King. Joffrey. Vogues.
King Joffrey has come back from the dead, and he is voguing all for you.
Charlize Theron Did NOT Ghost Sean Penn, Claims She Doesn't 'Even Know What That Is'
Last June, it was reported that Charlize Theron, alleged human, broke up with Sean Penn, garbage human, by “ghosting” him. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, to ghost someone is to break up with them by simply disappearing. No sit-downs, no phone calls, no Post-its—just...nothing. And the thought of Theron…
Pamela Anderson's Abusive Ex Calls Her a 'Serial Baby Killer'
Well done, Pamela Anderson, on attempting to get as far away from Rick Salomon, her allegedly abusive ex, as possible. Responding to Anderson's recent restraining order against him, Salomon—a real winner of a husband—has stated in legal documents that his estranged wife is a both "serial baby killer" and a "fraud."
Elton John and David Furnish Invited All of Instagram to Their Wedding
Today, Elton John and David Furnish finally got married, on the ninth anniversary of their civil partnership! They both took to Instagram (btw Elton John now has an Instagram) to invite folks and share special moments throughout the day.
Susan Sarandon Must Be Sucking the Lifeblood of Virgins
In today's Tweet Beat, Elton John meets a fan, we too cannot believe that our nation has kept Keeping Up With the Kardashians on television for ten seasons and how the hell else does 68 year-old Susan Sarandon look like she's my age?
Elton John Believes Jesus is For Same-Sex Marriage
The ever colorful Sir Elton John thinks Pope Francis is "wonderful," Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby is "doing a good job," Vladimir Putin just needs to meet some gay people to soften up, and oh yeah, Jesus? Totally cool with same-sex marriage.
Vegas Britney Spears Might Be the Healthiest Britney Spears
Does Britney Spears' Vegas residency make her a “feminist role model for single working mothers everywhere"?
Your Friday Earworm: Miguel and Wale Cover 'Bennie and the Jets'
HOLY GOD MIGUEL IS PERFECT.
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Officially Break Off Engagement
Hold on to your butts! Because they're about to get blown off with the sheer magnitude of this celebrity surprise. Twenty-year-old naked construction worker Miley Cyrus and guy-she-literally-hasn't-mentioned-in-months-who-seems-to-spend-most-of-his-time-on-a-different-continent Liam Hemsworth are officially not…
Lindsay Lohan Is Getting $2 Million To Let Oprah Life Coach Her Ass
The inside of Lindsay Lohan's brain is composed of vodka, PediaLite and one failed Tyra Banks music video, but this hasn't deterred Team Oprah from offering her $2 million actual American dollars to feature an 8-part docuseries on OWN about LiLo's life and struggles. (For context, she got $1 million from her Playboy …
Your Boyfriend Tom Hardy Considers Playing Sir Elton in a Movie
Looks like your boyfriend Tom Hardy is considering getting in on the biopic game. HitFix is reporting that Michael Gracey, the director behind the upcoming Elton John movie Rocketman, has reached out to Hardy to see if he has any interest in the titular role. But of course you knew that already — you and your…
The Great Elton John-Madonna Feud Is Over at Long Last
The long-standing feud between Elton John and Madonna is over now, according to Elton John. Go ahead, frightened citizens — emerge from your bunkers to greet this new day of peace between the celebrity Olympians.
Even Kate Middleton Is Keeping Up With the Kardashians Now
Kate Middleton is a fan of Keeping Up With The Kardshians now, because Kate Middleton is just like you, if you are an actual princess/duchess with the hair of a Disney princess who poops bars of L'Occitane soap fully wrapped in their artisinal paper.
Amanda Bynes Informs Twitter That She Has An Eating Disorder
Sigh. Amanda Bynes' repeated insistence on only using her (technically crappy; see above) Twitter selfies comes from a dark place, it looks like. I know: You're totally shocked.
Will Charlize Theron Help Jennifer Aniston Score a Black Kid?
Jennifer Aniston, the quintessential grown-up Judy Blume heroine, has a lot of Very Important Decisions to make in the next few months as her wedding to Justin Theroux draws nigh. Apparently she's been quizzing Charlize Theron—mom of one-year-old Jackson Theron—about the process of adoption since mutual friend Chelsea…
Kate Middleton Having a Girl, Everyone Screams!
Although Kate Middleton and Prince William have only told their parents the sex of their baby, a slip of the tongue made it clear that Kate might be playing uteran hostess—I picture it as an upscale B&B, complete with L'Occitane bath products and tiny decorative soaps and a Jonathan Adler guestbook—to a tiny future…
Kim Kardashian's New More Private Life Includes Nude Mag Covers
A few days ago, Kim Kardashian said that what she got most from her relationship with Kanye West was an appreciation of privacy. The new cover of French fashion mag L'Officiel Hommes features Kimye's idea of what "privacy" is, whose definition clearly got switched to "maybe fucking on a magazine cover" in the Oxford…
Jennifer Lawrence Flips Off the Press Room and More Gossip from the Oscars
While you were staggering home in a prosecco haze, celebrities were still out partying, and here's some post-Oscar nuggets for you to munch on. Okay, so yeah, Jennifer Lawrence fell down on her way to collect her Best Actress Oscar. We can perhaps attribute this to her previous confession that she was planning to get …
Country Singer Mindy McCready Kills Herself One Month After Boyfriend's Suicide
Long-suffering country music singer Mindy McCready was found dead via a gunshot wound to the head yesterday afternoon on her porch—the same location that David Wilson, McCready's self-declared "soulmate," took his own life almost exactly a month ago—in Cleburn County, Arkansas. She was 37. McCready's problems arguably…
Frank Ocean and Chris Brown Engage in Idiotic Brawl Over Parking Space
I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. Instead, Chris Brown, Frank Ocean and six posse members threw down in the parking lot of a recording studio in West Hollywood last night.
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