[Los Angeles, October 19. Image via INFDaily.]

• The new single from a singer named Lola is actually a track by Jennifer Lopez.

The song, titled "Fresh out the Oven," features Pitbull and is something La Lopez did "for the streets." [NY Daily News]

• Mary-Kate Olsen could have played a socialite teen vampire on TV, except the CW failed to pick up the show Blue Bloods, based on the book by Melissa de la Cruz. [Gatecrasher]
• Ellen Page will produce and write an HBO comedy called Stitch N' Bitch with Alia Shawkat and Sean Tillman. "The show follows two painfully cool hipster girls as they relocate from Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood to Los Angeles' Silver Lake enclave in hopes of becoming artists — of any kind." [Reuters]
• The Russell Brand/Katy Perry romance is heating up: He texted her a love poem; she replied with a topless photo of herself. [Page Six]
• An Australian variety show has apologized for a skit involving singers parodying the Jackson Five and performing in blackface. Harry Connick Jr., who was a judge on the show, called the skit "disgusting." [AP]
• Carla Bruni claims she is in a never-ending "beauty contest" with the spouses of other world leaders; and considers Michelle Obama and Princess Letizia of Spain her rivals. [NY Daily News]
• All Hail Barbra Streisand, who beat Mariah Carey on the Billboard chart. [Ny Daily News]
• An "insider" tells the National Enquirer that Mackenzie Phillips worked as a "jet-setting call girl" in her late 20s — when she was pregnant with her son Shane. [Daily Express]
• Madonna's buying Jesus Luz a £1.7 million apartment; she's not ready to move him into the house with her four kids, but she's looking for something in walking distance of her Upper East Side townhouse. [Telegraph]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark Mayor Cory Booker have been feuding over the last two weeks, but Booker is ready to "bury the hatchet." In a written statement, O'Brien said he may not be ready to abandon Newark as a joke topic: "I want to again reiterate, I have only the highest respect for Mayor Cory Booker and the city of Newark, New Jersey — one of America's oldest, greatest, and most enduring punchlines." [CNN]
• R. Kelly has revealed that he suffers from illiteracy. "When I was trying to make it out here, I already knew, and I was stubborn about it," he says. "I don't even read really and I'm not afraid to say that. My cousins and brothers used to tease me 'you can't even read right. How you think you're going to come up?' The only reason I graduated from grammar school is because I had a great jump shot. I went to high school and [my teacher] told me 'you will one of the greatest writers of all time.' I believed. You [have to] believe it. You can't believe [anything] if you're hating. You can't achieve [anything] if you're hating." [AOL Music]
• Gloria Allred is accusing David Letterman of "sexual favoritism." [MSNBC]
• Remember when Joe Francis attacked Jayde Nicole in a club? Apparently the incident was caught on a security cam video. You definitely see him drag her off of a barstool by the hair. [Radar Online]
• Michael Vick is getting his own show on BET. It's a "docu-series" spotlighting his comeback in football and also his difficult childhood and dog-fighting ring bust. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kate Gosselin made fun of her mommy image in a skit on Jay Leno's show last night, telling photographers, "Leave me alone. Hey, what did Mommy say? I asked you to stop taking pictures and you continued… Go to your room," [ET]
• "Jon Gosselin: Kate is 'trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday.'" Eyeroll. [NY Daily News]
• Sponsors don't seem to give a shit that David Letterman hooked up with employees — there was a Disney commercial during his Tuesday show. [NY Times]
• Beastie Boy Adam Yauch had a cancerous tumor removed from his left parotid gland and says, "I'm taking Tibetan medicine and at the recommendation of the Tibetan doctors I've been eating a vegan/organic diet. I'm feeling healthy, strong and hopeful that I've beaten this thing, but of course time will tell." [TMZ]
• Julia Stiles and Bill Pullman are in the Broadway production of David Mamet's Oleanna. Stiles says: "I feel like Carol is one of the more well developed female parts he's written. There's something so interesting to me about how relentless and confrontational Carol is. For better or worse she's a force to be reckoned with. David Mamet is really good at writing characters that are flawed. There's something so fascinating about them in their bluntness." [NY Times]
• LisaRaye's new reality show will tell unflattering stories about Star Jones, Vivica A. Fox, and more. [Gatecrasher]
• "Prosecutors have declined to press charges against the sheriff's deputy who arrested Mel Gibson three years ago, citing a lack of proof he leaked details about the case." [AP]
• Alicia Keys is starting a new company, featuring a range of products; first up is The Barber's Daughters, handcrafted jewelry engraved with messages of hope. [Mirror]
• Stephanie Seymour's going through a divorce, and husband Peter Brant says she spent $50,000 a month on new clothes alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Matt Lucas's ex, Kevin McGee, who hanged himself Monday, had recently confessed his suicidal thoughts to a stranger at a gay bar. [The Sun]
• In the entertaining piece at the link, Phyllida Law — Emma Thompson's mother — talks about her daughter's struggle to have children, her adopted son from Rwanda, and her hoarding habit. [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman getting married at her sister Nicole Kidman's estate in Sutton Forest, New South Wales, Australia? [News.com.au]
• Michael Sheen (The Queen, Frost Nixon, Underworld) plays legendary self-destructive soccer manager Brian Clough in a film called The Damned United, which is being called Sheen's "best performance of his big-screen career." [USA Today]
• Oh, yeah, and Michael Sheen also plays an Italian vampire in New Moon. But you already knew that. Twihard. [USA Today]
• Whatshername, the cagefighter, crossdressing, etc. [The Sun]
• "I love Susie Greene - she is so freeing. I analyze things from every which way. She just reacts without any kind of censor. Everything is an indignity, and she is absolutely sure of herself in every single response. All those doubts held me back for years: I wasn't good enough, I wasn't pretty enough, is this the right dress to wear? Susie Greene thinks she is drop-dead gorgeous and everything she chooses to put on is drop-dead gorgeous. Imagine being like that." — Susie Essman on her Curb Your Enthusiasm character. [NY Times]
• Q: What's your take on the Letterman sex scandal? Many people feel it's hypocrisy for him to throw darts at other's sexual misconduct when he's apparently been no better.
  A: "Here's the difference. A — it's his job to do that. And B — it just shows people don't really know what the story's about, which is the extortion. It has nothing to do with sex. And we're idiots when it comes to sexuality. We still think if you're single, you're a slut, you're awful! You should get married. People have sex! That's it. It's not the end of the world. It's really no big deal." — comedian Lewis Black. [Reuters]
• "Heath was just so full of ideas and fresh dialogue and so unbelievably fast and inventive. He was still, in some sense, speeding from playing The Joker, which had liberated him in a way that he had never experienced before. He was always telling me 'I am doing things in scenes that I didn't know was inside me. I cannot believe it.'" director Terry Gilliam, who cast Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus. [Mirror]
• Check out Heath in a trailer at the link. [NY Daily News]
• "We gave our blessing. We decided that it was so touching and that it should go on the air. It was a wonderful testament to the work Adam did. I only wish he were here to help so many more." — DJ AM's mother, Andrea Gross, who decided that his show should go on the air on MTV. [TMZ]
• "I don't know how to swim. So, I never spent any time on a beach. That's the good news. The bad news is that if you are drowning, I cannot rescue you." — Bernadette Peters, at a skin cancer event. [Page Six]
• "I would do 20 Vicodin in a night. I was on my way out. I might have been 24 hours away from dying." — Robbie Williams. [The Sun]
• "She's a manifester, if there ever was one. First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any 23-year-old, she'll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad. And, of course, here you go: I still love her. But she's retarded, too." — Guy Ritchie, to Esquire. [MSNBC Scoop]

Whip It's Rotten Tomatoes score is a whopping 82%. The people who have seen it love it. Yet The Invention Of Lying, with a 57% Rotten Tomato score and bad reviews, made more money. Even craptastic-looking Bruce Willis flick Surrogates made more money than Whip It this weekend, and its Rotten Tomato score is an abysmal 39%%.

So what the hell happened?

NPR's Linda Holmes writes that she was "utterly enchanted" by Whip It, and has a theory about why it didn't do well:

Not only is it touching and funny and a rollicking good time, but it's a movie that rarely finds its way to the multiplex — it's a sports movie about a team of women, it's got a cast chosen mostly for suitability and not perceived hotness, and it's warmly funny but almost wisecrack-free.

Of course, all these things are box-office poison. Without wisecracks, what do you put in the trailer? Without perceived hotness, who do you put out front to promote it?

Of course, Zombieland didn't have a hottie, but it did have wisecracks ("Nut up or shut up"), lots of humor, and, of course, zombies.

Silverstein notes that 52% of the Whip It audience was 25 and older, meaning young people did not come out for the flick, opting to see Zombieland instead. She writes:

What this says to me is that [the marketers] didn't figure out how to get the young girls who live the "girl power" lives. Maybe they couldn't get their guy friends/boy friends to go, so they just acquiesced and went to see Zombieland. Maybe the girl power message is a turn off to guys? Maybe some of it is about how women's sports is treated in the culture?

I saw — and enjoyed — both of these movies, but where I would recommend Whip It to anyone — mom, sister, friends, landlady — I couldn't do the same for Zombieland. And it sucks to think that young women might have picked the zombie flick over Whip It (with its female-driven story, female director, and female star) because of guys.

Luckily, NPR's Holmes believes this is not the end for Whip It:

I have to think, and I admit it may be wishful thinking, that the story of this movie making money is far from over. At the end of the showing I went to on Friday night, the audience — mostly made up of groups of women and girls — cheered. One friend who saw it immediately vowed to buy it on DVD and put it in his five-year-old daughter's room to be opened when she turns 13…

Not that many people made it out to see it on opening weekend, but the people who love this movie are going to love it. It's not a movie like The Proposal, where you watch it and it's fun and then you forget all about it. I like to think it's going to live on cable and on DVD and at slumber parties, and even before it leaves theaters, it may make a few more bucks on word of mouth.

Fingers crossed! And even though this ladycentric flick wasn't a box-office smash, Silverstein reminds us that that Julie & Julia "has quietly amassed almost $100 million at the box office." Women can make it happen.

What Happened To Whip It? [Women & Hollywood]
Box Office Report: 'Zombieland' Rises To The Top With $25 Million [EW]
Weekend Box Office: 'Whip It' Has A Tough Weekend, But Don't Count It Out [NPR]

Whip It, which opens today, was adapted by Shauna Cross from her novel Derby Girl. Ellen Page plays Bliss Cavendar, who lives in a small town in Texas and is being coached by her mother (Marcia Gay Harden) to compete in beauty pageants. One day, she sees an ad for the Roller Derby in Austin and sneaks off to see a game with her best friend Pash (Arrested Development's Alia Shawkat). She falls in love with the sport and secretly joins a team called the Hurl Scouts, which includes Kristen Wiig, Drew Barrymore, and Eve (who, for the most part, do their own skating).

Along the way Bliss clashes with her mom, her best friend, her indie rocker boyfriend Oliver (Landon Piig), and her roller derby rival Iron Maven (Juliette Lewis). A few critics complain that the plot is filled with sports-movie cliches and doesn't focus enough on real athletic ability, but all say that at the very least, the movie is extremely fun to watch. Below, a look at what the critics have to say.

Chicago Sun-Times

"Whip It" is an unreasonably entertaining movie, causing you perhaps to revise your notions about women's Roller Derby, assuming you have any. The movie is a coming-together of two free spirits, Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page, and while it may not reflect the kind of female empowerment Gloria Steinem had in mind, it has guts, charm, and a black-and-blue sweetness. Yes, it faithfully follows the age-old structure of the sports movie, but what a sport, and how much the Derby girls love it. Yes, the movie has cliches. Yes, it all leads up to a big game. Yes, there is a character's validating appearance near the end. Yes, and so what? The movie is miles more intelligent than most of the cream-of-wheat marketed to teenage girls. Funnier, more exciting, even liberating. In her debut as a director, Barrymore shows she must have been paying attention ever since Spielberg cast her when she was 5. She and her team do an especially effective job in staging the derby showdowns.

New York Daily News

The high-spirited story of an underdog who makes good, Drew Barrymore's "Whip It" looks a lot like your average sports flick. At heart, however, it's that happiest of surprises: a multiplex movie that genuinely respects its young audience.... Yes, the story is completely conventional. And it's true that the performances run the gamut, from awkward (Zoe Bell) to awesome (Kristen Wiig). But everyone - including Barrymore, playing an extra-violent Hurl Scout - seems to be having a blast, with a fierce Juliette Lewis, as Bliss' rival, leading the pack... Too many films geared toward young women casually undercut them in ways that are alternately lazy and cruel. You won't find any of that here - just a giddy blast of girl power that races confidently around the track while hip-checking Hollywood's worst tendencies.

The Los Angeles Times

Essentially, the film is a chicks-on-skates/coming-of-age/sports-drama/comedy/feminist polemic set in the racy world of roller derby. If it sounds as if it would be easy to lose your footing in all of that, it is. And on occasion Barrymore does, and not just because the floors are slick. But for the most part, the 34-year-old Barrymore, with much of her life spent in front of the camera and more than a few impressive producing credits already in the bank, proves steady on her feet, able to handle curves and straightaways with equal grace... Make no mistake, this is no deep treatise on female athletes — rent "Million Dollar Baby" or "Personal Best" for that. Instead, Barrymore has chosen to go broad — packing "Whip It" with tough, sarcastic chicks willing to totally commit to Maggie Mayhem's "be your own hero" mantra. They are, to put it bluntly, hell on wheels . . . exactly what happens when the skate fits.

The Hollywood Reporter

This familiar yet simultaneously different heartwarming tale of misunderstandings, smothering love and ultimate triumph is loaded with cliches, as might be expected. But somehow writer Shauna Cross (adapting from her novel) manages to continually inflect the story with fresh twists, most of which come from showing girls do what only boys have been allowed to do onscreen in the past. So, for example, when Bliss and her rock-band boyfriend reconcile after a series of misunderstandings, it's exactly what we expect, but newly empowered Bliss, no fool for love, makes sure the relationship is re-established on her terms, not his. And in this movie, the gross-out humor (vomiting, food fights and the like) is the newly won province of the girls, not the boys. The biggest surprise is the astonishing amount of violence that the girls wreak upon one another virtually nonstop in the many competitions that are brilliantly choreographed. They show off their bruises to one another like badges of honor. Of course, the film only is meant as an innocent entertainment, but somehow it seems more than that, like the start of some fundamental gender shift in the movies, especially when Bliss explicitly attacks her mother for trying to foist her "1950s idea of womanhood" on her. These are women who don't want to be corporate lawyers, they want to kick ass.

Variety

Though Barrymore isn't much interested in mapping the spatial complexities of roller-derby action, her shooting of the games — equal parts silly and violent — is plenty visceral for these purposes. What distinguishes "Whip It" from the sports-film pack is the director's keen focus on the minutiae of team camaraderie, as Bliss learns to body-check opponents and is gradually accepted by her elder Hurl Scouts — tough-as-nails chicks with self-styled Army-green getups and names like "Maggie Mayhem" (Kristen Wiig) and "Bloody Holly" (Zoe Bell, "Death Proof"). As coach of her own team, Barrymore has assembled a game crew of alt-film all-stars, including d.p. Robert Yeoman ("Rushmore"), editor Dylan Tichenor ("Magnolia") and ubiquitous music supervisor Randall Poster, whose soundtrack, ranging from the Ramones to the Breeders, matches the fast-rolling action hit for hit. Kevin Kavanaugh's production design captures working-class Texas marvelously, and Catherine Marie Thomas' costumes — particularly the skaters' outfits, from helmets to fishnets — are a hoot.

Time Out New York

Along that exuberant trajectory, Whip It rights a few wrongs. First, there's proof here that Juno's Ellen Page is no mere snark in the pan. She uses her tiny frame to project vulnerability, coming alive as she flings herself into danger, shedding the starchy name Bliss Cavendar for the unlikely track moniker "Babe Ruthless." In assembling her sassy sisterhood, Barrymore has also given the criminally underused Kristen Wiig her first proper role, as a maternal roller with no-bullshit sympathies. (You wish the script hadn't fully sanded down the butch aspects of the derby scene, but apparently that's what subtext is for.) Most substantially, the film pits parental hopes against the private ambitions of youth, and somehow manages to take both sides. Marcia Gay Harden is the picture's treasure; watching her swell with concern at her daughter's choices, you understand how hard it is to let go-even when kneepads are provided.

The Boston Globe

Barrymore's sharp instincts about how to orchestrate her very different performers. She has Harden and Wiig turn their muchness down, gives Shawkat enough to do so that the many folks who never saw her on "Ar rested Development'' will feel they've made a robust comic discovery, and proves she has good taste in Wilson brothers, casting the shaggiest one, Andrew, to play the Hurl Scouts' long-suffering coach. Most crucially, Barrymore encourages Page to just let herself go. The sight of her making her way up residential streets in a pair of Barbie roller skates or screaming "Marco'' in a game of Marco Polo is simply joyful. If American movies were full of stories about girls, their dreams, their mothers, their heartbreaks, their gift for smashing their elbows into people's chins, "Whip It'' would be just another happy comedy. But Hollywood is woefully short on such stories. I anticipate the day when a movie like this stops seeming like the antidote and more like the norm.

The Miami Herald

The kind of movie that makes the term "formulaic crowd-pleaser"' seem like a good thing, "Whip It" is completely predictable from the first frame. It also is ridiculously, utterly entertaining... Barrymore infuses "Whip It" with her natural, effusive personality, and although the roller-derby sequences are choreographed more for fun and laughs than sportsmanship, she also pulls off the occasional visually striking sequence (such as a lovely scene in which Page and Pigg make out underwater). "Whip It" doesn't reinvent the cinematic wheel, but it does remind you how much fun riding that wheel can be when it's given just the right kind of spin.

The Washington Post

On-screen, "Whip It" sags when it should skedaddle along, with Page's tart "Juno" persona submerged under an impassive blank slate; she's Little Miss Downbeat. In part, the fault lies with the script, which was written by Shauna Cross, adapting her book "Derby Girl." The small-town, teen-queen story line, which features Marcia Gay Harden infusing as much dignity as she can into Bliss's overbearing mother, feels cobbled together from a million Bible Belt caricatures, and when Bliss falls in love with a shaggy-haired rocker (Landon Pigg), "Whip It" takes yet another digressive swerve. At one point the young couple can be seen wandering around in a field looking for car keys, and it's as if Barrymore herself is out there, searching for the plot she just lost.

The A. V. Club

Barrymore's middling directorial debut, Whip It, is exactly the movie people have come to expect from her: a light, ingratiating, femme-centered ensemble piece with a positive message on empowerment and independence, with a romantic-comedy element thrown in, because she certainly knows her way around those. It's virtually impossible to hate the film, but Barrymore's presence behind the camera suggests more calculation than vision; like a lot of actors who direct, she tends to the performances, but her style never rises above bland proficiency.

Entertainment Weekly

[Bliss is] heck on wheels, or so we are asked to believe: The rink footage is pretty un-whippy. Even Juliette Lewis, playing the film's designated bad girl and Bliss/Babe's nemesis on the rink, is more of a cute bee-yotch than a real threat. The movie is Drew Barrymore's directorial debut (she also plays fellow Hurl Scout Smashley Simpson), and it's clear she's more attuned to grrrlishness than real athletic power: Smashley is the first to scream ''Food fight!'' and the 34-year-old actress leads the charge in kidlike mayhem.

Reel Views

"Whip It," the directorial debut of actress Drew Barrymore, is a sports film that uneasily straddles the divide that exists between comedy and drama. Built upon a mountain of clichés, the screenplay wallows in artificiality and, although some of the sports action sequences are well choreographed and have a ring of authenticity, nearly every scene away from the arena reeks of contrivance. The lead character isn't remotely believable and the screenplay feels like it went into production while still in the draft stage. The things Whip It does well are overshadowed by its numerous missteps.

USA Today

Under Barrymore's direction, the skating action sequences are lackluster, and the story unfolds at a leaden pace. A sports-themed/female-empowerment story may have been too ambitious for a first-time filmmaker. Though there are subtly humorous moments, the derby's sense of urgency is oddly muted. Sports films centering on girls and women are worth cheering on. But Whip It lacks the charm and energy of a Bend It Like Beckham. Strangely, Barrymore's tribute to girl power lacks exuberance.

The New York Times

Ms. Page, rotating the "Juno" cool-nerd archetype a few degrees in the nice girl direction of Molly Ringwald in "Sixteen Candles," is smart, sharp and convincing. Bliss's pluck is appealing, but the selfishness and insensitivity that are part of any adolescent's self-defensive armory are also very much in evidence. And Bliss's mother, Brooke, may start out as a caricature of prim, pathological femininity, but over the course of the movie she grows in interesting directions. The debutante fantasies that hover over her pageant fixation are not pretensions, but rather the aspirations of a tough, hard-working woman (Brooke is a mail carrier) who is ultimately more clued-in and more sympathetic than Bliss gives her credit for being.

Salon

Barrymore's actors are, at least, having a good time, and their enthusiasm shows. Wiig is a terrific comic actress, with highly idiosyncratic timing, but in this picture, as in the recent "Extract," she proves that she can do more than play amusing oddballs: She shows glimmers of vulnerability beneath her twitchy, plainspoken demeanor. And Page is a lovely, surprisingly understated presence here. She doesn't just recycle the precocious-wiseacre character she perfected in "Juno." She and Harden, in particular, have a fine-grained rapport — together, they keep the mother-daughter plot thread from becoming mundane. Barrymore doesn't do so well in terms of overseeing the movie's action sequences. They're a bit muddled, visually: Even though one of the characters takes care to explain the rules of the sport, it's sometimes hard to tell who's coming from where, or who's winning and why. And yet some of the movie's early skating sequences — particularly the one in which Bliss suddenly realizes that she's found something she's pretty good at — capture what it's like to feel you're flying on wheels. "Whip It" may be unfocused and sprawling, but it's infectiously cheerful, too.

Earlier: 7 Things I Loved About Whip It

1. The Teen Angst.
Yes, the trailer seemed awfully familiar, but there's a reason coming-of-age stories work: The adventure of self-discovery is a powerful one. From Hamlet to Heathers, the young adult years are transformative. Bliss (played by Ellen Page) is a completely different person in the beginning of the film than she is in the end, and that kind of intense character arc is deliciously watchable. The journey is the destination, as they say.

2. The Oh-So-Real Relationships
Bliss and BFF Pash (played by Alia Shawkat) have the kind of intense teenage friendship I recall so well: Full of humor, admiration and teasing. There's one scene between them that takes the I'll-hold-your-hair-while-you-puke cliché to a whole new level.

Then there's Bliss' relationship with her mother, which also rang true and had emotional depth while showcasing how women of different generations can hold different ideals (derby vs. pageants) — while still having the same traits (stubborness; inner strength).

3. The Acting
Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat and the formidable Marcia Gay Harden deliver pitch-perfect performances. Period.

4. It's Not About Brides, Boys Or Babies.
So many films marketed toward women these days rely on the chicks having a crisis over one of the three Bs; this movie follows the Bechdel Rule. Twenty-three years ago, cartoonist Alison Bechdel promoted an idea: That she'd only watch movies which met a certain criteria. As she told NPR last year: "One, it had to have at least two women in it. Two, they had to speak to each other about, three, something besides a man." At the time, the joke was: There'd be nothing to watch. But from Tina Fey's Baby Mama to chick flicks like Bride Wars and He's Just Not That Into You, finding films which follow the rule continues to be a challenge. In Whip It, Bliss interacts with her best friend, her mom, her new teammates and her (female) nemeses — and the guy she has a crush on is merely a sub-plot. I love a quality rom-com, but women do have other stories besides "meeting cute" and falling in love.

5. Roller Derby. Obvs. And The Ladies Of Roller Derby
I adored watching kick-ass, tattooed women with confidence and decidedly not frail, non-Hollywood bodies. But as Kristen Wiig tells the LA Times: "I think it was important for Drew to kind of let everyone know that so many different types of women do derby… Not just the big tough girls with the tattoos and stuff — there's a lot of that — but we met women there who are teachers and nurses and mothers and wives."

6. A Damn Good Story
Thank you, Shauna Cross.

7. Walking Out Of The Theater With A Huge Smile On My Face
Can't beat it.
I'm going to see it again, and take my mom.

'SNL' Actress Trained To Skate For Roller Derby Movie 'Whip It.' [LA Times]
Earlier: Analyzing Whip It's Comfortingly Familiar Teen Angst
Must Female Movie & TV Characters Always Have Men On The Mind?
Related: The 'Bechdel Rule,' Defining Pop-Culture Character [NPR]

[Hollywood, September 29. Image via WENN.]

• More on this is Midweek Madness, but Star is reporting that Justin Timberlake and Rihanna are "on." Here's the deal:

They've been talking and texting "nonstop" since the VMAs; but Rihanna doesn't want to be "his lady on the side." A source says: "She asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?' And he hinted that things were cooling off between them." [Star]

• If you were at the Bourgeois Pig on East Seventh Street the other night, you would have seen Madonna eating with Jessica Seinfeld and Jesus Luz… Then Anderson Cooper "rolled up on his bicycle and joined them." [Page Six]
• Rose McGowan has broken off her engagement to Robert Rodriguez. Does this mean no Red Sonja? But what about the awesome poster?!?! [Radar Online]
• Uh-oh! Bomb scare on the set of The Green Hornet, starring Seth Rogen! [TMZ]
• Hospitalized twice in two days? Get well soon, Tori Spelling. [Page Six, People]
• Chris Brown says he's trying to make as much music as possible — while doing community service at the same time. Multitasky. [TMZ]
• "How to fix Jon and Kate? Lose the Eight… Kate Gosselin is and has always been the show's central character. How she mothers, how she bosses her husband around, how she cuts her hair and tucks her tummy - that's what the show is really about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Lamar Odom says his wedding to Khloe Kardashian was not fake: "It's crazy how perception works in America when you're looking at things from the outside… Anybody that was there will tell you that it was a beautiful event and it was real." [People]
• Some hairstylist claimed he did Khloe Kardashian's hair for her wedding — at a cost of $4500 — but KK didn't actually use him and actually never heard of him. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's estate is suing the "Heal The World Foundation," which claims it is linked to MJ, but had no connection to the pop star and, in fact, "became dormant before he died." [CBS News]
• Rihanna is being sued by a neighbor who claims she had been allowing cars to drive on his lawn to get to her driveway; she denies causing any damage. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe: Taking driving lessons. [Telegraph]
• Jessica Alba is in talks to join the cast of Little Fockers, along side Ben Stiller and Bobby De Niro. According to this story, she'll play an "attractive" pharmaceutical rep "whose looks wreak havoc on male characters." In other words: They don't need her to act. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Uma Thurman will star in Ceremony, a flick directed by Max Winkler — Henry's son. Uma will play an older woman who is about to get married when a young man falls for her; the young man will be played by Michael Angarano, aka Kristen Stewart's (ex?) boyfriend. [Variety]
• One of the defendants in the John Travolta case claimed to have document suggesting Travolta wanted his son dead; it was actually just a form that released medical professionals in the Bahamas from liability if Travolta decided to fly his son to a hospital in Florida. [TMZ]
• "An ambulance driver believed he had John Travolta over a barrel and wanted big bucks to keep embarrassing medical records secret, a witness testified yesterday." [NY Post]
• Randy and Evi Quaid's home in Marfa, Texas now has a cease and desist sign out front, because the Quaids has started remodeling job without permits. [Radar Online]
• Remember Edward Furlong? Terminator, American History X? His estranged wife just filed a restraining order against him, claiming he threatened to hire people to beat her with chains and bats. And! She claims he "is smoking cocaine and doing other various drugs. He is very unpredictable." [TMZ]
• This columnist gives Joy Behar's new show three and a half stars and writes: "if there's one thing wrong with Joy's great new show it's her old-lady Aunt Carmela hairdo. Please Joy, call me — I'll pay for you to go to my hairdressers." [NY Post]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has decided to display a naked photograph of 10-year-old Brooke Shields; critics want it withdrawn from the exhibition, called "Pop Life: Art In A Material World." [Daily Mail]
• A Steady Rain stars Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman reportedly attracted the highest weekly gross for a nonmusical production on Broadway. But as far as I know, neither of them take their shirts off! Weird. [NY Post]
• Bono may be a superstar, but he knows how to wait patiently for a table in a crowded restaurant. [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga sang over the phone at a fundraiser and helped earn over $10 million for charities. [Page Six]
• "Sean 'Diddy' Combs has signed with Universal Music Group's Interscope Geffen A&M label in a deal which includes his future albums and creates a new joint venture with Combs' Bad Boy label." [Reuters]
• Interesting: Melissa Gilbert is playing "Ma" in Little House On The Prairie: The Musical. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Hudson says her newborn baby boy is "the cutest thing in the world" and he "seems like he's very interested in music already." [People]
• "Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's one-legged ex-wife, will appear on the British TV show Dancing on Ice, according to the London Sun." [NY Post]
• Roger Avary, Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, has been sentenced to a year in jail for drunk driving and causing a fatal traffic crash in Southern California. [Breitbart]
• "A former teaching assistant who was employed by Wynonna Judd to home-school her two kids has been charged in Tennessee with distribution of child pornography." [E!]
• "Pink Floyd star leaves £24m to his children - but nothing to his three wives." [Daily Mail]
• "I had to think: 'What can I do with it? How can I make this fun?' I wanted him to be happy-go-lucky about the whole thing and not a conflicted, angry killer. More of the Hannibal Lecter school of killer: the killer you want at a party. I wasn't trying to banish Seth Cohen. I'm still me. He looks different and is morally corrupt. But I don't see it as a big departure." — Adam Brody, on his character in Jennifer's Body. [USA Today]
• "I went to Oregon to study permaculture and lived in an eco-village for a month outside Eugene. It's called Lost Valley. It was amazing and exactly what I needed, because there had been the Juno thing, where you're getting a lot of attention. You're learning how to live in a holistic way with the cycles of the Earth. At one point I was digging goat (manure) and putting it into a wheelbarrow, and while shoveling it, I just went, 'Oh, my God, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now.' "— Ellen Page on her life after Juno and before Whip It!. [USA Today]
• "I'm not a fancy person. I love small spaces. I like tiny cars. I don't buy things, aside from music and books." — Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "She's really sexy. I did my wardrobe fittings with her where we would just take our clothes off and look at our own bodies. We both have insecurities or flaws, but we were both like, 'How do we get over this? How do we be the sexiest we can be in this movie?' We pushed each other. We challenged each other. We developed a love affair that was based on truth rather than niceties." — Drew Barrymore on Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "It took me all my effort to watch The Wire. And I only watched it because I was directing an episode in the last season. Then I watched the whole lot in a very short time and suddenly realized what a great thing I was in." —Dominic West. More from him at the link. [Telegraph]
• "I want to apologize to everybody. I had no idea what it would turn into." — Kristin Cavallari, on introducing Spencer and Heidi to each other. [Hollywood Crush]
• "She is not a nice person… Madonna laid the law down to me before we went out. [She said] I am not going to Disneyland, OK? That's out. I said, 'I didn't ask to go to Disneyland.' She said, 'We are going to the restaurant. And afterwards, we are going to a strip bar. I said, 'I am not going to a strip bar, where they cross dress. ... I am not going to there. If that's how it is, forget this whole thing. ... Afterwards, she wrote some mean things about me in the press. And I wrote that she is a nasty witch, after I was so kind to her." — Michael Jackson, in that new book by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. [CNN]

These clips are from an interview the two actresses did with journalist David Poland at the Toronto Film Festival, and what's interesting about them (to me) is their real-life-friend dynamic, which comes complete with nonsensical riffs, like the one about leeches in the clip above. And the fact that they have catchphrases ("weh. weh. weh."):

And I just liked this story about their trip to Amsterdam ("hanging out, going to museums"), when they decided to watch the (awesome) movie Diner (while, no doubt, on "coffee") and realized the guy who plays Ellen Page's character's dad, Daniel Stern, starred in it back when he was young and cute:

As a movie junket tag-team, Alia and Ellen have the makings (and the time) to become their generation's Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. The whole 30-minute interview can be found at Movie City News, where, unless it's my imagination, Alia teases Ellen about something pertaining to Drew Barrymore ("you're so cute") in the first thirty seconds. Not sure what that's about!

Whip It Stars Ellen Page & Alia Shawkat [Movie City News]

[LAX, September 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Paris, August 18. Image via Flynet]

[Paris, August 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The story begins, like all of these stories begin, with a teenaged outcast. How do we know she is an outcast? When we get our first glimpse of her, she's at some kind of girl society pageant and her hair is blue. (See: Amber Tamblyn in Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants)


And her mom is pissed.


Hence: Lying on bed =Teen angst. (See: Welcome To the Dollhouse, Rebel Without A Cause, Beetlejuice, Pretty In Pink)


Here's another cue the protagonist is "different": She drives a car unlike any of the other cars at her school. (See: Pretty In Pink, 10 Things I Hate About You; Corey Haim and Corey Feldman's seminal work License To Drive.)


Our heroine has a shitty job (See: Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story; Patrick Dempsey in Loverboy, Judge Reinhold in Fast Times At Ridgemont High) and glasses (See: She's All That) reinforcing her "outcast" status.


Also, she has to wait on the cool kids. (See: Above)


But then! Some new, interesting characters — outside of the comfort zone of the heroine - arrive in town. In this case: Roller derby ladies. (If this were, say, Lost Boys, then you'd swap in vampires. In a movie like Take The Lead, the "outside the comfort zone" character would be dance teacher Antonio Banderas; in Save The Last Dance, it's Julia Stiles meeting Sean Patrick Thomas. In The Karate Kid, the "character" is Mr. Miyagi.)


And the outsider is intrigued.


The outcast checks out what the roller derby has to offer…


And decides that it is awesome.


(Also, in this case, the awesome is compounded by Kristen Wiig's involvement.)


So. The outcast pulls out her skates. (Puts on her dance shoes. Whatever.)


And, at first, she sucks.


But she's determined.


Cue the practice montages. (See: Save The Last Dance, Bend It Like Beckham, Blue Crush, Bring It On, Teen Wolf etc.)


The parents: Clueless. They think she's working late/studying/making nice new friends. (See: Bend It Like Beckham.)


But actually, she's kicking ass — she's discovered a new passion!


Also, she's no longer an outcast, but part of a group.


The parents find out and are livid. (In the worst-case scenario, things go very awry; see: Dead Poets Society.)


But why should our heroine care? She's got her own family now.


And…scene!

Which is not to say I won't be first in line to see Whip It — teen angst and roller derby are a couple of my favorite things.





Whip It Trailer [You Tube]
The Only True Currency Girls Have in this Bakrupt World is Ellen Page [Gawker]

• GLAAD is concerned about Sacha Baron Cohen's depiction of homosexuality in Brüno:

"We have very mixed emotions about the movie," says GLAAD's Rashad Robinson. "Those of us who saw the film agreed that you can't critique it as a single film because it's more like 90 minutes of individual sketches. Some are funny and hit their mark but others hit the [gay] community instead." GLAAD is asking for a bit where a baby is sitting in the same hot tub where two men are having sex be cut. "As someone who sat at the back of a focus group audience outside of Los Angeles, I felt they were laughing at us at times." [E!]

• Sacha Baron Cohen, dressed as Brüno, showed up outside of Buckingham Palace yesterday and announced: "I hope Prince Harry is coming to the premiere – I've heard he's a total slut!" [Telegraph]
• Brüno on prime minister Gordon Brown: "The guy needs a total makeover. He needs a fake tan, he needs to wear some tight slacks." [Telegraph]
• In the UK, you can't see Brüno unless you're over 18. [Telegraph]
• WTF: "Two police chiefs are under investigation for allegedly breaking into the Martins Ferry, Ohio, home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate in an attempt to dig up dirt they hoped to sell to the tabloids." [Gatecrasher]
• Elle magazine says it has "no reason" to believe that Lindsay Lohan is responsible for $500,000 worth of Dior jewelry missing from a photoshoot. [Gatecrasher]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have donated $1 million to the UN Refugee Agency, to help displaced people n Pakistan. This comes one week after Brad donated $1 million for a pediatric cancer center in Missouri. [People]
• Jersey Housewives' Danielle says of the showdown in the finale: "My kids deserved to see how Mommy was going to grow from this and move forward. My children needed to learn from that, and that is why they wanted to stay in the room." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Housewives' Dina says of Danielle: "I never denied that I was part of [exposing] the book. I just literally never had the book in my hands. Literally. Like, I never had possession of the book. So how can I go around showing something that was never in my hands? So Jacqueline misunderstood what I was saying. She thought I was saying I never had anything to do with it. But, no, I had everything to do with it." [People]
• Oh dear: Morgan Freeman had an affair with his step granddaughter??? [National Enquirer via Perez]
• Madonna is calling on Gwyneth Paltrow to help her decorate a room for new child, Mercy. Her Madgesty's "wish list" includes "porcelain dolls, antique teddy bears, a library of leather-bound children's books and ancient maps of Africa to adorn the walls." Plus! Lourdes is super excited about having a sister: "She's bought piles of leggings, hipster T-shirts, tutus and sneakers for the new arrival." [The Sun]
• This essay argues that Madonna's "acquisition" of Mercy just helps baby traffickers. [Daily Mail]
• "Madonna 'banned Kate Winslet's musician father from appearing on Snatch film soundtrack.'" [Daily Mail]
• Good news: Bret Michaels will not sue the Tony Awards, even though he was injured by a set piece: "I'm taking the high road." [People]
• Has Sean Penn gone back to his wife after Natalie Portman broke his heart? [Page Six]
• "Michael Jackson is looking for a child who is missing limbs or in a wheelchair to appear on stage with him at his O2 gigs." [The Sun]
• Wow: E! is asking fans if the site should be a "Speidi-Free Zone." In a poll, the site asks, "Beginning today through Sunday, we are putting it to the fans to decide whether to banish Heidi and Spencer from E! forever, or at least until they do something truly newsworthy." [E!]
• Billy Joel's daughter and ex-wife speak out about his split from wife Katie Lee: daughter Alexa says, "If my dad's happy, I'm happy and I respect any decision that he makes." Chrsitie Brinkley says: "I'm very sad that this has happened, and I wish them both happiness." [Extra]
• Billy Joel's wife Katie Lee was seen dancing "erotically" with fashion designer Yigal Azrouel six months ago, and some say he introduced her to people as his girlfriend. [NY Post]
• Apocalypto: Paris Hilton — and her reality show — have landed in Dubai. [AP]
• 50 Cent spent $33,000 on Tom Ford suits. [Page Six]
• Like Lost? Like Sawyer, aka Josh Holloway? In this clip, he talks about all kinds of stuff — his character, Jack, Juliet, etc. [EW]
• Lost alum Maggie Grace: Returning to Hawaii, but she teases: "I don't know why." [E!]
• I dare you, DARE you to watch this video of Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat (who was Maeby from Arrested Development), and Har Mar Superstar singing "Don't Stop Believing" and not cringe, wince or guffaw. [NY Mag]
• A fourth Mission: Impossible starring Tom Cruise? Just looks desperate. Although having JJ Abrams involved again is interesting. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart star in Love Happens, a movie about a self-help guru with a secret who dates a florist. Except it seems like the secret is given away in the trailer, which is posted at the link. [People]
• Reese Witherspoon with star in Pharm Girl, a comedy about one woman's experience working at a large pharmaceutical company — the longer she works there, the more she sees the "underbelly" of the industry. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rashida Jones will star in a rom com called Celeste And Jesse Forever, about a divorcing couple who attempt to maintain their friendship while pursuing new relationships. [UPI]
• Coming soon: A Bride Of Frankenstein remake, in which "the monster is a babe," someone like Scarlett Johansson or Anne Hathaway. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie's chauffeur: Caught driving without insurance. [The Sun]
• Kelis has filed her financials with the court and it all comes down to the fact that she doesn't have a lot of cash, and having a baby takes money. She'd like Nas to pay up. [TMZ]
• TR Knight is leaving Grey's Anatomy and word is, he wants to do Broadway. Or at least: Theater. [E!]
• Snippet from this Betty White interview: You stole the movie [The Proposal]. And added the sentimentality it needed. That scene in the airplane really got me. "Well aren't you dear. Thank you." There were some other topics I wanted to cover— "Can I get you any coffee or water?" [MovieLine]
• George Lucas is building an office complex that looks exactly like Hearst Castle. [mediabistro.com]
• Critical acclaim for the second season of Mad Men? Duh. [Variety]
• You can't sue the Bionic Woman over a car crash! She doesn't drive. She just runs, making a wannannana - wannanana - sound effect! [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne will appear on Jack Osbourne's show, Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie, in which stars do stuff like bungee jump, white water raft and skydive. [The Sun]
• "Ryan Cabrera Sued over Death Trap Driveway." [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price got drunk in Ibiza and said to a journalist: "I'm gonna cut your fucking face. I swear to God I'll fucking cut you." Charming! [Daily Mail]
• Is Conan O'Brien losing viewers to David Letterman? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which ditsy blond didn't seem to care when a crowd of ladies caught her sniffing Colombia's finest - right out in the open - in Atlantic City?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Miss Congeniality was a romantic comedy, I call that a buddy flick. It's a new kind of film. If you really think about it; it wasn't about romance, it was about her saving her friend at the beauty pageant. Men do films like this, The Proposal or Miss Congeniality, all the time and they're considered comedies and there's always love in it. There's always love in it. There's always a relationship. I would like to help create a broader spectrum of categories where the writing gets better. There are great writers out there." — Sandra Bullock. [Reuters]
• "He's like a new man. He really went through something [with that racist tirade incident]. He used to be very angry and bitter. He's completely different now. You can see it, and he can feel it. I'm very happy for him." — Larry David on Michael Richards. [Reuters]
• "I wish I could afford to be here all the time, but it's a very expensive city to work in. It's gotten worse for me. It's gotten better in that they give you tax breaks. But everything (else) has gone up. I work on a very limited budget." — Woody Allen. [USA Today]
• "Chaz is embarking on a difficult journey, but one that I will support. I respect the courage it takes to go through this transition in the glare of public scrutiny, and although I may not understand, I will strive to be understanding ... The one thing that will never change is my abiding love for my child." — Cher, on her daughter's decision to undergo a sex change. [TMZ]
• "Positive is not funny. Nobody laughs at positive, 'What a beautiful day it is!' or how many friends I have, how many people love me. There's nothing funny about that at all. But there's funny in the negative. When you speak in negative terms, the more negative, the funnier it is. Hence, the funny crank." — Larry David. [LA Times]
• "In America, there's such a hunger for young people, so you get the young up-and-coming star. And then it becomes a time period when they really don't know what to do with you or how to use you. And then it changes, I think, after 50 - then you become - 'I'm the mother of the 20-year-old.' So I'm hoping there's going to be a shift again and I'll work more." — Andie MacDowell, who says her 40s were an awkward time because she had trouble finding roles. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I don't like the word 'cougar' because it just makes me think of teeth and somebody who's biting. We have to come up with a new word." — Countess Luann de Lesseps. [Gatecrasher]
• "You know what, I prefer a flatter-chested look. That's just kind of me. I think it's more of a fashion look. If you look at a lot of high-fashion models and things like that, they're always you know, a little flatter. I like the way clothes fit better…" — Lauren Conrad is not into plastic surgery. [People]
• "We should all believe in something, and I believe it's time for another shot of tequila." — Justin Timberlake. [Page Six]
• "Seriously, this is one of my favorite songs ever. I love the whole album. I'm completely immersed in it. I can't wait for you to hear it." — Mariah Carey on her OWN new single. [NY Daily News]

[Los Angeles, June 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez are "quietly" shopping for a love nest in Manhattan. Is this relationship really real? And why so quick on the rebound, your Madgesty? [Page Six]
• Neither Angelina Jolie nor Brad Pitt can really cook. Angie's "signature dish" is cereal. Brad says, "I can rock a Sunday BBQ but that’s as far as my culinary talents go." [The Sun]
• Barack Obama will almost certainly be Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating Person of 2008." [Rush & Molloy]
• Beyoncé, blue? Back in 1999, after Destiny's Child changed group members, and the former members accused her father of failing to share profits, Beyoncé felt that everyone blamed her for the group's troubles. She says, "For a couple of years when I was 19 I suffered depression." [Daily Express]
• Check out Beyoncé on the cover of Giant. [Concrete Loop]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty want to do a film together? Is this a joke? [The Sun]

• Amy Winehouse sent X Factor judge Louis Walsh a green tie and shamrock cufflinks as a thank you for being nice to her goddaughter Dionne, who visited the show. The gift came with a handwritten note. A source says: "I very much doubt that Amy wrote it herself as at the end of note there was just a scrawling signature in completely different writing." [The Sun]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince had a "scuffle" over their holiday plans: Kate had scratches on her cheek; Jamie had a black eye from her chunky ring. [Page Six]
• OMFG: Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr (Chuck Bass and Vanessa) were seen "canoodling" at the Dallas airport on Sunday night. [Page Six]
• Did anyone see Nastia Liukin on Gossip Girl last night? [LA Times]
• Speaking of Gossip Girl, Kelly Rutherford, aka Lilly van Der Woodsen, is expecting her second child. [ET]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is still with Chris Martin; the rumors that she'd shacked up with a real estate billionaire appear to be false. [Rush & Molloy]
• This reporter is shocked that there are dozens of Facebook groups dedicated to "bullying" Nicole Kidman. One is called "Am I Taking Crazy Pills or is Nicole Kidman the Worst Actress in the World?" and another is "Nicole Kidman Looks Like An Alien With Foetal Alcohol Syndrome." The writer claims, "She is hard-working and dedicated to her family and hasn't a hint of the prima donna about her, they say." [News.com.au]
• Kanye West was playing his new album for the band Keane so loud that he blew up the mixing desk. [The Sun]
• Try to picture Keanu Reeves on a panel with Caltech researchers. It's happening Friday; he's discussing his flick The Day The Earth Stood Still and how "science in the movie meshes with real world scientific research." [UPI]
• The new season of American Idol will be "more real" and "intimate" and "raw," "letting the kids be more emotional." Somehow, Paula Abdul plays a role in this. [MSNBC Scoop]
• You know how Peaches Geldof was working on a magazine? It's called Disappear Here and it will be distributed free on Thursday, in "secret places" in New York. [Gawker]
• News you can't use: Clay Aiken is a "hands-on dad." [People]
• Lost fans: There's a casting call out for a father and son who speak Arabic… Sayid backstory plotline alert! [EW]
• Former UCLA Medical Center employee Lawanda Jackson pleaded guilty Monday to selling confidential info about Farrah Fawcett's cancer battle to the National Enquirer. Plus, she used her boss's password to access the medical records of dozens of patients, including Britney Spears and Maria Shriver. She'll be sentenced in May. [Yahoo News]
• Parminder Nagra, who plays Dr. Neela Rasgotra on ER — and whom some may recall as "Jess" from Bend It Like Beckham, is pregnant with her first child. The baby daddy is boyfriend James Stenson, a photographer, with whom she's been for 7 years. [Us Magazine, UPI]
• Courteney Cox Arquette will be on three episodes of Scrubs, starting January 6. Matthew Perry will also show up on Scrubs, later in the season. [People]
• Eva Longoria smokes. [Perez Hilton]
• "Michael Phelps has turned into a party and poker animal, surrounding himself with bimbos and booze." [Page Six]
• M.I.A. is expecting a B.A.B.Y. and is keeping B.U.S.Y. — she has 3 songs on the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack and launched N.E.E.T., a record label to bring politically charged music to the mainstream. She says: "I think my baby is going to start off making club music. That's all I've been listening to. Of course, you never know. When you want someone to do something, it ends up doing the opposite. It might end up being an accountant." [USA Today]
• Uma Thurman's parents unknowingly hired Tanya Hollander — who is accused of booking call girls at Eliot Spitzer's fave escort service — to manage their upstate yoga center. [NY Post]
• Mariah Carey's husband Nick Cannon has purchased a million dollar ski chalet for Mimi in Aspen. Joint bank account though, right? [Mirror]
• Gabrielle Union says the rumor mill helps her dating life: "Ludacris and Hill Harper are two of my closest male friends, and people always said we were all dating. It's like they were blocking for me. I could date the people I wanted to date and no one ever knew because they thought I was, as somebody said, 'sucking face' with Hill Harper." [Daily Express]
• Ellen Page's Oscar nomination is not enough to get her membership in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences — the peeps who vote on the Oscars. [NY Mag]
• Cate Blanchett: Getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this Friday! [Daily Express]
• Akon's trial for endangering the welfare of a minor — stemming from when he threw a 15-year-old kid off the stage in a 2007 concert — has been postponed until December 17. [Perez Hilton]
• Donald Trump's brother, Robert, is getting divorced from socialite and major philanthropist Blaine Trump. [NY Post]
• Naomi Campbell's Russian billionaire boyfriend punched a photographer in the gut. [Page Six]
• We haven't seen Cher in a while, because she's been in Nepal working with orphans. [Page Six]
• Hear Helena Bonham Carter's voice in an MTV ad about domestic abuse. [Guardian]
• Singer Bryan Adams has called the cops over a mother and son stalker team. The pair — possibly from Romania and suffering psychiatric problems — have been following Adams for weeks. [The Sun]
• Did the fact that Axl Rose went "missing" for two months cost Guns N' Roses the number one slot on the charts? [The Sun]
• The set used for the British TV show The Office was destroyed after a massive explosion and fire. [Daily Express]
• "Some people talk about their personal lives a lot. I try not to, unless it's more of a generality. I don't want to broadcast my personal life because I feel it's off-putting. People are like, 'Oh, shut the fuck up. Cry me a river.' Who wants to hear the reality, really? You can't win." — Kate Bosworth. [Daily Expess]
• "I sit with my investors and business managers and accountants looking at the numbers and I’m like, 'Yo, the values of stocks in different areas that I invested in are decreasing!' So I take the loss like everybody else…I’m waking up in a room that was previously Mike Tyson’s bedroom, a fighter who earned over $500 million in his actual career, and when I purchased his house from him he was in bankruptcy…If that’s not a strong enough reminder for you, I don’t know what’s going to remind you to be aware of where you are financially and make conscious decisions…" — 50 Cent, in Forbes. [The.Life Files]

[West Hollywood, November 6. Image via INF]

Another possible reason for the perceived double standards is that men need to exude stereotypical virility to be considered for leading male roles, and while a woman's femininity isn't necessarily compromised by having sex with other women, a man's masculinity can be compromised by his homosexual leanings. "For women," the Advocate's arts and entertainment editor Corey Scholibo says, "it seems that women and, of course, men will still accept them if they admit to experimentation in the past."

The one example of an out actor who consistently plays it straight is Neil Patrick Harris (love him), whose character on How I Met Your Mother is also a cad. But his roles are usually peripheral, and never the lead. Scholibo also notes that the reaction for Lindsay would be far different than if Ellen Page came out of the closet, since she is known as an actress, whereas Lilo is mostly a "celebrity" now.

I think there has certainly been progress made on this front — look at the not-stereotypically masculine stylings of Pete Wentz and his eyeliner-clad, emo brethren — but last time I spent any amount of time around high school boys (or men with high school mentalities), "fag" was still thrown around as a casual insult. I still have my fingers crossed for a Neil Patrick Harris-helmed rom com!!!

Bisexual In Hollywood: OK For Girls, Not Guys [ABC News]

Earlier: Don't Screw With Dina Lohan's Meal Tickets Kids

<,p>
• Ellen Page,Jane Eyre: Page is set to play Jane Eyre in a new adaptation of the classic novel by Charlotte Bronte. Jane Eyre is a bildungsroman about an orphaned girl who works as a governess for a handsome married man with an insane wife he keeps locked away. Verdict: Just because a film is based on a classic piece of literature doesn't mean that it won't be chock full of female stereotypes (in fact, literature is usually chock full of those!) and Jane Eyre is just about the biggest lovable female victim in English literature.

• Eva Mendes, Queen of the South: Mendes will star as a Mexican woman who escapes to Europe after her boyfriend is murdered and then becomes the reigning drug-smuggler in Spain. She does this all while being hellbent on avenging her murdered boyfriend. Verdict: While the avenging-murdered-lover thing sounds kind of victimy, the drug-smuggling thing sounds kind of awesome. Of course, a woman can't rise to the top unless she has some secret traumatic past haunting her waking and sleeping moments!

• Kirstie Alley, Nailed: Alley will play a veterinarian who cannot remove a nail from her niece's head after an accident. Her niece, played by Jessica Biel, then travels to Washington D.C. to fight for better healthcare and falls in love with a congressman. So quirky! Verdict: Alley's role seems a bit too small to get enough attention to swing it towards any stereotypes.

• Susan Sarandon, Peacock: Peacock is a psychological thriller about a town in the aftermath of a train crash. Sarandon will play the mayor's wife who also runs a woman's shelter. Ellen Page and Cillian Murphy are also set to star. Verdict: There are little details about Sarandon's character, but we imagine it would be pretty difficult to portray a woman who runs a woman's shelter negatively.

"Ellen Page Takes On Jane Eyre" [Variety]
"Queen Appoints Hartnett, Kingsley" [Variety]
"James Brolin Gets Nailed" [THR]
"Susan Sarandon, Josh Lucas Join Peacock" [THR]