• Less than six months after giving birth to daughter Honor, Jessica Alba is is pimping Campari in her skivvies. [People]
• First he loses the prestigious Sexiest Man Alive designation to Hugh Jackman, and now George Clooney is allegedly miffed because he wanted to direct Frost/Nixon but the honor went to Ron Howard. Frost/Nixon scribe Peter Morgan says, "I expect I will spend the rest of my life making amends to him - and my wife - and to everybody about my decision. Now I will never have him ringing me again, asking to do my work." [Daily Express]
• Kanye West has "taken a very public fancy" to "glamour model" Sophie Howard. Howard, 25, won Loaded's Most Beautiful Breasts poll. She does sound like a winner. [Mirror]

• Coldplay had iTunes best selling album of the year. Viva la Vida sold 500,000 copies through iTunes, keeping Gwyneth knee deep in Goop until at least 2010. [Independent]
• Speaking of Coldplay, apparently Chris Martin downs vitamins with Jameson's before going on stage. "At least a dozen pill bottles litter the floor next to Martin's yoga mat," according to Rolling Stone. What if he OD's on fish oil? Think of the children! [Rolling Stone]
• Oprah received $5 million for her South African girls school from a fervent McCain supporter, Dallas billionaire Harold Simmons. Sure, Simmons donated a lot of cash to the Swift Boat Veterans, but that doesn't mean his money can't buy books for poor kids. Fox News is painting this as hypocrisy on Oprah's part, but is it really? [Fox News]
• Remember that bar brawl that Josh Brolin and Jeffery Wright got into in July down in Louisiana? Well they're seemingly settling out of court and will likely avoid having to trek down to Shreveport to deal with it. [E! via Yahoo]
• Elvis Costello is still pissed that filmmaker Jared Hess co-opted his "Napoleon Dynamite" alter ego without attribution. "The guy just denies completely that I made the name up... but I invented it," Costello tells Spin. "Maybe somebody told him the name and he truly feels that he came about it by chance. But it's two words that you're never going to hear together." [Daily Express]
• Notorious tree hugger Daryl Hannah has joined an anti-whaling mission in Australia to "pursue Japan's Antarctic whaling fleet." Sounds swashbuckling! [Daily Mail]
• Mischa Barton's nekkid scene in Closing the Ring was named top boobie flash of the year. What an honor! [Daily Express]
• Kate Winslet is another actress who has no problem with nude scenes. "Every time I've been asked to do nudity on screen, I've always believed in the scene," sayeth Kate. "I think it's important that women on screen are portrayed as real women. I'm comfortable in my own skin and I'm comfortable with all the imperfections that I have." [People]
• John Mayer has found his inner domestic diva: he's really into baking cakes now. Does this mean he's a cake boy? [The Sun]
• A mere 3.9 million tuned in to watch Britney: On the Record, a number which falls far short of MTV's expectations. According to Perez, "Tila Tequila's season one finale of A Shot At Love scored 6 million viewers." Ouchie. [Perez]
• M.I.A. says pregnancy makes her more mellow. "When I sing, I have to be aware that someone can hear me inside…It's really strange. I definitely feel less angry." [People]
• In other pregnant lady news, hot Brit chef Jamie Oliver says his wife Jools has some bonkers cravings now that she is with bebe: "She’s basically an eating machine. Jools has gone mad on retro foods like fish paste and Marmite – stuff from her childhood. She dips bananas in Marmite! She even gets hot water bottles to chew on the rubber. It’s weird!" [Mirror]
• Patrick Swayze is striking back at tabloids reporting that he's on death's door. "It's upsetting that the shoddy and reckless reporting from these publications cast a negative shadow on the positive and good fight I'm fighting. For me, my family, and those close to me, it amounts to downright emotional cruelty. That makes me angry when hope is so precious," the Swayze says. [People]

• OMG Bobby Brown's autobiography is going to be sofa king awesome: "I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice. At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine." [Page Six]
  
• Madonna donated 100 copes of Vanity Fair to the Kabbalah Centre. You know, the one with her on the cover. Soooo generous. [Page Six]
  
• Beyoncé and Jay-Z: Getting married this Friday??? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Jay-Z is on the verge of a $150 million deal with Live Nation — one of the biggest music contracts ever. Would getting married first mean Beyoncé could be all, what's yours is mine? [Reuters]
  
• Jessica Alba's unborn baby is a girl, and will be named Honor Warren. [Star]

• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon: On vacay with the kids in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Cute! [MSNBC]
• Ed Westwick, aka Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, has been spotted drunk out on the town again. His publicist must be working overtime to get him in the papers, but he's so damn cute we're falling for it. [Page Six]
• Speaking of GG, Chace Crawford (aka Nate ) has had a rough few weeks after breaking up with Carrie Underwood and being accused of dating JC Chasez. But he's "doing okay," his sister, Miss Missouri, says. You can stop worrying. [People]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer says Britney's dad is doing a great job. There was a situation and that seems to be stabilized. Does that mean she's cured? Of course not." [People]
• Britney's manager, Larry Rudolph, says Britney will make the biggest comeback in history. [ONTD]
• Mariah Carey canceled interviews in London because she's "not a morning person." Viva la diva! [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse saw a gang of paparazzi camped out on her doorstep in the cold, so she made them tea and brought them cookies. Love. Her. [ Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld's brakes failed on Saturday night and his his vintage car flipped over as he was driving in the Hamptons. Jerry walked away unscathed. [People]
• Speaking of the Hamptons, longtime resident Billy Joel's wife, Katie Lee Joel, has a cookbook with a recipe for "Man Loaf" that "instantly makes any guy fall in love." As the kids say, vom. [Page Six]
• "Everybody thinks I'm in the loony bin, but I'm actually in rehab." —Steve-O. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt has dropped his publicist, Cindy Guagenti, who has repped him since Thelma & Louise. Could it be the influence of Angelina, who has never used a publicist? [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt (with local Springfield, MO businessmen and his brother Doug) has established a new fund to help Springfield public school students who are in poverty: The fund will address hunger, hygiene, and health needs. [KSMU]
• Will Lindsay Lohan's new album get released on time later this year? She's reportedly not being cooperative and canceled important meetings with producer Timbaland. Girl, check yourself before you wreck yourself. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Couric plagiarized a poem when she was in grammar school and has kept it a secret for 45 years. What other skeletons does she have in her closet? [Gatecrasher]
• Yeah, yeah, Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler is getting his own VH1 reality show, we know. And we're not looking forward to it. [Gatecrasher]
• Is Brody Jenner involved in that show? Or getting his own? [People]
• Blind item! "Which TV starlet could be the next to have embarrassing naked pix revealed? The racy snaps are a souvenir from her on-again, off-again hookups with a co-star." [Gatecrasher]
• Teri Hatcher will sing on American Idol Gives Back. Consider yourself warned. [Rush & Molloy]
• Kirsten Dunst is redoing the $3 million penthouse in Tribeca, NYC, she bought to live in now hat she's completed six weeks of rehab. Nothing gets booze off your mind like a pricey renovation project! [Rush & Molloy]
• Did UCLA Medical Center employees spy on Farrah Fawcett's files like they did on Britney's? [TMZ]
• Heather Mills was spotted at the airport wearing a black wig as a disguise. WTF. [The Sun]
• The Lord Chief Justice has said people who represent themselves in court — like Heather Mills — just waste the court's time. [Telegraph]
• The mayor of the town in Chile where Daniel Craig is shooting the new Bond movie is leading a protest against the film. The mayor claims that when he drove his car onto the set, Daniel Craig "fled in terror." Bond would never flee! [Daily Mail]
• Kanye West's new travel site is just a "shoddily assembled web 0.5 front-end to house the Travelocity website." [AdAge]
• Elvis Costello hosting a talk show for Sundance Channel? Sounds good. [Reuters]
• Stop me if you think you've heard this one before: Morrissey has won an apology in court from the publishers of Word Magazine, which called him a racist and a hypocrite. [Reuters]
• A judge has dismissed a defamation lawsuit by a businessman chased down the street by Sacha Baron Cohen in the Borat movie. Go away! [USA Today]
• Francis Ford Coppola's new movie is getting a "sex change": Carmen Maura is replacing Javier Bardem in the role of mentor and teacher. [Yahoo News]
• The family of R&B singer Sean Levert wants the FBI too look into his death — he died Sunday night after being strapped into a restraint chair in jail. [Yahoo News]
• Steve Irwin's father has quit working at the Australia Zoo because he was becoming a "disrupting influence." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• See, there's this pesky tax investigation going on involving the Irwins and the Zoo. [News.com.au]
• The Irwins and the Zoo got scammed. [News.com.au]
• "I think legal prostitution is the way to go, given the awful, horrendous traffic in women and the danger of girls being out on the street, so vulnerable to pimps and johns. In a legal brothel, they're licensed, they're protected, and the johns are protected because they know the girls have to be medically checked every week" - Helen Mirren. [Page Six]

[London, March 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

JG: So today's NYT Styles section has this article on "innovative' menswear. Like, would you wear a skinny suit with a cropped ankle?
Don: "Innovative" is pretty much the word that gives your assertion credence.
JG: Indeed. So was my suspicion.
Don: This is great stuff.
JG: Like, would you rock that?
Don: Hahahahahha.
JG: It's not even esoteric. You know how you can rationalize absurd women's fashion with some overly-academic art historical-sociological explanation? You can't with this. This is a skinny checked suit. And no dude goes out looking to get laid — by a girl — wearing that.
Don: Okay, well, I like to not be harassed by people. That suit would definitely get a lot of "faggots" from strangers wearing that.
JG: Really, the sweater vest underneath the suit takes it to a whole other level. Like, you still might be safe without that.
Don: No, no you wouldn't. I don't know where you hang-out, but my favorite bar downtown has a lot of Cubs t-shirts. I feel weird walking in with a polo.
JG: Okay so even a gay man wouldn't wear that suit with a sweater vest?
Don: This one is probably worse...
JG: That's my thing with menswear! What purpose is it serving? No guy with an X-Box (or better, a Wii) will ever wear that. And it's never going to trickle down in some watered-down, derivative version, even.
Don: No, not at all.
JG: Guys who like beer, boobs, and video games are not going to adapt to that.
Don: I dream of a day when business attire is a jumpsuit. That way, I know exactly what I have to wear and only focus on the cleanliness of my underwear. Function is key. I would wear this. If I was going to a Halloween party. As Jarvis Cocker. But this could be a return to Rat Pack, no?
JG: Do you want to return to the Rat Pack?
Don: No. But I can see how it can appeal to certain men.
JG: What did you wear to work today?
Don: Taking the day off - KnivesOut t-shirt, jeans, and ghetto slippers.
JG: I think that is what every straight dude I know is prob wearing. Okay, my last menswear question is this — did you read the article I sent you? All that talk of pink silk pajamas? What would it take to get you into pink silk pajamas?
Don: Ohhhh no. I didn't read it, went straight for the pictures, like porn. I mean, looking at clothes and scoffing is far less painful than reading about clothes you really don't care about. But... I did want to make one point. The jeans/t-shirt/fuck it attitude does carry over to women as well.
JG: In what way?
Don: I was talking to some folks the other night about all that Victoria's Secret shit...
JG: Victoria's Secret is gross.
Don: But every now and then it's nice, kinda like role-playing with clothing. Okay , so I was talking to these 2 guys and 2 girls, like I was saying...
JG: Okay and what did they conclude?
Don: Well, it was more...heyyyy, favorite shit to see a girl in. And really, both dudes agreed it was when they use our button-downs in the morning. Of course, I'm partial to union-jack suits or underwear and an NHL jersey (and I don't even like hockey).
JG: But you don't like that because it's some profound sartorial statement — it's because it's nice to see a girl wearing your clothes the next morning.
Don: Ummmmm, maybe. It's also... holy shit, girls really are smaller than dudes.
My shirt can be a dress on my most women. (Unlike menswear!) But yeah, suits... I'm going to the Men's Wearhouse. And I'm not spending more than $500... maybe $600 if the shit's banging. I've had my one 5 hunny suit for a good 8 years. I have a thrift suit (30 bucks), but that shit needs some serious help. And I bought a suit for $150 because I was young and thought "Dude, Elvis Costello would totally wear this" — It's not that cool now. Yeah, suits are things you have to buy (funerals, weddings). I really think about a new bicycle, HDTV and the lust for tools (but since I don't own, it would be stupid, but damnnnnn I WANT IT). So right, that checkered suit, fuck that. Also, if we're going to boil it down... who's going to fuck you in that suit? You don't want to fuck that person!

Looking Like a Billion Bucks [NYT]