I Re-Watched Reality Bites and It's Basically a Manual for Shitheads

Few things have shaped my existence more profoundly than the realization, courtesy of the 1994 film Reality Bites, that there are two kinds of women—Janeane Garofalos and Winona Ryders—and that I would never, ever be a Winona. (Other things I discovered painfully, early on, that I would never be: a Shalom Harlow, a… » 2/21/14 4:00pm 2/21/14 4:00pm

Ethan Hawke Says Angelina Jolie Is a Sexy Man-Draining Succubus

When asked recently if he had a favorite on-screen tonguing partner, Ethan Hawke picked Angelina Jolie hands-down. But it's not just because she's been working real hard on her jaw-kegels and tonsil-pilates—it's also because of the prophecy. Angelina, you see, is supernaturally predestined to kiss the best because… » 5/31/13 9:15pm 5/31/13 9:15pm

At Long Last, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy Get Together

It's all very wonderful, of course. Before Midnight should be the very last movie about Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy walking around European cities. Enjoy it, because in about 15 years, somebody named Stephen Sommers is going to "re-imagine" the Before movies as being about a pair of swinging American vampire hunters… » 3/31/13 2:00pm 3/31/13 2:00pm

Sigh: Josh Brolin and Diane Lane Calling It Quits

Superfoxes Josh Brolin and Diane Lane are divorcing after eight years of marriage, according to their reps: "It was a mutual decision. It was amicable. It's not ugly, it's just over." (Guh.) It's the second marriage for both of them. Although this means our fantasy of James Brolin, Barbra Streisand, Josh and Diane… » 2/22/13 9:00am 2/22/13 9:00am

Lisa D'Amato from Top Model Fell Down and Messed Up Her Face

Yeah, I know Lisa D'Amato (of ANTM and then...I don't know, other stuff) was pretty grating sometimes, but I've always liked her in my secret heart. She was a total hapless goofball on ANTM—and those girls are usually such BORING SQUARES, Keenyah eating all the bagels notwithstanding—and she seemed to give Celebrity… » 1/24/13 8:00pm 1/24/13 8:00pm

Honey Boo Boo Is Making Forklift Loads of Cash

Because I guess there is nothing better to dispute over, there're has been some dispute over how much TLC is paying Alana Thompson and her family, better known as the force of nature behind the dark American nightmare that is Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. The show scored 3 million viewers in the final week of August and… » 9/06/12 9:00am 9/06/12 9:00am