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Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
Are Love And Hate On The Internet Just Love And Hate Of The Internet?

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Ginmar Rienne
12/02/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
I say 'pinko liberal commie hippie feminazi combat veteran grumpy crazy cat lady' because I'm so sick of people going, "Wait, you were serious about that?" and me having to repeat myself that, yes, I was serious about that. So...I think this is a good thing. Kind of. Sort of.

So when you make friends on line, it's tremendously gratifying, as long as you're honest. My online friends have saved my life, without exaggeration.
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napalmnacey is an angry feminist
12/02/09

@Ginmar Rienne: Word up. I'd be lost without my online buddies. The internet is a wonderful thing.
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Ginmar Rienne
12/02/09

@napalmnacey is an angry feminist: The true down side is that they're all over. On the other hand, you can make friends with people who share your hobbies, or traits or causes---on the other side of the world. But then what?
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napalmnacey is an angry feminist
12/02/09

@Ginmar Rienne: Then you start stickin' pins in a map on the wall and saving up for a massive road trip. Next stop for me is London, after I save up for a mobility scooter!
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Ginmar Rienne
12/02/09

@napalmnacey is an angry feminist: War-related PTSD, including panic attacks, hallucinations, and agoraphobia. But I swear, one of these days, when I even get to the VA, I might just bypass the damned thing, head to the damned airport and go to Europe!
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sequined
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
Since a lot of people on facebook (mostly everyone I know) got into it when it was basically a college stalker-net-type deal, I think the presumption that you should try to portray yourself in any idealized way is not at all an issue.

For most young people, fbook isn't for networking with strangers; it's for exchanging stupid comments with people you already know, and you're not fooling them with well-chosen quotes or good pictures.
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pesematology
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
How to look cool to others, Step 1: Actually do and say cool things.
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randomnessish
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
"because people aren't trying to look good or because they are trying and failing to pull it off."

Truest. Statement. Evar.

Which is hilarious, because when people try to be cool, it shows that they're not. The time honored trick of cool is not try to look like you don't CARE one way or the other. Um, duh?

Not, like, that I care or anything...*puts on sunglasses, leans against wall*
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prismatism is Team Bella
12/01/09

@randomnessish:
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Scout
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
related note: From Harper's Weekly Review:

A Quebec woman who was on paid sick leave after being diagnosed with depression said that her insurance company denied her
health benefits after it found photos on her Facebook page that purportedly
prove her capable of having fun.
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evility
12/01/09

@Scout: Because anhedonia and depression are interchangeable. Geez!
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Scout
12/01/09

@evility: hi, Smart! I'm Stupid, nice to meet you. (I had no idea what anhedonia was and had to look it up)
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pesematology
12/01/09

@Scout: Nice to know that depression is the same as "no fun disease"... did they prove her capable of doing work? Or was she only on paid leave from fun?
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LaComtesse
12/01/09

@Scout: Which is when you say "Oh HAI Canadian free public medicine!" (Or, I guess if you're in Quebec "Salut médecine canadien publique gratuit!")
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evility
12/01/09

@Scout: It's the working title of Annie Hall. I'm not so much smart as I am a film geek.

But nice to meet you, too!
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heavymetalkarma
12/01/09

@Scout: Even if they're being so ridiculous as to claim depression= never having fun, did they consider the possibility of faking it? Smiling for the camera, putting on a brave face?
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Scout
12/01/09

@heavymetalkarma:
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Edited by Scout at 12/01/09 11:25 PM Scout was starred Scout was unstarred

Scout
12/01/09

@heavymetalkarma:

and as prairielily mentioned, the insurance company is Manulife

[www.google.com]
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Ginmar Rienne
12/02/09

@Scout: Are you nuts?! Depressed people never do that! It's just like in the movies! There's a musical montage to some sensitive stirring music, then she'll find Twu Wuv, and it'll all be fine!
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pesematology
12/02/09

@heavymetalkarma: Nah, because then she'd still have a telltale raincloud hovering over her.
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pesematology
12/02/09

@Ginmar Rienne: You can also tell when someone is depressed because they look just like this all the time.
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Ginmar Rienne
12/02/09

@pesematology: Eureka! Who needs medical school?
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andBegorrah
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
But they're not an accurate assessment of one's skills as a future farmer, right? Right??
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long_division
12/01/09

@andBegorrah: You're one of those people who flood my news feed with news about lost cows and lost cats, AREN'T YOU?
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andBegorrah
12/01/09

@long_division: Maybe. Take this quiz to find out!
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GreyEminence
12/01/09

@andBegorrah: My pumpkins withered today! AND YOU JUST REMINDED ME OF THE PAIN.
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alouette
12/01/09

@long_division: I have farmville, fishville, etc etc hidden in my news feed -- heaven!
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Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
12/01/09

@GreyEminence: There's nothing worse than withered pumpkins. The day I got back from a four month expedition to Uganda and found my entire farm had died was almost as bad as the day I found out J.D was leaving Scrubs.
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/01/09

@Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred): @GreyEminence: @andBegorrah: I just started farming and I need more neighbors to expand my farm of awesomeness. PM me if you want to know my real life name and be my neighbor!
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Elaken
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
I have to believe it is the first one. If someone was trying to look good and not pulling it off I don't think it would be an accurate reflection, it might not be an idealized one but it still wouldn't be accurate.

I think the thing about facebook is many of the people on it will also know you in person. Hence the authenticity. Now if it was just people you'd never see in real life, I think it would be quite different.
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happysquid
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
Actually, I read a fascinating book called SNOOP: WHAT YOUR STUFF SAYS ABOUT YOU by Sam Gosling, and it said that social networking profiles were *THE BEST* way to accurately assess someone's psychological profile. Regardless of college students or not, I think that the amount of data on someone's Facebook profile - political leanings, favorite types of music, memberships in random groups, etc - is very revealing...
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sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell
12/01/09

@happysquid: And what can you deduce from someone who doesn't regularly participate in social networking? Are they reclusive? If they do not outwardly project their interests and activities, what can be inferred?
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melabel
12/01/09

@happysquid: Unless you don't have any of that info up. My info page is completely blank and I've recently started leaving groups that give any indication of my personal life. The only one I refuse to leave is "Team Jacob? Team Edward? How about Team Shut the Fuck Up?". Yeah, can't break my allegiance with that group; it's too central to the core of my being.
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marciax3
12/01/09

@sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell: I just had someone in HR say that if someone can't be googled, they're losers. For real.
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happysquid
12/01/09

@sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell: THEN you just snoop around on their desks, bedrooms, etc. like Gosling to gather the info... or not. It's a good book.
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samarkand
12/01/09

@marciax3: Correction: If someone can't be googled, they're *smart*. I'm all over the bloody internet, but google any of the info I put on my resume and you won't come up with much (and everything you will come up with is from Ye Olden Days back when it hadn't yet occurred to many people that in the future someone might be able to put their name into a search engine and find out everything about them).
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TheFormerJuneBronson
12/01/09

@happysquid: I really enjoyed that book! I was telling some of his findings to my students in class last spring (the dorm room study) and I think I blew their minds.
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marciax3
12/01/09

@samarkand: Google me and you get twenty other black women in my city with my name. I got a lot of mystified internet dates in my day with folks who snooped around and thought I'd be a hot african dance instructor who dabbles in real estate while helping with doctors without borders and a judgement against me from Sears.
In my defense, I'M the marciax3 with good credit.
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samarkand
12/01/09

@marciax3: I have a one-of-a-kind name (even my first name is very rare, and put it together with my uncommon last name and I don't think there's another me on the planet let alone this city), so I have to be really vigilant about where I put my real name online. I *really* don't need future employers reading my political screeds or dirty fanfiction.
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marciax3
12/01/09

@samarkand: I envy you your unique name. My name combo is so common that someone famous has it already. Cybersquatting Grammy nominee!
I must think of a nom de plume that still satisfies my need to see my own name celebrated. MX Three? Marcia Cubed? Think....THINK...
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alouette
12/01/09

@marciax3: Sometimes I complain about my boring boring common name, but I do practically have google-immunity.
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marciax3
12/01/09

@alouette: Yeah. Sometimes you're safe in your own deniability: "Jane Smith was caught shoplifting."
"Wasn't me."
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sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell
12/01/09

@marciax3: Which is total bullshit.
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marciax3
12/01/09

@sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell: Yep. But it scares me how many other folks in charge of hiring and firing think that shiz.
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veronykah
12/01/09

@samarkand: When I decided on my artistic career path and found out there was a very well known artist already in posession of my real name, I took the opportunity to create my own name.
Its unique and the first 2 pages of results from google are all info about me related to my field.
Its nice to have my "real" name and my alias name both of which I have pretty much controlled what you find when you look for me online. You might find a lot, but its what I WANT you to find.
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sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell
12/01/09

In reply to Study: Users Aren't Putting Their Best Face(book) Forward
Wow. A study of 236 college students, which asks questions about their own personalities. If that's not conclusive research, I don't know what is.
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Scout
12/01/09

@sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell: sounds like my worst nightmare and conversation worthy of the 8th Circle of Hell
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cricketchicka
07/10/09

In reply to Are Love And Hate On The Internet Just Love And Hate Of The Internet?
i flirted online with someone by commenting on their blog, one thing led to another, he moved from Australia to England and we're getting married next month.
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roadrunnerbeepbeep
07/10/09

@cricketchicka: Aww wow! I love those kind of things, congratulations!
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cricketchicka
07/11/09

@roadrunnerbeepbeep: thanks roadrunnerbeepbeep!
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Jack_Burton
07/10/09

In reply to Are Love And Hate On The Internet Just Love And Hate Of The Internet?
So many examples, so little time:
http://www.lamebook.com/
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veronykah
07/10/09

@Jack_Burton: Thank you so much for that.
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scandalouskiki
07/10/09

In reply to Are Love And Hate On The Internet Just Love And Hate Of The Internet?
There is something thrilling about how open the Internet seems - we can meet and comment on the musings of people we've never met in real life, or people we've met once or twice. But we also say more and share more than we ever would have before with these types of acquaintances. For example, I think many of us who are also Facebook users have a "friend" or two (or 20) that we've only ever met once, but that person still gets the same updates and such that our best friends on Facebook do. That person wouldn't know those things about you if it weren't for Facebook. So sure, I can see it being about "loving" the Internet more than the person because without it some of these new interactions wouldn't be occurring. I'm not discounting the possibility of finding real love through online interactions (I know people who have and I think that's great), but I do think that there's a certain appeal in Internet socializing that can't be ignored.
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ablative
07/10/09

In reply to Are Love And Hate On The Internet Just Love And Hate Of The Internet?
I... flirt by twitter. I use it a lot, and somehow or another a guy from my town found me there, and we send each other cute tweets about every day.

Would I actually meet up with him? Probably not. But it's fun to flirt with him over that interface. Am I really the only one who flirts over twitter?!
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/10/09

@ablative: You probably are. But it's okay! We're all lame here.
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Jack_Burton
07/10/09

@ablative: I did for a little while. But now, I'm a born-again curmudgeon. Kinda a turn-off, I suppose.
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VaginaWig is A Merkin
07/10/09

@ablative: No. I met a Dom that I play with via Twitter. It's fun!
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ablative
07/10/09

@VaginaWig is A Merkin: Thank goodness! I knew I couldn't be the only one!
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queenieinmanhattan
07/10/09

@ablative: I flirted with a guy on Twitter until he got super creepy and I blocked him there and on IM...and he logged onto AOL from an account that I didn't know of and IMed me again. The grossness!
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thesciencegirl
07/10/09

In reply to Are Love And Hate On The Internet Just Love And Hate Of The Internet?
I've been forming relationships online since middle school, when my dad first told me about this awesome "internet" thing. For some time, I was content to keep many of those relationships (friendships, flirtations, what have you) on the web, but that changed years ago, and I now WANT to meet someone in person and have a "real" relationship with them if they're interesting enough for me to continue to correspond with them. So, when longtime commentesr on my blog visit my city or vice versa, we make plans to meet up, etc.

Especially with romance, if I meet someone great through the net, I get very frustrated if we send long e-mails back and forth, but don't move it expediently into RL.
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PilgrimSoul
07/10/09

In reply to Are Love And Hate On The Internet Just Love And Hate Of The Internet?
blog comments that they'd never voice to someone's face,

I don't know what you're talking about. I just read my comments from today aloud to myself and I immediately had visions of unicorns dancing in a field full of wildflowers while Enya played softly in the background.
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