"As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her:

Country-crossover-singer-songwriter and America's unicorn Taylor Swift very likely touched footballer and rumored Te-beau Tim Tebow's Te-boner last month, but he was too busy being a virgin (or maybe being a virgin in the company of Dianna Agron) to hold her interest. She may have moved on with Mark Foster, lead singer …

Liberal airing of stupid grievances is a practice that's been perfected on the internet, and nothing gives people stupid crap to be mad about like sports broadcasts. Thankfully, ESPN has streamlined the complaining process, giving users the opportunity to sort their kvetching into categories. Users can complain about…

• This morning, Radar posted a photo which was purportedly taken hours after Mel Gibson punched Oksana Grigorieva in the mouth. However, her dentist says the photo has been doctored, casting doubt onto her abuse claims.

• You know how Pink does insane acrobatics during her shows? She was injured during her concert in Germany. Click to watch.

• Today a judge sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 90 days in jail followed by a 90-day inpatient rehab program for violating her probation. Lindsay broke down while addressing the court and said, "I did the best I could."

• A public school in Provincetown, Massachusetts, has decided to make condoms available to all students, regardless of age. A representative from the Massachusetts Family Institute has called this policy "absurd."

• The Spice Girls are planning another comeback tour.

[New York May 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]