For instance: Olay Regenerist claims it is "a deep penetrating moisturizer with Aquacurrent Science." Dyan Diaz, 30, says this means: "They are taking stuff out of the ocean like jellyfish and dissecting it and telling us it is good for your skin." Heh. Good guess! Actually, Olay claims, "Aquacurrent Science, the study of water movement in the skin and hair, helps create products with greater moisturization." Disappointing, huh, Dyan? Jellyfish gunk sounds way more effective.

What about Clarins Younger Longer Balm, "with advanced neuro-cosmetic technology and rare concentrated botanicals, skin is revitalized"? Yeah, that's right. Neuro-cosmetic. Soline McLain, a 28-year-old law student, says: "I would think it has to do with the brain. It makes you smarter? I will put it on when I am studying for constitutional law." (Hahahahaha! It actually has to do with nerve endings in the skin.)

As for Estée Lauder Re-Nutriv Ultimate Lifting skin care, "'Virtual immunity' means you’ll see a noticeably more lifted look, a brilliant clarity, a newly refined smoothness." Virtual immunity. Virtual immunity. Carmel Agdeppa, 27, wonders: "Is it better for your skin against any foreign bacteria?" Oh, Carmel! If only. Instead, Estée Lauder explains that if you use their cream, your skin "essentially appears almost as if it has been exempted from the signs of premature aging." Essentially. Almost. As if. Haha! The fact that they expect anyone to believe that is the most hilarious part of all.

Let’s Play Buzzword: Defining Phrases Used in Skin Care Advertising [NY Times]

• L.A. boutique Kitson can't give away poor Lauren Conrad's collection. Well, they can, but not to customers. "They're giving away her collection to Caitlin's Closet, a charity that gives girls dresses for their big events, like the prom and homecoming." I have a terrible image of no one choosing her dresses for prom, though — I mean, they have other options, right? [TMZ]
• Designer Maria Pinto's star has risen along with client Michelle Obama's. 'While she does point out things Mrs. Obama might like, Ms. Pinto said she has never dressed her for events. Of the purple dress worn the night Mr. Obama claimed the nomination, Ms. Pinto said it was not planned. “Michelle is not scheming like her wardrobe should make certain points.”' [NY Times]
• In a match made in pink, Upper East Side, Gossip-Girly heaven, Charlotte Ronson and Shoshonna Lonstein team up for beachwear. "The two, who attended high school together at the The Nightingale-Bamford School, have joined forces on a beach line called Made With Love. Launching at retail in February, the collection includes printed women’s and girls’ bathing suits — a one-piece and several bikini styles — and matching printed beach towels and cover-ups." [WWD]

• Anti-fur activists would really prefer the pope not wear this one ceremonial hat trimmed in ermine. Cause that's obviously the archaic church tradition the pope really needs to address first. I'm not saying this one 13th century cap isn't going to start an international run on ermines, but still... [MSNBC]
• More on fashion week not requiring models to be healthy: "Hilary Riva, chief executive officer of the British Fashion Council, said in an open letter Wednesday that a yearlong model health inquiry deems certificates "an unworkable solution." "From our conversations with our international counterparts in New York, Milan and Paris, it has become clear that they do not recognize the need for an international health certificate," Riva wrote. [WWD]
• Maybe she's born with it? "Maybelline will give out $10,000 grants to 10 people who have changed lives through education. Post your nominee at maybelline.com." [NY Daily News]
• An event I secretly really, really want to go to: "Gamorama, Macy's annual glitzfest to benefit children's cancer research, will be all about the '80s Friday night, featuring Cyndi Lauper and MC Hammer." Have already put in a request for "I Had The Time of My Life." Although not, actually, invited. [Star Tribune]
• Helped by weak buck, Estee Lauder is way up. [Reuters]
• In its desperate resuscitation efforts, Liz Claiborne gives the unceremonious boot to striped-tights staple Sigrid Olsen. "It is a curious development in the fickle business of fashion that clothing labels like Ms. Olsen’s, made by and for the baby boomer generation, are among those being hardest hit by the current economic turmoil and retail< retrenchment." [NY Times]
• Skechers desperate to acquire Heelys! "After Wednesday's close, Skechers said it would pay nearly $143 million, or $5.25 a share in cash, for each share of Heelys. Skechers said the offer would give Heelys' stockholders an 8.2% premium to the closing price of the company's shares on Aug. 12." [The Street]
• New High School Musical panties deemed inappropriate for children? "The underwear, for girls as young as seven, are to promote the popular Disney film High School Musical and have "Dive In" written on the front. The phrase is a reference to a scene in film where characters dive into a swimming pool. But the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) and the National Union of Teachers (NUT) have both criticized the underwear, describing it as "inappropriate"." [Telegraph]
• Trying to smarten up their image, Sears unveils Fashion Week exhibit. '"What we really wanted to do was bring a taste of Fashion Week to people who would normally never get to sit under the tents or get to see a runway show," said Sears spokeswoman Amy Dimond. The retailer will also hold an exclusive kick-off party meant to get those in attendance, like fashion industry executives, to look "at Sears in a way that people may have not in the past." she said. [Reuters]
• Buyer and showroom head Cynthia O'Connor may be "the smartest woman in fashion" according to BlackBook. “COC + Co builds brands because we have a long-term strategy, not a ‘sell it today and collect your check’ philosophy.” O’Connor loves it just so. “When people walk in, they can see the success and that validates the experience.” [BlackBook]
• Asos.com CEO says they're gonna be "the amazon.com of the fashion industry. "As well as constantly evolving the mix of brands stocked, the etailer is implementing a range of initiatives - from the launch of a marketplace for second-hand clothes to homepages tailored for customers - to stay one step ahead of its increasingly-growing band of competitors." [VogueUK]
• "An ex-hasidic fashion designer uses Jewish symbolism in his designs, offending many devout Jews." I'm more offended by the designs themselves, not to be flippant. [Reuters]
• Without any irony: you can now buy Ralph Lauren Polo from your phone. "Taking its philosophy of “merchan-tainment” to a new level, Polo Ralph Lauren is launching into mobile commerce — m-commerce — incorporating echnology that allows shoppers to buy Polo merchandise from their cell phones." [WWD]

• Poor Posh. After the embarrassingly poor sales of her denim line and ensuing abandonment by retailers, we hear that her men's dVb line has been pushed back "until next year" by L.A. boutique Kitson. Plucky Posh is undaunted, having spoken of her desire to launch a couture line and show at New York's fashion week. dVb denies the line is floundering, claiming that "it is currently being manufactured but is likely to reach stores later than anticipated." [This Is London]
• A man has confessed to the murder of Canadian model Diana O'Brien, whose body was found last week in Shanghai, where the 20-year-old was on a 3-month modeling contract. 18-year-old Chen Jun was arrested Friday morning in Anhui province; he apparently killed the model during an armed robbery of her apartment. [CNN]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is really slacking in her obligations to Estee Lauder's new "Sensous" perfume, refusing to show for any of the hundred ridiculous promos the company's set up (opening the stock market, anyone?) and leaving the burden on the slender shoulders of co-pitchwomen Hilary Rhoda, Carolyn Murphy, and Elizabeth Hurley. Recriminations all around. [New York Magazine]

• Seems the Nuclear Wintour has thawed for Obama: the fashionista was on the newly-published list of "major donors" to the Dem's campaign, indicating that she's raised fifty grand or more. [Neew York Times]
• Wait, fashion, and bloggers...petty? Hard to believe, but it would seem that style sites Fashion Indie and Coutorture are engaged in the most ridiculous war of words (and pictures) ever. Says The Pipeline, "in our years of reading and writing for fashion blogs, this is as mad a skirmish as we've ever seen." [Pipeline]
• The CEO of Overstock.com, that online retailer with all the insinuating "Big O" commercials, has decided not to sell fur through his sites. “You don’t have to think about it very much before you realize … you’re completely objectifying an animal when you say I’m going to wear it as a decorative object. That’s over the line for anyone who gives it any thought, I would think,' said Patrick Byrne, who's made waves in the past for his "battles against hedge funds." [Reuters]
• Are low necklines responsible for Marks and Spencer's market slump? Some suggest that the chain's base of older folks has been alienated by attempts to appeal to a more youthful demographic. "The clothes are not suitable for our age group,' says one older lady. "The dresses are too low on top and they don't have sleeves. They just show too much cleavage and at our age we can't wear that sort of style."' [Independent]
• Charity "Clothes Off Our Backs" latest fundraiser is selling off Rodo shoes. The twist/catch? Celebs like Kate Beckinsale, Cate Blanchett, Sheryl Crow, Kirsten Dunst, Zooey Deschanel and America Ferrera have each decorated a pair "as they chose." Apparently not everyone finds these words ominous: Pink's pair has already racked up $400 in bids; the heels Kristin Davis decorated have scored a more modest $170. [EOnline]
• Next up for Target GO!: Purses by Monica Botkier, coming up next week, and a jewelry line by Dean Harris on 8/17. We've not had great luck with the designer accessories lines in the past, but hope springs eternal in the breast of Recessionistas. [The Budget Fashionista]
• "Black is best when you're in court/The judge will be impressed!" That's Singin' In The Rain. This isThe Daily News on Christie Brinkley's courtroom choices :"The media-savvy former model - who's tried hard on the stand to argue she has been a perfect wife and mother - has picked crisp button-down shirts smoothed into sharp pencil skirts for her divorce trial against estranged husband Cook. Call it the Serious Woman's Uniform - and a smart wardrobe choice when you're up for a fight. "It's not threatening, that's the bottom line," says fashion commentator Mary Alice Stephenson. "The pencil skirt is a piece of clothing that all women respond to."" [Daily News]
• New York consumer confidence at all-time low. [Crain's]
• Super-scrawny menswear designer Hedi Slimane will be the cover model for the debut of Vogue Homme Japan. Said Kazuhiro Saito, editor in chief of Vogue Nippon and the new men's spin-off of Slimane's aesthetic, '"There were those very skinny, boyish male models. That works for Japanese guys."' [WWD]
• The public asks Tim Gunn ten really asinine questions like, "What movie or TV cast has had the biggest impact on fashion?" He makes it work. [Time]

(Although unrelated to the Estee Lauder promotion, Bazaar has been shilling expensive shit next to the mastheads for its editorial and publishing staff for many months now.)

Advertising 1, Journalism 0 [Portfolio]
A Cover, 40 Pages, 4 Faces And One Perfume [NY Times]

• You knew this already, but Project Runway judge/style tome author/ELLE fashion director Nina Garcia has parted ways with the magazine that made her. At least, ELLE has yet to tell anyone the rumors are false.
  
• Our sources say Garcia came in Friday morning around the hour fashion people usually get to work Friday morning, and was gone with all her earthly possessions by lunch time. Her assistants apparently cried all day, packing the rest of her things.
  
• New rumors are starting to surface that she's "in talks" with ELLE regarding some sort of position there.
  
• We suspect the fact that ELLE fashion news director Anne Slowey and creative director Joe Zee are getting their own Tyra-produced show this fall doesn't exactly make for a great environment. (Coupled with the fact that the magazine's fashion coverage has gotten a million times more interesting since Zee came on board.) But these are just our speculations. Know anything? Drop us a line! [WWD, MediaBistro, NYMag]
  
• And in other very important world news, Project Runway guest judge/style tome author/ELLE covergirl Victoria Beckham's denim line DVB has been dropped by Kitson and Fred Segal. Um, anyone else seeing a trend here? [News of the World]

• A reader wrote in to Guardian fashion writer Hadley Freeman asking when it is okay to wear shorts. Freeman's response? "When it's flipping well warm enough to do so, like, duh." [Guardian]
• Despite the rumors, Kate Moss is not on the outs with lingerie line Agent Provocateur and just shot a wedding-themed ad campaign for them. [This is London]
• Phat Fashions is suing Victoria's Secret for copyright infringement. Apparently, no one can use a frilly letter 'P' but the Phat designers. And while I can't believe I'm saying this, I think it's gonna be Kimora FTW. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Whoa, Vidal Sassoon was a resistance fighter during WWII?! [Telegraph]
• Elton John: Wears Tom Ford's fragrances! (Also likes that Tom Ford's ads frequently contain naked men? Again, JUST speculation.) [Page Six]
• The John Varvatos store in the old CBGB's space? Could suck more. [Washington Post]
• Yay for Cambodia, the latest country to allow its young female citizens to be exploited by the western world by making them into runway models. (And Cambodia is usually such a leader on the youth exploitation front.) In all seriousness, [ITN]
• Nicholas Huxley, the director of the Sydney Institute's Fashion Design Studio, says Australian women dress "cheap and nasty." [News.com.au]
• Want to have guaranteed success as a jewelry designer? Than go into a career in anything but jewelry design [WWD]
• OMG will or won't Prada go public in June? The suspense is killing me. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Carolina Herrera junior is pregnant again. Just what the world needs: Another kid with a trust fund. [WWD, 2nd item]

• The Gap will just not cease to exist, releasing new monthly sales figures even as no one acknowledges it anymore. How do you get an 18% decrease from March 2007 when the last known Gap shopper bought her last Macau-made $4.90 tank top in 2003? The Gap will manage to report disappointing sales long after liquidation.
  
• Here, Gap CEO Glenn Murphy, in case you missed it the first time, our memo from the clothes-wearing masses.
  
• Alexander McQueen hopes Paris Hilton sees his store and just keeps on walking because fashion is "not about celebrity" which is a total lie, and also, a blatant "neg." [Sassybella]
  
• Uniqlo has worked tirelessly to brand its basic clothes as somehow "edgy," retaining the photography services of Terry Richardson etc. etc., but who would have guessed they would have picked such an unusual celebrity spokesmodel? [Fabsugar]

• On the heels of yesterday's gloomy sales forecast, Estee Lauder hosted a decadent party to honor its celebrity spokesmodel of thirteen years. [WWD]
• Londoners used to fly to Hong Kong to get deals on clothes but now they're coming here. [Guardian]
• Scary Spice is putting out some sort of perfume. What impeccable timing! [Ad Age]
• Few people know this, but the signature Adidas "stripes" actually originated with a sort of utilitarian function, which was once a source of jealousy to Nike founder Phil Knight, but ha ha ha, probably not anymore. [IHT

• TIME magazine invited Donatella Versace to the annual White House Correspondents dinner, and she thought the invitations said white lines so she RSVPed. No actually she thought they said "Winehouse" Correspondents dinner. [NY Mag]
  
• And speaking of cocaine! George W. Bush's cousin Lauren may be a handbag designing ex-model but that doesn't mean she's completely reprehensible. [NY Mag]
  
• Sophie Dahl: the grandspawn of Roald Dahl who used to be an on-the-thick-side-for-a-model model until she stopped doing drugs and modeling and got skinny, has written a novel called Playing With The Grown-Ups. It's excerpted in...of all places...USA Today. Bored? Here. It features a dog named Ibsen, and would obviously be a lot better if he was the narrator. [USA Today]
  
• Jordin Sparks: the daughter of an Avon lady, she herself became an Avon lady a mere five years ago, at the tender age of fourteen, and then she became an American Idol, and as if this story could get any more inspiring — wait, it can! — she was yesterday named Avon's Chief Inspirational Officer. [WWD]

• H&M has been named Europe's "most valuable brand" by a brand consulting firm called Interbrand, which is especially interesting considering H&M is not really a "brand," but leave it to the brand consultants to brand it that way. [FT]
• Some legal battle brewing between Juicy Couture and website JuicyCampus. If there was a trademark more unworthy of infringement it is probably Juicy. [Radar]
• Gucci and Louis Vuitton are in the designer gas mask business now. Do kids still make time capsules? Because those sort of belong in there, along with a knockoff Louis Vuitton SARS mask and a MacBook permanently frozen on an image of Britney Spears' period panties. [Complex]
• Estee Lauder is silently bleeding to death and you all are too busy trying on cheek stain at Sephora to care. [Crains]

• OMG Christina Aguilera looks so pretty in these Hitchcock-inspired Stephen Webster ads! It's like, we finally see what Christina Aguilera has been going for all these years with this excessive bombshell crap — and it is good. The wonders of Photoshop, folks! [Sassybella]
  
• Contrary to the rumors being reported like everywhere, Gisele Bundchen says she is not designing a line in — oh Jesus Christ, this word again — "collaboration" with Dolce & Gabbana. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Eva Mendes gets to keep her Calvin Klein perfume gig despite her stint in rehab. Somewhere Lohan is burning each and every piece of Jill Stuart she owns. Ha ha ha, as if she could find a specific of clothing in that mess. Just burn down the whole closet, Linds! [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Memo from the U.S. Court of Appeals to Polo Ralph Lauren: You don't own the image of a polo player, and you can't tell the U.S. Polo Association you do. But hey, nice try protecting that sophisticated "intellectual property" of yours! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Rashida Jones is backing an eco-friendly clothing line called Laloo. [Perez Hilton]

• Yeah, yeah, we heard: Matthew McConaughey and his babymama are designing a surfwear line together. [People]
• Insane(ly arrogant) designer Tara Subkoff sold off her Imitation of Christ label last year to Sass & Bide's ex-CEO. Only now she wants it back and, as can only be expected with her, is being a total snot about it. [Sassybella]
• Anna Wintour: Into basketball now? [Page Six]
• The Gap is getting a leeeeetle too cool for school, collaborating with the Whitney Museum, commissioning artists like Jeff Koons, Chuck Close, and Barbara Kruger to create limited edition t-shirts for the retail chain. Which is, well, sorta pretentious and annoying and more importantly like that's how you expect to start selling clothes again, Gap? [Fashion Week Daily]
• What happens to a designer's wares between the runway and showroom presentation? They alter them into things that people might actually wear! [WSJ]
• Estee Lauder: Now headed to a Home Shopping Network near you. [WWD, sub req'd]
• These kicks aren't for kids, but for girls! Pro Mama sneakers by Adidas...and Gabriella Davi-Khorasanee. [Chic Report]
• Also, Adidas profits are up. [NYT]
• But Neiman Marcus and Saks profits are down. Horrors! [NYT]
• And Roberto Cavalli is looking to sell off part of his eponymous label to a private equity firm. Man, will these private equity guys never run out of cash to burn? [WSJ]
• Want good skin? Moisturize. Also, don't drink, smoke, or let the light of day come in contact with your skin. [BellaSugar]

Um, so yeah, basically Aerin's dad managed to accumulate $200 million worth of personal debts in the eighties and nineties, but he took the company public and just kept selling shares in it to finance his basic needs to the point that, two years ago, he paid $135 million for a single Klimt painting. He tells the paper he doesn't lead a lavish lifestyle. (Though in her autobiography, Estee wrote that his "taste" was "magnificent.")

Meanwhile, Aerin's cousin William stepped down from his CEO post after Page Six reported he had a love child with another woman even though he is married, so now some person from Procter & Gamble is leading the company, because even though a thoroughly entrenched business selling small non-perishable creams and chemicals at a 1000% markup is not a very difficult business to keep afloat, it is too much for vapid people born into unspeakable wealth and privilege to handle anymore. But that Aerin: Sure is pretty!

Tensions Roil Estee Lauder Dynasty [WSJ]

Photo courtesy Go Fug Yourself

• Pregnant singer Lily Allen has announced that she has turned down multiple offers to design a maternity line, given that so many of her fans are tween girls and feels that attaching her name to getting knocked up just "wouldn't be suitable." Jaime-Lynn, are you listening? [BBC]
  
• Lily also opened the Harrods sale today, clad in a very non-maternity backless black dress. She told shoppers: "Unfortunately I did come in earlier for a bit of a preview so there's not much left." Oh the rich: They're so funny! [The Mirror]
  
• Wednesday, Giorgio Armani himself took a little stroll through his SoHo Armani Exchange store while customers were busy shopping. It's not difficult to imagine him entering and musing proudly, arms outstretched, "These are my lands." [Page Six]
  
• Estee Lauder, Inc: Friend to farmers! [WSJ]

• The new Fendi baguette bag bears an uncanny resemblance to the Chanel 2.55 bag. Karl Lagerfeld, incidentally, designs both Fendi and Chanel. Coincidence? [Sassybella]
• The Prada Spring 2008 print ads have the same delightfully kooky aesthetic as the Prada Spring 2008 line. [Sassybella]
• Premiere fashion trade paper WWD reports that the biggest new trend for designers is getting into the cell phone market. Seriously, where have they been? Also, why doesn't anyone want to give me a Prada phone? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Former Conde Nast CEO Steve Florio passed away yesterday due to complications from a heart attack. [WWD, sub req'd]
• I plan to spend New Year's Eve at home in my pajamas. But you know what makes sitting at home in pajamas more exciting? Wearing a full face of make-up, a la Dita von Teese. [FabSugar]

• In an unprecedented gesture, Donatella Versace has named Patrick Dempsey the face of the Versace men's line for not one but two consecutive seasons. Perhaps she's impressed by his track record on the whole "gets hotter every year OMG" front? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Speaking of Donatella, Tom Ford agrees with her that Russians are totally hot right now. "Russians are hardwired to appreciate the fine things in life. They have been denied nice things for years." Um, tell that to Boris Berezovsky's mistresses Tom! [Vogue UK]
  
• Victoria's Secret is holding competitions for college-aged women to model in their runway shows alongside the "real" models. This is a bid to get more college-aged students to buy their slave labor manufactured lingerie, and given what we know of college-aged girls, it will probably work. [WSJ]
  
• Kate Hudson: "I'm trying not to shop anymore. I've gotten in the habit of making phone calls when I see something and saying, 'Please, when that comes in, can you send it?'" How quaint! [WWD, 1st item]

• Kathy and Rick Hilton are maybe going to buy recently-bankrupted French shoe company Charles Jourdan, and talks are already in the works about a Kathy Hilton for Charles Jourdan shoe line, which is a good thing because there is such a dearth of consumer products currently available that can boast to being endorsed by someone named "Hilton," you know? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Says Roger Vivier designer Bruno Frisoni: "I wasn't comfortable doing accessories before I met Christian Lacroix. He taught me to have fun in fashion and to be 'désinvolte' — to not be afraid of bad taste, which is especially important in fashion because sometimes if you have bad taste, it's good." Dude, totally. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Kate Moss: Now officially a member of Who's Who! [Vogue UK]
• Estee Lauder is being sued by fellow cosmetics company Nefeli, which is a Chinese, herb-based line. Nefeli had signed a secret pact with Lauder where it would allow them to sneak a peaks at samples of their products and technology. But, uh, then the Lauder folks just reverse-engineered that shit and sold it under their Origins brand. Um, so what did you think they were going to do with that intellectual property you were selling them, guys? [WWD, 2nd item]

• Those invited to Marc Jacobs' annual holiday costume party (aka - not us) need to start preparing their costumes now. The theme has finally been announced! "Arabian Nights." We double-dare someone to go as Edward Said. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The most important movie of all time, the Sex and the City movie, shot at the offices of the most important magazine of all time, Vogue. My god, how did the world not combust when these two forces joined powers? Also, Anna Wintour will not be appearing in the movie. But Andre Leon Talley will! And we hope that Jennifer Hudson, who is playing Carrie Bradshaw's assistant in the movie, manages to restrain herself re: that whole idiotic bolero-from-Mars thingy he made her wear to the Oscars. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Why we love Barneys New York's Creative Director Simon Doonan, reason #482: "Everyone in the music industry looks like a hooker. Let's call it porno-chic. It seems to me nowadays that Janis Joplin wouldn't be able to get her clog in the door without a full makeover!" [Fashion Week Daily]

• Aerin Lauder's new line of products for Estee Lauder has nary a cosmetic in it. No, no: It's a full-fledged line of hostess gifts. Gag! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Bono's eco-aware fashion line with Rogan Gregory, Edun, is once again making T-shirts to help African children and also the images of certain highly-remunerated celebrities who will be endorsing it i.e. Gwyneth Paltrow, Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck in ads shot by Helena Christensen. The stars even styled themselves to help cut back on costs. [Vogue UK]
• Tennis star Andre Agassi has filed an injunction against Target for selling sandals with his name on them without his permission. Huh. Is Agassi still a big draw? [MSNBC]
• California-cool fashion line Trovata joins its fashion brethren in claiming that Forever 21 copied their designs and is now also suing their fundamentalist Christian asses blah blah take a number folks. [NY Times]
• French Vogue: Still a gajilliony times cooler than American Vogue. (This is why we're going as Carine Roitfeld for Halloween.) [Radar]

• Tomorrow is Fashion Week, and to get your bile a-flowing we have excerpted the inimitable Ralph Lauren: "What is wonderful is that I have had success doing what I love and what I believed in. I didn't sell out; I didn't wine and dine anybody. I just learned how to kiss on both cheeks. I'm proud that it worked. I think it's inspiring for my children, and for young designers. I care about this industry..." [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Fashion show tickets, yours for $500 on Craigslist. [Fashionista]
  
• Milla Jovovich is doing a Target line, which may be her best career move since Dazed and Confused. In our, uh, highly unbiased opinion.[Fashionista]
  
• Ever wonder how Coach went from being completely, mercifully ignor-able to ubiquitous? The Washington Post's Robin Givhan explains. [Washington Post]
  
• Model Maggie Rizer is going to be blogging for ELLE.com all during New York Fashion Week. We, however, will not be modeling for ELLE.com during New York Fashion Week. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Images now out of Maggie Gyllenhaal in her skivvies for the new Agent Provocateur campaign. We still think she seems permanently grumpy. [Sassybella]

• Designer Nathan Jenden is happy that actress Thandie Newton likes his clothes since "[s]he epitomizes the type of woman I design for. A successful, strong working mother." Who doesn't let any of that stand in the way of rampant eating disorders? [Vogue UK]
• Yves Saint Laurent is publishing a manifesto. It includes photographs of Gisele, and two million copies have been printed thus far. On recycled paper, natch. Why do we feel whatever was on that paper before this document was probably more worth reading? [Vogue UK]
• Other people love my Prada shoes! [Coutorture]
• Never would we ever have associated BCBG with Frank Sinatra and Elvis. [GlamChic]
• Noir designer Peter Ingwersen's Spring 2008 collection inspired, weirdly, by "little old ladies with lilac-dyed permed hair." We are officially terrified. [The Fashion Informer]
• What do Estee Lauder fragrances smell like? Disability discrimination! [Daily Mail]

• Will someone please explain to us what Tom Ford has against women? In addition to the image at left, the new ads for his Tom Ford for Men fragrance feature a fully-naked woman with an oversized bottle of the fragrance "wedged" between her thighs. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Speaking of fragrance, the latest Estee Lauder fragrance being shilled by Gwyneth Paltrow smells like marshmallows. If anything makes us gag more than Gwyneth, it's the idea of smelling like S'mores. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• More proof that the fashion industry sorta sucks: Ann Taylor's chief marketing officer has thrown in the towel. [WSJ]

• The first-lady-to-be of Turkey is modernizing the Muslim symbol of female modesty, the head scarf, with inspiration from Italian sexpot Sophia Loren. [Guardian UK]
• Sadie Frost, the ex-Mrs. Jude Law, says her clothing line FrenchFrost's latest collection is inspired by imperfection. Because she no longer finds beautiful men perfect. Uh, bitter much? [Vogue UK]
• Big trend alert: Wearing vintage! [ABC News]
• Who will wear Balenciaga's Fall/Winter shoe designs? Uh, rich bitches and wannabes. [Sassybella]
• Japanese model Sayako Yamaguchi died yesterday at the age of 57. [Breitbart]

• An exhibit of Nancy Reagan's wardrobe? Fashion Week Daily titling its item on the exhibit "First Lady of Fashion"? Everyone knows that the First Lady of Fashion was a Democrat! Jacqueline Kennedy! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Time to puke: Accessories designer Gina Alexander is creating a line of Jimi Hendrix tribute bags. [Vogue UK]
  
• Further evidence of impending apocalypse: Portfolio fashion blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe gives a shout-out to our Gawker brethren. [Portfolio]
  
• But don't worry, then Goldstein Crowe swiftly slams both Halston designer Marco Zanini and the Halston brand itself, in all of, like, two sentences. [Portfolio]

• Over at Macy's things look grim. Very, very grim. [New York Business]
• Estee Lauder, however? Kicking some major ass! [Reuters]
• J.C. Penney's is also doing pretty well. They credit lingerie and back-to-school sales. We think this is the most awkward combination ever. Unless you are Humbert Humbert. [WSJ]
• Stupid-thing-that-we-really-want of the day: MAC limited edition blue nail polish. Ok or rather, we want the inevitable Cover Girl or Wet 'N Wild knock-off of the MAC limited edition blue nail polish. Same difference. [Coutorture]
• Stupid-thing-that-we-think-is-really-stupid of the day: The sweater vest. And reports of its return. [FabSugar]

Reese Witherspoon's Beauty Move [Fashion Week Daily]