AHHHH THE BACK. Yeesh. Read… 6/18/13 11:00am 6/18/13 11:00am

It's true, nothing gold can stay, and by "gold" I mean "Two and a Half Men, the worst CBS show you're not watching." While Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer have resigned their contracts for a third season (Kutcher at a $700,000-per-episode payout; Cryer at, I don't know, a gum wrapper and a damp Nickelback ticket stub?), … Read… 4/27/13 11:30am 4/27/13 11:30am

Baby weight: A thing that happens, sometimes. Ways to fix/change it: Tuna melts*, not caring, doing Zumba or some shit, more tuna melts, or encasing yourself in a chamber of horrors like Jessica Alba. In an interview with Net-a-Porter's magazine, Alba divulges her post-pregnancy weight-loss secret after giving birth… Read… 4/26/13 9:00am 4/26/13 9:00am

As Janet Jackson herself predicted in 2001: Maybe we'll meet at a bar / He'll drive a funky car / Maybe he'll be a Qatari-born retail billionaire / And I'll convert to Islam. Sure enough, rumor has it that Jackson has retired from show business for good and adopted the religion of her husband Wissam al-Mana, who she… Read… 4/20/13 11:30am 4/20/13 11:30am

In a new spot for Sheba, Eva Longoria shimmies in front of the fireplace, dances on the furniture and generally acts like we do when we're home along listening to Rihanna, except there's no booze or half-eaten lo mein. Is this the foxiest cat food commercial ever? Eva says: Read… 3/08/13 10:20am 3/08/13 10:20am

As is the case with many a dad/manager, I could have told you something was going on with former youth pastor and Baptist minister Joe Simpson. All those icky comments about daughter Jessica's breasts? That DUI he got in Sherman Oaks in August? His divorce from Tina, his wife of 34 years, late last month? Supposedly,… Read… 10/24/12 9:00am 10/24/12 9:00am

"Magical," "unforgettable" and "fantasy" are just a few of the gushing adjectives used by Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake to describe their hella expensive Italian wedding (soup), even though not everyone was as happy (N*Sync was excluded from the 100-person guest list; they are "are pretty upset about it"). Nevertheless, … Read… 10/23/12 9:00am 10/23/12 9:00am

I never disliked Eva Longoria, per se, but I never really liked her, either. I wasn't indifferent, but I also didn't quite know what to do with her. You know? She seemed like your typical pretty actress doing her pretty actress stuff with bouncy hair in shows I did not watch. I knew she was teeny and she married… Read… 10/19/12 4:35pm 10/19/12 4:35pm

The major political conventions are over! Boo, say nerds. Hooray, say people who just want their regular network TV shows back and journalists who are probably exhausted from two weeks straight of talking points, hats embellished with donkeys and elephants, and stadium food. While the seemingly endless stream of vague… Read… 9/07/12 7:40pm 9/07/12 7:40pm

Rihanna, God of Patron Shots and Cigarette Butts and Hangovers and General Chaos, almost got thrown out of a London nightclub after she supposedly jumped on a glass table, fell, smashed it and then started screaming "Don't you know who I am?" when the doorman started kicking her out (which undoubtedly sounds less dick… Read… 9/01/12 11:30am 9/01/12 11:30am

The good news is that we've transitioned into the Overanalysis of Interviews post-mortem phase of the Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart infidelity drama (alias Sparklegate), which means we are one step closer to hearing nothing more about it, ever again. The bad news is that a moment in K-Stew's pre-cheating scandal… Read… 8/25/12 11:30am 8/25/12 11:30am

Italian magazine Amica seems to have Photoshopped all of the Eva Longoria out of Eva Longoria's face. There are no missing limbs or facial features, and Longoria doesn't look "bad," per se — she just looks absolutely nothing like herself. As side-by-side comparison with this recent news wire photo amply demonstrates. Read… 6/26/12 3:40pm 6/26/12 3:40pm

Someone broke into Kanye West's Hollywood Hills mansion and possibly stole stuff (or possibly didn't), causing the world's proudest MTV blogger to come up with this sentence: "Kanye West learned to keep his love locked down, but he may want to work on his home security system." Zinggggggggg (imagine those g's going on… Read… 6/13/12 8:00pm 6/13/12 8:00pm

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got engaged back in December, but for a while it seemed like maybe a wedding was never going to happen. First, there was the mystery of the missing engagement ring, no sign of Jessica at Justin's birthday party, and then the reported haggling over a prenuptial agreement. But it looks… Read… 2/24/12 8:00pm 2/24/12 8:00pm

Today in Tweet Beat, we're wondering what the hell kind of dental coverage CNN provides. Plus, 50 Cent plans to be much more influential in your life in the coming years. Discuss… 7/13/11 7:30pm 7/13/11 7:30pm