The Fart Watch App would’ve transformed the Apple Watch from a needless chunk of metal to a needless chunk of metal that makes fart noises. But Apple, party poopers, won’t let the bros have their fun.

There comes a time in every actor's life when they're expected to eat a whole can of beans on camera and then perform in a love scene. Kristen Schaal's time is now.

Dita Von Teese is a gorgeous, well-considered, meticulously put together image of frilly, no-muss retro femininity. In spite of this, she has launched a maternity lingerie line as gorgeous and delicate as she is, and it will be perfect for all your hottest new mom farts.

Here is a cake in the shape of a unicorn farting rainbow farts. You are welcome.

I am, for the most part, a sour and grumpy human who has HAD IT UP TO HERE (imagine something really high) with the internet's incessant dazzles and follies. But every once in a long, long while, a special treasure comes along that blasts apart my apathy with a cylindrical jet of hot, steamy funk coming out of a butt.

While famed Irish novelist and poet James Joyce is best known for authoring works like Ulysses and Dubliners, his creativity actually expanded well beyond his public oeuvre and into his private life, as made evident by the series of poetic love letters he wrote to his wife Nora Barnacle. Joyce truly loved Nora (the…

I haven't learned much in my 31 years on this planet, but boy have I learned this: Fart news is never good news.

Is there anything that could have made the *NSYNC VMA reunion any better? Yes. There are lots of things that could have made the *NSYNC VMA reunion better — jet packs, the return of Justin Timberlake's ramen noodle hair, a different song catalog. The list goes on and on. Still, there is one thing that happened during…

Conventional wisdom (or, as the Internet Kids call it, Rule 34) suggests that for everything innocent and nonsexual that exists, there is a porn version of that thing. Everything. The Flintstones, Teletubbies, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Everything. I'd like to suggest a corollary to that rule: everything that exists…

"You’ve seen them. You’ve heard them. Now you will smell them," promises a TLC press release for the upcoming second season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. The network will be hosting a "Watch 'n Sniff" event for the season premiere on July 17 by distributing scent cards in issues of People, Us, through Time Warner…

I will never forget 7th grade gym class, and the two girls whose names I will not use, who spent most of the beginning of every class period showing us all how to queef. The bell would ring, and before the teacher even left her office, they would roll onto their backs like breakdancers, pull their legs up to their…

A Food Network chef, who describes himself as "somewhat famous," allegedly posted a rant&rave on Craigslist to share a delightful personal victory more than four years in the making: since January 21st, 2008, he has been engaged in the project of farting on everyone of his kitchen employees. Audibly and sensorially…