• After Kevin Smith's began twittering last night claiming he'd been kicked off a Southwest flight for being too fat, the Southwest Air twitter page responded: "I'm so sorry for your experience tonight! Hopefully we can make things right." [NYDN]

• In what TMZ is billing as the "Decline of Western Civilization," Khloe Kardashian toured the White House and met President Obama today.

• Elin Nordgren isn't leaving Tiger Woods, but she is revising their prenup. A source claims she's "being paid a hefty seven-figure amount - immediately transferred into an account she alone controls - to stick with her husband."

• Robert Pattinson took Kristen Stewart to a "secret" dinner with his parents. So secret that this Britloid knows about it!

• John Mayer went to a gay club in Palm Springs on Saturday night. According to an eyewitness, a man approached him and "planted a big kiss right on his lips – and John seemed to enjoy it!"

• Victoria Beckham put away her Hermes bags and Louboutins and wore shredded jeans and combat boots as she joined son Brooklyn and spent 2 days with impoverished children in Kentucky.

• Lindsay Lohan is taking legal action against Michael Lohan, who has been talking about kidnapping her and putting her in rehab. Her lawyer says she's seeking a restraining order and may file a defamation lawsuit against him. [TMZ]

• Police are investigating whether the people who robbed Lindsay Lohan are the same people who broke into Audrina Patridge's home in February. Male robbers in both cases looks similar and in both incidents the burglars walked in through unlocked doors.

• Gerard Butler had to shoot a wedding photograph with Jennifer Aniston as a prop for their characters in The Bounty. Gerard says:

• Lily Allen was performing in Helsinki, Finland when she burst into tears. Before the show, she Tweeted:

• Renée Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are so on. How on are they?

In the new issue of Vanity Fair Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal are described as "the Angelina and Brad of their day," which seems unfair to Brad Pitt, considering he's never shot at or hit on one of his kids.

• Jennifer Lopez "threw a fit" when guests were late to her 40th birthday bash:

• Hailey Glassman says her love affair with Jon Gosselin is filled with laughter, home cooked dinners and romantic games of ping pong, but, "If you had told me a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed you."

• According to this report, Samantha Ronson went out with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo last night, got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan about it, and threw LL's clothes out into the street.

• Yesterday afternoon the police were called to Mischa Barton's home to help with a "medical issue." Now a source says she's been placed under involuntary psychiatric hold.

• Is Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox's friendship in trouble? A source says:

• Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson the night before her 29th birthday on July 10, which is especially tragic because she had planned a Barbie and Ken themed party.

• Kate Moss and Beth Ditto performed an "impromptu duet" at a club last night — singing "Space Oddity" by David Bowie. Guess who thought they did a great job? Simon Cowell. [The Sun]

It's Wednesday, so this is Midweek Madness, our tabloid roundup. Star was the only rag without Michael Jackson on the covers this week, maybe hoping people prefer "Beach Bodies" to untimely death? Step inside for more weeklies, after the jump.