Jezebel 
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New York, 6:53 PM
Tue Nov 24
71 posts in the last 24 hours
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08/03/09
I'd imagine this goes for other sites/applications as well
08/03/09
Most of us had never met in person before this point but we've attended the same sites for so long that when we first saw each other it was as meeting old friends after many years. I mean, we're all fuckin' geeks, obviously, so we're relatively awkward in general, but I don't think the fact that the vast majority of our relationships take place online diminishes them.
However there is, I think, a certain threshold that can be passed only through meeting and internet friend in person - An internet friend can move and lose a connection or have a change in life priorities or just time allowed on the net, and your relationship to that person can change dramatically. It can end pretty abruptly in some cases. I think physical proximity really is a very significant factor in the vitality of relationships. But it's not the only one.
08/03/09
08/02/09
I also eat raw fish and my one true love is a magical ring. Hisss! My preciousssss...
08/02/09
I also agree with your point, Hortense, that the internet has helped me learn to read people better, not worse. Part of my life is "a clinicial impairment in social skills" (Asperger's syndrome) and I am much more fluent, fluid, and expressive in text than I am in person. Having the ability to talk with friends after outings in my preferred medium--a text-based one--and go over what sucked and what went well has made everyone's lives better in my circle.
I have made a number of valuable relationships online, including my girlfriend (whom I've known for almost 10 years online, now, and met in person in 2006 after we'd been dating long-distance for 2 years). I've also made a few bad moves, with people who were drama queens and sucked up energy and time uselessly. You learn to avoid them, just like in "real" life.
I find this periodic "O noes teh intarwebs is ruinin teh childrenz!" tedious and the regular defenses those of us who genuinely enjoy our time on the internet must put forward even more tedious.
08/02/09
To some extent I see the Archbishop's point, though. I'm in my mid-20s and didn't grow up with online bullying the way some people a decade younger have, and I rely heavily on social networking sites to keep in touch with friends on multiple continents. But I've been known to use facebook to monitor obsessively the movements of friends--to look at photo albums of events I wasn't invited to, see who's writing on other walls and not on mine. It's stupid and self-flagellating, but online social networking makes it much easier and more tempting.
In high school all I could do was wonder who was talking to someone else behind my back over the phone in the evenings. I can't imagine having those horrible teenage over-emotional fears and seeing them realised online. I happen to think the online world is more of a relfection of the real one than many worried 'adult' types say (after all, I may have 500 facebook friends I barely know, but I don't communicate with them regularly the way I do with my close friends), but I think it can refract and magnify real-world problems as well.
08/02/09
The good is that social networking lets me get in touch with friends who live halfway across the country, and so I would otherwise never see. In addition, it gives me a way to connect professionally with other writers that I wouldn't have otherwise had.
The bad side is that I've found that sustained interaction and conversation, like on the phone or through email or face to face, have all but evaporated.
So it's like, as the quantity and accessibility of communication increased, the quality of that communication decreased.
I think it's fine as long as it's incorporated into previously existing ways of socializing. It only becomes an issue when it replaces all of it. Which I have seen happen, and it is sad.
05/30/09
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05/30/09
Seriously, what possible precedent could you have for saying that? My ex-boyfriend's mom kidnapped him when he was a child, and I don't recall anyone "rooting" for her.
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