On the surface, Emily is a cute name, a little name. Like Molly, it has that -ly ending that makes it sound sweet, childlike, pixieish. And when I picture an Emily, she is cute. She wears the aforementioned pigtails — she may even be able to pull them off past the age of 18. She's got freckles, and she probably owns a pair of Mary Janes. But beneath her adorable exterior lurks evil. It's not a bitchy, mean-girl type of evil, though. It's an evil that can be kind of awesome — as long as you're not on the wrong side of it.

Part of my evil-Emily idea may come from literary Emilies who were not what they seemed. Reclusive, supposedly virginal Emily Dickinson may not have been so chaste after all — and her poems about "wild nights" and volcanoes certainly weren't. Emily Brontë also never married and was, at least according to Anne Carson, antisocial and awkward. But she wrote the best — and the scariest — book of her whole literary family. Then there's Emily the Strange, who with her trademark Mary Janes and inscrutable gaze is clearly capable of dark things — including stealing the identity of a certain Nate the Great character.

Hollywood Emilies Blunt and Watson tend to play characters with an edge, and though Emily Mortimer often plays sweet, her face and voice have some mischief in them. In fact, she might be the best person to play my image of the quintessential Emily — someone underestimated because of her cuteness who is more than capable of cutting a bitch, perhaps in an ingenious and underhanded way. This Emily is a good friend to have, especially if your life sometimes called for someone devious. But she's a dangerous enemy. Her name actually means "rival" — watch out if she's yours.

Emily [Wikipedia]

I love European travel, but my girlfriend has travel restrictions outside the United States for at least one more year...I really like her, but this is causing me some resentment; she hinted that she's okay with my traveling by myself — but in a passive-aggressive manner, I suspect. Any words of wisdom?

Dorthy Parker:
"You overestimate your appeal/
She'll pack your bags with joyful zeal."

Ernest Hemingway: This is why God made French whores. And Spanish whores. I'm forgetting some whores.

Casanova: That's what we call a "business trip."

Emily Dickinson: What is this "travel" of which you speak?

Lizzie Borden: What is this "passive aggression" of which you speak?

Joseph McCarthy: "Travel restrictions?" And what are these "European" countries you're so very eager to visit?

Abelard: So, you "love" travel and "like" this woman? Enduring Love: ur doin it rong. [translated from the Latin.]

Isak Dinesen: I disagree. This is curtailing your ability to travel? End it.

George M. Cohan: Wait, why would you want to leave the GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD? [Dances.]

Marie Antoinette: Travel restrictions? I don't understand. You just call a carriage, nicht wahr?

Alfred Dreyfus: Don't talk to me about resentment, Monsieur.

Sir Thomas More: What do you mean, "hinted?"

Ernest Hemingway: Remembered! Cuban whores.

Jack Kerouac: Fuck the government.

CAROLYN HAX [Washington Post]

Earlier: How Do I Tell Everyone That This Guy Died Of Prostate Cancer Because He Was An Adulterer?
"My Marriage Is Falling Apart Because I'm A Mac, And He's A PC."
What To Do When You're In Love With Your Sister's Widower?
"How Do I Keep My Sullen Daughter From Alienating My Wealthy Boyfriend?"

• Addressing the alarming shortage of celebrity fragrances, Halle Berry, who is releasing her own, proclaims: "It’s a real, true expression of who I am — I was involved in all aspects of making it." [WWD]
• Oh, those wags at PETA! In another devastating jab at their fur-sporting nemeses, the animal rights wits have produced "Trollsen Twins" masks for us to wear on Halloween! "To complete the "Hairy Kate" and "Trashley" look, PETA recommends Starbucks, cigarettes and boho chic gear." [MollyGood]
• Hey! Wanna go to the Viktor & Rolf show? It's online! (No, you still can't afford anything.) [NY Mag]
• Kaiser Karl is coming to America! Specifically, Vermont. Quoth Lagerfeld, “I love it. It’s very much Emily Dickinson." [WWD]
• Leighton Meester "does her part to end domestic violence" by walking in a celebrity fashion show. [People]

• Irina Lazareanu, the Barbra of modeling, says she's really retiring this time. [Style.com]
• Yup, Alessandra Facchinetti's out at Valentino. [WWD]
• We're starting to feel bad for Lauren Conrad's clothing line . [Perez Hilton]
• And if LC and Heidi are too high-profile for you, perhaps you want to patronize a smaller designer, why, here's Audrina's denim line! [Perez Hilton]
• Anna Wintour: the Rasputin of the fashion world. [NY Mag]
• The CEO of Coach went all Joyce Carol Oates on us and just wrote a book about wrestling. [MediaBistro]
• Are we the only ones who think of Electra from Gypsy when we hear about all these high-tech "intelligent" clothes? This new jacket has a solar panel. Hey, you gotta have a gimmick! [Reuters]
• Possibly because of her complete blankness, Kate Moss is the most popular artist's muse of our age. [Independent]
• Kate also really likes that solid gold statue of herself. [VogueUK]
• She also doesn't wear underpants. And her hairdresser takes total credit for her style. [GraziaDaily]
• Rich people discover second-hand clothes. [LA Times]
• Uniqlo is up, at least. [WWD]
• New beauty director at Nylon, late of ElleGirl. [Fashionista]
• Vanessa Paradis on Johnny Depp: "Maybe I'm a good girlfriend because I'm his girlfriend. I'm not sure I'd be a good girlfriend to anyone else." Yeah, we're guessing we could go good for Sparrow, too. [ElleUK]

The wind tapped like a tired man,
And like a host, "Come in,"
I boldly answered; entered then
My residence within

A rapid, footless guest,
To offer whom a chair
Were as impossible as hand
A sofa to the air.

No bone had he to bind him,
His speech was like the push
Of numerous humming-birds at once

His countenance a billow,
His fingers, if he pass,
Let go a music, as of tunes
Blown tremulous in glass.

He visited, still flitting;
Then, like a timid man,
Again he tapped—'t was flurriedly—
And I became alone.

(From Nature)

Of all the sounds despatched abroad,
There's not a charge to me
Like that old measure in the boughs,
That phraseless melody

The wind does, working like a hand
Whose fingers brush the sky,
Then quiver down, with tufts of tune
Permitted gods and me.

When winds go round and round in bands,
And thrum upon the door,
And birds take places overhead,
To bear them orchestra,

I crave him grace, of summer boughs,
If such an outcast be,
He never heard that fleshless chant
Rise solemn in the tree,

As if some caravan of sound
On deserts, in the sky,
Had broken rank,
Then knit, and passed
In seamless company.

(From Nature)

The wind begun to rock the grass
With threatening tunes and low,—
He flung a menace at the earth,
A menace at the sky.

The leaves unhooked themselves from trees
And started all abroad;
The dust did scoop itself like hands
And throw away the road.

The wagons quickened on the streets,
The thunder hurried slow;
The lightning showed a yellow beak,
And then a livid claw.

The birds put up the bars to nests,
The cattle fled to barns;
There came one drop of giant rain,
And then, as if the hands

That held the dams had parted hold,
The waters wrecked the sky
But overlooked my father's house,
lust quartering a tree.

(The Wind Begun To Rock The Grass)

The daisy follows soft the sun,
And when his golden walk is done,
Sits shyly at his feet.
He, waking, finds the flower near.
"Wherefore, marauder, art thou here?"
"Because, sir, love is sweet!"

We are the flower, Thou the sun!
Forgive us, if as days decline,
We nearer steal to Thee, —
Enamoured of the parting west,
The peace, the flight, the amethyst,
Night's possibility!

(From Time And Eternity)

Earlier: Bon Joor, C'est Paris LOLVogue Encore!
What's The Message Behind A Black Man In Heels On The Cover Of Vogue?
French Vogue: Now With More Bearded Drag Queens
Olivier Theyskens Totally Naked in French Vogue: Hot or Not?
Mon Dieu! C'est French LOLVogue: Shoulders, Champagne and Cigarettes
French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!