Gooooooooo America! Some countries might be all, "Pooh pooh, I dew nut allow my cheezbeurgueur quotient to rise abeuve 5% beceuze I am tew beezay eating verrrry small miniateure cheeckens and plump oleeves straight frem de vine!" (That's my "other country" accent. I'm really good at it.) But America is like, "Oh,…
Today, Chick-fil-A's famously homophobic owners released a statement announcing that the fast food chain would no longer be donating money to anti-gay groups. Victory, right? We totally win, right?! Not really. Regardless of whether the Chick-fil-A brass are contributing to a camp that uses Jesus to turn homos into…
Micky D's is getting a jump on a national requirement that big restaurant chains post their menu items' caloric content. Starting Monday, whenever you walk, sashay, cartwheel, tap dance, mosey, crawl, or languidly roll beneath the golden arches, you'll be confronted by some cold, hard truths: single McDonald's food…
Neat! Remember when everyone went gaga about calories and health and so all the fast food chains scrambled to invent some hella gross wilty cheese-covered "salads" and gave kids the option of having apples and walnuts instead of fries with their 8,000-calorie cheeseburgers? (Health crisis solved!) Well, turns out…
Bigots in New Hampshire are going to have to find a way to support limited rights fer the queerz — the manager of the state's only Chick-fil-A has announced that unlike his parent company's CEO, he's just fine with gay people. So fine, in fact, that he'll continue to be a sponsor the state's gay pride festival so all…
All this time we ladies thought going to McDonald's and ordering a burger and downing it with some fries was really turning the guys on, which is obviously why we all went there in the first place. But it looks like we have been terribly mistaken. Our milkshakes might in fact be driving boys from the
yard
Playland—at…
It used to be that you had to drive to a fast food restaurant, park your car, and walk all the way inside to order. Then came the advent of the drive-thru, and it became all the more easy to say, yes, in fact, I would like fries with that. And now, finally, the last barrier between you and a giant, gooey manufactured…
Don't let Wendy's impress you with its "Baconator" hamburger. While we only get to choose how many beef patties we want on the troublingly named Dave's Hot 'N Juicy burger, the chain is saving the good stuff for customers in Japan. Two years after leaving the country, the company has opened a new restaurant in Tokyo,…
Two separate incidents of questionable requests at fast food restaurants have led for renewed calls from the nation's lazy, horny potheads for diversified services at burger joints.
The McRib is only back through November 14th, but the internet has helpfully come up with a way to ensure you won't miss it much once it's gone: Analyzing the contents of the mysterious sandwich. The reconstituted pork-based patty probably contains tripe, heart, and scalded stomachs. That may sound a bit gross to…
America is suffering from a current lack of screens on every possible fucking surface, says no one. So it's no surprise that McDonalds is getting in on the action by launching its own in-restaurant TV channel, so its patrons taking comfort in their sandwiches made of chemicals designed to approximate meat and…
Heinz ketchup packets have looked the same since 1968, but now the company is rolling out a radical new design. The new "dip and squeeze" packets hold three times as much ketchup and they can be squeezed out one end, or the foil can be pulled back for dipping. It seems like a simple concept, but for some reason it…
Burger King has a new strategy that involves attracting moms by jumping on the marginally healthy bandwagon — and that means dumping the "King" character. Ads for the limited edition California Whopper (made with guacamole, Swiss cheese, and bacon) will launch this weekend and feature only shots of fresh ingredients…
Granted, the list of disturbing trends in America right now is mighty long, but the fact that the ratio of fast food restaurants to grocery stores is 5:1 deserves a place in the ranks:
McDonald's knows how to make authentic cultural cuisine. Just ask any Irish person about their Shamrock shakes! So the French must be psyched about the company's announcement that it will soon add baguettes to its menu in France. For too long the French have been forced to buy their bread at traditional boulangeries.…
As part of its ongoing campaign to convince health advocates that it isn't callously filling children's bellies with wildly unhealthy foods, McDonald's has decided to make fruits and vegetables part of every Happy Meal. Parents can already swap fries for sliced apples and low-fat caramel sauce, but only 11% of meals…
Here's a crap story about the FLOTUS, who made an visit to a newly-opened Shake Shack in Washington, D.C. The obvious implication here is that because Michelle Obama is a champion of child nutrition, involves herself in a national effort to get people moving (not to mention fit enough to do the Dougie), and helped…
The woman who plays Betty Draper says: "I'll stop at McDonald's and get a strawberry shake and fries and not feel guilty at all, because I deserve it."
Here are a few things that the Internet loves: Fucking; Photoshop, fast food; Cats. Itself. And sexism, too! We had it all this year. Check out the most-read stories of the year and you'll see what we mean.
