• Jessica Alba put up posters of sharks in Oklahoma City — defacing a United Way billboard — and then took pictures of herself, arms raised victorious. Turns out…

The landlocked city wasn't too keen on being plastered with shark posters and the United Way — a non-profit — will have to pay to have them removed. Alba has released a statement which reads: "I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident." By the by, the "campaign" is supposed to raise awareness of Great White sharks, not that the posters have any text about that, anywhere. [TMZ]

• Kendra Wilkinson: Pregnant. [Perez]
• LOL: "Beyoncé drives 15 yards from hotel to go shopping." Involved: Two chauffeur-driven cars and a "group" of bodyguards. [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt hit up the Art Basel event in Switzerland and purchased a swirly oil painting of a race car (seen here) for just under one million bucks. [WSJ]
• Madonna is "on top of the world" and "just days away" from adopting Malawian kid Mercy James, who will arrive in NYC via private jet. [The Sun]
• Britney is trying to get rid of London concert tickets, selling them at the bargain-basement price of £2. [The Sun]
• And! A '"source" is confirming that Britney is dating her agent, Jason Trawick, whom she "always had a crush" on and is also one of her brother Bryan's best friends. [People]
• Uh-oh, Tonys drama: Even though Neil Patrick Harris was joking about it, and immediate word was that Bret Michaels was okay, Bret was never informed that the set piece would be descending — so he did not "miss a mark," as reported. And Bret's rep says: "Had this incident happened to Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton or Elton John the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern." True that! [Rolling Stone]
• Kanye West and Amber Rose: Dunzo. In a word: Boo. They were hot together. [Page Six]
• Take a moment and read this great piece, in which John Krasinski interviews Maya Rudolph. [BlackBook]
• Chris Brown was at a club in Miami, and so was Khloe Kardashian, but a source makes sure to say: "They were not there together. [E!]
• Congrats to Thomas Beattie, the "pregnant man," who has given birth to his second child, a baby boy. [ABC News]
• "Jon & Kate more popular than Brangelina?" Apparently the People issue with Jon on the cover sold very well. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Headline of the day: "Tina Fey: Let's Face It; She Rocks." [LA Times]
• Ugh, these two are seriously playing things out in the press way too much: Kelly Rutherford's estranged husband says he wasn't notified of his daughter's birth on Monday night and had to read about it on the Internet like the rest of us plebes. [People]
• Good news: Mad Men and AMC have settled that dispute over the two minutes that were going to be cut. The solution: The show will run over into the 11pm hour. No complaints here! [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ugh, why, why?!?! "David Carradine Sex Toy Shopping List." [TMZ]
• The Australian Prime Minister is calling Gordon Ramsay a "new form of lowlife" after the chef called a female TV presenter a pig and a lesbian in front of 3,000 people at a live cooking show. [Independent]
• Gordon Ramsay has apologized for his comments, saying he realized "with hindsight" that what he said was inappropriate. But it can't be undone, sir! [The Star]
• Even Gordon Ramsay's mother was "disgusted" by his remarks. [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Set your DVR: Kathy Griffin will visit the Late Show with David Letterman for the first time in 12 years. [UPI]
  
• Want to see a picture of Mickey Rourke as Whiplsh in Iron Man 2? Click the link! [USA Today]
• Ever one to keep the world guessing, Lauryn Hill has canceled all of her European tour dates. [Yahoo News via AP]
• At the Apollo Theater's 75th Anniversary concert, Prince called Patti LaBelle "My mother, my teacher, my cook and my stylist." [Gatecrasher]
• James Van Der Beek and wife: Splitsville. Hoping someone will use that awesome weepy Dawson animated gif! [Us Weekly]
• Q: How do you maintain your ageless beauty? What beauty products would we find in your bathroom? Vanessa Williams: "Twice a year I receive Botox injections from a doctor whom I trust very much. I also have some favorite beauty products that I use on a daily basis-Perfekt's Skin Perfection Gel and Mila Moursi's moisturizing oil." Q: What defines sexy for you in terms of your own personal style at 46? Vanessa Williams: " Being at ease with yourself and your body is sexy. Every woman should accentuate their best assets and not be afraid to show them off." [Essence.com]
• Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson's son Colin Hanks got engaged, and Rita gave the bride-to-be a $10,000 handbag as congratulations. What will the wedding gift be??? [Page Six]
• For some reason, it is "newsworthy" that Katie "Jordan" Price is taking kickboxing. In fact, this paper spins it as she's "getting fit for her divorce." Dumb. [The Sun]
• Usher was seen entering a hotel with a woman who works at a record label. Business or pleasure? [Page Six]
• Etta James' At Last — along with twenty four other "culturally significant recordings" — have been selected for preservation in the sound archives of the Library Of Congress' National Recording Registry. [USA Today]
• "Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees is lending his voice to the fight for artists' rights in the age of digital piracy." [Breitbart]
• "Bombshell: He has been hailed as the greatest living Welshman, but records of Sir Tom Jones's ancestry have revealed the awkward truth: he is three-quarters English." [Times Of London]
• Blind item! "Which music man brings along three necessities on all his tours: men in tight shorts, muscular food servers and Persian rugs?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was totally a publicity stunt. 100%. I have her [Peaches] on retainer. Not as my PR, as my friend. On my personal payroll. She's my friend for money. She also orchestrates publicity stunts for me." — Max Drummey, Peaches Geldof's ex-husband, joking (?) about their marriage. [Daily Mail]
• "It's been really unpleasant and makes you feel really vulnerable. But the fact of the matter is that we did not lose everything. We lost hard-earned money that we worked very hard for that was what we thought in a safe place. It's painful but a lot of people lost a lot more. And we have a lot of things to be grateful for in our life, and we never ever forget that." — Kyra Sedgwick on she and Kevin Bacon investing with Bernie Madoff. [AP]
• "My uncle owned a camp in Minnesota, a girls' camp that's still up and running called Camp Birchwood. All the cool things I know how to do, I learned how to do at camp… Like carry a canoe on my back for miles and miles. That's kind of cool." — Julia Roberts, who was at an event raising money for Paul Newman's Hole in the Wall camps. [USA Today]
• "Separate 'sexist' from 'sex.' There's a lot of discussion about sex on the show, and I think people have a knee-jerk reaction: 'Oh, my God, that's sexist!' People kind of lose their minds as soon as they hear the word or prefix 'sex.'" — David Duchovny. [LA Times]
• "I thought back to when I was in high school: I was very into music, but the equipment was really expensive and hard to get a hold of. The basketball court at school was free. Or it was free to play a violin or a drum set, but the way music on the radio is made, there was nothing in high school that helped with that." — Kanye West, on the the Kanye West Foundation, a charity which helps kids learn to write music and use music studio equipment. [USA Today]
• "There was no one who inspired me or who I thought was worthy." — Paul McCartney, on why he didn't vote in he European elections. [Telegraph]
• "Ryan is rock hard, but no no no no, nothing was hard. I'm sure it gets hard, but not that time, and it was all fine. I mean, I wouldn't know if he had anything down there because I never looked!" — Sandra Bullock on her nude scene with Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Q: How do you keep that body in shape? When I told a friend I was talking to you, he said, "Ask her how she gets that ass!" A: "I wasn't blessed in the upstairs department. Baby was given some back at birth. Didn't know what to do with it at first, but it's just what I got. The purpose is to maintain it and keep it where it is. I was an athlete all my life. I have an athlete's body. I don't have a model's body. We also get paid to go to the gym. But you know, I get lazy just like everyone else. I'm not a fanatic. I love to feel good, but I'll put on weight. But if you're getting paid to be naked, you do put the incline on six and stay on there a little bit longer because it's like, If my ass is going to be on camera, let's make sure it's in the right place when they start rolling film." — Sandra Bullock. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "My whole theory on this part is, I won the lottery. Not only am I on this show with incredible writers and all that, but I've been given a part they can have play good stuff and bad stuff, all at once. I'm not just in the comedic parts, I'm not just in the dramatic parts, it's an incredible role in which you can kind of ride the rail between both things." — John Krasinski, on The Office. [LA Times]
• "She's out there drinking and partying and she should not be doing that. People see her drinking. She should stay away from it. With the drugs, I think she's in a much better place than she used to be. But I have a problem with her being even on prescription medication." — Michael Lohan on daughter Lindsay. [Perez]
• "Truth… autographs R annoying." — Ashton Kutcher. [Perez]
• "I'm proud of my sexuality . . . I embrace it. [But] I'm trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader." Adam "Glambert" Lambert. [Page Six]
• "I do not wear, buy or own fur or animal skin other than leather or skin of animals raised for feeding pur poses. I am not a vegetarian and I don't find it illogical to wear skins of animals whose meat is also eaten. I would gladly consider giving away sable, fox and other fur coats — if I owned any." — Carla Bruni, in a letter to PETA. [Page Six]
• I think Susan has an amazing voice. But she needs to work on the pose. I think she should come up with something new, since she's such a huge celebrity now. I suggest getting a stylist. She could look really hot if she just wore some pretty dresses." — Paris Hilton on Susan Boyle. [Mirror]

• Etta James says when she was ripping Beyoncé about singing "At Last" for the President, "I didn't really mean anything…"

"Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude." Sure, sure. [The Life Files via NY Daily News, ONTD]

• The Obamas were reportedly "stunned" by Etta James' remarks. [TMZ]
• The Times asks, re: Heath Ledger, "So how do you run an Oscar campaign for someone who is no longer with us?" [NY Times]
• Angelina Jolie will produce a film called Resilient, in which Mariane Pearl will interview five women who have overcome odds to bring change to their communities. That's right, Saint Angie has six kids and a movie to create, get out of her way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ryan Reynolds looks Photoshopped into waxy zombie territory on the cover of Men's Health. But good for him for running a marathon to raise funds for Parkinson's. [Socialite Life]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil's divorce could get nasty: Blake Incarcerated is "compiling a dossier" of all the dudes Amy slept with and wants them to testify to prove that Amy was unfaithful during their marriage. What kind of fuckery is this? [The London Paper]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron is being sued by a dude he struck with his car at a gas station a year ago. [TMZ]
• Apparently Kate Hudson's new guy, Aussie golfer Adam Scott, is better for her than Owen Wilson, because Owen would "point out her imperfections all the time" and Kate would always seen pictures of Owen with other women in magazines. Also: Adam is hot. [E!]
• Here's the Sarah Jessica Parker story from Bazaar. SJP talks about being Carrie Bradshaw: "I got to wear such incredible things, and you make such mistakes and there's such hits and great triumphs and there's incredible wrong, wrong, wrong. But it's so much fun." Oh! And she wore an Alexander McQueen dress to an SATC event in New York: "I actually had to cut myself out of that dress that night. My husband was out of town, so I was alone when I got home, and I couldn't unzip it. So…I got out the scissors." [Bazaar]
• Oh, God: Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman just signed on for a romcom called The Baster. They'll play best friends, but when he learns she's gonna get pregnant through artificial insemination, he replaces the donor's semen with his own. This is not a joke. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's Lily Allen dressed as a boy in a spoof of a chocolate commercial. [Daily Mail]
• In this article, Liv Tyler invites the interviewer back to her house and talks about the "sad parts" — empty spaces where her ex-husband has moved out. [Wonderland Magazine]
• Whoops! The BBC aired Christian Bale's infamous tirade without bleeping out the swearing. [The Star]
• Fantasia plans to get her high school degree — she dropped out of the ninth grade about ten years ago. "I've been talking about it for so long," she says. "I have a lot of young people who look up to me, like my 15-year-old brother and 7-year-old daughter. It's something that I really need to do and that I want to do." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Guy Ritchie: Seen singing show tunes in a gay bar. [Page Six]
• We've heard this before but here it is again: Lily Allen couldn't stay with her 45-year-old boyfriend because the sex was bad. [Mirror]
• Long interview with Justin Long, promoting He's Just Not That Into You. Guess what? He's not like his character. "I'm not good at reading signs - I don't like deciphering. I don't like to play the games, like 'When am I supposed to call?' " he says. [USA Today]
• Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are in luuuuuv. [Daily Mail]
• Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are selling their San Antonio home for about $900,000. Take a slideshow tour and check out the pretty pool and basketball court! [WSJ]
• Dev Patel, who has been nominated for a Best Actor Bafta, says of Slumdog Millionaire: "It has never claimed to be a documentary. It is a movie. It is entertainment. I spent five months out here filming and really got a chance to see the slums close up and I think the film depicts them accurately enough. Mumbai really is a city of extreme contrasts. If you step out of a five-star hotel here you can be facing a slum." [Telegraph]
• Speaking of Dev Patel, he and Freida Pinto were about to be on Tyra's show when a woman in the audience had a seizure. They signed a copy of the Slumdog soundtrack and slipped it to her as she sped off in an ambulance. Music heals, you guys. [Page Six]
• Soap operas are wiping out top stars because the economic downturn means they can't pay the actors. Days Of Our Lives lost four couples! [NY Post]
• Another day, another story about John Cleese's package. [Page Six]
• Kelly Cutrone, whom you may have seen on The City or The Hills, is getting a reality show based on her fashion PR company. Expect dramz! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which young magazine editor dispenses bags of blow to Hollywood starlets so they can be 'extra up' for the photo shoots he arranges?" [Gatecrasher]
• Paris Hilton chatted Fergie up about her wedding and honeymoon, but when Fergalicious walked away, Paris quipped to sister Nicky, "Ha, my engagement ring was bigger!" This paper points out: Yeah, Paris, but which one of you is actually married? [Gatecrasher]
• Russell Simmons has a juicy new squeeze, and she is a grapefruit heiress. [Gatecrasher]
• The new Gossip Girl plotline will be very similar to Anne Hathaway's love life: A hottie swindler will sweep Serena off her feet. [Gatecrasher]
• Jade Jagger is married, according to her Facebook status. Also, she started a music, fashion and art company called, uh, Jezebel. Her middle name. [Daily Mail]
• Will Val Kilmer run for governor of New Mexico in 2010? He says probably! "What I do for a living is listen. If I run, I'm going to be the next governor." [CBS News via AP]
• "I used to have claustrophobia inside the cinema because I didn't like it in the dark. I missed out on films as a kid. Now I'm better watching films on DVD with friends around than on my own. — Judi Dench. And! "The difference between theatre and cinema is that once you've done a film, it's over. With Nine, two days after I'd recorded my singing part, I did the performance I felt I should've done – in my bathroom." [Daily Express]
• "We haven't found any reason to stop yet. It's chaos at times, but there's such joy in the house. We have the capability to give a child a home and, let me tell you, it's selfish too because the reward has been extraordinary. [Twins are] just double the fun. It's surprising how soon their personalities have started emerging. But it's really important that everyone gets their individual time as well as group time together, and that's a big focus of ours. We were four before, and we got into our rhythms and it worked – but everyone's pretty well integrated." — Brad Pitt, on adding kids to his brood. [Mirror]
• "I've tried, but I'm just not into text sex. You only have a few lines to get your point across, and I don't like that. I also don't know who my text-sex partner is showing my messages to. I could be viewed as a text slut through no fault of my own." — Ginnifer Goodwin. [Gatecrasher]
• "Gigi is the closest I've ever come to playing myself. I've never been interested in playing someone so like myself. But I fell in love with her. I humiliate myself on a daily basis. I have been known to Google-stalk. I've certainly caught myself flirting in such a way that I feel nauseous afterward when I think of what I said. And I'm so guilty of the long linger." — Ginnifer Goodwin, on her character in He's Just Not That Into You. [USA Today]
• "You're pretending you're feeling the same emotion as when you wrote the song. I'm not trying to have pretend good sex, I'm trying to have good sex." — Duffy, on her tactic when filming music videos. [The Sun]
• "Angelina and I are together because we can enhance each other. I don't want to waste any time because I'm with company I really, really love." — Brad Pitt. [Mirror]
• "It's a great job, but it doesn't leave time for what's important, like having a family. I want to live in the country and have a walled garden with chickens and pigs." — Lily Allen, on being a pop star. [Mirror]
• "I was kind of seeing this guy and then it was over. So I texted my godmother in Jamaica and told her and as a joke I said, 'Maybe my next conquest should be Simon Cowell.' You know when someone is in your mind and you accidentally text them? He replied, 'Sorry?'" — Lily Allen, on accidentally propositioning Simon Cowell. [The Sun]
• "My son! My husband! Food! Oh, fashion? I don't know. A good bra?" — What Sarah Jessica Parker can't live without. [Bazaar]
• "I think pop culture has done a number on creativity, because for me to make that statement [that I'm into acting], I get the reaction: 'Really?' It's like, 'Yeah, why wouldn't I?' The opportunity is there. It's sort of like, I have a day job, and this becomes a hobby (that) I can plunge into with full creative eagerness." — Justin Timberlake, to Katie Couric. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I stopped reading all fashion and trash magazines. I don't want to be influenced any more by what's in and what's out and what makes somebody cool or not cool. In the middle of the night I'd go and take a pee, and on the bathroom floor would be a magazine, and I found myself memorizing banal headlines like 500 Best Black Tops. So I read only books – A Farewell To Arms, it's a heartbreaker, oh god – and decoration magazines." — Liv Tyler. [Wonderland Magazine]
• "I have to say really, I feel better than I ever felt in my life. I did have a moment, though, over the weekend my first like huh… I don't want to [turn 40]. I found a really long gray hair and it kind of flipped me out. It's not my first but it's the fact that it was so long. I was like, 'Oh that's been there. How many others are there, and what does that mean? It actually brought me to tears slightly." — Jennifer Aniston, on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. [People]

• The office of the doctor who prescribed Anna Nicole Smith methadone 13 days before she gave birth was raided today and police are looking for a connection between the doctor and lawyer Howard K. Stern.

• The California Medical Board is looking for evidence that Dr. Sandeep Kapoor was writing prescriptions for Stern so he could give the pills to Anna. Kapoor has already broken the law by writing prescriptions for the pregnant Anna Nicole under a fake name. [TMZ]
• This video is meant to demonstrate that Dannielynn is the "spitting image" of her mom, but as adults hover around the two-year-old and photograph her, it just seems sad that no one learned from her mom's relationship with the media and decided not to put the toddler on camera. [E!]
• Former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter struggled with drugs and alcohol for years, but decided to get sober when he found out he has a life threatening heart condition. Now he says he's healthy and in the best shape of his life, and there are locker wall-worthy photos to prove it. [People]
• In other boy band news, New Kids on the Block's Jonathan Knight has been outed by his former boyfriend in the National Enquirer. Reportedly, he realized he was gay after dating Tiffany. [Boy Culture]
• At last! Audio of Etta James dissing Beyonce and Barack can be found here. [This Is 50]
• Gossip Girl is planning a plot for the end of this season based on Anne Hathaway's romance with Italian grifter Raffaello Follieri. Surely this is much more exciting than her Oscar nomination. [Entertainment Weekly]
• The latest of the Christian Bale parodies has Rahm Emanuel going off on Tom Daschle, and you can listen to it here. [Jossip]
• In this video, a man dressed in a Batman costumes terrorizes tourists, performing the Christian Bale rant. Has this gone too far already? [TMZ]
• Here's the full text of Bale's diatribe, in case you want to don a Newsies costume and frighten some tourists yourself. [The Telegraph]
• Steven Soderbergh may direct Moneyball, based on the MIchael Lewis book Moneyball: The Art of Winning An Unfair Game. The film will star Brad Pitt. [Variety]
• Jewel will be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars. [Perez Hilton]
• This article dubs Kate Winslet the "Queen of Cleavage" and recounts the history of her breasts, claiming they have "become so important they are starting to take on a life of their own." [Telegraph]
• Sources say Usher's wife isn't happy being left in Atlanta with their two sons while he records his new album, but people involved with the record had enough of her meddling when he was working on his last project. [Perez Hilton]
• Shield your eyes, Notebook fans. Here's the first picture of Rachel McAdams kissing her new boyfriend, Josh Lucas. [Perez Hilton]
• Ricki Lake is going to take over Sharon Osbourne's role as Headmistress on the third season of Charm School. [PR Newswire]
• Jason Wahler, Lauren Conrad's ex, says though he likes Whitney, he can't believe The City got picked up for a second season because it was "a terrible show." [Perez Hilton]
• Hugh Grant drove up to his house with former girlfriend Jemima Khan, who he dated for three years, but when they spotted photographers they got back in the car and drove away. [The Daily Mail]
• Patrick Swayze has sold Simon & Schuster the rights to a book he plans to write with his wife about his life before and after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [Crain's]
• Ricky Gervais thinks it's hilarious that his satirical letter to President Obama, which says he'll try to get Posh to leave the U.S. if Obama recalls Paris Hilton from the U.K., has been reported in the media. He says: "I'd love to think that somewhere there is an adviser sitting with the president saying: 'OK, so let me see if I've got this straight. 1. Withdraw from Iraq 2. Sort out education in the poorest communities and 3. Swap Posh for Hilton." [UPI]
• The U.S. and U.K. show Secret Millionaire in which rich people go undercover in poor neighborhoods and hand out money, is being adapted to capitalize on the success of Slumdog Millioniare. Secret Slumdog Millionaire will follow the same premise but be set in Mumbai, though officials have already complained that the residents are stereotyped in the film. [E!]
• Martha Stewart is suing oven-maker TurboChef because she promoted their products on her show and website and never received the company stock and cash she was promised in return. [TMZ]
• In addition to his many other charms, Daniel Craig is a good Samaritan. At a party, British journalist Sir Peregrine Worsthorne lost his hearing aid and Craig led the search, not hesitating to get down on his hands and knees or stick his hand into the kitchen garbage. He didn't even punch Sir Peregrine when the hearing aid was found stuck in his shirt. [The Daily Express]
• Dame Judi Dench reveals that she was once locked out of the Oscars for arriving late. She didn't mind because Morgan Freeman was locked out with her. [The Star]
• Duff McKagan of Guns N' Roses has a new finance column in Playboy. The Economist reports: "He took an interest in business after getting off drugs in 1994." [The Economist]
• A court ruled that 50 Cent won't have to pay half his assets, about $50 million, to the mother of his 11-year-old son, even though she says 50 promised to "take care of her for life." [TMZ]
• Paul Walker, 35, proposed to his 19-year-old girlfriend over the weekend. Paul, who has a 9-year-old daughter, "can't wait to add more kids to his life" according to a source. [Star]
• Proof kids should not try Quidditch at home: a stuntman working on the new Harry Potter film fell while rehearsing a flying stunt and is now unable to move his hands or legs after sustaining a spinal cord industry. His family says he has vowed to get better and return to work on the film. [UPI]
• Eminem is thrifty, and surprisingly sweet. He once called his manager to ask if he had enough cash to buy a $15,000 watch. His manager told him to go for it, but Eminem decided not to, saying "I don't want to run out of money, I want my daughter to be able to go to college." [U.S. News & World Report]
• Holly Madison wrote on her blog that her job at Playboy was real and she didn't quit just because she left The Girls Next Door. Holly writes: "If I had wanted a fake career for Girls Next Door I would have stuck with the jewelry line because that required very little of my time. I spent way more than full time directing shoots, editing, making mock layouts and approving retouching." [Perez Hilton]
• If things don't work out with John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston could always become a Rock of Love contestant. Bret Michaels says he has a crush on Jen because, "she seems like someone you could take home to meet mom — yet, behind closed tour bus doors, she could rock your world." [Us]
• Jennifer Connelly says that men will enjoy He's Just Not That Into You just as much as women. "There must be a reason why Ben Affleck wanted to do it and Bradley Cooper and Louie Guzman is in it, Kevin Connolly, Justin Long," she says. Yes, there must be a reason, we just can't figure out what it is. [CBS News]

• At a concert in Seattle, Etta James said:

"You know, YOUR President, the one with the big ears? He ain't MY President. Had that woman singing for him at his Inauguration. She's going to get her ass whooped." [This Is 50, DListed, TMZ, NY Daily News]

• Miley Cyrus on her "racist" picture: "I've also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I'm sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context! In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy?" There's more of this non-apology if you click the link. [ONTD]
• Angelina Jolie, goodwill ambassador for the U.N. Refugee Agency, is asking the government of Thailand to give more freedom to thousands of Burmese refugees. "I was saddened to meet a 21-year-old woman who was born in a refugee camp, who has never even been out of the camp and is now raising her own child in a camp," Jolie said in a UN statement. No word on whether she is trying to adopt any Burmese kids. [AP]
• Britney's diaries: Stolen! And since her dad is making a deal for her to pen a few books over the next 10 years, she needs them to write her memoirs! What's in the journals and video interviews? Brit hears voices, had an abortion, reveals the real reason she shaved her head and threatens to kill her children. As always, consider the source on this. [National Enquirer]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi is suing Britney and her parents for "defamation, libel and battery." [NY Daily News]
• While in Rio, Tom Cruise has been saying hola and gracias to everyone. Of course, in Brazil, they speak Portuguese and not Spanish. [Page Six]
• Michael Phelps spoke about his bong pic: "It's something I am going to have to live with and something I'll have to grow from. I know with all of the mistakes I made, I learned from them and that is what I expect to do from this. By no means it is fun for me, by no means is it easy." Then he had to go because he had the munchies. [AP]
• James Franco has been named Harvard's Hasty Pudding Man of the Year. The roast is February 13. [AP]
• Madonna basically swept her new man, Jesus Luz, off of his feet. Luz's former modeling agent says the two met at a W magazine shoot: "We did the shoot, and I never saw him again. She loves him and asked him to go to New York. It was something very strong, because one day everybody was like, 'Oh my god, where is Jesus? He's disappeared. After he went to the shoot, he never came back. He moved to São Paulo with the crowd of Madonna, and they changed his number, and they don't let him talk to me anymore. He asked me to close his contract and I did." Now Luz is in New York with her Madgesty, working for Ford models. Upgrade! [E!]
• Why did Jessica Alba drop so much weight after giving birth? "I did it for the Campari job. [The workouts] were horrible. I cried. And I haven't worked out since." [Elle]
• Scarlett Johansson understands men, except for one thing: "Why do they have nipples? That has always amazed me." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Salma Hayek is launching the second annual Pampers/UNICEF program to stop the spread of maternal and neonatal tetanus. She explains: "I've done a lot of social work, primarily with abused women and women's rights. I had the baby and I had so much on my plate, and I said that this year, I'm taking a break from charity. I cannot do it all. But then this came along. And I said no. Then I read what it was, and I was so screwed because you cannot walk away from this one." [USA Today]
• Carla Bruni's family castle near Turin, Italy, has been sold to an Arab sheik for $9 million. What about your family castle? Is it made of sand? [Page Six]
• Prince Charles appears in the new Oasis video, through some creative editing. [Daily Mail]
• Holly Madison is dunzo. In addition to ditching Hugh Hefner, she's quit working for Playboy as an "editor." More time for wondrous illusions with boyfriend Criss Angel? [Perez]
• What does Lady GaGa want for Valentine's Day? "A good fuck and some carbohydrates." [The Sun]
• Orlando Bloom has signed onto a sci-fi flick called The Cross. Set in the near future, Orly plays a man seeking to cross a mysterious border, something no one else has achieved. He's good at pirates and elves, will he be good at a future-man? [Variety]
• Ang Lee protégé Tang Wei has landed her first role since starring in sexy spy thriller Lust, Caution and being banned in mainland China. [AP]
• Patrons at super British restaurant Tea & Sympathy in the West Village, NYC, got to watch Rupert Everett get up and recite his lines for an upcoming Broadway play. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher wasn't going to look at the Hard Rock Girls calendar because he didn't want to piss off Demi Moore, but Demi said, "I don't give a fuck if you look at that thing." [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen was at a party and "She kept telling people she wasn't drinking because she was on heavy doses of Percocet, as she had just had her wisdom teeth removed. Not that anyone cared - everyone was twice her age!" [Gatecrasher]
• What the world needs now: A reality show featuring freshly rehabbed Sean Stewart, as he — wait for it — starts his own fashion line. [Page Six]
• Benji Madden: Dating Audrina Patridge? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which starlet did more than get wet with an uber-famous athlete in a pool? On top of that, a gridiron god walked in and got a gander at the action - and the twosome's pile of cocaine." [Gatecrasher]
• Aww, Jessica Simpson's flick, Major Movie Star — now titled Private Valentine — is now available on DVD, having skipped theaters all together. [NY Daily News]
• No one likes Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP. [NY Post]
• Terrence "Baby Wipes" Howard's eyes will haunt your soul as he stares at you from the new cover of Ebony. [The Life Files]
• News network and Oasis fan MSN is launching a new gossip site called Wonderwall. The tone will be "edgy but respectful." [Reuters]
• Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan: SO ON. [This Is London]
• Kylie Minogue's hot hot man took her to meet his family in Spain. [This Is London]
• RIP Lux Interior, the lead singer of the Cramps. [BoingBoing]
• "My mom went on a date with Jimi Hendrix. My dad was a part of Strawberry Fields Forever and hung out with Timothy Leary. My parents have stories. They probably have better stories than I do. And they found God. They needed to find God. Not that they needed to find God, but God found them, really. I stopped trying to change them at 21." [Daily Mail]
• "Katy is our daughter and we love her but we strongly disagree with how she is conducting herself at the moment. We cannot cut her out of our lives as she is our child but she knows we disagree strongly with what she is doing and the message she is promoting regarding homosexuality which the Bible clearly states is a sin. But the Bible also promotes understanding and forgiveness, which I keep reminding myself. Katy is not a homosexual but I fear she has been led astray by the Hollywood crowd. I pray all the time that God will work through her and help her find salvation." — Katy Perry's mom. [Daily Mail]
• "I wore a girdle. Eight weeks after my girlfriend had her baby, you could see her six-pack. She told me to put an elastic band around my waist – any kind of band or girdle works. She was like, 'I slept in it.' I didn't recover as fast as she did. I don't have a six-pack – that's just not my body at all." — Jessica Alba. [Elle]
• "When I was in the full make-up, we had the kids come to the set, and I tried to prepare them for the moment. Their mommy tried to explain to them that 'that's daddy'. But it didn't phase them. They didn't even comment on it." —Brad Pitt on filming The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. [Independent]
• "I make fun of me all the time. I'm like, 'Call me Mr. Carey, who cares?'" — Nick Cannon. [MSNBC]
• "I'm going big. It's all about the hairdo. I love being blonde a bit more at the moment. It's so much fun. I was so focused on work that I hadn't reinvented my look in so long and I love to reinvent. It gives you a whole new attitude. It's a little scary to get out of your safe zone but I love change. It's fun and I embrace it." — Drew Barrymore on her tresses. [The Sun]
• "It's a real crucible because you feel daunted by your peers who somehow get younger and younger. People older than me have fewer lines than I do. And no, you're not supposed to talk about it; you're supposed to admire the fact that they look 22 even though they're 58." — Sarah Jessica Parker on aging, in thew new issue of Bazaar. [The Life Files]
• "I haven't spoken to Christian about it, but I have listened to most of it and he was clearly very angry. People might now realise that that is his temper, and they might understand a bit more… He is a perfectionist and if you are doing an intense scene and someone is spoiling a shot, it takes time to get it back." —Christian Bale's mom, on his tirade. [Mirror]
• "Everything was about keeping Christian happy because he was the meal ticket. If something wasn't just so, Christian would erupt. He would yell until he was red in the face. It was very intimidating. Fame began to change him. Once, when [his mother] Jenny and her mum arrived in Los Angeles, Christian sent me to the airport to pick them up. Jenny was in tears because her son hadn't come in person." — Christian Bale's former assistant, Harrison Cheung. Cheung also says that after Bale's dad married Gloria Steinem, "Gloria liked to pontificate and was going on about something for ages at the dinner table one night. Christian suddenly let out a huge sigh and said, 'For God's sake woman, shut up!'" [Mirror]

A live performance:



Ms. James in 2007:



And finally, a "duet" performed by Beyonce and Etta, thanks to the magic of YouTube:

Image via Etta James.com

• More Manolos and man-drama: The Sex And The City sequel is on. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all on board… and getting more cash. [Us]

• Heath Ledger died one year ago today. His last film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, will be released in June. [News.com.au]
• Paging Dr. Ross! George Clooney will, indeed, return to ER during its final season. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Tina Fey and Jon Hamm spill about 30 Rock! Tina says: "He plays a divorced gentleman who lives in my building. I meet him because I start getting his mail by accident and I start opening it and making assumptions about him based on it. Then I believe the technical term for what happens is 'shenanigans.'" Hamm adds: "Also high jinks. Believe it or not, there are misunderstandings." [EW]
• Jennifer Hudson will do the National Anthem at the Super Bowl because "she knew it was time" to perform again, says a source. [People]
• People are disgusting. How else to explain why there's an extortion plot involving John Travolta and a photograph taken of his son, Jett, as he was dying? [Daily Mail]
• Tom Cruise is urging Americans to "support" Barack Obama. Uh, dude? We got this. [The Star]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's trainer is opening a studio in New York. This is how it starts. Next we'll all be covered in GOOP. [NY Mag]
• Jodie Sweetin is reportedly back on coke, which may put the custody of her 9-month-old daughter in jeopardy. [Radar]
• Dita von Teese is returning to the "celebrated" Crazy Horse theater in Paris for a two-week run of her striptease show. Two years ago she "emerged from a rhinestone-encrusted bubblebath," but this year? "I feel I have to raise the bar," she says. "I wanted to do something more elaborate this time." [Reuters]
• Kevin Dillon, aka "Drama" on Entourage talks to Vanity Fair's George Wayne about Oliver Stone, outer space and the singer Pink: "Johnny Drama would love to get together with Pink." [Vanity Fair]
• Keira Knightley was walking around East London and realized that she was being followed and photographed; she texted her friend: "Read dickhead pap! Ahh!" We know this because the photographer took a close-up picture of her phone and it has been published. Madness. [Just Jared]
• Is Twilight keeping Kristen Stewart from going to college? She has no plans to go to university, she says: "Not now, maybe if I can grow up a little bit. But not yet, I can't. It's just I've had a lot of demands put on me for quite a long time." [Reuters]
• Dakota Fanning in the Twilight sequel? Could be fangtastic! [E!]
• Abigail Breslin's inked three pictures: two animated and a horror comedy called Zombieland with Woody Harrelson. [Variety]
• Sharon Stone D.C. gossip: "Over at an unofficial Pennsylvania ball at the Ritz, an emaciated Sharon Stone wowed the audience with an impassioned, if wildly disjointed, Obama-style appeal to get involved in politics. During her rambling discourse, she highlighted single mothers, anthracite coal and the Steelers as the Keystone State’s greatest attributes, according to an attendee. 'It was so weird. She’s seven flavors of crazy, each more delicious than the next,' the source added." [Politico]
• Here's a rundown of all the celebrity ego trips — including Halle Berry getting her dress stuck in an escalator — that happened down in D.C. [Page Six]
• Etta James watched Beyoncé sing the song she made famous, "At Last," from her home. [NY Daily News]
• U2's new album cover is virtually the same as the CD cover of an album called Specification Fifteen, which came out in 2006. [The Sun]
• In case you missed it, Katy Perry has taken a vow of celibacy this year. "No kissing anyone. Just my cat, Kitty Purry." [The Sun]
• Alanis Morissette is swimming with river dolphins and feeding wild monkeys in the Amazon right now and you're not. [AP]
• Don't speak: Gwen Stefani is getting back together with No Doubt for a 2009 summer tour! [Page Six]
• Dudes who logged on to AskMen.com found Isla Fisher more desirable than Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr. [News.com.au]
• The best thing about this gossip item regarding Audrina from The Hills is how she's wearing a T-shirt with the words "a beautiful lie" right over her fake boobs. [People]
• This new Heineken commercial with John Turturro should be an ad for weed, because he says the kind of shit you say when you are high as a kite. [Brand Freak]
• PETA has withdrawn an offer to televise an anti-dogfighting PSA with Michael Vick after his release from prison. [AP]
• Susan Sarandon is doing a new flick with Pierce Brosnan because Pierce called her and asked her to. [Gatecrasher]
• Singer Akon has no idea how old he is. He was born in the US but spent his early years in Senegal and says: "In Africa... age is not important over there. They don't care. People only focus on it here [America] and in Europe." [AP]
• Peter Falk's daughter is trying to place him under a conservatorship, but his wife of 32 years is opposing the proceeding. [AP]
• Some dumbass working for TMZ asked Ron Howard if there will be an Andy Griffith movie, and since Howard said no, this story is called "Ron Howard Kills 'Griffith' Reunion." [TMZ]
• Josh Groban is gonna work with Metallica and Beastie Boys producer Rick Rubin, LOL. [Fox 411]
• Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are friends now, FYI — they grew closer after Townshend faced child porn charges and was cleared. "Roger bravely stood by me when I really couldn’t speak for myself," Pete says. [Daily Express]
• Mark Ruffalo is back to work. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which small-screen actress is just as naughty as her TV character? The hottie was seen kissing quite a few fellas at Sundance despite having a serious boyfriend." [Gatecrasher]
• "Miley Cyrus Likes To Touch Big Boys." [The Life Files]
• Aerosmith's Steven Tyler says he's never been rejected by a woman: "I'm a persistent motherfucker. I'm very sensual and very rhythm-oriented and into poetry. Women can feel that." This blogger points out: "In a culture where no doesn't mean no, you've just got to be a 'persistent motherfucker' until a woman relents—and then you can claim victory and convince yourself you're some kind of awesome Casanova." Word. [Shakesville]
• Catherine Deneuve's daughter, Chiara Mastroianni — who once dated Benicio Del Toro — is in a new flick with her mother. Chiara says having famous parents (her father is the late Marcello Mastroianni) "made me even more determined to prove that, if I get attention, it's because I'm good at my job, not for other mad reasons." [Independent]
• You know how George Carlin loved to say the 7 words you can't say on TV? None of that made it into an FBI file on him. "Which kind of disappoints me," his daughter laughs. [AP]
• Fess up: Which one of you spent £12,000 on Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy portrait? [The First Post]
• "I did once snog identical twins in San Diego. I was on the sofa and I had them both. I was dancing and shoving my ass on one of them. That’s the only time, but I have lesbian dreams a lot." — Lily Allen, on her same-sex experience. [The Sun]
• "I'm having a really good laugh over the fact that I've been nominated for a Razzie this year. I had so much fun filming Disaster Movie and giggled the entire time during the shoot. There is steep competition in my 'worst supporting actress' category, I have to admit... including my fantastic costar Carmen Electra (you go girl!), Leelee Sobieski (what a surprise!), Jenny McCarthy (really?) and Paris Hilton (who could technically sweep this year's awards with a whopping three nominations!). It's an honor just being nominated! LOL!" — Kim Kardashian. [Kim Kardashian]
• "I'm in love with Barack Obama. I wanna get married — like, I wanna have his kids. Why am I not Michelle, you know what I mean? Who the [bleep] is she? You know, why can't I be her?" — Macy Gray. [Page Six]
• "My videos stand the test of time. They are like the almanac for every performer. Even Rihanna has come up to me and said 'I hope you don’t mind.' And Beyonce. You can see the influence of what I’ve done." — Paula Abdul. [MSNBC]
• "Mother Nature was not very kind to me. I'm going to deal with her when I get home. It, by no means, was my standard. I was not happy with it, but I just feel blessed because it could have been five above zero or five below zero like it is in Detroit. I was still blessed to be able to pretty much just sing the melody, but I wasn't happy with it, of course." — Aretha Franklin on her inauguration performance. [CNN]

[People, Perez, People]