My Body Is Undisciplined and I Deny Myself Nearly Everything I Desire

I watched the first few seasons of The Biggest Loser avidly. The show offered the ultimate fat girl fantasy—go to a "ranch" for a few months, and under the pressure of intense personal trainers, low caloric intake, the manipulations of reality show producers and the constant surveillance of television cameras, lose… » 4/10/14 4:00pm 4/10/14 4:00pm

Woman Can't Have Kids After Gastric Bypass, Still Happy to Be Thin

A woman named Jill Strasburg appeared on Oprah in 2005 to confront her fat-phobic father for being a giant garbagey dickweed rather insensitive about her weight. She was the youngest of his children, her father, Kirk, explained, and always the fattest. She was always chubby, always bigger. Childhood photos reveal a… » 1/31/14 4:00pm 1/31/14 4:00pm

The Complete Guide to Never Ever Ever Getting Fat

BUMMER ALERT, HAIRLESS PRIMATES! New research suggests that keeping yourself warm might be making you fat. You see, when the external temperature drops, your body burns more calories in order to warm itself—6% more calories, to be exact, according to Dutch researchers—but when you crank up the central heating to 72,… » 1/27/14 3:00pm 1/27/14 3:00pm

Here's What It Feels Like to Be a Fat Person on a Plane.

On a crack-of-dawn flight from New York City to Seattle recently, I had my first ever, um, altercation with a seat mate. I'd almost missed the plane—I was that person staggering on board just before the doors closed—and I'm sure he thought he was going to have the row all to himself. I flashed him an apologetic smile… » 12/24/13 11:00am 12/24/13 11:00am

Buzz Off, Special K, We Don't Need Your Lecture on Fat Talk

Ladies! Special K (the cereal brand, not the drug) has a very special message for all of you. It's come to their attention that 93 percent of women are engaging in "fat talk." And that's bad. It's so bad, in fact, that Special K has launched an entire ad campaign, complete with Tyra Banks as spokesperson, devoted to… » 12/11/13 12:30pm 12/11/13 12:30pm

The FDA Is Trying to Ban Artifical Trans Fats

The Food and Drug Administration is taking steps to almost completely eliminate trans fats from the food supply. They've submitted a proposal available for public comment in which partially hydrogenated oils (PHOs) which are responsible for trans fats would no longer be "generally recognized as safe." Somewhere, Mayor… » 11/07/13 11:00am 11/07/13 11:00am

Halloween Jerk to Hand Out Notes Telling Trick or Treaters They're Fat

A local busybody in Fargo, North Dakota has decided to take America's child obesity epidemic on herself this Halloween by only giving candy to the trick or treaters she deems thin enough to deserve candy. The rest of the kids — those the woman deems "moderately obese" — get notes telling their parents to stop having… » 10/30/13 10:00am 10/30/13 10:00am

'Healthy Obese' Is Possible, But Maybe Not Forever

As many as a third of obese adults are considered metabolically healthy, meaning they have normal cholesterol and blood pressure levels and show no signs of developing diabetes. Still, they're considered a medical mystery, but new research has shed some light on why some people can be healthy at any size, while… » 10/09/13 11:50am 10/09/13 11:50am

Underbutt: Our Best Weapon Against the Bullshit Mythology of Cellulite

Thanks to the ubiquitous cheeky shorts trend, these days, you can't angrily chuck an iPhone without hitting some teen in the exposed buttcheeks. Some naysayers might say that this is Bad because won't somebody think of the intact hymens? or that it's Harmful because what about those of us with buttcheeks we don't… » 9/04/13 6:15pm 9/04/13 6:15pm

Thin Women: I've Got Your Back. Could You Get Mine?

Let's just get this out of the way right up front, everyone: Don't tell thin women to eat a cheeseburger. Don't tell fat women to put down the fork. Don't tell underweight men to bulk up. Don't tell women with facial hair to wax, don't tell uncircumcised men they're gross, don't tell muscular women to go easy on the… » 8/21/13 5:30pm 8/21/13 5:30pm

I'm a Size 18 Yogi, and Lululemon Can Kiss My Fat Ass

Lululemon, like many major retailers before them, likes to pretend that a size 4 is the size of the average woman in the United States. Despite much evidence to the contrary, they cater their overpriced wares to an America that doesn't exist, and have no desire to change their dumb-ass ways. Therefore, I meant what I… » 8/01/13 11:10am 8/01/13 11:10am

How to Lose All The Weight You Want in Just 89 Simple Steps

Summer's here and the time is right for getting super duper skinny! Where to begin? Since there are always approximately one point seven two zillion stories about how to lose weight, you might be confuzzled. Don't be! We collected the most important weight loss stories we've seen over the last couple of months and… » 7/29/13 12:53pm 7/29/13 12:53pm