• The Emmy Awards are tonight, and host Neil Patrick Harris apparently has a few tricks up his sleeve, including a visit from Dr. Horrible and John Hodgman announcing questionable factoids as the winners go up to collect their prizes. [EW]

• The stars are already collecting swag, picking up platinum baubles, video games, luxury trips and designer handbags at various Emmy gifting suites. [NYTimes]
• Seth MacFarlane hopes to make history tonight by having Family Guy pick up the Best Comedy Series award. [NYTimes]
• Tom O'Neil of the theenvelope.com, an awards show website, says that he's afraid the Emmys will be filled with repeat winners: "I think we will definitely see repeats of the best drama and comedy winners of last year, and we risk seeing repeats of all of the top winners for the first time in Emmy history. There's going to be a lot of outcry if that happens and unjustifiably so, because if these shows deserve to win, they should. But people want fresh new things." Among those potential repeat champs? 30 Rock and Mad Men. [Reuters]
• Hugh Laurie says the limp he puts on in order to play House is taking a toll on his body: "The show might last to series seven, eight or nine but I don't know if I will, because I'm starting to lose my knees a little bit. It's a lot of hip work. There's things going badly wrong. I need to do yoga." [DailyExpress]
• Katherine Heigl's husband, Josh Kelley shared his excitement about his new baby daughter, Naleigh, with a crowd at one of his concerts on Friday: "We adopted a baby from Korea, me and my girl, and she's awesome, dude! This girl is the bomb!" [People]
• Singer Lucinda Williams married her manager Tom Overby during a concert on Friday night. [USWeekly]
• "I am not a parasite, I am not a gold-digger. I've always just told wanted her for her love, not her money."-Blake Fielder-Civil on his ex-wife, Amy Winehouse [NewsoftheWorld]
• According to a source, Avril Lavigne and husband Deryck Whibley split because the couple "married too young and she finally realized that. Avril realized she needs her own life and needs to explore things without him." [People]
• Michael Jackson reportedly hated Pepsi, the soda he endorsed for many years. [ShowbizSpy]
• Michael Caine says he's no longer interested in leading roles: ""It's very tiring. As an actor you say, ‘I want a bigger part', but when you get to my age you look through the script to see how many days off you've got." [DailyExpress]
• Kanye West's ex-fiance, Alexis Phifer and his current girlfriend, Amber Rose showed up wearing similar outfits to US Weekly's "Most Stylish New Yorker" party and "kept throwing each other dirty looks all night." [PageSix]
• "I'm blessed. I have a beautiful mother and beautiful father so I guess you could say I'm blessed with good genes. It's important to have a certain look in the industry but I honestly tend to wake up and comb my hair with my hands."- Chace Crawford [ShowbizSpy]
• Monty Python stars John Cleese and Michael Palin are reportedly thinking about working together again. [DailyExpress]
• Being well-rounded is beautiful. You can't base beauty on one [characteristic], although having humility would be on the top of my list. And being kind. Kindness is so underrated! If I start to wallow in self-pity, I take someone to lunch or make someone laugh. Kindness is like no drug ever."- Kristen Bell [JustJared]
• Taylor Momsen apparently has a clause in her record contract that allows her to sing for free on the set of Gossip Girl and on the set of "Runaways Project," though Momsen has not yet been added to the cast of the upcoming Runaways film. [TMZ]
• Sissy Spacek will be joining the cast of HBO's Big Love as "a powerful Washington, D.C. lobbyist." [ONTD]
• "My Russian acting coach told me I was a disgrace to the Moscow Theatre. So I was determined to prove him wrong and do good work. I've never had my eye on a prize. I really wanted to enjoy the passage of time. Before Friends and the success of that I have a graveyard of sitcoms that, thank god, you don't know about. I was happy to get a job every year, whether it went on or not."-Jennifer Aniston [ShowbizSpy]

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

• An audience member says, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians... Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one." Too late Rosie! [Fox News]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce will be finalized by the end of the month. Also Hailey Glassman has agreed to do an interview with E!'s Giuliana Rancic on August 17 in a one-hour special at 7pm ET. She's going to stay away from the kids until the divorce is official, but then all bets are off. [Radar Online, Ok]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 had only 3.5 million viewers, down 4 million from the week before. [Us]
• Let's hope no one gets in Taylor Lautner's way! "I love that kid," says Kristen Stewart. "I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [People]
• Though it was reported that Jennie Garth, who is married to Twilight's Peter Facinelli said Robert Pattinson was either dating Kristen Stewart or Nikki Reed, rep says she actually said, "I can't say [who Rob's dating]. That will be breaking my promise to my husband. But I do know." [Radar Online]
• This morning on Today, Brad Pitt says he's seen the "Brad Pitt for mayor" shirts many New Orleans resident have been wearing, but he's not considering a run because, "I don't have a chance." [AP]
• Three sources say Dr. Conrad Murray left Michael Jackson alone after giving him propofol to make phone calls on the morning he died. He'd left him alone after giving him the drug before, but not monitoring MJ may legally meet the level of negligence required for an involuntary manslaughter charge. [L.A. Times]
• Michael Jackson and a man named Henry Vaccaro had been fighting over some of MJ's memorabilia, including 26 unreleased songs for years. When two of Jackson's lawyers went to retrieve eight of the items last month Vaccaro said they were missing, but the items were later auctioned off. Police are investigating. [TMZ]
• Motown founder Berry Gordon will write the introduction to the rerelease of Michael Jackson's memoir Moonwalk. [AP]
• Though Amy Winehouse was previously banned from entering the U.S. she still wants to do a tour and her spokesperson said that now, "There is nothing to stop her getting a visa to travel to America." [Contact Music]
• Patrick Swayze was recently hospitalized for a week, possibly because of intestinal bleeding, but he's home now. [Radar Online]
• Madonna is renovating her recently purchased New York townhouse and now huge dumpsters are blocking the entire road. [The Sun]
• If Philadelphia school officials approve, Tony Danza may co-teach 10th grade English at Northeast High School this fall for a reality TV show called Teach on A&E. [AP]
• Billy Mays' health insurance commercial for the iCAN benefit group has been pulled from the air. [TMZ]
• Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of her child. As for how she could have gotten pregnant she said, "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill. I've done that several times and never really thought about it…I know, it's stupid." When she told Disick, "He was like way more like excited than I was. Like he definitely wasn't as nervous and scared." But she's not sure if they'll get married. She says, "We've talked about it, but I feel like there's so much going on that I like can't even go there." [E!]
• Kourtney's mom Kris Jenner says, "I am beyond thrilled and excited and cannot wait to meet my new grandchild! We are truly blessed." [People]
• Sky Blu of the hip-hop group LMFAO has a crush on Khloe Kardashian. [E!]
• Though she initially didn't show much interest in Beatles Rock Band, which will be released in September, Yoko Oko visited Harmonix studios in Boston a few months ago. "She gave the designers hell," said a VP at the company. "We were like, ‘Oh, gee. Thanks'. It would have been nice to know that six months ago, but yes, ‘Thank you very much'." [Mirror]
• Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are going to guest star in an upcoming episode of Family Guy in which Brian becomes a Republican because he's upset he has nothing to complain about anymore with Barack Obama in the White House. [Politico]
• Toby Keith's new song and music video American Ride may become the theme for town hallers. It makes fun of global warming, terrorists, and illegal immigrants, and the video shows "President Bush in front of the White House giving Christian-right leader Pat Robertson a piggyback ride. Another shows bankers hoisting President Obama in a walk through a destroyed Wall Street district as dollars fall from the sky." Check it out here: [U.S. News & World Report]
• The Miss Universe Organization has releasing topless photos of outgoing Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, to Maxim for the September issue. While previously similar organizations have always condemned contestants for releasing such pictures (Mendoza's arm covers her breasts), a pageant official said, "She just loved the way they turned out and she really wanted to be able to share them. If she had taken these photos and sent them to a magazine, that would be a different issue. But she handled this so appropriately. She came to us and said, ‘I understand I'm Miss Universe and I have this title, but as Dayana Mendoza, I'd like to share these photos.'" [MSNBC]
• Jerry O'Connell has enrolled at Los Angeles' Southwestern Law School. When his wife Rebecca Romijn was asked why he enrolled there she said he was, "very impressed with the faculty and the vibe here. This is brand new to him as well. He's very much looking forward to his education." [Us]
• In the video at the link Jessica Capshaw of Grey's Anatomy explains that the next season will be "heavy." [E!]
• Reese Witherspoon, who is filming the baseball movie How Do You Know has just recovered from getting a black eye a few weeks ago, and now she has another one. [Daily Express]
• Abbie Cornish, who was accuse of breaking up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe's relationship says, "It was a really difficult time for me... It was just this world of tabloid magazines that I'd never been exposed to. In a normal successful career, someone usually learns these things bit by bit. For me, it was like night and day. I woke up one day and there was this whole new thing I had to process and deal with." [W]
• Mike Tyson has given his first interview since the accidental death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus. "I am working with dealing with it," he says. "I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckman's rep says, "there are no talks of her being a permanent judge [on American Idol]. They felt she was natural in Denver. [But] she has Fashion Week coming up, and she is focusing on that." [L.A. Times]
• Lily Allen has but a Breitling watch she bough for herself that's too big up for sale on Twitter for £3,200. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid, hanging out with Katie and Peter Andre's son. Both are topless for some reason. [Daily Mail]
• "I love England. It would be a wonderful life experience to have an excuse to work here for six or nine months..." says Quentin Tarantino. "I am a huge fan of Simon Pegg, so I would definitely love to work with him. I also think Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses that ever lived, so I would be honoured to work with her. I am also a huge admirer of Anthony Hopkins. I would also love to work with Michael Caine. I can see them appearing in my movies, it just has to be right." [Daily Express]
• Q: How does it feel to be the face of Twitter. Ashton Kutcher: "It feels like I should own some of it but unfortunately I don't. However one person does not make a community." [Time]
• Q: Does it bother you to be called Mr. Demi Moore? Ashton Kutcher: No. Why would it? People have called me much worse. [Time]
• Rachel McAdams says of playing a mother for the first time, "I was excited and nervous about it because I haven't done it before. It was a welcome challenge. The little girls [Hailey McCann and Tatum McCann] in this film were so fantastic. They are real sisters and they made my job really easy. So I didn't have to work too hard at that." [People]
• "I think Pete's really honest, and there's something to be said for that, on this show. He's honest even when it works against him. He can't help himself. He has to say the blatant thing. He's like that guy who meets someone and says, "Oh wow, you have a mole on your nose!" I like people like that. They're not ashamed to go up to a guy and be like, 'Hey, how'd you lose your arms?' Like, 'Come on, everyone else is wondering, I had to ask!' But then, the guy without the arms is probably so sick of answering that question! ... He's no Don Draper. Like you said, he's the biggest rube in the room. And he's the biggest buffoon in the room." — Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men [Salon]

In the episode, which FOX declined to air, Lois decides to act as a surrogate for an old friend. When the friend and her husband are killed in a car crash, she considers an abortion. In the clip above, Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane reads the role of Peter, who has decided he's anti-abortion after listening to some protesters outside a clinic. He says, "If God wanted us to kill babies, he'd make them all Chinese girls." Later, he argues that "to kill any living thing is an abortion, that's what the man I just met outside the clinic told me, and he had a t-shirt on to confirm it."

Peter Griffin is hardly a nuanced political commentator, and no regular Family Guy viewer would take his words seriously. At the same time, portraying anti-choice views in the most racist and ignorant language possible is hardly an "anti-abortion message" (we wonder who was the "company source" who told de Moraes this, and what ax he/she had to grind). It's also not that funny. The "Chinese girls" joke appears to get a big laugh at the table reading — maybe you had to be there. Peter's response to the question, "What if a woman is raped?" — "Maybe she should have thought about that before she asked me for directions" — is even less amusing. Then there's McFarlane's claim that another unaired episode reveals baby Stewie is gay:

we decided it's better to keep it vague, which makes more sense because he's a 1-year-old. Ultimately, Stewie will be gay or a very unhappy repressed heterosexual. It also explains why he's so hellbent on killing [his mother, Lois] and taking over the world: He has a lot of aggression, which comes from confusion and uncertainty about his orientation.

Gabe of Videogum responds,

the worst part about this whole thing is that since they canceled the episode in which Stewie "comes out," the only thing that actually makes him gay is Seth MacFarlane alone in the recording booth thinking "this is a gay person's voice." Hmmm, that might not actually be the worst part. The worst part might still be the sentence "it also explains why he's so hellbent on killing his mother and taking over the world."

In the interview above, McFarlane calls the abortion episode "edgy and controversial," and goes on to say that "Family Guy tends to be very liberal, because it's written by liberals" but that the creators were looking for ways to "give the other side some face time." The abortion episode doesn't really do that — but McFarlane's jokes about Chinese girls, and his assumption that gay men (or babies?) want to kill their mothers, don't make liberals look very good either.

'Family Guy' Abortion Episode Table Read (Video) [The Live Feed]
The Banned 'Family Guy' Episode [Daily Beast]
Stewie Is Gay, Says Awful, Awful Seth MacFarlane [Videogum]
'Family Guy's' Look At The Lighter Side Of Abortion [Washington Post]
Seth MacFarlane Outs Baby Stewie In 'Family Guy': He's Gay, MacFarlane Says In Playboy Interview [NY Daily News]

• Heidi Montag's Playboy shoot: Not that X-Rated. Sources say the mag had strict instructions when photographing her:

"No nipples, no vagina, no ass." Guess that's where she keeps her good Christian values? [TMZ]

• Madonna has signed on to appear as a mentor in the new season of UK reality show X Factor. Also guest starring: Robbie Williams, Whitney Houston and Rihanna. [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson is dating Alex Rodriguez and Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly is dating A-Rod rival Derek Jeter. Word is: "Things between the two photogenic actresses are frostier than the new stadium's $9 beer." [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley: Double-dating, chain smoking, tickling. [Page Six]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy's Stewie is gay. "We had an episode that went all the way to the script phase in which Stewie does come out. It had to do with the harassment he took from other kids at school. He ends up going back in time to prevent a passage in Leviticus from being written: 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is an abomination.' But we decided it's better to keep it vague, which makes more sense because he's a 1-year-old. Ultimately, Stewie will be gay or a very unhappy repressed heterosexual. It also explains why he's so hellbent on killing [his mother, Lois] and taking over the world: He has a lot of aggression, which comes from confusion and uncertainty about his orientation." [Gatecrasher]
• When Kourtney Kardashian says she is "so shocked" by her pregnancy, you've got to wonder what she means: She knows how to get knocked up, right? Anyways, she says: We were in the Everglades and I kept feeling nauseous and sick. I just kept thinking something wasn't right. I went to the doctor and he confirmed the news. I was just so shocked." Kourtney has not revealed who impregnated her, but in the past she was linked to skateboarder Scott Disick, whose website notes: "As for girls, he was known as being able to manipulate them into anything." [People]
• Anna Faris and Chris Pratt: Married. And it happened it Bali on July 9. As you'll recall, they were seen on what was thought to be a wedding trip in Hawaii in late July, then her rep said it wasn't true that they'd gotten hitched in Hawaii. Which wasn't exactly a lie. [People]
• Kate Gosselin on Jon Gosselin's relationship(s): "It is hurtful. Very hurtful. To be very honest, the most hurtful part is when his decisions directly affect our children. That's the hardest part for me." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" will be remade with John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston, Usher, Dionne Warwick, Wyclef and Jermaine Jackson. Larry King's wife Shawn is spearheading the tribute, which will either be awesome or awful. [TMZ]
• …And Shawn King has just pulled out of a duet with Jermaine Jackson she was supposed to do in Vienna. [Page Six]
• Jennie Garth basically confirms that Robert Pattinson is dating Kristen Stewart by saying, "I can't say [which New Moon costar] …but he is dating one of them!" Oh man, it's Buff Werewolf, isn't it? Remember when they held hands? [Gatecrasher]
• "David Beckham disappoints Chelsea and Tottenham by insisting AC Milan is most likely destination for England star." [Daily Mail]
• "Beckhams set to swap LA for Italy?" [Mirror]
• Is Denzel Washington — like so many other Hollywood types — looking to make a living in TV? He's considering an executive producer role on a cop drama called Billy Stiles, written by Virgil Williams, who has penned scripts for 24 and ER. [Reuters]
• Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett: Expecting a boy.
  "Whether this little guy is a jock or not, he's definitely going to be a mama's boy," Kendra says. "And there's no doubt he's gonna be a handsome one … just look at his dad!" [People]
• Rebecca Romijn is giving husband Jerry O'Connell diaper duty while she works on new show Eastwick. This column calls him Mr. Mom, but shouldn't it just be "Dad"? [People]
• Glenn Close used to be in Up With People?!?!? [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas has released a statement regarding his son, Cameron, being busted for meth and thrown in jail for heroin: "The family is devastated and very disappointed in Cameron's recent behavior. Any family who has dealt with substance abuse knows how devastating it can be." [People, NY Daily News]
• "A New York City judge says a jury can decide whether the author of a best-selling book about the death of Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith defamed her lawyer by calling him a pimp." [USA Today]
• "Anna Nicole Smith pal Howard K. Stern wins OK to sue writer for libel over gay sex video tale" [NY Daily News]
• Mickey Rourke is not impressed when you "make it rain" in the club. [Page Six]
• "Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt are ready to take on Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell for the title of Longest Dating (and Unmarried) Couple." [Gatecrasher]
• Acting legend Charles Dance, whom you may have seen in Gosford Park, says Paris Hilton's British Best Friend series is "a show for airheads, starring an airhead." Her show is bumping his university drama, Trinity. [The Sun]
• Paul Giamatti will replace Sean Penn as Larry in the Three Stooges movie. Benecio Del Toro will play Moe, and Curly has yet to be cast. [NY Daily News]
• Kim Basinger may play Zac Efron's mom in The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud, a flick about a grieving family. [Variety]
• Bachelorette Jillian Harris stands by Ed Swiderski, but other continue to women talk about how shady he is, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Blind item! "Which scorned reality star is in talks with a major R&B singer to have a faux relationship - just to improve her image?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Today some people in traffic tried to sell me a baby. A live human baby. I didn't know what to say. I said a little prayer for the kid. Wow. It all happend so fast. I was trying to figure out if they were serious, and i think when my reaction was not a good one, they just took off. I mean look. Chances are they were joking. The scary part is i really couldn't tell. Maybe i'm just one gullable fool (sic)." — Joel Madden, via Twitter. [News.com.au]
• "Ran into the people that tried to sell me their baby today on melrose.Told me to tell you all they were joking. I thought 10k was a bit high." — Joel Madden. [Twitter]
• "I learned 30 pages of dialogue in German and English and went to the audition dressed like the character. I killed it. I did everything except sleep with the director to get that part" — Diane Kruger, to Playboy on landing her role in Inglourious Basterds. [Page Six]
• "I got stuck being searched in Toronto, and she waited for me. I totally wasn't expecting to see her when I got through my Toronto search, and she was there, patiently waiting. Some people wouldn't have waited. That's all I'm saying." —Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife costar Rachel McAdams. [USA Today]
• "What was I gonna do? I was worried about you. What if you'd been sent to jail or something and I had to alert the studio?" — Rachel McAdams to Eric Bana. [USA Today]
• "You know, in the old days it was very difficult to make movies 'cause you had to have 35 millimeter cameras, which were phenomenally expensive. Or you had to have rich parents that could send you to film school. Nowadays, anybody, any kid or young person with a desire to make films ... (has) access to this equipment. You have great video cameras and the quality's fantastic. You can make soundtracks and do visual effects. You can do very competent computer effects quite easily. There are no excuses anymore. If people really want to make movies, they can go out and do it. And I think we're going see in the next 20 or 30 years a real influx of creativity to the world of entertainment because I believe a lot in the young generation coming along ... the pop culture generation who now can grab these cameras and go make films with them." — director Peter Jackson. [Reuters]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven." — Matt Damon, on gaining weight for his role in The Informant. [Gatecrasher]

Surely the episode will fit right into the other hilarious takes on women that Family Guy is so fond of, like, say, rape jokes, or shooting prostitutes as a form of "community service," or punching them in the face as they cry, "I don't understand! What did I do wrong?" You know, really hilarious stuff.

We can also look forward to this gem, a Meg-Goes-To-Prison plot line, as described by the LATimes: "In their introductions, a few plotlines were announced for the coming season. Brian, driving while drunk, hits a(nother) dog. Peter has an affair with a cardboard cutout of Kathy Ireland. Meg goes to prison and comes back a bit tougher. The crew's dark humor on display, Borstein belts out, 'A little bit raped?' Kunis counters by saying it's OK because 'she liked it.'" Prison rape jokes! The stuff Emmy Nominated comedies are made of, right folks?

The Emmy Nominated Family Guy And The Abortion Episode You Won't See[LATimes]
What's With Family Guy's Rape Jokes? [Feministing]
Stewie Shoots Hooker [Metacafe]
Lucky There's A Family Guy? [Hear Me Roar]

• If you get an email titled, "Madonna caught swine flu!" don't open it. The only thing that will be infected is your computer. [The Sun]

• The same does not go for Pete Doherty, who was pictured online hugging one of the first UK victims of the swine flu. Though the picture is old, "Pete's friends are worried he may have the deadly illness. He has got himself clean of drugs, the last thing he needs is this," says a source. [ONTD]
• Not even the swine flu can stop Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who are honeymooning in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. [People]
• Heidi Montag says, "every second we're washing our hands," and Spencer Pratt says they are "wearing face masks everywhere we go. We're in isolation, we're in full hiding." Sounds romantic! [People]
• Oh no. Heidi Montag's wedding gift to Spencer Pratt was a new song called "Sex Ed." Listen here, if you must: [Perez Hilton]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly expecting twin girls via a surrogate. Reports EW: "They had a lot of unsuccessful tries," says the friend. "They came to the conclusion that this was going to be the best alternative for expanding their family." The couple turned to a surrogate — whose name and place of residence have not been disclosed — last year. "They're over the moon and excited as any prospective parents would be," says the friend. "Their life is about to get a lot busier." [EW]
• Madonna's rep is denying that she asked her designer friends to hire Jesus Luz to keep him in the U.S., saying, "Madonna has not been involved with any bookings Jesus has gotten. They were arranged through his agents." [The Daily Express]
• Ricky Schroeder won a Malibu small claims court case against a woman who accused him of conspiring with her ex to steal thousands of dollars in tools. While he was leaving the court house in victory, he was pulled over by the police for talking on his cell phone. [TMZ]
• A guy grabbed Paris Hilton's boobs in a Hollywood club. Her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, got into a fist fight with the boob grabber. The DJ thought it would be funny to play her song "Stars Are Blind" and Paris danced about during the fight. [Perez Hilton]
• In light of Hulk Hogan's pro-O.J. Simpson comments, Linda Hogan has filed papers claiming she needs another $8,200 a month in support payments so she can move "thousands of miles away" from him because she feels she's in "imminent danger of becoming a victim." [TMZ]
• There should be a decision soon in Britney Spears' attempt to extend her restraining order against Sam Lutfi and Jon Eardley. During today's hearing her lawyer called both men "cowards" for not showing up for cross-examination. [TMZ]
• Paul McCartney sent Pamela Anderson a two-page "letter regarding livestock and greenhouse gases" calling on Pam to help spread the word about vegetarianism. You can read the letter at the link. [The Sun]
• Ricki Lake says childbirth helped her overcome her issues related to being sexually abused when she was about six or seven. "I was able to look at my body and see what it was able to do and embrace it," says Lake. "Sort of let go of all the body image issues." [People]
• A spokesmen for the Miss California pageant is denying Carrie Prejean's claim that pageant officials told her to apologize for her statement opposing same-sex marriage during the Miss USA pageant when giving TV interviews. The spokesmen added, "Given the fact that Carrie Prejean's first act upon returning to California was to headline five services at a church that promotes homosexuality as both unnatural and abnormal, we stand by our concern for her individual image and look forward to a time in the near future when she can put down her personal agenda" and resume her responsibilities as Miss California. [Sacramento Bee]
• A Las Vegas judge has ordered Dennis Rodman to pay a former waitress $225,000 for slapping her butt, grabbing her, and forcing her to dance with him at a Vegas bar in 2006. [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman says he considered quitting the X-Men movies because "It felt like Wolverine had got a little soft by X-Men 3 and I wanted to take it back to that bad ass quality. He's tough, he's gruff, he's not politically correct - he doesn't say the right things." He adds, "He's a flawed character. That's what I like about it, that's why I'm doing it for the fourth time or else I wouldn't." [The Daily Express]
• Avril Lavigne has been selected to be the Canadian Ambassador for 2010 World Expo in Shanghai, China. Lavigne, who is popular is Asia and has performed parts of her songs in Mandarin, blogged, "I've played two shows in Shanghai. It's a great city and I look forward to visiting again next year." [The Daily Express]
• Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz, who is pregnant with her first child, said, "Before I found out I was having a girl I dreamt that I was having a girl, I even dreamt what her name was, so I guess that name should be her real name." As for the name, she joked, "It's going to be Watermelon." [People]
• Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner are dating. They had dinner this weekend in Vancouver, where they are both filming movies. [People]
• Peter Facinelli, who plays Twilight's father figure Dr. Carlisle Cullen, says, "I love night shoots. Everybody else is [tired] by like two, three in the morning, which is weird because I'm the old guy!" [People]
• Here's Katy Perry's new video for "Waking Up In Vegas": [Perez HIlton]
• Russell Brand will star in a remake of Drop Dead Fred. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Last night James Lipton sat down with Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane for the next season of Inside the Actor's Studio. Lipton said he's a fan of the show because, "Well, inevitably, I'm attracted to anybody who likes stage musicals, having written two myself. What really has always drawn me to Family Guy is its irreverence, its cutting edge, its willingness to take chances. And I like risk. My two sports, show jumping and flying airplanes, in either case, the cost of a mistake can be rather large. So risk has been the nature of my life, I think. That's what I like about their show." [NY Times]
• Jessica Alba celebrated her 28th birthday on Sunday with an '80s party at her home with 50 friends, including Sarah Silverman and Rosario Dawson. [People]
• Here's the cover of Vibe's "Real Rap" issue, featuring Eminem: [The Life Files]
• Though the media has been claiming Mel Gibson is worth $900,000,000, he says he actually has no idea how much money he has. His divorce lawyers and accountants are trying to figure it out. [TMZ]
• When Eric Bana first arrived in America in the early 1990s he went on a road trip, but ran out of money and started living out of his car. One time he tried to take a shower in a gas station bathroom and got arrested. He says, "I slept in the car a lot. I wanted to experience everything the county had to offer... I got done (arrested) for taking a shower in the gas station. I just got under it (the facet) and turned it on. I was not naked. I had my jocks (underwear) on. I was able to wash my hair."[Contact Music]
• Andy Roddick writes on his blog that having Elton John play at his recent wedding "was very, very surreal," adding, "It was beyond awesome of him to make time for us and needless to say it was beyond amazing." [People]
• Jennifer Garner says it's hard to be a mom to two young children while she's on set. She says: "[I] feel like half my brain is somewhere else all the time, but when the camera's rolling, I pull it together and focus for two minutes," she says, "and then I kind of turn back to a ditz again. I have a split personality." [People]
• OMG! Gossip Girl's ratings are down 26% from last year. However, it had already been renewed for a third season, so it's not in immediate danger. [Perez Hilton]
• In a lengthy and mostly boring interview, Ed Westwick discusses his tattoos. "I've got '21 Grams,' 'Love Me Two Times,' the song by The Doors. I have 'I Heart Romance' on my forearm and 'You Make Me Feel Like the One' across my shoulder," says Westwick, adding that he got his "I Heart Romance," tattoo because, "I saw it in a bathroom stall in a bar in Brooklyn. I thought it was cool, so I got it." [Interview]
• Last night Tom Hanks was presented with the Chaplin Award at the Film Society of Lincoln Center Gala Tribute. For her tribute, Julia Robert's said, "It's late, and I'm paying my babysitter overtime, and I have to pee," telling Hanks, "So, everybody fucking likes you." She added, "That movie about you and the airport and the accent was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, but I didn't know … and I'm wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist." [People]

• Nadya Suleman was on Dr. Phil's show yesterday via telephone, talking about why she fired her baby nurses:

"Myself and my nannies felt extremely uncomfortable. I personally felt like a stranger in my own home. I felt as though every time I tried to hold the babies, feed the babies, they would be observing and they were waiting for me to make a mistake." Hmm. Probably true. [E!]

• Rihanna and Chris Brown are indeed "taking a break." "Jay-Z told Rihanna she needs to cut things out with Chris, at least in public," says an unnamed source. Yes! Good idea! [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]
• Chris Brown was supposed to have a "private court meeting" Monday, but it was canceled. [E!]
• Kate Moss went to an East London tattoo parlor and got a bunch of piercings in her ear; she now has six holes in one lobe. Newsy! [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Aniston's hoodie is out-of-control, but an effective way to keep your face out of the paper. [Daily Mail]
• What do we think about Julianne Moore playing Hillary Clinton in a new flick? She doesn't really look like HRC, but JM can pull off anything. [NY Daily News]
• Sparkly vampire down! Robert Pattinson was smacked in the head by a sign on the set of New Moon. [Socialite Life]
• This story about Bruce Willis hand-picking his new wife at a casting call ignores the fact that the woman has emotions and thoughts of her own. She didn't have to go out with him. [Page Six]
• Coco Arquette, 4, daughter of David Arquette and Courteney Cox, is considereing modeling. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Hudson is scheduled to tape her American Idol performance today; the appearance will air on an upcoming ep. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Prince Harry went to some kind of "rave for posh people" wearing pink nail polish and a black wig. While there, he chatted up his ex, Chelsy Davy. Reunited and it fees so good? [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker's stunt double, and that stunt double's underwear. [Daily Mail]
• Cops say that three-car-crash involvng T.R. Knight was caused by T.R. Knight. [E!]
• Juicy and delicious: The feud between Antony Bourdain and Rachael Ray has been taken down to a simmer, now that Bourdain found out RR likes the New York Dolls. We writes: "I don't know whether to go out and shoot a puppy, or send Rachael a fruit basket." [Gatecrasher]
• Gloria Vanderbilt, aka Anderson Cooper's mother, has an erotic novel called Obsession. Awesome or awful? [EW]
• Freida Pinto's been cast in a Julian Schnabel film; she's also shooting a Woody Allen flick in the summer. [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz has been cast in Swingles, a romcom with "a 21st century When Harry Met Sally vibe." Here's a guess: She'll be goofy and giggly, and dance. [Hollywood Reporter]
• U2's massive new stage setup is something called "The Claw." It looks like an alien invasion, but it's supposed to bring the band closer to the crowd. [Rolling Stone]
• Flight Of The Conchords: The Movie? Maybe! [Mirror]
• Veronica Mars movie? Nope. [NY Mag]
• Josh Schwartz, the dude behind Gossip Girl, Chuck and The OC, has a new web series called Rockville CA: Two hipsters spend their nights at an LA rock club; each ep features performances by up and coming bands. [USA Today]
• Denise Richards got the boot on Dancing With The Stars. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Josh Groban's rep wants you to know that Josh and Katy Perry are friends but not, repeat, NOT a couple. [People]
• Star Jones has a new blog, in case you're dying to know about the scar on her chest or her thyroid. [E!]
• The rumor about Parks and Recreation being meh could be circulating because gossip columnist Nikki Finke hates NBC's Ben Silverman. [NY Mag]
• Michael Jackson would like to enter his London concerts riding an elephant, thank you very much. [Mirror]
• "Jade Goody and Princess Diana had so much in common." Pardon? [Daily Mail]
• Finish your Kirk chairs: Sunday's episode of Family Guy reunites the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. [e!]
• Fred Astaire: Secretly racist? Sigh. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hot actor is clueless about his GF's cocaine addiction? His lady waits until he's off promoting a film before throwing wild drug bashes at their home." [Gaetcrasher]
• "He is hilarious to me. I just got it. Every time I drove to record his voice, I was excited about coming up with this funny stuff to say. I felt like I accomplished something, making a movie kids like that is as hilarious as anything that is out there. [But] I did a meet-and-greet with kids after the premiere in Australia. I realized kids just don't like Seth Rogen. I scare the (bleep) out of them. Maybe it's my laugh or that I'm a big, hairy guy. They just don't like me." — Seth Rogen, on playing B.O.B. in Monsters Vs. Aliens. [USA Today]
• "He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy." — an insider on New Moon actor Robert Pattinson. [Perez]

• Matt Lauer flipped over the handlebars of his bicycle this weekend when a deer ran in front of him. Meredith Viera thought this was hilarious, but Lauer needs surgery for a separated shoulder. [Entertainment Tonight]

• Matt Lauer wasn't on the Today show this morning and co-anchor Meredith Viera said Matt "thinks the deer was hired by the competition." She added, "I hired the deer, but I said, 'Just graze him.' " [People]
• Lance Armstrong suffered a broken collarbone after falling during the first stage of a five-day race in Spain. He's returning to the U.S. so doctors can determine whether he needs further surgery. "I'm miserable. I just need to relax a couple of days and then make a plan," he says. [CNN]
• David Letterman and longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko have gotten married. They have one son together and have been dating for 10 years. [Us]
• Tyrese Gibson is defending Chris Brown again. He says: "Although he appears to be really strong through all of this, it's really taking a toll on his spirit," said Gibson. "People like me and Puff, we're just trying to show him love and keep his spirits up while he's going through all of the heat, and there are a lot people doing the same for Rihanna ... It's really hard for him to focus right now on his music, even though he really wants to ... At the end of the day, I'm not trying to justify it because wrong is wrong, but unfortunately, us as entertainers, we have to grow up on stage with a lot of people looking at us. And a lot of people forget that he's 19, she's only 21." [People]
• Today LeAnn Rimes was pictured kissing her husband, Dean Sheremet, though it was reported last week that she is cheating on him and he is gay. [TMZ]
• Northern Lights, the TV movie LeAnn Rimes starred in with her alleged lover, Eddie Cibrian, was the highest rated Lifetime movie this year. Was it all a publicity stunt? [Perez Hilton]
• M.I.A. complained on her blog that people were saying her babies name is Ickitt. Now the baby's brith certificate reveals it's actually Ikhyd. [TMZ]
• In honor of Bruce Willis' wedding, Ashton Kutcher has Twittered some of his advice on marriage. He writes: "For me it's about relearning that supporting my wife isn't about providing $ and Home, it's about supporting her desires, needs and emotions." Kutcher added: "Greatest lesson in my marriage. Don't try to solve her problems, just listen, love and be supportive. This is the opposite of male nature." [Yahoo]
• Leanne Marshall, says of her former Project Runway co-star's (Kenley Collins) cat throwing, "This should put a clear answer to the question I am most frequently asked, 'Was Kenley really that awful, or was she just edited like that?' " She says: "When she got angry, I knew to keep my distance. Clearly, she needs therapy." [ONTD]
• Jackie Chan is giving up kung fu movies. He says he doesn't like the Rush Hour films, but "they're paying us really well." He says now he "would love to be the Asian Robert De Niro or Dustin Hoffman." [The Mirror]
• Roseanne may be headed back to TV. The show, a family comedy in which Roseanne would play the lead role, has already been pitched to FOX. [Perez Hilton]
• In this riveting video, Hugh Jackman does a bad job parallel parking his car. [TMZ]
• The psychiatrist who allegedly gave Anna Nicole Smith illegal drugs is now involved in her own scandal. Photos of Dr. Khristine Eroshevich snorting what looks like cocaine have surfaced online. [Star]
• Vanessa Regrave, mother of Natasha Richardson, has postponed her performance of The Year of Magical Thinking which was set to start in New York on April 27. [Yahoo]
• With everything the censors do allow on Family Guy it's a little surprising they cut this song, in which Stewie violently kills people who annoy him such as the cast of Entourage and "the girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in Caddyshack. [Entertainment Weekly]
• What is it with these kids? Photos of Joe Jonas pulling his eyes to make fun of Asian features recently surfaced, but while Miley Cyrus immediately apologized about her racists photos, Jonas hasn't said anything. [Socialite Life]
• TMZ doesn't approve of Mischa Barton smoking on the way to the gym. [TMZ]
• Zac Efron won't be kicking off his Sunday shoes. He's pulled out of a remake of the movie Footloose. [NY Magazine]
• Robin Williams' heart surgery was successful and he is currently recovering at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. "Mr. Williams' operation went extremely well and we expect him to make a full recovery," said the hospital's cardiothoracic surgeon A. Marc Gillinov. "A couple of hours after surgery, he was entertaining the medical team and making us all laugh." [E!]
• Mariska Hargitay is returning to work on Law and Order: SVU this week after being treated for a collapsed lung. [ONTD]
• A Steve McQueen biopic is in the works. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Chad Michael Murray told a fan he's getting kicked off One Tree Hill because The CW "wants to save money." He encouraged fans to "start blogging and being pissed off." [The Superficial]
• Ciara is rather flexible in the new video for her song "Love Sex Magic" featuring Justin Timberlake. [Pop Sugar]
• The man who rented the house where the season finale of The Hills was filmed is suing producers because he claims they cause $158,250.07 worth of property damage. [ONTD]
• In this then and now feature, we get to see what the cat who played Mr. Bigglesworth in Austin Powers looks like today. [People]
• Kanye West is on the cover of Complex, though it's a little hard to tell it's him because he was photographed with the same technology used to age Benjamin Button. Kanye is also surprisingly humble. He says: "I would never spaz on MTV the way I did before. I feel like there are people who have given a lot to me and I wasn't appreciative of them. MTV had a major part in making me, so how the hell could I ever come out of my mouth and dis them and just be like the cry-baby-ass bitch over one performance? How the hell is a 29-year-old grown ass man acting like a little bitch and getting all emotional? How spoiled can I get?" Kanye explains that he only acts like an arrogant jerk because, "I'm here to entertain people and to be the one that does the crazy, bold stuff so they can live through me and get their mind off the recession and the war and whatever else is going on in the world." [E!]
• "I always thought I'd be a really good gay guy. I love American Idol. I watch Antiques Roadshowlike crazy. Guys like Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry, Elton John – they're all very bright, with a razor-sharp wit. David Sedaris – who's funnier than David Sedaris? The Saturday Night Livethat I hosted was such a gay-heavy show. But it didn't even cross my mind until after. The family that kept kissing each other – I didn't even think of that as being gay... I remember doing interviews for The Object of My Affection, and people would say, 'What was it like to kiss a guy?' Like it was such a shocking thing. I said, How many times does anyone ask, 'You had to shoot somebody. Was that weird?' I love gay guys. I feel pretty gay. I'm certainly not the most macho guy in the room." - Paul Rudd [World of Wonder]

• A source says Lindsay Lohan is temporarily staying in a "therapeutic environment" organized by Stephen and Daniel Baldwin. Lindsay's rep says she's not in rehab. [Fox News]

• Natasha Richardson's death has been ruled an accident following an autopsy. The cause of death is "epidural hematoma due to blunt impact to the head." [TMZ]
• Madonna has dumped Jesus Luz, or as this paper puts it, "Baby Jesus is dead just in time for Easter." [The Daily Star]
• Bruce Willis will marry his girlfriend, model Emma Heming, this weekend in Turks & Caicos, where Bruce owns a home. [People]
• Justin Timberlake is launching a brand of tequila called 901 for the Memphis area code. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Michael Jackson is releasing an album to coincide with his comeback concerts this summer, and it's rumored that he wants to collaborate with Justin Timberlake, Rihanna, will.i.am, and Ne-Yo. Kanye West submitted tracks for MJ to consider. [ONTD]
• Dita Von Teese says that her ex-husband, Marilyn Manson, regularly calls her to apologize for ending their marriage, but she wants non of it. She says: "He has been in touch a little. The apologies come, and he was like, 'I made a big mistake.' And I'm like, 'Yeah, yeah, I know. Go ahead and say what you need to say to feel better and to sleep at night.' Right now I've got three (men). They're all in different parts of the world... That's my biggest sin - juggling men." [ONTD]
• Britney Spears is engaged in a super-sexy catfight with Fox News! In the music video for "If You Seek Amy" Britney takes a shot at Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly. In this video, Kelly invites Britney to come on her show and have it out, then makes the cat claws motion and meows. [E!]
• We've already seen the stills, but now Us has released video evidence of LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian's affair. They are shown kissing, holding hands and sucking on each other's fingers. [Us]
• Flight of the Conchords co-star Bret McKenzie has married girlfriend Hannah Clarke. They began dating in college and are expecting a child. [Stuff.co.nz]
• Mandy Moore was spotted wearing her wedding ring in public for the first time. [Pop Sugar]
• New Jersey Bruce Springsteen fans who say Ticketmaster cheated them are getting another chance at concert tickets. Ticketmaster is holding an drawing for 1,800 people for tickets to two May concerts. [Yahoo]
• Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is tired of people saying she's not a real blonde so she posted blonde baby photos on her website. [ONTD]
• Salma Hayek has been developing a line of cosmetics. "I'm trying to develop a line with a drugstore so that it is affordable for everyone," says Hayek. "We've researched for two to three years. My grandmother was a cosmetologist and she used to make her own creams, but my whole approach is how can we get the essence of the really expensive ones, but for everyone to be able to afford." [ONTD]
• In this revealing interview Paul Rudd and Jason Segal make fart noises for three minutes and Rudd laughs so hard he cries. [Best Week Ever]
• Journalists Laura Ling (Lisa Ling's sister) and Euna Lee have been detained on the China/South Korea border because they refused to stop filming when asked to. [Perez Hilton]
• Joaquin Phoenix has added a new prop to his elaborate performance piece: He's now wearing an Ez-Comb. [Best Week Ever]
• Mark Whalberg and his girlfriend Rhea Durham just had their third baby in September and now they've announced that they're expecting a fourth child. [D Listed]
• Cartoon character Stewie Griffin of Family Guy is going to guest star on live action show Bones. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Not-so-nice guy Tom Hanks is pictured here flipping off the paparazzi. [TMZ]
• Golf pro Annika Sorenstam is expecting her first child. [People]
• 50 Cent will be replacing Forest Whitaker in the upcoming Sylvester Stallone film The Expendables. [ONTD]
• According to the National Enquirer Jessica Simpson's dad Joe Simpson is no longer a Tony Romo fan. He thinks that Tony is too much of a distraction and blames him for Jessica's recent career troubles. [ONTD]
• Simon and Garfunkel are reuniting for a spring tour of Asia and Australia. [CNN]
• Lady Gaga had a nipple slip while signing autographs in Portland. [Socialite Life]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are clearly not concerned about the economy. They have made an offer on the $125 million Fleur de Lys, the most expensive estate currently on sale in the world. [World Of Wonder]
• Ted Haggard and his wife are going to appear on Divorce Court but they're not getting a divorce. They just want to let us know how strong their marriage is. [NY Magazine]
• Meryl Streep says of friend Natasha Richardson: "Tash was the warm sun in the center of a large constellation of family, friends, all of those lucky enough to know her - she is irreplaceable in our lives; she gave us so much, so generously - her legacy is the love that connects us all." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Helen Mirren says of former co-star Natasha Richardson: "Natasha was a great actress, a fantastic mother, a loving wife and a whirlwind of energy, with an infectious love of life expressed firstly by her wonderful deep laugh. Anyone who knew her will be in mourning today. I hope that Liam and her sons are helped in their pain by the great love and sympathy that is coming to them from people all over the world." [Extra]

• Miley Cyrus might make you want to puke: Hannah Montana Chocolate Granola Bars have been recalled due to suspected salmonella contamination. [Perez]

• Natasha Richardson suffered a serious head injury in a ski accident and has been hospitalized in Montreal. Husband Liam Neeson has rushed to her side. [People]
• Oh, no: Natasha Richardson is in critical condition. As you may know, she is the eldest daughter of Vanessa Redgrave; her sister Joely Richardson is also an actress, best known for Nip/Tuck. Natasha Richardson has been in A Month in the Country, Nell, The Parent Trap and Maid in Manhattan. [Yahoo News via AP]
• DJ AM is seeking $10 million in medical costs, lost earnings and damages, plus $10 million for mental and physical pain after the September plane crash in which he and Travis Barker were the only survivors. [People]
• Psychiatrist Khristine Eroshevich turned herself in to police Monday, facing charges of excessively prescribing drugs to Anna Nicole Smith. she's out on bail. [AP]
• Fox's Roger Friedman on Julia Roberts: "She was rude, downright nasty, and dismissive. She snubbed me in front of other people to make her point… Her behavior was unexpected and chilling." Apparently she knows Friedman as "the man who writes bad things about me." [Fox 411 ]
• Mickey Rourke is in a Russian prison… Doing research for his Iron Man role. [Daily Mail]
• If you didn't get a chance to audition for ANTM because of the stampede in NYC on Saturday, don't fret! Tyra says: "We are doing everything we can to make sure that ALL the girls who weren't seen get an opportunity to audition — we'll update you on our plans very soon." Sorta hoping they call it America's Next Top Model Who Can't Reach The Top Shelf. [US Magazine]
• Amy Winehouse is planning a "heart-to-heart" with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. Her dad says: "I want her to get divorced." Tell us how you really feel! [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse's dad also says: "Amy wants to resolve the situation. She's guilty of loving him, stupid girl." That's her own father, calling her stupid. [The Sun]
• Since Amy Winehouse has visa issues which ban her from coming to the U.S., she is headed back to the Caribbean. She'll headline the 18th Annual St. Lucia Jazz festival in May. The Minister of Tourism is thrilled and says "She's welcome to stay as long as she wants to." [Yahoo News via E!]
• But uh, Amy Winehouse is still facing an assault charge from back in September, so she needs to deal with that first. [Mirror]
• The Daily (Hate) Mail has printed pictures of Jesus Luz's ex-girlfriends and pointed out that they are "younger and prettier" than Madonna. Rude! [Daily Mail]
• By the by, Guy Ritchie had dinner with Elle Macpherson. [Daily Mail]
• Here is a photograph of Prince William helping out in a kitchen at a homeless charity, "following in his mother's footsteps." He looks genuinely happy. [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen was asked who would win in a battle of wits: Himself or Julia Roberts? "She would, because she's very smart," he said. She agreed: "I would. It's just me," Julia said. "I have my tricks." [USA Today]
• There's a naked Lithuanian model on top of Zac Efron in the new Interview magazine, FYI. Zac and the young lady rolled around in dirt for the photo shoot and Zac says, without irony: "I got pretty dirty by the end of it, so that was fun. It was definitely different from anything I had ever done before." [Just Jared]
• Cops are going to interview Calum Best after a woman claims she was raped by his friend while he slept just a few feet away. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger directed two music videos before his death; one for Modest Mouse and one for Grace Woodroofe. Both will be released this year. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Steve-O is the latest contestant to be injured on Dancing With The Stars. Does the show pay medical bills? [UPI]
• Portia de Rossi is still not pregnant, and not trying, despite what the weeklies are saying. [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen tricked the Alabama National Guard into giving him a military uniform and letting him train — possibly for a scene for Bruno. A young cadet recognized him — maybe when he exposed his thong while changing — and alerted superiors. A staff sergeant is calling the incident an "embarrassment," but it sound like a security risk. [AP]
• Carson Daly's girlfriend Siri Pinter has given birth to their son, Jackson James Daly. [UPI]
• Guy Ritchie will direct a remake of The Wild Geese, "with a budget that will buy him some real star names." The original flick had Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Roger Moore; who will be the new trio? [Telegraph]
• Will Matt Damon be Jason Bourne again? Signs point to yes. [Guardian]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are both playing spies, but in different films. [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B, is producing a flick based on John Le Carré's book The Night Manager. [Variety]
• Alex Rodriguez is seen kissing himself in a mirror in the new issue of Details. [NY Post]
• Jon Stewart's brother — who is head of US Markets & Global Technology at NYSE Euronext — helped him kick Jim Cramer's ass. [Page Six]
• No one is watching Kings or Celebrity Apprentice. [AdAge]
• Creators of Family Guy won a lawsuit which made it okay to turn the song "When You Wish Upon A Star into "I Need A Jew." [Reuters]
• It's tough to believe that villagers are living in fear of Pete Doherty moving to their town, but that is the headline here. [The Sun]
• There seem to be "two strapping young lads locking lips" on the cover of Bob Dylan's new album. This paper calls the photo "controversial." A commenter writes, "ha ha ha whats the issue?" [The Sun]
• Speaking of Bob Dylan, "Malibu residents say wind-borne odors from a portable toilet at the singer's compound are making them ill." [LA Times]
• Tons of Elvis stuff has gone up in an online auction — bids as low as ten bucks! [Reuters]
• "Tori is my daughter, and I love her. I wish her all the best with the publication of her new book… I never read her first one because my friends and family advised me against it. They said it would hurt my feelings, so I decided to pass. I won't read her new one either." — Candy Spelling, who moved the publication date of her book up two weeks so that it wouldn't hit stores on the same date as Tori's new book. [Us Magazine]
• "She's a little dictator. Definitely the most colorful person I've ever met. I feel so connected to her, but at the same time, we are completely different. I discover something new about her every day." — Salma Hayek, on her daughter, Valentina. [Mirror]
• "It's so sad that there's such an invasion of privacy, with camera people, cops and paparazzi outside their home. I mean, when have you not thrown something when you're mad? Everyone has to admit that at one time in their life, they've gotten so mad that they've thrown something, but maybe not necessarily breaking a window. Can't people have an argument without everyone watching? Just because she had an argument, I don't think it means that she's off track and that everything is crazy. It's really just messed up that everyone blames her. I think everyone needs to let her breathe." — Kim Kardashian on Lindsay Lohan. [People]

• A picture of Zach Braff smoking weed has surfaced. He's the next Michael Phelps! (Except for like, all the medals.) [Perez Hilton]

• Speaking of Michael Phelps, Kelloggs has dumped 2 tons of cereal with boxes featuring Phelps at the San Francisco Food Bank. [Perez Hilton]
• There's reportedly friction between Rihanna's people and Chris Brown's people. Chris's handlers are desperate to put out a picture of the two together, while Rihanna's posse is outraged at Chris and say a picture of the two together will hurt her career. [TMZ]
• The father of Chris Brown's manager, Tina Davis, says the speculation that his daughter is having a romantic relationship with Chris and texted him on the night of the attack is nothing but "old rumors." Davis was first accused of hooking up with Chris in 2005, when he was 16, but they have always denied it. [Yahoo]
• Rihanna partied at a club last night with friends for a belated 21st birthday celebration. Chris was not in attendance. [E!]
• Sort of good news: Chris Brown has withdrawn himself from consideration for a Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Award. [Yahoo]
• There were only four donations made to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's charity last year. One from Angie, one from Brad, on from an Ocean's Eleven producer, and curiously, one from E!. It's unclear what favor the network was looking for, as it certainly didn't inspire Angie and Brad to chat with Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet. [Fox News]
• John Mayer has approached jeweller Lorraine Schwartz to create a diamond engagement ring for Jennifer Aniston. Apparently that gold toe ring he got her didn't cut it. [The Mirror]
• Ivanka Trump thinks it's funny that people keep comparing her to Paris Hilton. She says: "It's no more obvious a comparison than between myself and George Bush. Paris is fine - she is what she is - but her lifestyle wouldn't appeal to me." [The Daily Expres]
• Though DJ AM's rep denies it, there's a rumor that he was booked on the Continental flight that crashed in Buffalo last month but didn't board the plane. If he did, that would mean he survived a second fatal plane crash. [TMZ]
• In this video, Peaches Geldof recounts a sweet story about the time Michael Jackson sat her on his knee and stroked her when she was a child. [The Sun]
• When asked how it felt to be returning to the red carpet after a hiatus, Julia Roberts said, "Just terrifying, awful. It's scary out there – but it's nice ... I've put on three different outfits to come here tonight, three!" [People]
• David Boreanaz and his wife are expecting their second child. They have a 6-year-old son. [People]
• Some very creepy human being took a hidden video of Vanessa Hudgens during a workout class at her gym. [Perez Hilton]
• The Parents Television Council has filed complaint about Family Guy. They're objecting to parts of last week's episode that "bestiality, orgies and babies eating sperm." The PTC didn't complain that Peter was involved in a gay 11 way orgy, so at least they're not homophobic! [NY Magazine]
• Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones had lunch with former Defense Secretary Bill Cohen and his wife Janet in Washington, D.C. today. [Politico]
• LeAnn Rimes is also in D.C. talking to members of Congress about her battle with psoriasis. [Politico]
• Anne Heche gave birth to her first child with boyfriend/co-star James Tupper this weekend. They've named the boy Atlas. [Us]
• There are new pictures of Patrick Swayze on the cover of The National Enquirer and he doesn't look very good. [The L.A. Times]
• Gisele Bundchen says she's looking forward to having a big family but for now she's enjoying her 18-month-old stepson John Edward Moynahan. "It's amazing that I have the opportunity to hang out with my stepson all the time," says Gisele. "He is so kind. He loves blueberries, and every now and then my dog, Vida, tries to get some food from him. He is so nice that he will give her the blueberries first. He is so cute and has such a sweet demeanor." [People]
• Katie Holmes' bob haircut is no more. She she showed up at the Japanese premiere of Valkyrie with extensions. [E!]
• Ashton Kutcher has posted more profound thoughts on Twitter. He writes: "can we just get clear, calling some one 'gay' or 'fag' is as derogatory as calling someone a 'nigger'. U look like an idiot when you do it." But have the people of Twitter had it with Kutcher? One of his followers responded, "what are you a fucking philosopher…learn how to punch and learn how to stop being so gay kelso." [Jossip]
• Michael Jackson has added 20 more dates to his London concert series. [E!]
• James Gandolfini's doctor says his vocal cords need a rest so the Wednesday matinee performance of his Broadway play God of Carnage was cancelled. [AP]
• HBO has apologized to the Mormon church because an upcoming episode of Big Love shows the religion's secretive endowment ceremony. But, HBO isn't pulling the episode. [AP]
• For some reason Hugh Hefner was the one who called ex-girlfriend Holly Madison and told her she was being offered a spot on Dancing With the Stars. Former co-girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson says, ""I think people get on her and think she doesn't know how to dance - but hip-hop dances she needs to work on, but ballroom dancing she's great at, she has great feet." [People]