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Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?

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Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
01/04/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
It took me several minutes to read this article because I was salivating over Dr Cox in Scrubs. Then I look at this and think "OH! DANIEL CRAIG!" so for a minute or two I looked at him.

Not, of course, that my boyfriend, sitting two feet away from me, has realised this. Basically, fellas, we're just as pervy as you we're just smart enough not to get in trouble for it.

(Although my boss isn't too fond of my Johnny Depp slideshow screensaver)
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
Watch out - my housemates and I are going to lead the topless revolution later this year what with our love of being naked/in our underwear and all the nude portraits we're going to have on the walls. Seriously.
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bananaprincess
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
Once I read an article by a person in the process of becoming female to male tranny, where she described the effects of taking testosterone. I remember the article taking about being at a fun fair with lots of cleavage and just desperately wanting to grab it. I found it an interesting insight from someone who had been on both sides of the fence. My two and a half year old loves to pat my boobs. It is a servival instinct ( food !) very strong.
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misspell
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
Maguire writes: "That far fewer men than women are harassed or attacked by people claiming sexual provocation is not because women aren't visually aroused, but because women have learnt that their biological responses to beauty are not an excuse to commit acts of violence or discrimination." While I definitely agree that women can reign it in pretty well, I also think that, as much as I hate to admit it, I would have a hard time overpowering Daniel Craig with brute strength. And I also hate to admit that if a guy looked like I could actually overpower him physically, I probably wouldn't want to. I think that's biological too.
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Xiu MeiEurodork
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
I honestly think that if more women were topless in environments away from wet t-shirt contests, Spring Break, that Girls Gone Wild tool, and country music concerts at fairgrounds, men would quickly learn that those breasts are for politely admiring rather than an invitation to lewd remarks and worse (much worse.) I have to say that I can enjoy breasts without having to ask that they jiggle just so, suggest they need some sort of whipped cream on them, or having to state my appreciation by hooting like some sort of blue-balled bonobo. Too bad so many men would decide it's an opportunity for a quick, uncomfortable grope. And that's just the start.

Women don't (generally) act (in public) like sex-crazed loons because men wouldn't respond kindly to it. Many men act like that because the places they are able to see breasts actually encourage that nonsense. I can't imagine how any transition period would go from the present to an ideal future where women could show their breasts without making a fuss, but I do know I'd welcome the change.

The law is the first place to start, the culture may or may not change later.

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RedHotz
01/04/09

I am thankful that I saw several saying that they got turned on by the sight of men because I was like uh oh am I gonna be weird here. I am a very visual person and I freely admit that a good looking guy can easily turn me on. Even being married I still look as my husband says I am married not dead. I look just don't touch. I got some friends of my daughters laughing today when they were talking about actors they thought were cute. I mentioned of course the ones that I said would always have my interest. Some of them being Sean Connery, Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot. They all cracked up when I said Sam Elliot's voice could turn a dead woman on.
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CHIC NOIR
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
I've always thought that those small tribal/ethnic groups on National Geographic type shows and documentaries have this nudity thing figured out. While men in the West act crazed at the sight of a naked body, the sight of a nice pair not in the least throws off tribal males.
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onestrawplz
01/04/09

@CHIC NOIR: I totes agree. Men here just freak out over the sight of a tit because he is trained to since birth.
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onestrawplz
01/04/09

@onestrawplz: It's kinda like how men in some Middle Eastern countries are turned on by a woman's ankle.
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Wendy Marie Testaburger
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
Am I the only one that has sex with random hot guys IN MY HEAD within a couple seconds of beholding their hotness?
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Ascendo_tuum
01/03/09

@Eaten not Slurped: Definitely not! I mentally have sex with lots of hot women that I see, too.
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The Plain People of Ireland (formerly cheerfulp is always...)
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
Am I better at controlling lust? Yeah, as I've gotten older. I can (cough) have a mad crush on someone I work with (let's just say) and have my merry way with him in my imagination - and then run into him at work or socially and be PERFECTLY FINE. Really.

...

Well, okay, mostly. But there was that one time he turned up in a suit...I had to sit on my hands to keep them from shaking.

Right! See y'all in a minute. *exits*
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hellosunshine
01/03/09

@cheerfulpessimist: Oh honey. Three years later, I still have a raging crush on one of my old coworkers. Doesn't help that we made out twice (drunkenly, Boyfriend and I were legit on a break) and that he's pretty much my perfect guy. And looks hot in, well, everything.

...uh. BRB.
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ellaesther
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
I like the end ("nipples, we've all got 'em. Cool, huh?"), probably especially because I'm working on just this attitude with my little girl, who, at five, is beginning to do the socially-acceptable thing of being "grossed out" by or "embarrassed" by various body parts. "Guess what, honey. Everyone has X -- and everyone knows that you have X. It's not a big deal."

Ah, if only we would raise men to be as responsible as we raise women. Then perhaps we wouldn't have to hide our bodies to protect their delicate sensibilities. (And yes, the 9 year old boy in our house gets the same lectures. Mais oui!)
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TurtleSpeak
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
Also, when discussing this with my boyfriend last night he opened my eyes to another side effect of the rejection of female lust- he doesn't really feel like his body has the power to be arousing. Because naked men are rarely ever sexualized. Which is really sad because he is totally hot.
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Ascendo_tuum
01/03/09

@TurtleSpeak: That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry describes the naked male body as 'utilitarian' and the female body as 'art' or something like that.
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TurtleSpeak
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
I was just talking about this with my boytoy the other day. OF COURSE straight women get turned on by the male form. That's why we're HETEROSEXUAL instead of ASEXUAL. Seeing as I grew up female, surrounded with female friends, sisters and a lusty mother (married to my dad but always rewinding the news on her TiVo so she can check out the "nice doctor" on the medical segment or listen to some "nice black man" talking on CNN one more time)- I know that straight women are just as into cute guys as men are into cute girls.

Men aren't more visual. Sorry. Just isn't true. If men think that... they are happily deluding themselves. If they could become a fly on the wall at any conversation occuring between a few straight chicks at any given moment, they will find that deep inside many of us are horndogs just like they are. Our animal sexuality is not as recognized by the media or society at large but it still exists.
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Ascendo_tuum
01/03/09

@TurtleSpeak: Agreed. I think I'm very visual. I'll even come out of the closet right here on Jezebel and admit that I watch porn.
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leslieannelevine
01/04/09

@Ascendo_tuum: I do too, and I'm kind of shocked every time someone is shocked by it. I mentioned it to a guy I was hooking up with recently, and I couldn't quite tell if he was horrified or thrilled. And then I remembered why I don't tell people: porn is dirty, and women don't watch it.
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Ascendo_tuum
01/04/09

@jammiriffic: I don't care what anyone thinks anymore..I bought a 'Porntastic' hat. Luckily for me, most every guy I've ever dated was THRILLED that I wanted to watch it with them.
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cuteasabutton
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
I do remember there being a lot of lusty ladies here during the olympics last year...

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ellaesther
01/03/09

@cuteasabutton...has a new avatar for '09 bishes.: Wowie! cute, you just gave me the vapors.
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clevernamehere
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
An FYI- In NYC it is legal for a woman to go topless as long as she isn't advertising anything. I wouldn't reccomend it, but there was a court case circa 2000 that established the law after a woman was fined for sunbathing topless.
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clevernamehere
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
I have a 5 year old cousin who really likes boobs. He likes to sit next to me and nuzzle againist them. On Christmas he decided that nuzzling wasn't enough and started grabbing them. His father's response was all men want to do that, shrug. Generally he is a pretty enlightened guy (he made me his daughter's godmother so I could teach her to be a feminist), but he doesn't get that gender isn't an excuse. His daughter really likes to sit in men's laps more than women's, in a non-dirty 2 year old kind of way but that doesn't mean she can start grabbing men's crotches.
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trouble
01/03/09

In reply to Are Women Better At Controlling Lust?
I respect Daniel as a human being with thoughts and feelings and a right to be treated like a person not a piece of meat (and has pecs I could eat trifle off, yes, mmmm) - and when a man treats a woman like this its like brownie points rather than the expected thing - I have too many girlfriends who think a guy is great because, you know, he really supports me in my career and he doesn't mind when on Sundays I sit on the sofa in my pj's. Seriously. This is standard behaviour in my book. A great guy is one who puts my pj's on the heater to warm up and hands me the sundays with a mug of coffee and says 'if you want warming up let me know'.
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ellaesther
01/03/09

@trouble: I have been known to say to my husband (who really is a peach of a guy and only very rarely deserves it) "You don't get extra points for not being an asshole. I wouldn't have married an asshole."
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