• Reese Witherspoon is "a little strict" about her kids' Christmas presents, in order to ensure that they won't grow up super-spoiled. "I think kids do best when they only have a couple of things that they really enjoy," Witherspoon says, "I try and stay away from the gluttony of things. They don't appreciate it as much. When they only get one or two things they really like it." [People]

• However, Reese's daughter Ava has asked for a horse for Christmas, and Reese is still unsure as to whether she'll actually buy her one or not. [US Magazine]

• Perhaps Ava asked her father, Ryan Phillippe, to buy her a horse over Thanksgiving weekend, which she and her brother, Deacon, spent with Phillipe and his girlfriend, Abbie Cornish. Or maybe she should ask her mom's boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal, who spent Thanksgiving weekend with Reese in the United Kingdom.[JustJared]

• In any case, Reese has reason to celebrate: Four Christmases beat Twilight at the box office, taking in 15 million dollars. [EW]

• You may have to put your dreams of becoming Mrs. Legolas on hold: Orlando Bloom is reportedly engaged to model Miranda Kerr. [ONTD]

• Britney Spears performed once again; this time she hit up The X Factor. But was
  she (shock!) lip-synching? [DailyMail]

• Lip-synching or no, Britney's mother, Lynne Spears, thinks "Britney’s just ready to get started again. I think this is when she’s most in her element.”[TheSun]

• But! Britney was reportedly brought to tears while waiting to perform on the French television show Star Academy as a retrospective of her career flashed across the screen. Happy tears? Sad tears? At this point, it's anyone's guess. [ONTD]

• Roselyn Sanchez of Without A Trace married fellow actor Eric Winter on Saturday. [US Magazine]

• After seeing pictures of Sienna Miller out on the town with Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett, Balthazar Getty reportedly flew to London "in the hope of a reconciliation." However, a source says, "They are keeping it very casual; they are not back together."[DailyMail]

• Is Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes movie cursed? Several accidents on the set are leading some people to believe so. [TheSun]

• Country music star Taylor Swift is thankful for her family and friends: "I'm thankful that, even when it's raining, I've got people to count on." [People]

• "I admire any woman who has made it in this business and hasn't lost her marbles." - Eva Mendes[PageSix]

• Looks like Benji Madden isn't crying too hard over his breakup with Paris Hilton; he was spotted at an Adam Green concert saying, "I'm back!" to scenester Cory Kennedy. [PageSix]

• Pink has released her new video, "Sober," which chronicles the end of her party girl days. [E!]

• About 4,000 fans attended the "A Christmas Story" convention in Cleveland, which was put on to celebrate the classic holiday film's 25th anniversary. So far, there have been no confirmed reports of anyone shooting their eye out. [NYTimes]

New York, November 8. Image via INF.

[Madrid, October 16. Images via x17.]

[London, October 15. Image via Splash.]

[London, October 14. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, September 29. Image via Flynet]

• Barneys Creative Director Simon Doonan and designer Jonathan Adler were wed yesterday at City Hall in San Francisco! This article states that they "sealed the union with a spirited sprint down the glorious grand staircase." Mr. Doonan wore a Liberty print shirt, Barneys Co-op jeans, a Prada V-neck and a Thom Browne velvet jacket. Mr. Adler wore Barneys Co-op jeans, V-neck, a Fred Perry sweater, and Adidas sneakers. [SFGate, Photo by Thor Swift]
• If Prop. 8 passes in California, "it would be the first time in American history that an existing minority right would be taken away by the vote of a majority." The Christian conservatives are ahead, in terms of fundraising. Karen Ocamb's article indicates that Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, Sir Elton John and Melissa Etheridge have not donated to the cause to fight Prop 8, according to the California Secretary of State’s Campaign Finance website. Ocamb writes: "While their visibility as openly LGBT celebrities and entertainment power players is important, their financial absence from the specific fight to save the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry is hurting." [In L.A. Magazine]
• Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in All My Sons last night and Tom Cruise loved it. "It was extraordinary," he says. [Yahoo News]

• Heidi Klum is freaking out about hosting the Emmys on Sunday. She says: "I get nervous when so many people are looking at me. It’s live and you go on stage and no one asks questions. To go out and just talk is terrifying." Heidi, when it doubt, say "deezigners." Everyone loves that! [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Ivana Trump flew coach. [Page Six]
• Pink's song about heartbreak, "So What," is her first No.1 song on Billboard's Hot 100. She says the track is not entirely autobiographical, but the opening line is, "I guess I just lost my husband." (Watch the video!) [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman speaks about her baby and her hubby! She says: "To be given the blessing of a child at this stage of my life was wonderful." She also claims she and Keith can't stand to be away from each other. "We start to hurt after seven days. I've never wanted to live my life apart from the person I love. If you're going to be with someone, you're with them, you’re committed to them. I'm not sort of flitting around. If I fall, I fall — that's it. We gently fell into each other. We were two lonely people who went, 'Ah, there you are.'" [The Sun]
• After shooting 30 Rock with Oprah, Tina Fey says: "I would like to announce that we are officially best friends." [Chicago Tribune]
• You know how Amy Poehler is getting her own show? Will Arnett will be on it! Her husband! [Onion AV Club]
• Justin Timberlake is planning on writing a song for his friend Ellen DeGeneres and her new bride Portia de Rossi. "I actually made them a promise and I'm gonna stick to it," he says. Let you whip me if I misbehave… [UPI]
• Simon Cowell uses so much Botox he can no longer scowl. He says: "To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It simply works. You do it once a year — who cares?" Um, Simon, do you only brush your teeth only once a year?? [The Sun]
• George Clooney's character in Burn After Reading uses a sex ramp; apparently sales of this item are suddenly up. [Daily Express]
• Katherine Heigl earns about 22 times what her Grey's Anatomy costar Ellen Pompeo makes, thanks to her film career. (Other Grey's salaries are compared here, too.) [Portƒolio]
• Val Kilmer as the governor of New Mexico? Bill Richardson says yes! "I like the idea. Val Kilmer is a New Mexican; he was Batman. You know there have been successful actors going into politics." [Shakesville]
• Last night, Audrina Patridge maybe moved out of the house that she shared with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth. Plus: Rumors are swirling that she's getting her own spin-off show. Please let JustinBobby be in it! [TMZ]
• Oooh the Jack White/Alicia Keys Bond theme! It's called "Another Way To Die." Listen here. [Concrete Loop]
• So you know how Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Sherlock Holmes in a flick directed by Guy Ritchie? Jude Law will play Watson. [Ain't It Cool]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali will do another 13 episodes of their cooking show; this time in Italy. [Perez Hilton]
• Contrary to reports, two of Paris Hilton's dogs were NOT eaten by a coyote. [Page Six, People]
• Pat O'Brien is leaving The Insider. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal's lawyer says: "Those were not Ryan's drugs, he doesn't use drugs." [People]
• Gary Coleman's lawyer says "he did nothing wrong." This comes after Coleman allegedly ran over a dude who tried to take his picture with a camera phone. [People]
• Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour: "Overloaded with blinding dazzle, pyrotechnics and gaudy style over substance. The myriad production numbers were reminiscent of a poor Vegas revue and emotionally distant, the band and backup singers bolstering her vocals hidden away, leaving one to wonder if some — or most — of it was prerecorded." [Reuters]
• Is Britney Spears getting special treatment for her driving without a valid license trial? [AP]
• Broke oil "heir" Brandon Davis owes money all over town. [Page Six]
• Is Kathy Griffin moving her Life On The D-List show from Bravo to some other network? [Page Six]
• Denise Richards' show: Getting canceled? [Page Six]
• Joan Prather of Eight Is Enough was arrested after dragging an L.A. County Sheriff's deputy down the Pacific Coast Highway with her car. [TMZ]
• China's Ugly Betty is not ugly enough. [Guardian]
• Speaking of Ugly Betty, America Ferrera says Henry and Gio will be back on Season 3. [EW]
• Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez: Officially divorced. That was quick! [TMZ]
• LL Cool J is pissed because Jessica Simpson's album beat his on the charts. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood's estranged wife says: "I'm enjoying my new freedom." [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher doesn't know how to spell step-daughter Tallulah's name. [Perez Hilton]
• Does Playboy treat black women like crap? [TMZ]
• The Spice Girls have beaten Led Zeppelin for an award for the best music reunion. Girl powah! [BBC News]
• Tracy Chapman is releasing her first new album in years, and you can listen to a track here. [Perez Hilton]
• "I do believe in marriage… But I just think for me, it’s not a desperate kind of thing. In America it’s definitely something that seems to be a major goal with every woman – the big wedding day. I don’t need that. I want total commitment and spiritual connection, and I am lucky because that’s what I’ve got. One of the things that first attracted me to my boyfriend is his brain. He’s very well-read and really sexy to me. Brains are the most important thing to me, because I feel I lack them. I want them from the man I am with. I love a well-read man – that is such a turn-on." — Eva Mendes. [Mirror]

• Scarlett Johansson is just getting back from a four-day trip to Rwanda, where she visited AIDS clinics. She went in conjunction with (RED) and says: "I came here with an open mind, wanting to listen, understand and learn; I leave with the overwhelming understanding that the small action of making a (RED) choice in your purchases ... has an enormous impact on the lives of people in countries like Rwanda." [People]
• Santa must think you've been very good: Stephen Colbert is hosting a one-hour Christmas special on Comedy Central. A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! will air Nov. 23. It's a musical, of course. Look for John Legend, Elvis Costello, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Feist and Daily Show host Jon Stewart, who's supposed to sing a duet with Colbert of a song simply titled "Hanukkah." It's the most wonderful time of the year! [AP]
• Anne Hathaway's "people" don't want you to know that she smokes. [Rush & Molloy]
• Breaking news: Madonna is rude. [Perez Hilton]
• Barbra Streisand sang at a fundraiser for Barack Obama last night. Her song choices: "When the Sun Comes Out," "Make Someone Happy," "What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?" and "Shining Hour." [Fox 411]

• Is Britney's label pushing her too hard? She's been going to the studio ever since she got out of the hospital, but it was more therapeutic than anything — now her CD is going to drop. Too much too soon? A source "close" to her record label says: "As long as it's produced well and has a good beat, she’ll have a hit. Really, the quicker we do it, the better it will be. You shouldn’t overthink some things." Has Britney ever been accused of overthinking anything? [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Lopez threw Marc Anthony a surprise 40th birthday party in New York — on the same day she completed her first triathlon in Malilbu. Over-achieve much, showoff? Anywhoozle, the party had a casino and showgirl vibe with Dita Von Teese, a salsa orchestra, mojitos and dancers in feather headdresses. [People]
• Searching for images of Brad Pitt can kill your computer, but what a lovely way to go. [MSNBC]
• Ricky Gervais thinks obese people should be shunned: "I don't think there's enough stigma. I laugh about being fat but I should be ashamed. I should walk down the street and have people shouting 'Fatty'. That's what I want, to get me out of it. In supermarkets, the really fattening stuff should be behind a really thin door. Shops should be full of salads but if you want to get to the pies and cakes, you've got to crawl through a little tube." [Telegraph]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Eighth Wonder, an action-adventure movie described as a globe-spanning archeological thriller like Raiders Of The Lost Ark meets the Bourne films. You know what would truly be wondrous? If Nicole's forehead moved. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Madame Sarkozy, aka Carla Bruni, performed on Later… With Jools Holland, appearing alongside Metallica and Kings Of Leon. Sigh. Laura Bush never rocks out on TV. [BBC News]
• Last week, Los Angeles International Airport Police used a "decoy" Jamie Lynn Spears to fool the paparazzi; now somebody is in trouble. LAX Spokesman Albert Rodriguez says: "It is not the policy or practice for Airport Police to provide a celebrity decoy. Los Angeles World Airports policy prohibits special courtesies to be provided to celebrities." But seriously, if the girl has a baby and can't get through the airport without being followed, what are her options? Going Kanye West on mothertruckers? [Yahoo News]
• Oh gawd: Gwyneth Paltrow tells Oprah, "I just cannot diet. It's worth it to me to do that extra exercise so I can eat what I want and not think about it." But she has trouble losing "these 20 extra pounds." WTF. [People]
• According to the director of one of her films, Jessica Biel saw some tiny Ferris wheel in a Hyde Park, London, and said, "Oh, it's the London Eye. I thought it would be a bit bigger." The director exclaims: "She had no fucking idea whatsoever." He seems to find her dim. [ONTD]
• It's pretty obvious that Naomi Watts is pregnant with her second kid. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Miley Cyrus's new dude is not so new, she's known him for like, 3 months. And! This isn't the first time they've gone to church together, ooooh. [Yahoo News]
• Jamie Foxx and Dancing With The Stars' Stacy Keibler were all over each other in Las Vegas over the weekend. But! The very next day, Foxx was grinding on some other blonde. [Rush & Molloy]
• A country music retirement community? I'm picturing porches full of harmonicas, banjos and washboards. In otherwords: Awesome. [UPI]
• So you know how Paris Hilton has a show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF? She claims the "winner" is actually her new best friend. "We hang out. Yeah, we're really friends. We've been having barbecues and hanging out at the house. The winner and I have been pretty low-key so far, because it is top secret right now," she says. [Reuters]
• Famed writer-illustrator Maurice Sendak celebrated his 80th birthday Monday night with Meryl Streep, James Gandolfini, Catherine Keener and director Spike Jonze. (Jonze has adapted Where The Wild Things Are into a film, to be released in October 2009.) Sendak says: "Some of the problems that were mentioned in growing up in New York persist… Eighty solves nothing… So many friends were on the stage tonight and so many people I have worked with and loved — and still love. And what it did was ignite in me a feeling of wanting to continue to work." [Yahoo News]
• Sir Paul McCartney was out at an event with his new ladyfriend, Nancy Shevell, for the first time. Looking forward to the day we stop hearing about Heather Mills? [Telegraph]
• Adrianne Curry has a stalker. (?!?!?) [TMZ]
• Will all the ladies from The Girls Next Door get spinoffs? Hugh Hefner says yes! He's also amazed that the show is a success: "We thought it would be a one-season wonder." [E!]
• Michael Douglas to play a sex addict? Did you know he was rumored to be one in the '90s? [Guardian]
• Jack Nicholson, Jon Bon Jovi and Shaquille O'Neal are among 30 nominees to the New Jersey Hall of Fame. [Yahoo News]
• Take a deep breath, then check out this picture of Jocelyn Wildenstein having lunch with her boyfriend. [The.Life Files]
• "Up until Palin was selected as McCain’s running mate I felt no need to say who I thought should win in November, as long as everyone at least got out and voted for who they thought was the best choice to run this country. After Lindsay pointed out how frightening Palin is I decided that I wasn’t going to remain impartial and posted her blog on my page. That’s all. I’m English, I can’t vote here. If I could I would vote for Obama, that’s all." — Samantha Ronson. [Pop Dirt]
• "I've had sex in all 50 states. A lot of it was on a road trip I took when I was younger. [The best] was in Arizona and Colorado. Maybe it was the clear air, or the quiet, or the endless sky. Whatever it was, it was really, really good. But as for Alaska — I’d really like a do-over on that state." — Eva Mendes. [The Sun]
• "My dad is probably one of the handsomest guys ever. I was making a joke and I said, 'If I was a chick, I'd [bleep] you.' He was like, 'You can't say that! Shut your mouth!'" — Josh Brolin to W. [Page Six]
• "Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases. The shari'a (Islamic religious law) refers to the mouse as 'little corrupter,' and says it is permissible to kill it in all cases. It says that mice set fire to the house, and are steered by Satan. The mouse is one of Satan's soldiers." — Saudi sheik Muhammad al-Munajid. [UPI]

The Los Angeles Times:

After this initial setup, however, "The Women" becomes unfocused as it stumbles over all the points it wants to make. Given English's writing skills, the dialogue doesn't help as much as it should, tending too much toward one-liners that aim for raunchy whenever possible.

Never particularly believable, the story quickly unravels into schematic contrivance and wish-fulfillment fantasy. The actresses all try hard to bring a project they clearly believe in to life, but that is rarely enough.

It's hard to say what's sadder, that "The Women's" intended audience had to wait 14 years for a film like this or that that long wait has been almost for naught.

Entertainment Weekly:

The Women is such an arduous patchwork of ''issues'' it ends up a Frankenstein's monster of a chick flick. The movie is a feminist lesson instead of what it should have been (and once was): a tough, synthetic, high-gloss entertainment that wears its heart on its lacquered fingernails.

Time:

But that does not address the piece's fundamental problem, namely that it is not now and never has been funny. Or even human. In the previous movie version, as in this one (and I'll bet in the play itself) all the actresses strike comedic poses. They sashay about, rolling their eyes, pouting their lips, making big gestures and talking really fast. It's essentially an antique theatrical manner, the falsity of which the movie camera, dialing in for its close-ups (and even its two shots) exposes as relentlessly now as it did 69 years ago. No one ever gets to act — and this is a cast rich in good actresses — if by acting you mean the expression of authentic emotions. They are caught up in a zip-zap frenzy of words — and it is interesting how many lines in this script can be traced back to the Boothe original, which would not have been all that difficult to improve upon.

USA Today:

It's as if English missed the point. The Women was not about the healing bonds of friendship. It was about humorous revenge. Though aspects of the 1939 comedy seem silly and shrill now, they were at least consistently entertaining. Where the original was deliciously loopy and melodramatic fun, this one is watered-down, sappy and earnest.

Salon:

The original, bitchier, less girlfriendy version of "The Women" was a product of a less empowered era. This new version is meant to reflect how far we've come, with ads encouraging us to gather our friends and see it together. Of course the filmmakers want to rally female viewers en masse, because you can be damn sure that nothing with a penis is getting anywhere near this thing.

And yet, contrary to what Hollywood or Washington or Madison Avenue may believe, women don't, in fact, possess a hive mind. We don't all like yoga and eat sticks of butter when we're depressed, and we don't all travel in packs to see crappy movies. Human nature is complicated like that. Why isn't my gender rioting in the streets over this femmey stereotyping BS? I can only hope it's because we've got our hands full fending off the widespread belief that we'll put anybody with two X chromosomes in the White House.

The New York Times:

At the heart of the hectic story is Mary’s discovery that her husband is having an affair with Crystal (Eva Mendes), a gold-digging vixen who works at the perfume counter at Saks Fifth Avenue. The strain of top-down class resentment in the way her character is portrayed — mean, selfish, cheap and vulgar — is perhaps the most shocking thing about the movie, and also, perhaps, the most honest. At bottom, this is less a movie about defending a marriage or battling for a man than it is about the protection of social privilege. Out in the suburbs, the loyal servants stand by their mistress (and seem to have no private lives or desires of their own), while in the city the lower orders scheme and gossip and connive to steal what can never be rightfully theirs.

And of course, the heroic women of “The Women” will not concede without a fight. But rarely has class struggle, or catfighting, for that matter, been so tediously waged. And rarely have so many fine actresses been enlisted in such a futile cause. They all deserved better, and it hurts especially to watch Ms. Bening and Candice Bergen (who plays Mary’s mother) lend their wit and dignity to a project that has so little of its own.

Telegraph:

When George Cukor directed his version of Claire Boothe Luce's play The Women in 1939, he stuck to its main conceit by making the entire movie a male-free zone – unless you count some sexually ambiguous lapdogs in the opening sequence. This week's remake, written and directed by Diane English, obeys the rule reverently (until its final scene), a curious choice for a film that holds womankind in such open contempt. If you don't have anything nice to say about an entire gender, why restrict your options so?

Daily Mail:

To fit in with political correctness and the taste for female bonding which made such a hit out of Sex And The City, an acerbic satire on shallow socialites has been transformed into a cosy celebration of friendship among smug, middle-class women.

This is not an improvement.

The Mirror:

The Women boasts the novelty of not featuring a single man in the entire film, save for a newborn baby boy, while most of the conversation revolves around sex, shopping and plastic surgery which are, apparently, the secrets of a fulfilled life.

Shallow? Definitely. Any good? Not really. And you can’t help watching the thing without thinking of Sex And The City’s dumber cousin.

Premiere:

It would be sad if Tinseltown used this poorly executed remake as proof that there's no audience for female-driven films, because that's not the case at all. The women of America really are hungry for movies made by us, about us, and for us. And we're willing to pony up at the box office to prove it. But that doesn't mean that just any shoddy, "You go girl!" script can earn our loyalty. Please Hollywood: write truthfully for us, and from the heart. It's what Carrie Bradshaw would do.

Related: The Women— Witty Moments (1939) [YouTube]

'The Women' opens today, nationwide.

• Is Gossip Girl pretty boy Chace Crawford set to replace McDreamy as the face of Versace? [Perez Hilton]
• Fashion slang seems to have no regard for a word's actual meaning: "Designer Ashleigh Verrier said her favorite fashion word was "diaphanous" — an adjective characterizing fineness of texture. 'As in, 'That dress is so diaphanous!'' she said. 'I like 'Glamit'," said fashion designer Marc Bouwer, who uses the term for a fashion line. 'It is so gorgeous and glamorous. You don't want to use cliched words.'Designer Thuy Diep said 'prune"'was popular within her fashion crew to express disapproval." [Reuters]
• Vogue-interning hockey playing fashionisto Sean Avery on who should play him in the rumored movie about him: "'Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit, man. I dunno I dunno I dunno I dunno I dunno. Fuck. I dunno!...I don't know anything. That's what casting guys are for! Shit. No questions!'" Sounds like that'll be some sparkling dialogue! [Radar]

• This is like telling us the Earth is flat! An "expert in visual perception" claims that vertical stripes are actually unflattering! Prune! [Guardian]
• As if her life was not sufficiently charmed, stunning editrice spawn Julia Restoin-Roitfeld is now art-directing! "Casting fellow model and brother Vladimir as the male lead, Restoin-Roitfeld art-directed the campaign from start to finish. The result is a super-sexy music-inspired campaign that lends Rock & Republic's image rock and roll cool." [Daily Mail]
• Eva Mendes is feeling her banned CK ad: "It’s very rock ’n’ roll; I kind of like it. I want to do more. I want keep pushing the envelope.” [WWD]
• Apparently "pushing the envelope" means working on a home decor line with Macy's. "The line, created with Mendes' boyfriend, film producer George Augusto, will be called "Vida" and will initially feature five bedding styles." [Crains]
• High-street brands making token (read: "almost no") effort to improve the conditions of overseas manufacturing. [Guardian]
• More on the kinda heartbreaking Sears Fashion Week tent. [AdAge]
• Embattled retailer Steve & Barry's now getting sinister emails from a supplier: "When customers 'happily shop' at the chain, 'they are actually buying clothes … soaking of blood and tears of worldwide vendors,' one e-mail read." [NYT via a href="http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/12/supplier-has-harsh-words-for-steve-barrys/>The Post]
• In honor of fashion week, Luca Luca executives will ring in the closing bell of the NASDAQ Stock Market. Brokers will almost certainly not care. [WWD]
• After years of giving it short shrift, Calvin Klein focuses on high-end collections again. [WSJ]
• Teen spending down. [Portfolio]
• Gok Wan (the British Carson Kressley) on his idols: "Sarah Jessica Parker - she has amazing style, and when I saw her and Vivienne Westwood [another one of Gok’s favourites] on the red carpet at the same time, I didn’t know whether to throw up or fart - I was so excited!" Why not do both? [Mirror]
• Albino model Shaun Ross breaks the mold. [NYT]
• Things are looking gloomy for French Connection. Has FCUK had its day? [FT]
• Fashion minions give the Nuclear Wintour a piece of their minds - okay, anonymously. "Painter Geoffrey Raymond hawked his portrait of Wintour, dubbed The Annotated Anna, to Bryant Park and asked fashionistas to write a message to Wintour on the canvas. Comments ranged from 'Scaaary!'‚ to the more flattering 'You look great without the sunglasses"' Raymond plans to sell the painting on eBay, with a starting bid of $3,500." Wait, that's the best they can do? Pass that thing around Jezebel! [The First Post]
• This pleases us: fashionistas waiting on line get into the Target "pop-up bodegas." [WWD]
• Tory Burch seeks outside investors for her boho-country club empire. [WSJ]

[New York, September 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
Okay, the print may verge on "cow" but this retro silhouette looks amazing on Eva Mendes.
This is how objective I am being: Meg Ryan looks elegant. When did I develop such animosity towards Meg Ryan, anyway? When did we all? Yet, our dislike is implacable.
Debra Messing's frock has a lot going on, but she pulls it off.
I love how everyone's rocking these Mad Men shapes! Debi Mazar's print is in danger of giving me a seizure, but she's got the presence to work it.
Celeste Holm gets a permanent spot in "Good" for her turn in All About Eve.



Special Award:
Don't actually love Lucy Schwartz s outfit, but it's totally age-appropriate, which is a rarity in this day and age!


The Bad:
Jada rarely departs from the figure-hugging sheath, which admittedly looks rad on her. The beading on this one? Not so much. Also I can't stop thinking about how labor-intensive that beading must have been, and it makes me sad that I don't like it.
I have no compunction sticking Diane English's claret-colored frump in the "Bad" after she had the hubris to direct this movie. Yeah, I know: I haven't seen it. But I don't like her outfit.
Kat Kramer is a red-carpet fixture, a sort of really dowdy Phoebe Price whose actual mode of employment is unclear.
If understated elegance is not Erica Hubbard's goal, then, well, she's achieved...not doing that.
Uh oh! Someone forgot her pants!

[Images via Getty]

Sometimes you just have to look at a moddle like Nikki Phillips and go, okay, I get it: If I wore that it would look like a sack. This is a legit profession.
Full disclosure, kids: I hate the color purple. Not the Alice Walker novel or the Whoopi Goldberg movie or — perish the thought! — the Oprah-produced musical, just the actual hue. I get intellectually that it's beautiful, but I just can't disassociate it from Glastonbury neo-pagans and Lisa Frank stickers. I guess that means I'm neither creative nor royal. Nevertheless, the cold, logical part of my mind can acknowledge that TV presenter Lizzy Lovett looks lovely.
There is a half-hearted movement afoot to christen these two-part dresses "blirts" or "dirts" or something. We're all for the evolution of language, but not for linguistic Gattica. Kirsty Lee Allan's ensemble will remain a "dress."



The Bad:
You know sometimes on Project Runway someone designs something and you're like, well that sucks, and then they get to the runway and Nina's all, "It's Balenciaga — but it's you!" And Michael's all, "It's American, it's French, it's outer space, it's fabulous," and you just think: I will never understand fashion? Yeah. Eva Mendes.
Zoe Naylor's loud mini is — how do you say? — ugly.
Have you ever had to eat at the home of some hippie who thinks "creativity" is a substitute for "knowing how to cook" and has gone to Chinatown and has a bunch of ingredients he wants to try, and a bunch of random spices? Sara Groen's dress is kind of the equivalent of that.
Is it just me, or is Jaynie Seal's dress too big for her?
I think we've all had moments of considering stuff like this in the party section of Forever21 and thinking, it would be fun and kooky! Unlike Jade McRae, sanity usually prevails.

[Images via Getty]

[Los Angeles, August 21. Image via INF]

• As previously reported, for reasons one can only imagine, Tyra Banks plays first lady in the new issue of Harper's Bazaar. This article reads: "Voguing like a supermodel, Tyra pays homage to Michelle Obama and Jackie Kennedy with pearls, slinky black shift and curly flip, draped against a Barack Obama lookalike and smiling at a tyke playing hide-and-seek à la JFK Jr. Banks confessed that if she were first lady, her Secret Service code name would be 'KMFA: Kiss My Fat Ass.'" Yes. Well. No further comment. [New York Post]
• Tyra also says: "Michelle Obama, you're one hot mama." [WWD]
• Don't worry, Vogue editor-at-large and python duster-enthusiast Andre Leon Talley (who famously stuck Jennifer Hudson in a hideous metallic bolero) will not be messing with the real-life Michelle Obama any time soon, rumors to the contrary. Quoth the less-than-jolly giant, "I think that Michelle Obama does not need advice." [BlackBook]
• Michelle's also on the cover of Ebony. "She wore her own clothing for the shoot —
  including a suit from favored designer Maria Pinto." [WWD]

• They're finally airing that too-hot-for-TV-naked Eva Mendes Calvin Klein ad - albeit after nine pm! The "Secret Obsession" campaign "taps into the secrecy of a private moment - where it's clear that Eva is having illicit thoughts," marketer Lori Singer told WWD. [Page Six]
• Wanna see it? (NSFW, obvs) [E!]
• Everything Lagerfeld touches turns to awesome! Now he's collabing with architect Zaha Hadid on an installation, The Chanel Mobile Art Pavilion, "a gleaming futuristic pavilion with the startling appearance of a glamorous spaceship...a pavilion that, like a handbag, is a completely portable and functional container with vast symbolic potential." Indeed, Kaiser. [Independent]
• Celeb spawn modeling? No! Dakota Johnson, daughter of Don and Melanie Griffith, is in illustrious company: "The model, who is best friends with Demi Moore's daughter Rumer Willis, has just been signed to star alongside the MisShapes' Leigh Lezark and another famous Hollywood child, Isabella Rossellini's daughter Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, to front the new season campaign for Italian fashion house Hogan." [ElleUK]
• Ho-hum. Another naked dame for PETA. This time it's Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard, which is, I guess, at least promoting a healthy body image. [Reuters]
• Speaking of which, designers like Stella McCartney and Alexander McQueen are cashing in on the Olympics. "More and more we are seeing fashion brands getting involved in sports like the Olympics or Wimbledon or the U.S. Open." [Yahoo]
• Shockingly, all those "modeling agencies" on Craig's List aren't on the level. Sadly, a lot of teens are falling prey to them. [The Sun]
• Vids of Lauren Conrad's ads for Avon's new Mark Cosmetics, the younger line. [ONTD]
• An Australian study shows that women are way more concerned with the size on a garment's tag than they should be. "People are paying more attention to the size tag than the price tag and feeling down when they can't fit their standard size." This is why we're all 2s at Banana Republic, people! [Reuters]
• Sudanese model Alek Wek on breaking industry stereotypes: "I was told, 'You can’t make it – you're this, you're that, your nose is too wide, etc.'" [Daily Express]
• Thanks, Vogue: freckles are "in." [The Independent]
• Recessionistas, take note: Patricia Field's podcast on styling H&M. It's actually totally unhelpful, but still kinda entertaining. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Fashion mags launch search for "real women" (because we're so hard to find.) The Condies are searching for veritable dames with "interesting careers" to shoot for "major fashion layouts." So, if that sounds like you and you're between 20 and 30 years old, five foot five and five foot eleven, and wear a 2 to 6 dress size, you qualify to be one of those "real women." [New York Magazine]
• Dior profits way up. [WWD]
• Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. "Kelly Rutherford's baby is a real fashion victim. The hot mom in Gossip Girl was shopping recently in the Hamptons and was overheard saying that she and her husband, German businessman Daniel Giersch, named their nearly 2-year-old boy Hermés Gustaf Daniel Giersch because she loves the Hermes designer label. She also said her husband once worked as a mailman and the messenger god is Hermes." [Page Six]
• The case of the suited crook: "A former Saks Fifth Avenue suit salesman used his access to fine clothes to gain access to Midtown buildings, where he swiped cash and credit cards from empty offices." [New York Post]
• Is some random store ripping off Lanvin's Elaz tees? [Fashionista]
• Cosabella's fall Sex and the City lingerie collection is here. Some feel Charlotte, Miranda are somewhat misrepresented. [Fabsugar]

• Okay, it's slightly less random than it seems: Dempsey's wife, Jillian, has been Avon’s global creative color director since July 2006. Not that this really excuses it. Or why WWD refers to "Unscripted", ominously, as the actor's "first scent." And about that name: does he really want to take credit for ad-libbing the Grey's dialogue? [WWD]
• Meanwhile, in other fragrance news, Josh Hartnett is fronting "Emporio Armani: Diamonds for Men," [ET]
• ...while Eva Mendes is the, um, face of both Calvin Klein's new Secret Obsession perfume and its "Seductive Comfort" underwear line. Quoth the loyal pitchwoman, ""I wear [Calvin Klein] G-strings all of the time on the red carpet and when shooting for a film because you don't see the [panty] lines." [WWD]
• Christian Siriano: "I am honored to be a part of this amazing group of talent!” Siriano said. “It is a dream to work with legends such as [director] Charles Shyer, Uma Thurman and [costume designer] Milena Canonero on a wonderful story filled with creative inspirations." The project? Eloise in Paris. [E!]

Meanwhile, fellow PR winner Jay McCarroll is shilling his wares on QVC. [Blogging Project Runway]
• I think we can all agree that there's no such thing as too many Karl Lagerfeld documentaries. [WWD]
• German Elle celebrated its big 2-0 in Berlin. Yes, Lagerfeld was there. [WWD]
• In one handy reference: the Ethical Fashion Directory. [The Guardian]
• Bravissimo offers "full-figured" nightwear; PJs that actually support. 'Rather than the 'one size fits all' approach, Bravissimo's designs are based on a standard sized back, shoulders and waist but, within each dress size, offer different sizes to account for the fullness of the bust.' [The Star]
• Model Lily Cole in French Playboy, which is allegedly more 'artistic' than the Yank version. Hm. [Fashionista]
• Long-awaited Prada flagship opens in San Francisco. [WWD]
• CondeNast'sFashion Rocks, the worst fashion and music magazine in the history of the universe, will come out in September, and the accompanying concert features Rihanna, Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, Fergie, Mariah Carey, Keith Urban, Kid Rock and Lil Wayne. It'll air on CBS. [E!]
• Yup, the death watch is on for Mervyn's, all right. We feel bad for the chain's founder. [Los Angeles Times]
• That Visa London clothing swap LiLo fronted? Listen to this undemocratic twist: "Participants dropped off unwanted items at collection points over the last six weeks, receiving points on a swipe card. The more exclusive the outfit, the more points they received, which they could spend yesterday on other donated items." Wait, who determined "exclusivity"? [The Observer]
• Russian public schools ban "emo and goth" clothing. [Fashionista]
• "But fashion is also theatre, a world of make believe, and there is nothing more theatrical than revealing the layers of artifice that construct an image, especially when it is done within the image itself. It is like the conjurer's reveal." The intricate dance that is Fashion Photography. [The Guardian]
• Alexander Calder's jewelry, which he mostly made for family and friends, is on display at the Philly Art Museum. And it's amazing. '"He's not a jeweler,"a curator said. "There are no welds. He's working on an anvil and a bench, but he's not doing what jewelers do, not making links or soldering things. He's taking wire and doing stuff with it that no one else was doing. With basic wire."' [NPR]
• New York's Clock Tower Building, a century-old Madison Avenue landmark, is getting a makeover. By Versace. The quietly tasteful fashion house is decorating 55 apartments and a spa. presumably gold, cheetah, tanning beds will figure prominently. [Reuters]
• Betsy Johnson is awesome, has a "man-lover." [WWD]
• Parishoners at St. James United Church of Christ have modified 150 pairs of boxer shorts for wounded veterans, replacing the shorts' side seams with fasteners so they are easier to fit over bulky prosthetics and braces. Good work and probably something that people don't often consider. But the fact that they're bringing the undies to the altar to be blessed on Sunday is just peculiar. [USA Today]
• "Jacques Kaplan, 83, Bold Furrier, Dies." [IHT]
• Designers Kate&Kass name their designs after famous women. They have an Ingrid Newkirk. Also a Benazir Bhutto minidress. [Fabsugar]
• In spite of economic challenges, textile fairs thrive. [WWD]
• Seattle Jezzies: donate gently used prom duds for low-income teens. [,a href="http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/371628_tf222.html?source=rss">Seattlepi]
• Bravo's Runway replacement? UK import Fashion House , which "replicates the workings of the fashion business through a fashion house." Teams of designers will live together and work to create an entire line — rather than just individual pieces — that has the potential to be purchased by commercial buyers.' We want to believe! [New York Magazine]
• British denim brand Lee Copper celebrated its centennial with various one-off collabs: "From the gothic-inspired denim dress complete with Swarovski crucifix designed by Giles, to the vintage denim jacket emblazoned with signature gold lips by Jade Jagger, each and every piece is set to shoot straight to the top of every fashion fan's wishlist." Well, let's not get carried away, here. [ElleUK]

[Paris, July 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
Claudia Schiffer, incredibly chic at Armani.
French fashionista Clotilde Courau wearing this New Look number to the riotously retro Dior show is the equivalent of painting your face with the Patriots logo. Except that this looks stunning.
Helen Mirren, power-dressing to good effect at Armani.
Princess Siriwanwarree Nareerat of Thailand, at Dior.
No one - not Kate Moss, not Lauren Hutton - does dressed-down better than Charlotte Gainsbourg, chicest woman in the world. Here at Givenchy.
There's a lot going on here, but Eva Mendes, at Dior, makes it work.
Not going to lie to you, team. I would get a perverse pleasure out of sticking Nuclear Wintour (at Lacroix) in 'Bad.' But looks like today's not going to be that day. Journalistic ethics, etc.
Who but Wonder Woman could pull off this trying shade of lemon? Lynda Carter, Lacroix.


The Bad:
Socialite and fashionista Becca Thrash looks...how do you say?...not great. I think the problem lies in the necklace. Lacroix.
Not my favorite look on Patricia Arquette, at Dior. The belt, the hem...oh, dear.
If model Joanna Preiss (at Dior) was rocking this with shorts, maybe — maybe — it could just be dressed-down. But the diaphanous skirt takes this in a dangerously middle-school direction.
I can imagine the pressure's on when you've been a fashion icon as Marisa Berenson has. And if she just wanted to say, 'screw this I'm done with fashion' it would be one thing. I mean, I'm not looking iconic right now, either. But she's at the Dior show and I'm at my Grandpa's house.
Incidentally, Liv Tyler's movie, The Strangers, is really scary. I dislike her frock, presumably Givenchy.

[Images via Getty, WENN]

The Good:
Eve is elegant in basic black.

Let me admit right now that I've always been confused as to when exactly Nicole Richie became respectable. Is it when Rachel Zoe styled her? When she hooked up with Joel Madden? Neither of these things seems like the a passport to elegance, but that's why I'm not an A-lister. Anyway, I really like the caftans she's been working lately.

An unfortunate instance of pee-pee stance, but the simple elegance of Rosario Dawson's Little Black shines through.

I think we can all acknowledge that at times Chloe Sevigny's embrace of the avant-garde can be… Less than flattering. This frock provides interest, but remains wearable.

The Bad:

I think Eva Mendes' coral-colored velvet sack speaks for itself.

I just don't get it. I mean, these women's stylists must bring them, like, multiple options, right? And Fergie put this one on and everyone gasped and was like, "That's it!"?

Kimora Lee Simmons (does she still go by "Simmons?") eschews quiet good taste. Or loud good taste.
Words cannot express the depth of my hatred for this shoe trend. And if there were nothing else horrid about it, it foreshortens the leg of a petite dame like Hilary Duff.

The Ugly:

"The Ugly is kind of like the grand prize," mused a friend of mine the other day. If this is true, Lady Victoria Hervey wins it.

Images via Getty

[Los Angeles, June 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Joking or not joking, the dumbest part of this dumb story is that it's not even remotely true. Dudes creamed themselves over Jenny McCarthy back in the day, because she seemed like she'd be really fun to hang out with. Yeah, she'd wipe her snot on you when you weren't looking, but then you'd drink a beer together and chuckle about it and (in your dude fantasy) make out later at the bar. But the assumption that all men think that all women should be perfect "ladies" is laughable, as is Sellers' statement, "If we want to hang out with someone who behaves like a man, we'll hang out with, you know, an actual man." I'm thinking this ass clown — along with NY Mag writer and whiny monogamist Philip Weiss — deserves his own Jezebel justice system along the lines of Missdemeanors. The punishment for Sellers? He must sit in hot car with Cameron Diaz after a three burrito special. With the windows rolled up.

Vulgar Vixens [Details]

• "It's out of control. There's always a different boy and everyone is worried he's going to pull a Halston." That's an anonymous friend of Marc Jacobs on the increasingly-erratic fashion designer. [Page Six]
  
• Ouch: David Lauren was not invited to his girlfriend (of three years) Lauren Bush's cousin Jenna's wedding. You know, Jenna Bush: Daughter of the POTUS. Apparently the Bush clan think David is too old for Lauren. Oh, and also too Jewish? Awkward. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Kristin Davis is pissed about the injustices she faced making the Sex and the City movie: "It's in the contract that we get to keep our outfits, which is a fantastic thing, except that, for me, all of my outfits were samples. I kept my running pants, which I love and wear them a lot, but I was like, Where are my clothes?" [E!]

• Blondes need not apply to model for the lookbook for Lindsay Lohan's new leggings line. [Perez Hilton]
• God is dead: Perez Hilton is getting his own clothing line. For Hot Topic. [Celebitchy]
• The New York Giants' Super Bowl Championship ring was designed by their defensive end Michael Strahan, who told jewelers at Tiffany's he wanted a "Ten-table ring": "When I walk into a restaurant, I want you to be able to see it from 10 tables away." Um, thanks but no. [WWD, 1st item]
• And what does Giorgio Armani think about paying the most in taxes in all of Italy? "I was on a beach when I heard that. I'm not concerned with it." [NYDaily News]
• Cindy Crawford: Regrets, she has some: ""I regret that I wasn't wilder," she says. "I was working and I was nervous. I was the one in the corner with the book, being responsible. I can be wild now. I'll sometimes dance on a table for my husband and his friends. But not naked - those days are gone." [Vogue UK]
• China's latest offense: The exportation of fake Nikes. [LATimes]
• Harper's Bazaar editor-in-chief Glenda Bailey says that her permanent plus one Steven Sumner says she was only awarded with an Officer of the British Empire award because, "I shop for Britain. He thinks OBE stands for 'Owns Bloody Everything.'" [WWD, 4th item]
• It's so hard to be Diane Kruger. Of the goings-on after the Met Costume Institute Gala, she says, "I went to that party at Phillipe, which was way too overcrowded, so I headed down to Bungalow, where I danced with Christian Louboutin. That was fun!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Eva Mendes: Pics of her topless in Italian Vogue here. [Egotastic]
• Donatella Versace is still trying to tell anyone who will listen that her girl Hillary Clinton should wear a dress. [Page Six]
• Karl Lagerfeld's handbag and luggage line is inspired by...Karl Lagerfeld. [Vogue UK]
• Fergie's daughter Princess Beatrice is working at Selfridge's department store during her gap year between high school and uni. How pleb of her. [Telegraph]
• Hermes: Sales up 13.4%. Good for them? [WWD, sub req'd]

<,p>
• Ellen Page,Jane Eyre: Page is set to play Jane Eyre in a new adaptation of the classic novel by Charlotte Bronte. Jane Eyre is a bildungsroman about an orphaned girl who works as a governess for a handsome married man with an insane wife he keeps locked away. Verdict: Just because a film is based on a classic piece of literature doesn't mean that it won't be chock full of female stereotypes (in fact, literature is usually chock full of those!) and Jane Eyre is just about the biggest lovable female victim in English literature.

• Eva Mendes, Queen of the South: Mendes will star as a Mexican woman who escapes to Europe after her boyfriend is murdered and then becomes the reigning drug-smuggler in Spain. She does this all while being hellbent on avenging her murdered boyfriend. Verdict: While the avenging-murdered-lover thing sounds kind of victimy, the drug-smuggling thing sounds kind of awesome. Of course, a woman can't rise to the top unless she has some secret traumatic past haunting her waking and sleeping moments!

• Kirstie Alley, Nailed: Alley will play a veterinarian who cannot remove a nail from her niece's head after an accident. Her niece, played by Jessica Biel, then travels to Washington D.C. to fight for better healthcare and falls in love with a congressman. So quirky! Verdict: Alley's role seems a bit too small to get enough attention to swing it towards any stereotypes.

• Susan Sarandon, Peacock: Peacock is a psychological thriller about a town in the aftermath of a train crash. Sarandon will play the mayor's wife who also runs a woman's shelter. Ellen Page and Cillian Murphy are also set to star. Verdict: There are little details about Sarandon's character, but we imagine it would be pretty difficult to portray a woman who runs a woman's shelter negatively.

"Ellen Page Takes On Jane Eyre" [Variety]
"Queen Appoints Hartnett, Kingsley" [Variety]
"James Brolin Gets Nailed" [THR]
"Susan Sarandon, Josh Lucas Join Peacock" [THR]

[New York, May 5. Image via INFDaily.com.]

The Bad:
The feathers! The gloves! Serena would not approve, Blake Lively.
Yes, the dress is nice enough. But I just can't take seeing Beyonce in one more "Beyonce" dress. Does the girl know no other silhouettes?!
Wh