Some of the major problems between co-sleepers include snoring, kicking, and wrestling for the covers — but on a more basic level, each person has a different body clock, and some people are morning people (called "larks" by sleep experts) and some are night people (called owls). All of this is clearly common sense, but the Times called in sleep expert Sammy Margo to give a couple called the Millards some advice on how to deal with an owly husband and a wife who is neither lark nor owl.

Mr. Millard sounds like a total neurotic who has trouble sleeping, in part, because he's always worrying about shit. Mr. Margo tells him to quit the caffeine after lunch, eat foods low on the glycemic index, gnaw on turkey, Marmite, spinach, or any other food with tryptophan in it, and take a warm bath right before bed,. Mr. Millard wanted to follow Margo's advice, but he ended up lying awake and worrying about the advice instead! (Though he did appreciate the warm bath and eating more veggies.)

But enough about those boring old marrieds. The studies quoted by the Times also show that Lezebels have the best sleep among couples. "Sleep conflicts seem to be bound up with fundamental biological and behavioural differences between the sexes," says the Times. "For example, when Professor Jim Horne, the director of the Loughborough University Sleep Research Centre, attached movement monitors to men and women sleepers, he found that men moved much more than women and were far more likely to disturb women than the other way round." Ergo, two women sleeping together wouldn't cause each other much disturbance at all.

As for me and my old man, we made some compromises that helped us not kill each other at bedtime. We got two separate comforters so we weren't warring over one and I (theoretically) agreed to a lights off at midnight policy. There's something kind of lonely about the idea of a couple sleeping apart, though I know a lot of happy couples who do it. Does it work for any of you?

Sleeping Apart; The Key To A Happy Marriage [Times of London]
Twin Beds May Benefit Marriages [UPI]

Earlier: Can You Get A Decent Night's Sleep With A Loved One In Bed?

But after years of that chronic sleep deprivation we all suffer, Ruth decides to deal with things the natural way; by getting a new bed.

She looks at something called a "split king" — like a king bed, but with two twin sides. Her husband doesn't want to get it. Then...I don't think she ends up getting the bed. I didn't really finish the story because I'm kind of sleep-deprived. Because I've been sleeping next to someone? Hah, I wish; fuck you guys.

On a side note: does anyone drool? I have a drooling problem. Never been a snorer, just a drooler...

While You Weren't Sleeping [Elle]