×Pending Replies will be live across Kinja on Thursday, August 21. Read more.

So What if Obama Quit Smoking Because He's 'Scared' of His Wife?

Fire up the gaffe signal; the President said something unscripted! Yesterday, during an "hot mic" moment at the UN General Assembly, our Commander-In-Chief Barack Hussein Bengazi Obamacare Bailout Obama confessed to an official that he hasn't had a cigarette in six years because he's "scared" of his wife. Either… » 9/24/13 12:00pm 9/24/13 12:00pm

Yessss, Mercury in Retrograde Is Here

I showed up over an hour late to a doctor's appointment yesterday because I fucked up my Google Calendar alert — it pinged while I was working from home in a Pippin The Musical T-shirt with coconut oil on my split ends. But the most frustrating aspect of the screw-up was that I couldn't chalk it up to the planet… » 6/26/13 3:30pm 6/26/13 3:30pm

Men Twice As Likely To Use Workplace Bereavement Days To Play Hooky

In last year's Sundance movie The Lie, a man who plays hooky from work tells his boss that his kid is sick. Later, under duress, he blurts out, shockingly, that the baby has died—and the remainder of the film deals with the consequences. As it turns out, that premise is more realistic than you might have imagined: 26%… » 12/23/12 1:30pm 12/23/12 1:30pm

Woman Flees the Scene of a Car Accident So Her Ice Cream Won't Melt

Well, if it isn't a new entry for the Terrible Excuses Hall of Fame. A woman in Arkansas gave this bold explanation for why she fled the scene of a car accident she was involved in: "I left because I didn't want my ice cream to melt." Flora Burkhart rear-ended someone who was in a turn lane, but she failed to stop… » 7/05/12 9:30am 7/05/12 9:30am

Ten Ridiculous Excuses You Don't Want to Give for Being Late to Work


We've all been there: you show up a little later than you'd planned for work, and, of course, your boss just happens to see you sneaking in, and then you have to explain yourself. Most of us are sensible enough to say something vague, like "problem with my car." And that's smart because, according to a new survey… » 1/16/12 10:00am 1/16/12 10:00am