Two of these photos show a 19-year-old Claudia Schiffer posing for Ellen von Unwerth for her first Guess campaign. The other shows a 41-year-old Claudia Schiffer posing for Ellen von Unwerth for her latest Guess campaign. Do you think she bathes in asses' milk, or just the blood of imported, fair-trade virgins? [WWD]

• No one can accuse Terry Richardson of false advertising! And presumably in their new campaign, Equinox got exactly what they paid for from the pervy lensman. Because the shots are gratuitous and have nothing to do with fitness!

• After Tom Brady's game on Monday night, maybe-cheating Gisele Bündchen called shotgun for the ride home while he was relegated to the back seat. (They have a driver.) Clearly we can infer that she is a castrating Brazilian super-harpy. [People]

• WWD writes that Angelina Jolie needs to up her style game because Salt had boring clothes. Jolie is failing in her duty to all womankind because, "fashion needs aspirational icons; it always has. Michelle Obama can't do it alone." [WWD]

This is a tough one to prove, thanks to all of the different angles and swimsuits, but some people think Lindsay has a magically moving navel in German GQ. Maybe it's just camera-shy? (Earlier)

Dig the hazy, retro, pseudo-stoned vibe in the Ellen von Unwerth photoshoot for German GQ's August 2010 issue (cover here.) But enough with the finger in the mouth! And BTW, Brigitte Bardot did it better.

• "I don't give a fuck about red carpets, and I never do them," lies Gaga. "I don't like them. First of all — how could any of these outfits possibly look good with an ugly red carpet under them?" [ToL]

• Tyra Banks has signed a deal to write three YA novels that will marry modeling with Harry Potter — the protagonist having been accepted into an academy for "intoxibellas," or supermodels-in-training who "harbor unknown powers." What, no vampires? [Galleycat]

As you'll recall, the Shrek characters appear in an edgy VMan fashion spread photographed by Ellen von Unwerth. Apparently reps from Paramount and DreamWorks Animation regret the deal. Is it the half-naked models? Or the man-on-man action?

Dazed Digital's Octavia Morris calls photographer Ellen von Unwerth's images "intimate" and "playful." And they are. But they're also incredibly sexy. Erotic. And yet: Not sleazy. Is it because she's a woman? (Some images NSFW)

• Victoria Beckham might be adding shoes and accessories to her dress collection, because she's apparently sick of advertising other designers' goods. [Sun]
• Fergie says she wanted her Avon scent to smell "fresh, and yet modern at the same time." [People]

• The good news: Runway is safe. The bad news: yup, it's on Lifetime. [AdAge]
• Britney Spears cuts a revealing figure in her new Candie's ad. Candie's: the last refuge of a scoundrel. [NYDN]

• The Gossip played an hour-long set at the Paris Fendi party. Beth Ditto stripped off the five-piece stage costume Lagerfeld made her until she was performing in a sequined bra and thong. [Telegraph]

[Paris, March 12. Image via Getty]

(West Hollywood, California; April 16, 2007)