The Paris Climate Agreement Has Been Adopted
After two weeks of marathon negotiations, 195 countries approved an accord that would wean the world off fossil fuels this century, limiting global warming to 2ºC, with an aspirational target of 1.5ºC. It’s the first successful end to a global climate summit after two decades of failed negotiations.
WI Gov. Scott Walker Wishes DNR Happy Earth Day by Threatening Layoffs
Scott Walker, the barely sentient potato who’s been elected governor of Wisconsin not once, not twice, but three times, is celebrating Earth Day in his own special way. Throughout the week, nearly 60 employees of the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources have received notice that they might soon be laid off.
Fish Don't Want Your Birth Control Pills, Thanks
Bad news about birth control pills: they might keep you from getting pregnant/regulate your cycle/all that jazz, but they're causing reproductive problems in fish, who are picking up their chemical byproducts through sewage systems connected to waterways.
New York Proposes Eliminating All the Shitty State Swans
The State of New York might launch a huge offensive against a nasty invasive species that tears up underwater vegetation, threatens passenger jets, and (occasionally) attacks people with the raw, avian vindictiveness of an avenging archangel. Unfortunately for the State of New York and its beleaguered PR interns, that…
When Your Clothes Die, They Become Earth-Devouring Zombie Clothes
It’s spring! No, even better — it’s summer! It’s summer and it’s hot as a fevered uvula outside, which means that your seasonal amnesia is already urging you to take all your useless winter clothes, pile them up on the street, pour gasoline all over them, and light them on fire, sending thick, ozone-puncturing…
We've Fucked Over the Environment So Now We Have to Eat Bugs and Play in Poop
Are you happy now, humans? Are you happy? It's 2012 and the prognosis is not good. The glaciers are melting, the polar bears are drowning, the people of Vanuatu are floating around their living rooms in washtubs like Pippi Longstocking or some shit, and I never even got to look at a glacier or pet a polar bear OR hang…


