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Catch & Release


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CordeliaShirley
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
I've had variations on this story many a time.

One of them involves a guy who approached me as a stranger who'd seen my work and wanted to collaborate, was going to call me. Eight months later, without a single word since then, he works up the nerve to ask me out. Spends two weeks telling me how he'd PINED for me all those months, how crazy he was for me, how I was the most beautiful person EVER, how LUCKY he was, etc etc.

Then he disappeared. Upon resurfacing he confessed that perhaps I was not the person he had imagined me to be.

Ass.
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veronykah
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
I love posts like this. They keep me from feeling like I am the only one that seems to be a douche magnet.
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jeepgirl
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
I just said this to someone the other day:
If he's dumb enough to walk away, you should be smart enough to let him go.
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veronykah
05/01/09

@jeepgirl: I need to print that out and read it every day.
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CordeliaShirley
05/01/09

@jeepgirl: I just might need you in my life.
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Whiskey and Popcorn
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
Jez why are you stalking me? If so, can you please explain if he really did see Golum in the bushes at the restaurant that day, and had to go find him? I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION!
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Maulleigh
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
LOL. You kill me Anna. Yeah, I dated some guy for a couple months and dumped him cuz he was a zero. Later he told me he pined for me for MONTHS. Did I get a phone call? No.

Some clown was after my roommate for awhile. She didn't think it was anything more than mutual bootycalls--until one night when he cornered her in a car and talked her ear off for two hours about how much he loved her.

And then she never really heard from him again.
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Rare Affinity
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
I was briefly involved with a guy who I met onine. We exchanged e-mails and telephone calls. He wrote me such over the top love letters I told him to show more restraint. Frnakly his protestations of undying love were ridculous I could not take them seriously. We met up. The next day he sent me an e-mail sayig "This is to inform you I have met someone else." The guy was a total user. My instincts warned me that there was something unpleasant about him but because he was so ugly I gave him the benefit of the doubt, not wanting his lack of beauty to be an excuse for me turning him down without a chance, even though my own alarm bells had been ringing like mad shortly after he got in contact. I imagine he behaves lie that to a great many women. Another more vulnrable woman might have fallen for his smooth lies and felt devastated when he casually dumped her. I just though: next time listen to your gut instincts.
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Flackette Goes Retro
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
My own mr. "When we get married" disappeared, only to resurface living with another woman two weeks later. Fuck that shit.
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NerD: Blattella
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
Help me out here.

He pursues her, she rebuffs his advances. He moves on.

How is he the jerk in this scenario?

Is it just the fact that we was more prolific in his outpouring of affection? Was he supposed to pine forever for a woman that had no interest in him. He made it clear what he wanted, he was rebuffed.
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fireflyinjuly
05/01/09

@NerD!!!: I don't think she thought of him as a jerk - I think she was more perplexed about his pursuit and rapid switch of emotions.
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Mediokra
05/01/09

@fireflyinjuly: I agree with you completely ... I was trying to say this in a reply but you are far more succinct. Some are trying to argue that she was the jerk for leading him on, but I don't see that like that ... it's more of a story of how people react to unrequited love. No one is really at fault.
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Maritsa
05/01/09

@NerD!!!: I don't think he's a jerk, the writer doesn't seem to either. I think the excerpt above is misleading, it makes it seem like he did this in a relationship, which WOULD make him a jerk. Some people might just be commenting on the excerpt, not the entire article.
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NerD: Blattella
05/01/09

@fireflyinjuly: I guess my concern is you only see her side of this, because she's writing the piece.
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fireflyinjuly
05/01/09

@NerD!!!: As someone who has experienced this multiple times, I couldn't even fathom what was going on with him.
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NerD: Blattella
05/01/09

@fireflyinjuly: What I understand from the men I know: When man tells you this, he means it. If he is told to move on, he shuts it off. It may seem hypocritical, but no more than being upset that the person you've rebuffed has moved on.

If it's the same guy doing it over and over to the same girl: He's playing with her emotions.
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KittenFluff
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
I haven't clicked through to read the article, but the above excerpt pretty much sums up my last breakup. We were together for over two years and then he ended it by never calling or emailing me again (or responding to my calls or emails). It was long distance at that point, so I couldn't just, like, show up at his apartment and demand an explanation.
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Joyce Carol Hall and Oates
05/01/09

@KittenFluff: HOLY CRAP. I am sorry but that is the most horrific break-up story I have ever heard. TWO YEARS and then just silence? Wow. I am so sorry.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
Well, maybe he met some other girl who he REALLY couldn't live without, and REALLY couldn't stop telling her how he feels. Then, after he's been with her for a week or two, he might meet another some girl he just absolutely, positively, no-way no-how cannot even breathe without and won't ever be able to stop himself from constantly spewing his feelings to. In short, the guy's a douche. And not just a regular one. No. He's a serial douche. And those, my dear, are a dime a hundred. Welcome to the ranks of ladies who are getting wise to the ways of les douches.
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NefariousNewt
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
Suddenly, I hear Sting wafting through my brain...
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fuzzyorangabear
05/01/09

@NefariousNewt: Really? What us he singing?
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IHazKittehz
05/01/09

@fuzzyorangabear: The Stalker's Anthem?

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
05/01/09

@IHazKittehz:

and if I built this fortress around your heart

encircled you with trenches and barbed wire

then let me build a bridge for I cannot fill the chasm

and let me set the battlements on fire ...
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Notes from the underwhelmed
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
Oh, this is the story of everyone's life.
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fol_de_rol
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
Here was my life in the first half of 2001:

"You're the kind of girl I could fall in love with."

"I'm just not ready for a relationship right now."

"Yeah, [redacted] and I are moving in together."

That was a bad, bad, BAD year. Messed me up for a LONG time.
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veronykah
05/01/09

@fol_de_rol: Ah mine was end of 2007 beginning of 2008..

"I really adore you, really, I miss you"

"I need some alone time."

"I really do miss you"

"I can't see you anymore. I need to focus on my career"

What a douche.
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Skellatrix
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
What the hell is this woman complaining about? "That night, I e-mailed Dream and told him to stop contacting me." And... he did! Wow! Girlfriend needs to go on "Tough Love"
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BlowJoy
05/01/09

In reply to Catch & Release
Cultural differences, I say. I was freaked out by all the over the top, flowery love letters I'd get from young (and not so young) men while living in Latin America. But that's just the norm there. Dramatic, until something else comes along.

And mmmm, menthol candies.
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R_Claw
05/01/09

@BlowJoy: Yes! My latest to have this happen was Spanish. I was so easily drawn in to all the romance, and then just as easily dumped for another that came along. I had no idea not to put my faith into his words, but now I know, I guess...
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margareita metermaid
05/01/09

@BlowJoy: Exactly. See my comment on another page-- this shit is par for the course when you travel. I still get stupid flowery emails from dudes I met while in Asia/Mexico/etc.

I think the author was kind of naive.
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Brigit
05/01/09

@BlowJoy: This jerk I dated would write passive aggressive, horribly spelled love letters and leave them in the windshields of my best friends' cars.

Thankfully, this happened when I was quite young and so I learned quickly to avoid unintelligent, poem-writing, emo, caco jerks.

/Yes this was a fellow latino.

//Yes, an emo regeattonero bitches, you read right.
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the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
05/01/09

@R_Claw: Watch the stereotypes, please. I am the product of an American/Spanish relationship that started with a chance meeting and lots of letters. My dad is Spanish, my mom is American, and they met in a random park when she was studying abroad. I think their story is a lovely one. It's not just Latinos, or 'foreigners' that are capable of being creepy/clingy/flowery letter writers. Sorry if I took this too seriously, but it's a bit of a sensitive issue with me.
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