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Emily Yoffe Won't Justify Being A Jerkface
New York, 9:10 PM
Sun Nov 8
22 posts in the last 24 hours
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Emily Yoffe Won't Justify Being A Jerkface |
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12/23/08
12/23/08
I heart Emily Yoffe's Human Guinea Pig column, but I'm not wild about Dear Prudence. Guess I just can't get rid of the bad smell of old Dear Prudence. And I just prefer reading to video.
12/23/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
Shit, I'd be depressed if I lived in that universe too!
12/22/08
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12/22/08
12/22/08
Does that work for you? (It's not a rickroll, I swear)
12/22/08
It's funny, I like Emily's advice on serious questions much better than I do her advice on more trivial ones. Occasionally she's shown an astonishing lack of sense when dealing with, say, "I have a co-worker who doesn't wear a bra" or some such, but when the heavy snows fall, she can usually handle it.
12/23/08
12/22/08
(sing that to the tune of it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas)
12/22/08
Tough noogies.
Depressed or not, it just isn't done. Not without her fully-informed consent.
12/22/08
12/22/08
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12/22/08
Oh yes, the next Christmas will be spectacular. Mom can just rearrange the seating cards!
Also, bonding over your sister's mental health problems are the way lasting relationship are built, dontchaknow?!
12/22/08
12/22/08
Tough stuff all around. Clinically depressed sister needs some serious treatment, and while marriage is for better or worse, that commercial that says "who does depression hurt? everyone." is completely true. I'm sorry, while I'm not urging the author and the husband to continue their affair (bad stuff), I'm not eager to say this guy has to be miserable for the rest of his life. The depressed woman has an obligation to try to get better. And depressed people typically aren't good at hearing that.
I wouldn't want to be the last car on that emotional rollercoaster either, if there were no hope of improvement in the future.
12/22/08
Maybe that isn't the wife's situation, but I don't think you can say she has an obligation to try to get better.
12/22/08
I understand that some people will never get better. I think it's the trying that is necessary. At its core, depression makes a person behave in selfish ways (not their fault, just the disease's effect), and it brings the rest of the family down with it. I think he has to be there for her, but I don't think he has to be married to her to do that if she's irretrievably gone. (Remember that awful movie "What Dreams May Come"?)
Of course, you have to put in a LOT of time and effort before you can decide that you can't stay in that situation day to day. But if there's no light at the end of the tunnel, he'd have to put her in a care facility or find some distance so that he, too, doesn't go down the dark tunnel.
12/22/08
Honestly, I'm kind of disgusted by this rant on how she should try to get better in a post about woman whose sister and husband are getting it on.
Her mental illness is a red herring. It doesn't justify cheating. He could have left, she obviously has family around.
12/22/08
@kungfutoday: Let me just say, it is incredibly hard to know where to draw that line. This guy sounds like a jerk, though.
12/22/08
Best of luck in dealing with your partner. I hope that you both get all the help you need.
12/23/08
It's interesting because I just had a conversation with my boyfriend the other day about taking control over those aspects of his life that he can have control over. For example, he does not have control over the neurochemical imbalance in his brain; he does, however, have control over taking his medication regularly, according to doctor's orders. Not taking his medication (which he has done nefore) has a major effect on him. We both believe it is his obligation to do so reglarly and in good faith.
All in all, our situation is fundamentally different than the one in Yoffe's column, though, because both the sister and husband are being selfish and morally reprehensible people. Even if the husband had reached his "breaking point," an extra-marital affair is not ok. I always say if you want out of a relationship, fine, but get out before you start seeing someone else.
12/22/08
If sis gets better, she's prolly gonna want blood.
Just sayin.'
12/22/08
12/22/08
when I was washing the blood off my hands,
I EVEN KNEW THEY WERE DEAD.
12/22/08
I love you.
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/23/08