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New York, 2:23 AM
Thu Nov 12
67 posts in the last 24 hours
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09/16/09
And the vaginal aches that started during last week's "Mad Men" episode continue...
09/16/09
I want to go over to South Africa (or whatever country she's traveling through) and tell her that she is not alone, and that while the world might say some awful things, it does not remove your value as a person. You are a human being, first and foremost. Your genitals cannot make you a better or worse person, more or less worthy of love and respect. These people have trashed you and you have done nothing to deserve it.
She must feel so alone, and transfixed by what is happening. I can't imagine how upsetting it would be to have such a base part of your identity ripped away from you. Part of me hopes she stays the hell away from the internet, and part of me hopes she's found the outpouring of support.
There are support groups out there - people who have lived with and do live with intersex conditions. And while they still enjoy the veil of moderate privacy, they can help you learn to cope with and possible even accept what your body is. You're not a monster, you're not a freak, you're not an "it" (unless you want to be). Someone close to her, please tell her this! Tell her she has worth and that there are ways to get through this. Tell her that someone will stand by her, and that she is not alone, in spirit or in body.
09/16/09
Poor Caster... she definitely didn't know beforehand...
And juxtaposing Pouillon next to the Susan G Komen thing reminds us that some tragedies may not be so bad... I don't really care if I'm an awful person for saying that...
09/16/09
No wait...I dont know how bad he was, but man, fuck the folks protesting the Komen foundation.
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09/16/09
That's a great way to attract more middle of the road people to pledge some money to Operation Rescue.
No wonder those nincompoops are nearly bankrupt.
09/16/09
FFFFFUUUUUU-
This is extra insulting because of how many of these protesters will inevitably be guys. I just don't get why men (who hold the purse-strings on R&D for medical treatments) aren't totally gung ho about what ever they can do to prevent and treat breast cancer. It's tits! You guys love those! Help them! Even the gay guys I know think boobs are pretty awesome!
After my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had a good month and a half of pure rage petering out to my current level of seething hatred. The doctors caught it early, but BCBS was doing everything it could to short change her on treatment. The rage got even worse after they didn't want to cover the second operation to remove the tumor parts they missed the first time.
I still walk around thinking of the major advancements that have made testicular and prostate cancer so survivable. Then there's the fact that viagra and the rest are treated like every man's GOD GIVEN RIGHT...but my mother doesn't have the right to keep her breasts? Some old asshole can fuck all he wants all the way to the grave but my mommy has to fight tooth and nail to not have the family go in to bankruptcy so she can LIVE?
And health care doesn't need reform? Fuck you, you anti-choice teabagging douchenozzels!
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It's better out than in, remember that.
Also, I hope your mum gets better but something tells me that having such an awesome daughter in her corner is already helping her out.
09/16/09
And while it would be nice to live in a world where women's lives were the most important part of this argument...sadly, I've given up on being able to play to that. When you only believe in the lowest common denominator, it's easiest to stick to simplistic ideas like "men <3 breasts."
What gets them money? What gets them funding? I think partially it has to do with the genuine desire to save women's lives...but then you look at how little is going on with ovarian and cervical cancer and there's no denying that the fact that it's *breasts* on the line here is what keeps the research dollars where they are.
I hate that my thinking has come to this, but this is really what it's come to for me
09/16/09
Edit: I keep trying to put a "greater than" sign between the breasts and the lives but it won't show up.
09/16/09
That news bite just really got to me...to think you would try to undermine something this important because they won't promote your pet statistic...It's worth it to let more women undergo the pain and suffering that comes with cancer for that? It's just not right, ya know?
09/16/09
09/16/09
So, you know, lots of men SUPPORT this cause too, which was probably the coolest thing about the 3-Day - seeing so many PEOPLE (not just women) come out and positively support what is primarily a women's issue but actually affects everyone.
09/16/09
09/16/09
But here's the thing: Cancer treatments and meds? When coverage is denied on these things and people are left to go out of pocket or do without, it's a matter of life or death.
When someone only gets some viagra covered and has to go out of pocket, it's just not the same level of urgency. A life without sex sounds terrible and I'm sure has psychological ailments that go with it...but at least you don't have cancer.
If only a few pills are covered, that's still a few covered. Not the same as "I know you need this radiation to make sure your cancer doesn't come back but we think it's a little too expensive." Both suck. But one is worse.
09/16/09
My mom had breast cancer a few years back - first in one breast, then in the other, marking the second time she's had it (on both sides) in 20 years. The first time, in the early 90's, our insurance company at the time (being the winners they were) decided that hell, they'll pay for part of the surgery, but they won't pay a damned thing for reconstruction. Seeing as implants were too expensive, my mom only had one breast - and then none - for fifteen years. I can't even imagine that...having NOTHING there.
Once she got it AGAIN a couple years ago, they mercifully caught it early and managed to remove it - Humana having paid for, oh, maybe half of the surgery and reconstruction, if that. I'm sure you know how fucking expensive that was even with half. We were paying still that bill off my entire first year of college, and this happened in my junior year of high school. Her having cancer was inconvenient and expensive for them, and who cares if we go bankrupt and subsequently have the world's highest deductibles?
However, when we tried to eventually change insurance companies through my dad's work, it was nearly impossible to get her any sort of coverage, because they'd rather see her die than have to pay for another surgery. I have a blinding rage towards insurance companies.
So yeah, I feel you - yes, it does blow that you can't have sex, but the point is, you're still alive.
As for the asshats who are protesting Susan G. Komen - words don't even begin to describe my utter disgust. Let alone the fact that this is just absolutely shameless, it's just pathetic. Please go jump off something large, and if that's asking too much, just maybe go dig a hole VERY far away from me and sit in it.
Deep breaths...
09/16/09
09/16/09
I like bushy eyebrows, in guys and women, a little trim can go a long way. But a "little" not like "Oh God, your eyebrows look as if they had been stencilled with a sharpie!!"
09/16/09
@Ailatan:
Ala Joey Lawrence?
09/16/09
09/16/09
Uh, what??? That can't be right.
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09/16/09
Edited to add: me being one of them.
I find this relatively offensive.
09/16/09
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09/16/09
I also found it relatively offensive the last time I went to a Cracker Barrel and the waitress ran after me on my way to the bathroom and insisted that "We don't just give away food around here, you have to pay"...before I had ordered.
But you know, you laugh to keep from crying. Also, damn good biscuits.
09/16/09
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09/16/09
My lord, no one is saying all of the people who eat there are crackers (though I refuse to eat there), but yeah, I have no problem lambasting the fuckers who own and run that pile of shit establishment. "Family restaurant," my ass.
09/17/09
The Cracker Barrels in my town are pretty evenly split both employee and customer-wise, so to call me a Cracker (because I have eaten there and I am white) is fairly offensive. Am I not allowed to be offended by someone throwing out racial slurs?
Having said that...I didn't know about Cracker Barrel's EEO issues.
09/16/09
Protesting. Race. For. The. Cure. W. T. F.?!
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09/16/09
The asshole that beat up the reservist after almost hitting her daughter. And then there is the two cases of gang-rapist motherfuckers. And the people's reaction to Caster.
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However that would be like calling your boss a motherfucker.
09/16/09
we sometimes use to mean "wow! you rule!!!" but I guess he wasn't going for that one, context is all.
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09/16/09
Half the fun of studying abroad is the exchange of profanity tips. Also, it's hilarious listening to someone from the south of Spain try to pronounce and properly use "douchebag."
09/16/09
:)
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09/16/09
I swear so much in Spanish and sometimes I think about it in English and think "this is disgusting" if I were to translate it. Spanish is just swearing and really bad and blasphemous too. Shitting in the milk, shitting on the communion wafer..
Though the funniest shit was when I was crossing on the zebra crossing with this little old lady and a guy in his car saw us and speeded up (asshole) so we had to run. I've never heard such words come out of a sweet looking old lady. She threatened to shove her stick up his ass, make him eat it, shit on him, on the whore of his mother and a few of his ancestors. I was impressed.
09/16/09
God that old lady story had me in stitches! I'd pay to see the lady beat the crap out of the jerk with her cane.
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