Jezebel 
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New York, 3:05 PM
Wed Nov 25
61 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/19/09
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11/19/09
The worst is the splatterers--YOU KNOW who you are. You are the reason that none of us can sit down, because you get more piss on and around the seat than my eight year old nephew. Here's a rhyme for you:
"If you sprinkle
when you tinkle,
Please be neat
and wipe the seat."
I would like to graffiti that on every public restroom in the United States (and Canada, just for you lisas).
11/19/09
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I kind of agree with badmutha, though. The majority of people who have it don't suffer like your roommate did, and while I definitely think we need to work hard to prevent the spread of it so those who would be severely affected don't have to suffer, the degree of stigma, shame, and trauma associated with having it at all is excessive given the actual health effects for most people.
11/19/09
The good thing is that over the years, the frequency of outbreaks can decrease -- to the point where you even forget you have it. But I would never deny how traumatic it can be in the early stages, especially for someone who is not in a long-term monogamous relationship and has to explain the condition to every potential partner. That part sucks.
11/19/09
11/19/09
I don't understand with all these mini crotch critters breeding like crazy people still won't wrap their junk up during sex. It takes less than a min to avoid a lifetime of uck.
Sorry but I don't feel like playing a lifelong game of zoo tycoon on my cunt.
11/19/09
#tips
11/19/09
And yes, for a lot of people herpes is a relatively minor infection. But for some people it's brutal, so I absolutely hate it when I see people taking the attititude "oh, it's just whatevs for me, so I don't have to use condoms or tell anyone." Because while it might not affect YOU too badly, you might infect someone for whom it IS a serious health problem (or they might unknowingly pass it on, etc).
11/19/09
"lifetime of uck" and "zoo tycoon on my cunt" reflects the stigma attached to herpes, genitals, and sex. In my experience I have found the stigma far more devastating than the physical discomfort of an outbreak.
11/19/09
One thing I hated about HS sex ed. was the prevalent deterrent for having unprotected sex was the shame associated with having an STD. Instilling this attitude in people is what causes these diseases to be spread so widely.
I've known a lot of friends who have either been too scared or ashamed to tell a doctor about their symptoms, lest they be judged as "dirty" or "slutty." One of the girls just basically ignored her first flare-up and was so in denial that she didn't go to her Dr. and gave Herpes to her longtime boyfriend.
It doesn't have to be that way. There is a happy medium between shaming and scaring everyone into celibacy and being totally blithe about the disease. In fact, the people who are so judgy about it are the ones who cause the blitheness in others, because if it weren't for the stigma, people wouldn't be ashamed to be open about having the disease.
11/19/09
I think it's simply a respect thing. You disclose potential health risks to partners. Because these health risks can affect you finincially, mentally, and physically.
I disclose to people I'm dating I am bipolar. I give them the option, with knowledge on whether they want to continue a relationship with me knowing I have that illness, and everything it entails. You can't pass on BP...but you can pass on STDs. Why can't people with STDs show the same respect?
It's this undertone of secrecy on these health issues between partners that really freaks me out. It's this idea that marriage somehow makes you immune to disease. It doesn't. I read awhile ago that women are more likely to get AIDS from their husbands than any other way.
I will fully disclose I'm a hardcore germaphobe though so any talk of this makes my skin crawl.
11/19/09
Also, the same thing happens with HSV-1 because kids are always putting things in their mouths and sharing those things with eachother.
there are also several other viruses which infect us early in life (my scientist boyfriend would know the actual names) but because they don't cause a lot of physiological "hullaballoo", are never really addressed.
I have genital herpes, for nearly 6 years now, and i've only had two outbreaks (visible) so I consider it highly manageable and not disruptive of my life.
That said, I do feel for those who have them frequently and have ones which are painful, I think I would be a lot more angry if that were the case with me - but, again, herpes is manageable with proper diet, supplementation and stress reduction practices. I think too many are too reliant on drugs like Famvir, Valtrex and Zovrax.
Living with it requires a lifestyle change to be more healthy and people are often not prepared to do that.
*steps off soapbox - sorry *
11/19/09
This means that one could contract it in one's early 20's, be unawares because they never took STD tests and then be giving it to partners when the "condoms come off" monogamy begins.
ALWAYS GET TESTED WHEN STARTING A NEW RELATIONSHIP.
It is the only true way to know what you have rather than wait for the disease to reveal itself.
11/19/09
#tips
11/19/09
11/19/09
I separate the disease from the person.
But that doesn't stop the disease from grossing me out, the same way the flem I was coughing up last week from my cold grossed me out.
The same why hummus, paracute pants, and sand in my bathing suit makes me go yuk. But do I think people who wear paracute pants are bad people? No.
Well maybe if they are metallic.
I just think this lackadaisy attitude towards safe sex is worrying to me. I'm 26. I can't remember a time growing up that people DIDN'T think using a condom was a good idea. Maybe growing up in the 90s when the AIDS scare was still fresh in our memories was different than now.
But I'm seeing this more and more in attitudes towards sex practices.
Whoever said getting fully tested before you start each relationship is a great idea and one I practice.
#tips
11/19/09
sucks
#tips
11/19/09
so where does that leave us with STD testing? does one need to specifically request an HSV test or ???
#tips
11/20/09
I'm not saying people shouldn't be careful, but we're talking about something little kids get from playing recorders at school and sharing water bottles. I'm not sure how much one can do to protect oneself from it completely, and I'm not sure it's worth a lot of angst about it.
Edit: reading farther down the thread, I realize that people were focusing mostly on those who already know they're infected and don't take precautions. I agree that that's definitely not cool, for the reasons mentioned below. I was thinking more about someone who wasn't infected, and how much time/mental energy they should expend worrying about it.
11/20/09
#tips
11/19/09
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11/19/09
But that screengrab did just give me my first belly laugh of the day, so good karma for you.
"using Clitter may result in Sparklebabies"
aaand the laughter begins again.
11/19/09
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11/19/09
Much more nuanced than 'So Whatevs'.
And where's this pro-unprotected sex stance you claim? I'm truly curious what you're talking about.
11/19/09
[jezebel.com]
[jezebel.com]
11/19/09
However, I hold by my point, which I think the herpes article by Tracie makes itself.
And on the Moe post, I'm seeing this as one woman's satirical post on having unprotected sex, herself, with dorks. (heh.) Every article/bit about sex is not a statement by Jezebel as a whole on what it thinks about it and how it believes it's readers should think. Moe seemed to love sex-shocking, and obviously successfully.
11/19/09
There was a survey that doesn't show now for some reason, but I believe it was close to half or more readers thought it was ok not to disclose to their partner the fact that they have STDs. Disturbing to say the least.
11/19/09
I can't quite say "we have to agree to disagree", because I don't "disagree", per se.
But reading the comments to your listed article, all the debate about the issue is right there.
So maybe "We probably disagree on these points, even if just in nuanced ways" is best?
11/19/09
in said post, tracie thought her decision to not tell her bf at the time about her condition was ok. many people who took the survey she put forth agreed. i disagree with that theory.
just because one is afraid of being slut-shamed by a partner does not give them the right to withhold such information.
11/19/09
11/19/09
No no, and I see that, and I don't actually disagree with that, per se, I just think it's a longer discussion.
But! That discussion, judging by the comments on the post, has been had many times!
11/19/09
Hot damn that sounds horrible. If I ever go back on the market, I'll be on Team Abstinence until Trojan develops a sex HAZMAT suit.
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11/19/09
Alternatively, Chuck's a mom and pop; herpes is a cooperation. Herpes is a press conference; Chuck's a conversation.
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That and the fact that nobody wants to talk about it.
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09/17/09
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09/17/09
OR HER VAGINA WILL CRUSH YOU!