This year's winner is 22-year-old Rika Urban, who, according to TechBanyan.com, "won an apartment in Budapest," for taking the crown. You have to be at least 18 to enter the competition, though Katie Drummond at True/Slant also points out that there was a "a 'special' category for women over 30 (because, you know, the old broads probably needed a few more tweaks than us hot young things)."

I'm a bit torn on this, to be honest. As far as pageants go, it seems to me to be the equivalent of the Miss USA pageant, with perhaps a little more honesty going on. There's no scholarship at stake here, as is the case with the Miss America program—this is a night for women to compete based on their looks for a fabulous apartment or a car or some cash, which is essentially the same path contestants take in Donald Trump's Miss USA program.

However, there is something disconcerting about a pageant blatantly being used to promote cosmetic surgery. It's a bit like a very glamorous episode of that horrific reality show, The Swan, with every contestant beaming on the runway after successfully undergoing plastic surgery. This is not to say that all plastic surgery is terrible for all women, as many women, I'm sure, have had positive experiences with it, but the idea of parading women around as if surgery is just as easy as putting on some mascara or tying one's hair into an up-do instead of, well, you know, a serious medical procedure, is a bit scary. It's bad enough women have to be faced with stupid pageants where the definition of "beauty" is about as narrow as it gets, and adding surgery to the mix and celebrating that increasingly narrow vision of beauty is only going to make things worse. Such as.

Rika Urban Wins Miss Plastic Hungary 2009 [Tech Banyan]
Horror In Hungary: A Beauty Pageant For Plastic Princesses [True/Slant]
Hungary Pageant For Surgically Enhanced Beauties [AP]

Haskins warns that being like Barbie is not all Malibu beaches, with sunshine, pool parties, boyfriends and waterfalls. Barbie has had so many careers! "Buckle your seatbelts and go to graduate school," Haskins suggests. Clip below.

Sarah Haskins in Target Women: Barbie [Current]

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Brides, Botox & Yogurt: Sarah Haskins Targets Those Who Target Women

First, there's that multimillion-dollar store in Shanghai. Because what do the Chinese need more than a capitalist shrine to a blonde, blue-eyed plastic lady? And what does this mean: "The toy maker has given the Chinese doll bigger eyes, a rounder face and a softer complexion than the U.S. version"? According to the piece in the LA Times, the store is a gamble:

Whether China can give Barbie new life remains to be seen. Mattel's recently opened store in Buenos Aires has been drawing crowds. But there are plenty of doubters who point out that you need only go into a Chinese home. You won't find many girls playing with dolls, let alone dolls with blond hair and blue eyes.

But, as a slide show from Time magazine illustrates, Barbie has always spread herself thin, trying to be all things to all people. In 50 years, Barbie has had more than 100 professions, including fashion designer (1960) , flight attendant (1961), astronaut (1965), soldier (1992), and presidential candidate (2004). Lately, she's become a tattoo enthusiast.

But one thing Barbie has never been is realistically proportioned. The BBC wonders what Barbie would look like if scaled up to human proportions. The results are frightening: A five foot six woman would have a 20-inch waist, 27 inch bust and 29 inch hips; or, if the woman kept her 28 inch waist, she would need to be seven-foot-six to have Barbie's proportions. Notes the Daily Mail:

Researchers at Finland's University Central Hospital in Helsinki say if Barbie were life size she would lack the 17 to 22% body fat required for a woman to menstruate. So again, not an unachievable figure, but certainly not a healthy one.

Of course, Barbie is just a toy. Not a real role model. (unless you're Sarah Burge, who got thousands of dollars in plastic surgery to look like the doll). Still: She is someone people continue to feel comfortable having around their children, and she remains more popular than the Bratz. Despite what we think about her, she's not even really intended for adults. In an interview with Forbes (no, really) Barbie says:

At the end of the day my best friends are little girls, so, truthfully, they help me keep it real. On any given day they take me on all sorts of imaginative adventures—from a princess to a president, movie star to mermaid, fashionista to fairy—so I really can't take myself that seriously.

At 50 Years Old, Barbie Gets Tattoos — And A Megastore In China [LA TImes]
Photos: Barbie Turns 50 [Time]
Tattoo Barbie Raises Concerns [UPI]
The Forbes Fictional Interview: Barbie [Forbes]
What Would A Real Life Barbie Look Like? [BBC]
Barbie At 50: In The Pink [Economist]
Related: Barbie at 50, Popular, Ponytailed and Primo [NY Times]
Barbie's Last Will And Testament [Forbes]
China: First All-Barbie Store Opens [NY Times]

This is a Barbie face mold. A wee Mommie Dearest, no?

According to the copy, "the doll is sold in 150 countries, has represented more than 50 nationalities and ethnicities." When I was a kid, though, I was pretty sure that the black one looked just like the white one, except, you know, brown.

What makes Barbie Barbie: Her awesome makeup.

Ouch.

Oh, I think I had that one! At the time, I hated her hair, because I could not get a comb through it. Lord knows I tried! Those teeny suckers broke.

Isn't it interesting that every single detail was designed and approved?

Will this little lady live to spread her message of blondeness, feet made for heels and "dream" houses to children for another 50 years? Probably! Lots more images here.


The Making Of Barbie [DesignBoom]

Fourth quarter sales of the improbably proportioned blonde — who turns 50 next month — were down 21 percent. That's just part of a terrible quarter for Mattel where profits were down 46 percent. (This totally blows my theory that Barbie is the toy equivalent of Spam) The only division up for Mattel was the American Girls brand, sales of which rose 5 percent.

Now, American Girl dolls seem a strange choice for their recession. They're overpriced, insufferably bougie products. (I had Samantha!) But at least with their companion books and era-correct clothing the dolls invite girls to make connections with history.

Contrast that with Barbie who is just a babe with good props. What's her back story besides occasionally taking multiethnic friends to the beach and carrying on a codependent relationship with some smooth-crotched narcissist?

Bitch doesn't stand a chance.

Mattel In No Mood to Party As Barbie Feels Her Age [The Independent]
Barbie Blues Weigh on Mattel [Financial Times]
Slate Women Discuss American Girls Dolls [Slate]