered novel and unique when it shouldn't be in the first place.
07/10/09
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07/10/09
07/10/09
There are also things that I agree with!
07/10/09
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