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Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?

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boxspelunker
06/29/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
I wrote a few love letters in my day - one to my first girlfriend, for whom I had very strong feelings. Admittedly, it wasn't the healthiest relationship and I wrote TONS of terrible poetry (about her tiny hands) after we broke up (over the weirdest, stupidest shy misunderstanding). I do not remember if I ever gave her any of them. I should ask her; we are good friends again.

I sent my current partner a love letter two years ago - I am his first partner, and he was really shy about everything. Honestly, I thought it would make him happy. There was nothing in it I couldn't say to his face and I don't think he kept it. Which kinda hurts, but whatever. I wanted him to know that I appreciated him.

If I were to read it now, I would be terribly embarrassed, but any strong emotional display embarrasses me, so... yeah. Not a big deal. As a bunch of others have said, it really only means something and doesn't sound stupid when you're the one reading it and you feel the same.
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LadyNo Fondles Sweaters
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
My now-husband was in love with me before I was with him, and he sent me a letter telling me so. He was so open and unafraid of rejection, it was one of the reasons I fell for him.

Years later when we were engaged, I found the notebook where he had tried to start the letter 20 times and gave up. Page after page of "Dear LadyNo," and then one or two sentences scratched out. The best was this one:

Dear LadyNo,

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I'm glad he didn't send it because it would have probably creeped me out. But I sure am glad I got to see. Damn, I'm going to go give him a big smooch right now!
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meritxell: an erotic life
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
Well I've never gotten or written a love letter (sob!) but I bet the Hemingway approach is best. Keep it sparse and to the point! Less is more! But don't write metaphorically about having an abortion or how you got shot in the peen during WWI! Those are turn offs.
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mariamariamaria
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
For mere mortals, short and sweet is best. I will always remember the letter (note?) I got that simply said "I can't stop thinking about you".

For immortals, I give you Beethoven's letter to his immortal beloved... ever thine, ever mine, ever ours
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HereComesMyBaby
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
I can't imagine feeling close enough to a dude to write him a love letter. Maybe one day, when it feels natural and not forced...

But I will say that my high school boyfriend wrote me a lot of love letters, and they are very sweet. He also wrote me poetry, which was, interesting.

I still keep the letters!
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elixthecat
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
dear boy,

i love you.

sincerely,

elixthecat
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meritxell: an erotic life
06/27/09

@elixthecat: Riiiiiiiiiiiight?
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Mediokra
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
Odd timing ... I just came across some letters from my ex. They were written to me while I was away as a camp counselor during our very first few months of dating (I had lined up the counselor job before I met him). We dated for nearly three years, but the last year of our relationship was this soul-sucking downward spiral of mutual nastiness. I still loved him even though I knew it wasn't working, and I was heartbroken when it ended. All can remember about the relationship was how it fell apart, so when I found these letters, I was surprised at how expressive and loving he was, you know, at the beginning. And even though I have a v. serious boyfriend now, I cried and cried when I reread the letters. I couldn't help it.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
Aw, Hortense. Such a sweet subject. Makes me all gooey in my heart-place. Anyway, I've never written any love letters, but tend to elaborate a little when I give Mr. Foibles a holiday or birthday card. You know, like for Christmas, for example: Every day spent with you is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. That sort of thing. I'm not really an emotional person, I guess. (Shocking, I know, since all the ladiez are supposed to go around emoting all the time.) I do have those sorts of squishy feelings about him, but I can't really verbalize them, because I feel like affixing words to them will cheapen them somehow. Or maybe it's because there aren't any sufficient words I know of to do those feelings justice. Oh, my God, though, I would LOVE to get a love letter from him. Simply because he's not a squisher either and it'd be so sweet and honest and shy. Squee.
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sciencerules
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
I have every love letter I was ever written. Mostly because I really like letters--writing them and receiving them, and also because I think my kids someday will get a kick out of reading them. I also wrote a lot of love letters.

I really think we need to open up and re-embrace emotions other than cynicism and irony. Being in love is fantastic, even if others find it cheesy, and why not express that? A former friend of mine had this attitude that cool kids don't have interests or feelings other than a vague sense of superiority all the time. That's why she's a former friend, and I'm still gleefully, cheerfuly, disgustingly in love.
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andBegorrah
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
The Purloined Letter Approach to expressing love mitigates the ridiculousness and embarrassment of such, well, abject sincerity*; Shklovsky had it right in Zoo, or Letters Not About Love. That said, love letters are like reverse ransom notes in a way - you have my heart, my dignity, my fragile sense of self-worth which has now become all tangled up in you, and this letter is calling to you, pleading for reciprocity.

*Though that is sort of the nature of the thing (namely, love), no?
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kelsium
06/27/09

@andBegorrah: All extremely, painfully true.

One has to wonder how the Internet age has changed written expressions of love. Mini love-letters are exchanged via email, IM, text message. Are we operating with a greater, constant level of sincerity because of the ease of transferring these sentiments, or have we been spoiled for sincerity because of this ease? Have our shrinking vocabularies lessened our ability to put love into words? There's no way to quantify this, but I am inclined toward the latter answer to the first question, and to say yes to the second.
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andBegorrah
06/27/09

@kelsium: @kelsium: Not to be too emosanthropic and Ludditist about it, but internet culture seems to simply highlight the ways in which love letters and the like are not really about the addressee but rather the addresser. The sincerity - the strident, crushing, hyper-sincerity of both infatuation and online communications (curious overlap, that) - is still there, but with the greater prospect of permanence, a sort of living on in perpetuity in someone's inbox, Facebook profile, Tumlr page, blog, whatever, the words that are our sole means of self-expression are all the more about just that: self-expression, rather than conveying to the recipient how, why, and that they are beloved. The practice over a century ago of returning a lover's letters when the affair was over was not just a matter of respecting and preserving the person's honor by denying yourself the means of blackmail or social embarrassment, but an acknowledgment that those letters were always theirs, an offering of themselves, a loan of their emotional selves, instead of something belonging to and truly "about" the recipient.
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Le Kangourou de Kataroo
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
I personally love writing love letters. Maybe they do tend to be sappy and over the top, but I have a tendency to fall hard and fast and it reflects the way I feel. The best is the reminder of the love that was there. On of my exes had to hire a personal assistant to get his life in order, and when she stumbled across our love letters she was stunned by the feeling in them. But, that's what I felt toward the man at the time, and even though I will always love him in a different way, it's nice to know he will have the memory of being loved so passionately.

It's ironic, because I'm in the healthiest relationship of my love now and I don't feel the need or motivation to write my boyfriend odes. Instead I leave him a cute note on his wipeboard in his kitchen every morning I stay over for him to find when he gets home from work. Sillier letters, with just as much feeling.

I still love love letters though. It's much easier to express my feelings in words. The curse of a writer.
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veganthankgoodness
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
When I was in college I wrote my high school love letters all the time, and he replied back with equally dorky love letters.

After a dirty break up I threw them all away, but I actually have a few emailed love letters backed up on my gmail account. I can't get myself to delete them, because they really were sweet and a good example of cheesy first love. I'm sure I'll enjoy reminiscing over them every now and then. :)
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EsmereldaFitzmonster
06/27/09

@veganthankgoodness: I saved all my emails from one ex for years, but mainly because I had forgotten about them. When I remembered they were still there after about 2 years, I deleted the whole folder. Haven't missed them!
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EsmereldaFitzmonster
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
Oh boy, I have a few stacks of forgotten letters from my teenage years lying around somewhere... one guy I dated at 17 wasn't the writer type, but I do recall him writing "My heart aches for you" and how head-over-heels I was for him... and now he's married with a kid at 22, and I'm too embarrassed to even re-read those cheesy letters!

My current boyfriend has written me a few really sweet cards, but nothing that veers into ridiculous territory (or so I think now, I guess). We tend to write the occasional "love sentence" in random emails, I suppose, but nothing too over-the-top. The best thing about whispering to each other at night is that whatever is said there, stays there!
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Dodgergirl
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
You know, I think it's very difficult to write something that heartfelt and personal that doesn't sound a little silly to people on the outside, but it is possible.

And no matter what, I think we can all take basic precautions, like not using the phrase "exotic tan lines."
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YourScreenplaySucks
06/27/09

In reply to Is There Any Way To Write A Love Letter Without Sounding Ridiculous?
Expressing yourself well on paper is a rare talent. And a talent that needs to be developed through effort & practice. To expect anyone to be able to sit down & write a beautiful & original love letter is like expecting anyone to be able to draw a beautiful picture or compose a song.

Yet because unlike painting or music, so many people have the fundamental tools at their disposal(i.e. they can perform the physical act of writing & are fluent in a language), they think they are going to be better than awful/mediocre at it when there's no basis for that belief.
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EsmereldaFitzmonster
06/27/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: Too true. I'm glad you mentioned this.
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kelsium
06/27/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: Hence, your username.
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pantsless economist...access RESTORED
06/27/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: Truth.

I realized this in English class in high school. Our teacher said she'd give us extra credit for writing poems and turning them in to her. I wrote a couple, and they were SO BAD I was too embarrassed to let anyone see them.
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pantsless economist...access RESTORED
06/27/09

@pantsless economist...ACCESS DENIED by new overlords: So I didn't turn them in. And got a B instead of an A. Oh well.
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