Jezebel: Elle

Courtney Love: "You've Got To Fix Your Karma"

Dodai — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:30:00 EST

Is Courtney Love still a musician? It seems like her occupation is to write bizarre blog posts and say kooky things in interviews. (Then again, if the world were full of boring celebrities who always said and did the right thing, what a sad, sad planet it would be.) Ms. Love graces the cover of the January issue of Elle UK, and, as usual, lets it all hang out, spilling about her past, karma, fashion and her daughter. Some choice quotes, after the jump.

In addition to some quotes about her body mentioned in this morning's Dirt Bag ("Baby, if I could get a gastric band I would! I’ve heard it’s a lot of vomiting and a pain in the ass, but it’s still easier than a diet,") here are some gems:
On her past:

"I had a long, hard fall. I set the stage for Britney to crash and burn. I went through it all first."

On karma:

"Let me tell you a story. On Sofia Coppola’s 16th birthday, way back in 1987, I stole a Chanel lip gloss from her Sistine Chapel of a bedroom. I’d never seen Chanel make-up before that. Years later, I left a Chanel lip gloss in the reception of The Mercer hotel for her. You know why? I believe that you’ve got to fix your karma. That’s why it’s so important not to be a victim. I made myself vulnerable. I’m the one who took those drugs."

On fashion:

"In 2004, no designer would lend me an outfit for the Grammys. So I wore a $32 vintage dress in defiance. I was so upset that even my friend Donatella Versace wouldn’t dress me that I called up the photographer David LaChapelle, crying. He said, 'When did you buy into all this? When did you start caring?' And I thought, you are so right. Go to a vintage store and make your own style from now on."

On Frances Bean:

"My daughter knows I did drugs in my first trimester of pregnancy. She weighed 7lb 6oz when she was born and she was healthy. We were excellent parents and I say that despite pretty much always having an edge on. Frances bonded very well with her father, at least in the first year and a half of her life."

Elle UK [Official Site]

December Elle Knows Just What We Want For Christmas

Anna N. — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:00:00 EST

"Elle's Gift Guide," write those mischievous elves at the surprisingly robust women's magazine, "seeks to answer the age-old question: What do you get someone who has everything?" We sympathize; we really have everything this holiday season, what with the great economy and all. So if you'd like to thank your family or friends with a little something, how about a shoe made of solid chocolate ($62 plus the health care costs associated with a case of mouth fungus)? Or a $95 set of mustards? We'll use them to make delicious holiday sandwiches with the season's next big ingredient, root beer leaf, which Elle recommends we acquire by purchasing a $500 membership in something called Veggie U. More great ideas, after the jump.

Elle Writer's Solution To Poverty Is A Superiority Complex

Anna N. — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:00:00 EST

Bliss Broyard's rich friends used to love giving her stuff. At least that's what Broyard, author of One Drop, a memoir about her father's lifelong concealment of his black heritage, claims in this month's Elle. Elle's cover bills the piece as a guide to hanging out with people richer than you — no doubt useful in these lean times — but it's actually a weird exercise in entitlement and rationalization likely to piss off rich and poor alike.

Broyard writes that she hates her parents "for raising me to want a lifestyle that they can't pay for." She continues (all in present tense, despite the fact that her narrative spans twenty years):

Growing up, I take for granted that I will one day be wealthy, too. To make or marry money was the natural trajectory for young women like me — women who attend prep school and a "public Ivy," who know how to tack into the wind and volley a tennis ball and keep their skis clamped tightly against each other. No matter how mortgaged my parents' lifestyle has been, I have apprenticed as a rich person for all my young life and am prepared to move into the position. But that's not what happens.

Instead, she becomes a writer. "As long as I can earn enough to cover the basic necessities — rent, food, and health insurance," she says, "I prefer to avoid long hours in a job I don't like or a marriage in which my responsibilities and power will be predicated to some degree on my earnings." First of all, a writer who can comfortably cover rent, food, and health insurance is rich to me. Second, although she later swears she has friends with fun, high-paying jobs or fun, rich spouses, it's clear she actually looks down on her rich friends.

When getting free clothes from her rich friend Olivia, she notices that it's hard for Olivia to be giving handouts all the time — "everyone grows increasingly pleasant and solicitous around Christmas [...] and then the feigned surprise and exaggerated gratitude when the cash or check appears." Broyard, though, is different:

I give my wealthy girlfriends something, too. As a reminder of how the other half lives, I help keep them grounded amid charity auctions, private jet rides, and vacation plans that cost more than their kids' tuition. [...] Having me in their lives is proof that their kind of people aren't only rich people. And I allow them one of the great pleasures of having money — spontaneous generosity without guilt or expectation.

See, Broyard is totally different from those freeloaders, because she makes her friends feel good about themselves. Because otherwise they'd feel awful, with all that money. And maybe (although she doesn't explicitly say this in the article) something about her difference has to do with her faux-wealthy upbringing — she's just like a rich person, except she's poor! Her recipe for hanging out with rich people seems to be: wish you were rich (like you were supposed to be)... then feel superior when you're not!

Women's Interest

Sadie — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:40:00 EST

Nylon may be safe, but according to a breakdown of ad page performance that mediabistro.com just posted (from WWD), things are scary indeed in the world of fashion magazines. In the third quarter, the industry saw a 10% decline as categories like pharmaceutical and beauty slashed their ad budgets. Some of the hardest hit are Vanity Fair (down 15.3% since last year - approximately 84 ad pages), W, Glamour and Essence, with even stalwarts like Vogue dangerously diminished (9.6%.) Bucking the trend is Elle, which, Stylista notwithstanding, had an increase in ad sales. Fingers and toes crossed for everyone — we may mock the ladymags, but we hate to see people lose jobs. [mediabistro]

Stylista's Anne Slowey Scares Contestant Into ER Visit

Tracie — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:40:00 EDT

It's not really clear whether or not Elle's Anne Slowey is playing up the whole Cruella-wears-Prada character on Stylista, or if that's really how she is. Whatever the case, it's entertaning, except to the contestants. Jason, an aspiring clothing designer, was so freaked out by the impending judging and elimination ceremony that he broke out into a rash. Then he got freaked out by that and had to go to the bathroom. Then he got freaked out from feeling sick to his stomach and unable to breathe. Then he got so freaked out by not being able to breathe that he began rolling around on the floor grabbing his chest and crying. He freaked out more when people said they were going to call 911, because he really wanted to talk to Anne during judging. The EMT ended up taking him away. Clip above.

Stylista "Fiercely" Cribs From Other Shows Fond Of The Word "Fierce"

Maria — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:40:00 EDT

Well, it's here: the long-awaited premiere of the Tyra Banks-produced reality series, Stylista. The premise is a simple (if not recycled) one: a group of young adults compete for the coveted position of "junior editor" at Elle magazine (a job once held by former Jezebel Jennifer Gerson), which includes a year of rent-free living and a wardrobe allowance. The show revolves around Elle Fashion News Director Anne Slowey, who is, by most accounts, not as icy as the Anne Slowey that she plays on TV. The critics agree that the show is good for its niche, but if a combination of The Devil Wears Prada, Ugly Betty and Project Runway doesn't appeal to you, you might want to skip this one. The reviews, after the jump.

Slate:

The show feels approachably lo-fi (wardrobe by H&M, cinematography by no one interested in the beguiling gold of them thar Hills), and the references to aesthetics are just arch enough to convey that it's in the know as a work of trash about mechanical reproduction. The contestants, being somewhat more literate than your usual reality-TV cretins, say dumb things in an interesting way. (Poor, poor, unfortunate Arnaldo: "I think in the box, out of the box, and sometimes take the box and turn it into a triangle.") Stylista is not a guilty pleasure; the guilt is the pleasure, and never more so than when Kate, freshly savaged by Megan, whimpers with terror at her newfound capacity for contempt: "I've learned what it feels like to hate other people." Chin up, honey. You are only on the precipice of adulthood. With practice, hating people is as fun and easy as an afternoon of backgammon or an hour of bad TV.

Variety:

Given that the show comes from the "Top Model" team, the slick accessories and production style shouldn't be completely surprising; still, this genre is so overcrowded right now (Bravo's "Runway" knockoffs alone are practically stumbling over each other) that the prospects seem inherently limited.

Throw a bouquet, then, strictly to the casting folks for the assortment of types they've assembled. Beyond that, "Stylista" qualifies as fierce, to borrow producer Tyra Banks' phraseology, only in its steadfast commitment to copying the same old models.

Los Angeles Times:

At times Slowey comes off like a Mean Girl writ large, but some of this at least appears to be put on — a put-on. (She barely resembles the Slowey who appears on the Elle website, leading a video tour of her own closet.) At other times, with Creative Director Joe Zee by her side, judging the contestants' self-makeovers or their mock magazine pages, she can seem like a reasonable person.

The New York Times:

Are there any bosses anywhere as demanding as Ms. Slowey pretends to be? Not really, and maybe on some level we miss them. Part of the appeal of a show like “Stylista” is that it resurrects a long-vanished way of office life, one filled with rules and regulations, distinct hierarchies and dress codes and nothing as fuzzy as flex time. As Ms. Slowey succinctly explains to the contestants at the outset: “To be in my world you either get it or you don’t.” No one has to spend a lot of time figuring out a manager like this.

Washington Post:

Resemblances to the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" are obvious; the job that the competitors are vying for is essentially the position that Anne Hathaway had in the movie, and "Stylista" has a very bossy boss in Anne Slowey, Elle magazine's fashion news director. She's not the fire-breathing shrew played so merrily by Meryl Streep, but she's obviously a toughie. She reviews the appearances of the contestants soon after they arrive, telling one of them: "Your cleavage is busting out. It's in my face."

The wisdom imparted by Slowey and by Joe Zee, Elle's creative director, hardly sounds like hot insider poop, however: "First impressions are important" is among the priceless gems. "If you're going to live in my world, you either get it or you don't," lectures Slowey before reviewing the contestants' first assignment: buying her a takeout breakfast from a local deli.

Newsday:

Imagine Slowey's horror to think that someone with my style sense is judging her show. Why, if I were to accidentally drift into her rarefied orbit, she'd faint dead away - then call the fashion police, who'd faint dead away, too. But I do know something about TV shows, and this one works best when she is on camera (which is not nearly enough) and the program focuses on clothing - that great, exasperating, endlessly complicated art form known as "fashion." Really, does anyone care that Anne only eats almonds that have been soaked overnight (amusing, but ...) or how to lay out a page? Of course not. Fashion queens like Slowey promise the keys to the kingdom; landing a gofer gig at Elle would hardly seem to be that.

'Stylista' premieres tonight on CW at 9 p.m.

Elle fashion editor and Stylista judge Anne ...

Jessica — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:40:00 EDT

Elle fashion editor and Stylista judge Anne Slowey had this to say about the role of assistant editor, over which the the Stylista contestants are competing "Q: What do assistants — or "junior editors" — at Elle do? A: Well! This will be interesting to figure out when it comes time for the person to begin the job! People keep saying they're working for me — I haven't been told they are…So they'll probably do a rotation — like a first-year med student!" We do not want Stylista participants coming anywhere near us with a needle, however. [LAT]

Elle's A Lumberjack, And It's Okay

Anna N. — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Elle recognizes that times are tough this season — that's why all its fall fashion ideas double as Halloween costumes. If you'd like to be a lumberjack, for instance, page 152 has all you need, including high heels (plaid), suspenders, and a vinyl backpack shaped like a tree trunk ($54). If werewolves are more your speed, check out p. 160 for a hat with fur extending down over the face ($2,580, or 100 silver bullets). And if you need something to carry your greasepaint around, look no further than p. 150, where you'll find a crystal-encrusted minaudiere shaped like a polar bear ($3,995, and a minaudiere is a makeup case, you uncultured swine). It's the perfect accessory for any occasion, be it a global-warming-themed champagne brunch (just place the polar bear on a dwindling ice sculpture), or an intimate Halloween gathering for 500. More Elle, after the jump.

Celexa Made Me "Smug": Elle Writer Calls Out Meds' Lesser-Known Side Effects

Anna N. — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:00:00 EDT

It's hard to find a really nuanced take on psychotropic drugs these days. TV ads try to convince you that meds will transform your life from horrible to awesome (cf. the current Abilify commercial, in which a woman describes her bipolar disorder while wandering a lonely beach, then returns home to bask in the embrace of the man Abilify apparently helped her catch). On the other side, an increasing number of naysayers (backed up by disturbing but conflicting evidence) warn that Prozac leads not only to suicide but to the decline of Western civilization. This month, a middle ground opens up in, of all places, Elle magazine, where author Cathi Hanauer details her complex experience with Celexa. Her piece hits some false notes, but it also points out what's potentially the worst side effect of SSRIs: complacency.

Lots of anti-antidepressant screeds quickly admit that, of course, really mentally ill people should take medicine, but that the rest of us should just suck it up and deal with our feelings. This stance is wrong-headed because it fails to understand mental illness as a spectrum and instead assumes that everyone who takes drugs is either 100% batshit or an overprivileged sissy. Hanauer takes a better approach, viewing SSRI treatment as a matter of costs and benefits.

For her, Celexa had both. It did in fact, make her feel awesome — she slept better, yelled less, and even finished a novel. But it also made her complacent — "I felt good and didn't want anything to change, to potentially alter my high" — and smug — "if you're so tortured, I'd think, stop whining and medicate!"

Hanauer acknowledges that the second cost may be a widespread one. She says she finds her Celexa-smugness "sobering, especially given the number of Americans now on these meds. Compassion is not something we want to lose on a large scale." But she considers only the personal side effects of her complacency, noting that most of the important and beneficial changes in her life came from dissatisfaction. She never makes the next logical step: most important changes in the world come from dissatisfaction too.

Medication can be an important tool in the treatment of mental illness, but the relief it brings can distract doctors, patients — and policymakers — from problems that still exist. Being poor makes you more likely to get mental illness; so does being a veteran. And so, I suspect, does living in a country that cares as little for its poor and sick as ours does. So while drugs can do wonders — especially for those who can afford them — we need to remember that depression and anxiety come from the world as well as the brain, and that the world needs fixing too.

Club Med [Elle]

Gwyneth Paltrow Tells You How To Dress Like An Oblivious Rich Person!

Sadie — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 11:30:00 EDT

In case Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle blog, Goop, wasn't quite irritating enough, now she brings us a breakdown of how to get her look. Apparently Roger Vivier bangles help. And don't think that one Uniqlo skirt fools anyone, Gwynnie; we've been wise to those tricks since Lucky hit newsstands! [Racked]
Fashionologie claims it's "always a treat" to hear Kate Moss talk. We respectfully disagree. Draw yout own conclusions from this video of her "designing." [Fashionologie]
Here are La Moss's "10 Style Rules": one of them's "Make It Look Effortless." Another is, "When In Doubt, Buy Diamonds." Oh, okay! Maybe this is Gwyneth's secret? [The Guardian]
Karl Lagerfeld is now a proper noun in Le Petit Larousse Illustré. He also designed the cover. [WWD]

Anya Hindmarch for Target sells out in 2 minutes! [VogueUK]
PR's Jerrell comes off as a class act. "Who wants drama? That's not what we're there for. This isn't I Love New York; we're not sitting in a hot tub getting drunk. We're here to show the world what we do." [EW]
Elle teams with Stardoll to make a tween/teen virtual mag. Kids can dress avatars in "high end virtual couture (such as apparel from DKNY). Users can also play virtual dress up with celebrity avatars such as Paris Hilton or Katie Holmes." I'm still holding out for a virtual thrift store! [Media Week]
Recessions make strange bedfellows: Ann Taylor teams up with Proctor and Gamble to promote cleaning products that cut down on dry-cleaning. [NY Times]
Zara succeeds by making fashion faster — and paying workers better. [Business Week]
Bollywood star Kareena Kapoor launches a fashion web site. [UPI]
We can't really improve upon Mollygood's description of Stylista, the new Devil Wears Prada reality ripoff: "Incompetent people who have no business being involved in the fashion industry? Check. Frightening dictator (fashion news director Anne Slowey)? Check. Inane tasks that have seemingly nothing to do with fashion? Check. The difference: We wanted Anne Hathaway to succeed in the movie; in the reality TV version, we kind of hope everyone fails miserably." [Mollygood]
Mary McFadden: "When people look back at this period in our civilization, they'll say: This was the beginning of functional clothes ... I'm sorry, in a way people's lifestyles have become very utilitarian." Well, that explains sparkly leggings! [BlackBook]
Not shockingly, discounters keeping their heads above retailers'. Does anyone else think those TJ Maxx ads where they explain how they keep their prices so low are completely genius? [NY Times]
And, yes, LVMH is finally feeling the pinch. [WSJ]
Louis Vuitton keeping them afloat. [WWD]
That said, Armani is still really confident about opening shop in India. [Hindustan Times]
Liz Hurley's Versace safety-pin dress has been named "The Greatest Red Carpet Gown of All Time." "Greatest" is apparently open to interpretation. [Mirror]
Pixie Geldof takes on human trafficking. Via a tee shirt, obvs! [ElleUK]
Ethical knitwear label Izzy Lane has won the RSPCA Good Business Award for its sheep-friendly practices. [Guardian]
Leona Lewis snubs Harrods because of their continuing sales of fur. [Peta2]
Someone's plastering Rachel Zoe's face all over New York. [Fashionista]
Taylor Momsen's first modeling shots! Based on our newfound Top Model expertise, we'd say Little J is still looking for her signature pose. [Fabsugar]
Balenciaga launches new frangrance, hopes to "renew Balenciaga's image as a serious fragrance contender." [ElleUK]

Elle's 'Women In Hollywood' Attendees Looked Awesome, Terrible, And Awesome Again

Sadie — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 10:30:00 EDT

The 15th Annual 15th annual Women In Hollywood Tribute, hosted by Elle Magazine, took place last night at the Four Seasons Hotel in L.A. I'll just give it to you straight: It was a wild ride. The highs were high, the lows were low, and the breakdown was shocking. Halle Berry looked bad. Yet Anne Hathaway looked good! Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez, Kate Beckinsale and Eva Mendes were all wild cards. Seriously, my heart was in my mouth from image to image. The Good, the Bad, the Ugly — after the jump!

The Good:
It is with great pleasure that I announce Kerry Washington's return to the "Goods."

Katharine McPhee's apple green is one of the evening's highlights.

How pretty is Perrey Reeves' diaphanous number?

Amber Tamblyn looks sophisticated and awesome but still plenty young. Plus, her dad played Gideon Pontipee, let's talk turkey.

Wow. Loses the shady boy, establishes herself as a serious actress, looks good on the red carpet! Nice work, Anne.

Kate Beckinsale may pull this look a lot, but there's a reason!

Courteney Cox looks effortless. That said, I really hate that asinine "reverse psychology" voting ad of Leonardo DiCaprio's that she's in.

Angie Harmon reminds us she's stunning.

The Bad:
I literally can't think of anything complimentary to say about Halle Berry's ensemble.

I dithered over whether to liken this to a 19th century men's nightshirt, goth Lolitas, or misguided mod — and the fact that these things are all in reference to the same outfit is in itself disquieting.

Nicole Kidman looking creepy is, sadly, no longer worthy of comment.

Um...what the hell?

Krysten Ritter's outfit reminds me of a 19th century tutu. And yet I don't like it.

Melora Hardin's dress has some good ideas behind it. I'm trying to sound like an encouraging professor, here.

Jenna Dewan: go to jail, go directly to jail.

The Ugly:
If you insist upon wearing a little boy's bellhop uniform like Catherine Hardwicke...no, you know what? Don't do that.

Like Heather Thomas, I often think that little touch my outfit needs is a cherry red fur chubby.

[Images via Getty]

Jennifer Lopez On The Twins: "They're Going To Love Everybody More Than Me!"

Dodai — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 09:00:00 EDT

A very interesting interview with Jennifer Lopez reveals that she does not breast-feed, had a nervous breakdown after the birth of her kids and she's sort of into Scientology. And she sounds like a control freak. Then there's this quote: "At the tenth day after giving birth all that chemical stuff did peak—that hormone thing—and I did cry a lot that day because I was having so much trouble moving. I couldn’t get up fast enough to feed the babies…Marc was helping out a lot and I was crying and crying and going, 'Oh, Papi...they’re going to know everybody more than me…They're going to love everybody more than me!'" [The Daily Beast]
Holly Madison and Hugh Hefner: Splitsville. [TMZ]
How much would you pay to hit Michael Lohan in the face? Get your chance at a charity boxing match in Long Island. [Yahoo News]
Yay! Tina Fey has signed a $5 million book deal for a work of nonfiction humor. [Reuters]
Sarah Palin. On Saturday Night Live. Maybe. [MSNBC]

Nicole Kidman tells Elle magazine that she has no regrets and would marry Tom Cruise again: "[He] taught me an enormous amount — as a girl into a woman." How delightful…ly creepy. [LA Times]
Nicole tells Elle that being a mom at a later age "is a more painful love. It's almost like my heart is stretching." Then again she could be talking about her face on that cover. [People]
Kate Moss and Jamie Hince: Back on. [Mirror]
Victoria Beckham's skin looks great because she gets facial treatments that use a paste made from nightingale droppings. David uses bird poo too. [Daily Mail]
"Brooklyn just loves The Beatles. Can't get him to listen to any of my records, though!" — Posh. [Page Six]
As mentioned before, David Duchovny is out of sex rehab and back home, where he can watch his TV show about a guy who has an insatiable appetite for chicks. [People]
Amy Winehouse is considered suicidal and her friends and family are watching her 24 hours a day. This editor suggests that Britney's dad, Jamie Spears, should stay with Amy, since he was such a stabilizing force on Brit. [LA Times]
Rachel Zoe, lying about her age? Ha! Jo Piazza of the NY Daily News says: "Zoe has been ranting on her new show that she's so anal (and annoying?) because she's a triple Virgo. In astrology terms, that means she was born in the sign of Virgo, her rising sign is a Virgo, and her moon sign is a Virgo. Well, our experts say that isn't possible if Zoe is 37 and was born on Sept. 1, 1971, as she claims. In fact, says our pro, she'd actually be five to 10 years older than that if she were indeed a Triple-V." [NY Daily News, Perez Hilton]
See Britney pretend to be a waitress on the set of her new video! [Socialite Life]
Jennifer Aniston's pup needs therapy, and gets Reiki and acupuncture treatments at $350 a week. A dog's life is ruff. [Perez Hilton]
The fifth season of Project Runway ends October 15, but how long before season six? Filming is almost complete. It was supposed to air in January, but the court proceedings may cause it to be delayed. But being on the air in January means the finale can be at Fashion Week in February; otherwise the contestants would have to wait until next September. And what about fans? "I think they're going to be sad if they have to wait," says Heidi Klum. "And, of course, we will be sad too. But we're all sitting in the same boat. We don't really know what is going to happen." [LA Times]
A while back, Charlize Theron did an interview with MTV and questioned why The Hills is so big, since "it's about nothing." Recently, Spencer and Heidi fired back: Spencer says, "Reindeer Games, that was about what? I think she’s about 65 or something. She’s been in the game for like 100 years." [ONTD]
Oh, and the rumor that Lauren Conrad hooked up with Justin Bobby seems to have been started by Spencer Pratt, though he denies it and also says, "Why LC continues to bring me up whenever she gets into trouble is beyond me." [MollyGood]
Get ready to hear more about this crap than you want to: Us is supposedly putting the feud between Lauren and Audrina on the cover. [Perez Hilton]
Kylie Minogue's new man is HOT. He's a model named Andres Velencoso and you can see him shirtless on the runway in a swimsuit if you click. [The Sun]
Khloe Kardashian says Kim is relieved to be off of Dancing With The Stars because the judges were "harsh" on her. She also says Kim is "brutally shy." LOL. [People]
Anne Hathaway has landed a part in Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland: She'll play the White Queen. Helena Bonham Carter is the Red Queen. [Hollywood Reporter]
Pixie Geldof got a tattoo of her late mom's signature on her wrist. [Mirror]
Matthew Broderick will return to Broadway in the spring in a revival called The Philanthropist. [AP]
Dermot Mulroney is a dad again: Less than a year after his divorce from Catherine Keener, he and his new girlfriend, Thairta, baptized their seven-month-old daughter at San Pietro's Church in Roccascalegna, Italy. Dermot and Catherine have a son named Clyde, who was born in 1999. [Star]
Mary Louise Parker wished her parents would adopt a sibling for her when she was growing up, and when she adopted her daughter from Africa last year, it was a dream come true. "I still think it's something everyone should do if they can and want to," she says. [People]
Leo DiCaprio: Not getting married any time soon. [People]
As previously reported, Bull Durham 2 is in the works. More info here. [UPI]
Diddy and his twins are on the cover of Baby Couture magazine. You know, the one that says, "We put the 'coo' in couture." There appear to be 2 covers; one with Daddy Diddy and one with Baby Mama Kim Porter. Collect 'em both! [The.Life Files]
Cher had to cancel shows in Vegas due to asthma-related bronchitis. Be well! [Perez Hilton]
Breast cancer survivor Olivia Newton-John has a new CD, which helps raise money for a cancer wellness center in Australia. [CBS News]
Rosetta Getty threw a giant birthday party at her L.A. home and Liv Tyler, Eva Mendes, Selma Blair and Rosanna and Patricia Arquette partied til the wee hours. Not there: Rosetta's husband Balthazar and his girlfriend Sienna Miller. [WWD]
R. Kelly won a $3.4 million judgment against a former tour promoter. You can get really good lawyers with that kind of cash. [AP]
Michael Douglas will get the American Film Institute's Lifetime Achievement Awards next summer, 18 years after his dad got one. Despite his youthful face, Michael Douglas is 64. [Daily Express]
Was Evel Knievel involved in a series of beatings? The FBI alleged he was connected to a "crime syndicate." [Breitbart/AP]
Meat Loaf was rushed to the hospital last night after a "vertigo attack." [Mirror]
"Brenda was realistic. She was normal. Not many 16-year-olds are so morally correct, you know? She had her moments where she was a great girl, and her moments where she was a bitch and you wanted to kill her, times when she was completely peaceful and times where she would bitch-slap Dylan in the face and never talk to Kelly again. She had those extremes." — Shannen Doherty. [Radar]
"Really wonderful things are happening now. It looks like things are looking up again." — Lynne Spears. [People]
"Between my wife and myself, I'm the pushover as far as the kids are concerned. I wouldn't call myself strict." — Russell Crowe. [People]
"My priorities have changed so much. I've been single for months now and I've turned my attention toward my passions, my friends, and the causes I believe in. It's been about learning who I am, not through a man, but for myself. I've had a couple fun, frolicky relationships, but really, I got out of a five-year relationship and I dated a few people here and there. I've been spending time with my friends and doing more traveling with the U.N. and challenging myself at work." — Drew Barrymore. [People]
"I was at a function, and a bunch of political types were there. And John McCain was there. He came up to say hello, I said, 'Look, don't even ask it. I will not be your vice president. I have to be on the top of the ticket.' Most of the time - (from Bill Clinton's former vice president) Al Gore, going back - you saw the vice president very little. That would be the least appealing job, I think." — Clint Eastwood. [Daily Express]
"Sarah Palin can't come to my party. Sarah Palin can't come to my show." — Madonna, during her concert. [TMZ]

Photoshop Of Horrors

Dodai — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 09:40:00 EDT

Is Nicole Kidman's face "touched up" on the cover of Elle? Michael K at DListed thinks so. He calls her forehead "polished marble" and writes: "Nicole actually deserves a little credit for holding up her face on the cover. If she let go, her whole mug would just fall to the floor." (Click to enlarge.) [DListed]

Loose Lips

Maria — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:20:00 EDT

The Los Angeles County DA has decided to not file felony charges against Kanye West and his bodyguard for a previous altercation with the paparazzi at LAX. However, Kanye may get a misdemeanor charge. • DJ AM has been released from Doctors Hospital in Georgia and is presumably on his way back to Los Angeles. • Not-so-unexpected-news: It has reportedly been confirmed that Marie Claire will sponsor the next season of Project Runway on Lifetime in Los Angeles. • Wait, Project Runway is now not going to Lifetime? It seems NBC Uni has won its case against the Weinstein Company. [Perez, TMZ, NY Mag, TV Week]

October Elle: Vomit Has Never Been So Beautiful

Intern Margaret — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 15:40:00 EDT

This month's Elle features an interview with Sex and the City creator Candace Bushnell, in which we learn this charming anecdote: Once, during Bushnell's habitually "shitfaced" NYC party girl days in the 1980s, the author's friend was "chatting with Bushnell at a party on a high-floor terrace, when Bushnell almost daintily turned her head, vomited to the ground below, and then resumed the conversation as though nothing had happened." Ha! What a perfect metaphor for this month's issue! Reading the October Elle feels just like being trapped at a coke-fueled party in the late '80s, surrounded by neon leopard print, punky zippers and chains, obnoxious floral prints, and of course, ruffles. But which part spurs the inevitable boot and rally? The 700th profile to describe J.Lo as "superwoman?" The anti-aging article that encourages women in their 20s to inject various toxins into their neck and under-eye area? After the jump, check out our version of Elle's cover and decide which part most makes you want to hurl.

Will The Marie Claire TV Show Be Fresh & Juicy Or Old News?

Dodai — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 12:00:00 EDT

These days, it's not enough for a magazine to just be a mere publication. A magazine has to be online. A magazine has to be on TV. Yesterday, AdAge reported that after Elle participated in Project Runway, the mag saw newsstand sales and ad pages soar — going from number 6 to number 2 in its category, second only to Vogue. (Now Vogue has an online docu-series "Model.Live.") Elle has parted ways with Project Runway, but will launch Stylista on The CW in October. And Marie Claire will partner with the Style Network to produce Running In Heels, a weekly series about the lives of Marie Claire editors. But none of the TV shows about magazines will show you what you really want to see:

The juicy stuff. The scandalous stuff. Who showed up late and bitchy for her cover shoot? Who had to have Evian for her lap dog? Which editor is generally hated for her negative attitude? Who is ultimately responsible for the epic amount of Photoshopping that goes on to create a cover "image"? What do the photographs of the women on the covers of these magazines look like before they are tampered with? (Well, we have an answer for that.) The chances that we'll see any of this stuff is as slim as the waists they whittle on the covers of Elle and Marie Claire.

Having worked in magazines for 10 years, I was privy to all kinds of tantalizing secrets: A friend at a rival teen mag witnessed breast augmentation scars while a certain pop star was changing at a photo shoot. A member of a boy band confessed he threw away his underwear after wearing it once. I walked into an interview with a popular recording artist, who had a major radio hit, to find the conference room at the record label completely filled with marijuana smoke. And I was small time! Imagine the stories the folks at Marie Claire could tell. Instead, Running In Heels will be an attempt to "uncover what it means to be a working woman in the cut-throat, exhilarating world of a top fashion and beauty magazine," which means we'll probably see, well, women running in heels. Which we saw when The Devil Wears Prada came out, two years ago.

Mags Go From Spreads to Screens [AdAge]
Marie Claire, Style Net to Create Reality Series [Folio]

Earlier: Here's Our Winner: Redbook Shatters Our Faith In, Well, Not Publishing, But Maybe God

Conservatives Use Sexism To Attack, Undermine Feminists

Megan — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:00:00 EDT

When I wrote my first real post about Sarah Palin as the Republican's Vice Presidential nominee, I noted — as many others were noting and have since — that she was hardly the candidate with the best or even remotely complete record on women's issues like reproductive choice or pay equity. I did so even as my email inbox was crackling with false emails about her family and comments from supposed liberals about everything from her ability to parent a special-needs child and govern at the same time to variations on the pretty-can't-be-smart theme.

Within 24 hours, I snapped and replied to some unwitting e-mailer that I found the comments disgusting and that what we really needed to think about was who we were trying to convince — and what we were trying to convince those people of. Well, if the polls that show women flocking to the McCain ticket and the response she's engendering from conservatives is any sign, we've convinced some people of one thing — that many feminists are feminist only to other feminists.

Now, naturally, few of these conservatives are exactly noted feminists themselves, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or a Wasilla mayor) to smell an opportunity to marginalize feminists or point out hypocrisies obvious enough to drive a wedge between liberal feminists and the very women that many of us have been trying to convince to vote for Barack Obama. Take Michelle Malkin, for example — hardly the kind of opinionated conservabloggier that I tend to agree with. Last week, she pointed out the opprobrium that rained down upon Sarah Palin's head for working late into her pregnancy, returning to work early and staying in a demanding job while parenting a special-needs child. She also pointed out that plenty of it came from female journalists who themselves have children and extremely demanding careers. Of course, she called them hacks and water-carriers for Obama, but that's Malkin for you — and it doesn't make her point less valid or accessible to the women that Obama needs on his side.

Then there's noted feminist scholar Jonah Goldberg, who manages to decry sexism and feminist hypocrisy even as he compares feminists to "stuck pigs" and says that one might resemble "a childless feminist who looks like a Bulgarian weightlifter in drag." But, he also hits up Gloria Steinem's OpEd, Cintra Wilson's screed and professor/columnist Wendy Doniger's truly offensive statement that Palin's "greatest hypocrisy is in her pretense that she is a woman." Because, really, there's no better way to win over independent women voters than to question their gender because of their political or religious beliefs. Women on the left should not be denying one another's womanhood because of disagreements about abortion and religion anymore than we should be allowing men like Rush Limbaugh to decide who is or is not a feminist. The problem with Goldberg's piece is not his glaringly offensive stereotypes and generalizations about feminists, it's that he can say all kinds of offensive things about mannish, childless women and it's still only barely as shocking as a feminist saying a person cannot be a Republican and a woman at the same time. And the latter bit is the only thing that's going to get a lot of traction in Central Pennsylvania, Ohio, Colorado and Michigan among the women that have swung every election for the last two decades.

Libertarian Cathy Young (who really could never annoy me as much as Goldberg or Malkin) writes a far more reasoned and compelling piece today in the Wall Street Journal asking why feminists hate Sarah Palin seemingly beyond reason. She hits some of the same shock quotes as Goldberg before her (and me before him, actually) and says that, from her perspective, Palin's "pro-life feminism [and] small-government, individualist feminism" is more attractive than a kind of feminism that requires government intervention to achieve equality. That's the kind of argument that will play well with independent women voter. It also makes its point about the feminist "hatred" of Palin without reverting to stereotypes about looks and doesn't dismiss the notion that choice is a concern for American women. This is far, far more convincing to the people that need to be convinced — you know, those 30-40 percent of voters in the middle — than arguing that Sarah Palin isn't "really" a woman.

Finally, even Elle's political blogger, Lucy Morrow Caldwell, gets in on the action, chastising South Carolina Democratic Party chairwoman Carol Fowler for saying that Palin's "primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion" (even as she mucks up Fowler's position in the party). Caldwell also says that no one ever suggested about Obama that "his race was the only reason he'd become a candidate in the first place," a statement that is not entirely true, as Geraldine Ferraro no doubt remembers. But few people are going to take the time to point out these inaccuracies in the politics blog of a fashion magazine, and the issue of feminists "bashing" Palin for gendered reasons allows Caldwell to gloss over the part where she herself would be "more cautious [than Palin] on certain foreign policy fronts" in favor of hitting up the mean, mean feminists.

It's not like I don't understand where the anger is coming from. I have heard often enough from liberal women that they don't understand how women can even be Republican...without, of course, ever actually asking one and listening to the answer. I also understand that, in the absence of comprehensive public record of Palin's stances on issues like pay equity or government-funded childcare, it's easy enough to attribute McCain's (bad) stances on those issues to her, especially since, as his running mate, they in effect are her new stances on those issues — and it's easy to conflate hating her positions with hating her as a person. For many women, she seems to be trying to have it both ways, to trumpet her family values and her careerism in a way that Republicans have often bashed other women for doing.

But, most of all, I think the attacks are coming from a place of insecurity that Palin (and all that comes with her) might soften the McCain campaign enough for him to triumph in November. And so if we rail against her, if we play the game of politics by their supposed rules and castigate her for the things conservatives have castigated liberal women for for decades (see: Hillary Clinton) then maybe they won't vote for her and him. The problem is that each party stands by its own hypocrites (see: Congressmen John Mutha and Jim Moran on the left and Senators David Vitter and Larry Craig on the right), so all we're doing by bashing her is inspiring a defense by her ideological compatriots and re-branding feminism as something that defends only liberal women against bias (and that denies a woman's womanliness if she dares to disagree politically, which is straight out of the Republican play book). That's not my feminism and that's not my idea of equality — and, for a lot of moderate women, it's not theirs either.

Polls Show Big Shift To McCain Among White Women [Reuters]
Is Sarah Palin a Feminist? Friday Feminist Fuck NO. [Feministing]
Sisterhood of the Protected Female Liberal Journalists [Michelle Malkin]
Feminist Army Aims Its Canons at Palin [National Review]
All Beliefs Welcome, Unless They are Forced on Others [Newsweek]
Why Feminists Hate Sarah Palin [Wall Street Journal]
Right Angles [Elle]
S.C. Dem Chair: Palin Primary Qualification Is She Hasn't Had An Abortion [Politico]
Ferraro’s Obama Remarks Become Talk of Campaign [NY Times]

Expensive Shit(Fight): We Have A Winner

Dodai — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Over the past week, Interns Anna and Margaret have done the tireless work (and we mean tireless) of adding up all of the expensive shit in the hefty September issues of the major women's magazines. Today saw a Gucci studded motorcycle jacket for $5,395; Elizabeth Arden Prevage Anti-Aging Treatment that'll cost you $155; a $1,750 Tiffany sapphire and platinum necklace — in Teen Vogue (!!!) — and previously, a $135,000 Louis Vuitton diamond-encrusted watch, a Chanel dress which would set one back $17,355 and a Fendi 24K-gold mink coat for $64,300. Earlier in the week, we asked you to guess the final total dollar amount of the crap in all the September issues, without going over. We have a total, and a winner! Results, after the jump.

The total amount of expensive shit being shilled in the September issues of Elle, Vogue, Bazaar, Lucky, Glamour, Marie Claire, W, and Allure: $6,949,006

The winner: Kimsama, who guessed $6,945,027.95, with a difference of $3,978.10.

CONGRATULATIONS!

E-mail dodai@jezebel.com to claim your prize. We'll be donating $200 in your name to the charity of your choosing… though that charity cannot be Condé Nast.

Thanks to everyone for playing.

Earlier: September Smackdown: Elle Vs. Vogue
September Smackdown: Allure Vs. Lucky
September Smackdown: Marie Claire Vs. Glamour
September Smackdown: Harper's Bazaar Vs. W

Not Much Has Changed: The Faces In September Ladymags Are Overwhelmingly White

Maria — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:30:00 EDT

Nothing quite says "It's August" like sifting through the pounds and pounds of perfume-scented and white-washed pages from the September issues of the major women's magazines. Sure, Italian Vogue came out with an "All Black" issue in July, but even that success probably won't motivate the editors of American women's magazines into showing a little diversity, especially if the September issues are any indication. After the jump, check out our roundup of the models of color in the ads and fashion spreads of the September ladymags, where, not surprisingly, Asian models are scarce, black models sell cleaning products, and Caucasians rule.

(Models were counted as being "ambiguous/mixed race" if we weren't sure what race they are (like the Kate Spade ads where the model was covered up), they were obviously of mixed race (Kimora Lee Simmons—still starring in her own ads!), or a non-European Hispanic woman.)

Here are the results:

Lucky:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 2 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total Black models: 16 (4 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 109 (11 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 16 (4 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 143
TOTAL ADS: 151

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 5
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1

TOTAL MODELS: 6
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 3

Cosmopolitan:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 15 (7 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 80 (12 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 9 (2 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 104
TOTAL ADS: 109

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 2 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 0

TOTAL MODELS: 2
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 2

Glamour:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 2 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total Black models: 14 (4 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 91 (12 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 10 (2 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 117
TOTAL ADS: 115

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 4 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1

TOTAL MODELS: 5
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 4

Allure:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 15 (3 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 69 (9 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 12 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 96
TOTAL ADS: 81

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 4
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1

TOTAL MODELS: 5
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 5

Teen Vogue:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 3
• Total Black models: 14 (4 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 83 (13 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 7 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 74
TOTAL ADS: 94

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 1
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 2
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1 (1 celebrity/non-model)

TOTAL MODELS: 4
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 4

Marie Claire:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 3 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total Black models: 8 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total White models: 70 (7 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 13 (7 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 94
TOTAL ADS: 102

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 3
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1 (1 celebrity/non-model)

TOTAL MODELS: 4
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 5

Harper's Bazaar:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 3 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total Black models: 6 (1 celebrity/ non-model)
• Total White models: 140 (13 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 14 (5 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 163
TOTAL ADS: 152

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 2
• Total Black models: 3
• Total White models: 14
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 0

TOTAL MODELS: 19
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 12

Elle:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 4
• Total Black models: 14 (6 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 187 (12 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 16 (4 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 221
TOTAL ADS: 205

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 1
• Total White models: 9 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1 (1 celebrity/non-model)

TOTAL MODELS: 11
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 9

Vogue:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 7 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total Black models: 9 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total White models: 236 (14 celebrity non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 9 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 261
TOTAL ADS: 214

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 9 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 0

TOTAL MODELS: 9
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 7

Overall Totals:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 24 (7 celebrity/non-models)
• Total Black models: 111 (31 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 1,065 (93 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 106 (33 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 1,273
TOTAL ADS: 1,223

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 3
• Total Black models: 4
• Total White models: 38 (6 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 6 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 65
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 51

This means that in advertising, out of 1,273 ads, if 24 Asian models were used, that is 1.8% Asian. And 111 black models might seem like a lot, but that's actually 8.7% black. 1,065 white models out of 1,273 ads means the ads were 83% white.

As for the fashion spreads, 3 Asian models out of 65 means 4.6% Asian representation. And despite the efforts of Bazaar, the models were only 6% black.

Charity Cases: How Much Expensive Shit Is In The September Ladymags?

Dodai — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:20:00 EDT

As you know, we've been adding up the items in the thick September issues of the major women's magazines. And the extravagance is really quite vulgar! So far we've seen a $135,000 Louis Vuitton diamond-encrusted watch, a Chanel dress which would set one back $17,355 and a Fendi 24K-gold mink coat for $64,300. All this conspicuous consumption has given us an idea, with an urge to give back. And so, we present to you: A contest. Not just any contest! A conscience-clearing contest! Here's the deal:

We'll be adding up all of the totals from all of the major September mags (Elle, Vogue, Bazaar, Lucky, Glamour, Marie Claire, W, and Allure) into one whopping sum. (So far, Elle's Total Shit: $1,562,100 and Vogue's Total Shit: $957,687.)

The reader who can predict the final total dollar amount — without going over — will win a $200 donation to the charity of her or his choice. You may submit your guesses in the comments, and you have until 12 noon tomorrow, EDT.

Good luck, and remember: Mink. Dipped in gold.

Earlier: September Smackdown: Elle Vs. Vogue

September Smackdown: Elle Vs. Vogue

Anna N. — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Last year we treated you to cage-matches between the behemoth September issues of the major women's magazines. The winner: whichever bloated publication has the most expensive shit festering between its pages. The prize: our loathing. This year's first bout, officiated by myself and Intern Margaret, is between stylish sumo wrestler Elle (clocking in at 636 pages)and snooty superheavyweight Vogue (798 pages). Now that the Olympics are over, check out as these two try to pin each other to the (diamond-encrusted) mat.

Elle

Apparel: $573,038 (most expensive item: Chanel dress, $17,355; least expensive: Express t-shirt $17; average price: $1,897)

Accessories: $967,092 (most expensive item: Louis Vuitton diamond-encrusted watch, $135,000; least expensive: Payless pump, $28; average price: $2,671)

Beauty: $2,227 (most expensive item: Linea Pro C2 Digital Flatiron, $199; least expensive item: tie between Aussie Mega Hairspray and Herbal Essences Set Me Up Extra Hold Hairspray, both $3; average price: $30)

Other: $19,743 (most expensive item: Alexandra settee, $8,000; least expensive: Mallo cup candies, $1.50; average price: $1,161)

Total Shit: $1,562,100
Average: $2,072

Vogue

Apparel: $704,256 (most expensive item: Fendi 24K-gold mink coat, $64,300; least expensive: Brooks running bra $38; average price: $4,294)

Accessories: $237,889 (most expensive item: Maison Martin Margiela 18K-pink-gold cuff bracelet from Line 12, $18,395; least expensive: Speedo swim cap, $12; average price: $1,441)

Beauty: $107 (most expensive item: Missoni solid fragrance compact on a charm bracelet, $50; least expensive: YSL Gloss Pur in Noir, $28; average price: $36) [Vogue didn't give prices for most beauty products]

Other: $15,435 (most expensive item: [and best caption in the mag]: "Skunk is on reclaimed wood-and-steel table, $5,495, ABC Carpet & Home, NYC"; least expensive: yoga to the People class, suggested donation: $10 per class; average price: $702)

Total Shit: $957,687
Average: $2,705

Elle has Vogue beat in Total Shit, mostly on the strength of its accessories (just try telling time with that diamond-encrusted watch). But Vogue has a mink coat dipped in gold, and everyone knows that with fur AND gold, you just can't lose.

Winner: Vogue

Earlier: Shameless September Ladymags: Elle Vs. Vogue

Elle's "Danger Man" Wants Us To Go On Marriage Strike

Anna N. — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:00:00 EDT

If Philip Nobel were more of an asshole, I would be less depressed right now. When he agreed to talk to me about his Elle article "Danger Man" — an account of leaving his wife for a younger woman which both Tatiana and I criticized last week — I was sort of hoping for an unremitting narcissist whom I could cheerfully skewer. Nobel does have some bad ideas (implying that his detractors are unsophisticated in their judgments), but he also has some good ones (everyone should read the divorce code before they get married). And his thoughts about marriage and relationships are the same ones lots of learned men and women have been touting lately. Thing is, these thoughts need some serious work.

We started off talking about the article itself, which he says he wrote at the suggestion of Elle editor Amy Goldwasser. Other than what he calls "the little Jezebel shitstorm," he says responses have been mostly positive. A female friend of his told him that his detractors were just afraid, that "the mammal brain's first response is 'Oh fuck, that could happen to me.'" Which, to be fair, is true. Lots of women are afraid of getting dumped for a younger model, and when someone does this, we're not exactly going to be thrilled.

But if that someone is our friend, Nobel thinks we owe him a little more. "The only thing I wanted was to be treated as me," he says, "to be treated as an individual case." He also says that those who thought his actions were classic untrustworthy male behavior were themselves reverting to cliché, lapsing into a "limited way of looking at the world, one that doesn't allow for humanity."

Of course, it's entirely possible that Nobel's friends actually did see him as him, and just didn't like who he'd become. There's a whole post in Nobel's reactions to his friends' reactions, but we wrote that post last week. What's more interesting — and more troubling — is Nobel's view that "there's a poor fit between societal institutions and biological fact." He thinks "maybe there's something wrong at the structural level with the whole idea of state-sanctioned monogamy" if so many people have trouble sticking with it. It's not a new idea, but Nobel takes it to sort of a new place, suggesting that Jezebel spearhead a "marriage strike until the institution could be fixed."

"What would fix it?" I asked him.

He said it wasn't "the introduction of loopholes that would allow infidelity," but as to what the solution actually was, he was more vague. He mentioned the need for a "critical discussion," the fact that marriage is not a panacea, the fact that the happiest couples he knows seem to live apart. But he also said, "I believe in love, and I believe in children, and I believe in commitments, and I believe in lifetime commitments."

The guy is a cynic and a romantic! And he's not alone. It's hip to criticize modern marriage, to state, as Nobel does, that the conflation of childrearing with "romantic love and all matters of the heart and mind is a relatively recent societal occurrence." Esther Perel says exactly that in her 2006 interview with Salon; Susan Squire makes a similar claim in her new book I Don't.

But both of those women are married, and it's certainly not yet hip to forgo marriage entirely. Nor is anyone offering us any particularly good ways to decouple love and child rearing, or excitement and commitment, or emotions and economics, or any of the other potentially conflicting aspects of modern American marriage. What we're left with is just what Nobel's friend identified: fear. Fear that we'll never get married, fear that our marriages will suck, fear that our husbands or wives will leave us, fear that we're doing it all wrong. Nobel doesn't have the solution to any of these fears. I'm sure hoping someone else does, because I for one, am stumped.

Danger Man [Elle]

Earlier: Elle Writer's Ex: "It's A Strange Luxury To See Someone Else's Version Of Your Life"
Elle Writer Didn't Plan To Be The Poster Boy For Male Recklessness

The Betsey Johnson-Anna Nicole Makeout Session Is A Bad Mental Image

Sadie — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:30:00 EDT

We love Betsey Johnson, but we're kind of weirded out by the revelation that she made out with Anna Nicole Smith, like on a Monday in 10th Grade when you hear about some really random hookup from a party over the weekend. "She was wearing one of those dotted net see-through things with roses on her bullet bra underneath . . . It was when she was doing TrimSpa, and she looked really beautiful." Okay, but wouldn't that be around the same time she was doing eating contests on her reality show? Again: to each her own. [Page Six]
Janet Jackson's apparently unironic lingerie line, Pleasure Principle, is out. "The legendary hip-hop and R&B diva teamed with Bruno Schiavi, the Australian lingerie designer behind Dr. Rey’s Shapewear line (named for “Dr. 90210” fixture Dr. Robert Rey), for her debut fashion duet. The 18-piece line is named after the hit single from Jackson’s 1986 multiplatinum album “Control,” is designed to be comfortable for a range of sizes — 32A to 44G, and is crafted of mostly satin and lace." [WWD]
It seems like celebs are always lying about how they're going to wear Project Runway designs, but after guest-judging the Australian iteration, Kelly Rowland's actually making good. "Wearing the custom-made, scalloped outfit on stage at a concert in Cannes, France, a few nights ago, the diva strutted her stuff - which almost brought a tear to the Brisbane designer's eye."She was so lovely and the fact that she has worn my design makes me so proud," Juli Grbac gushed. NB: from the pic, we can kinda see why they usually back out. [News.com.au]

I think we've already expressed that the descriptions of Madonna's upcoming "Sticky & Sweet" tour are seriously depressing us. This doesn't help. "The Sticky & Sweet tour, which opens in Cardiff on Saturday, features an intriguing mix of gangsta pimp, dominatrix and gipsy costumes. And with looks designed by Givenchy's Ricardo Tisci, shoes by Miu Miu, thigh-high boots custom-made by Stella McCartney and sundry items from Yves Saint Laurent and Roberto Cavalli, it leaves no fashion stone unturned." [Telegraph]
Kids aren't the only ones spending less on back-to-school; apparently teachers are some of the "hardest hit" by the recession. "Teachers from across the country are reporting they are spending less on clothes, waiting for sales and sometimes changing where they shop — even after some taking summer jobs to offset the increasing cost of living, according to an informal survey by WWD." [WWD]
Nina Garcia "reveals" her list of top-ten "essentials." Spoiler: a little black dress is one of them. [Dallas News]
Olympic committee rules make uniform expression a challenge: "Because country names on the front must be written in the Latin alphabet, countries like China compensate by using Chinese characters on the back. Flags and sponsor logos must be in a certain place and a certain size. The colors are regulated." [NYT]
Speaking of rules, official sponsor Nike has been forced to let Speedo make the games' swim suits; seems the banana hammocks are just more efficient. "The apparent benefit of the LZR, which has a novel hydrodynamic construction that compresses the body into a tube, reducing drag while at the same time improving muscle performance, became apparent in national Olympic trials." [Times of Times]
Teeny tiny Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth loves her some Armani: '"They really came though for me, and I'm a die-hard fan," she gushes. "After [the Oscars] were over, he sent me six dozen long-stemmed white roses with a really beautiful letter that said, 'Thank you so much' and 'I wanna dress you all the time.' " [Yahoo]
Following Moe's profile of the editrix feuding at Elle, New York defends the story's integrity: "Maureen's story drew on many reliable sources — some on the record, and some on background. We stand by its accuracy." [WWD]
Wait, so they don't just wear them to look hot? Holly McPeak explains that bikinis are more comfortable for beach volleyball: "You don't have an issue of sweat and sand collecting in places that you don't want it to," she says. "It really is the most functional uniform for beach volleyball." Thank you, we'd assumed that. [NPR]
Heidi Klum's new ads for her Jordache collection - ripping off Heidi Montag? We're gonna go with, no. [Yahoo]
Although the study is not conclusive, seems the rich are indeed different - or at least richer. Sales aren't flagging at all on Rodeo Drive. [LAT]
Speaking of the rich — or at any rate, the titled — peers in the House of Lords have called for a moratorium on the waste culture that is fast fashion. No commentary required. [Daily Mail]
Does Steve Carrell's wardrobe make the movie? Um, not really. [Guardian]
Hayden Panettiere's mother apparently prepared to hawk her daughter's undies for charity. She didn't, though. [The Sun]
Sweater company Lutz + Patmos, who in the past have done lines with random celebrities like Kirsten Dunst and Liv Tyler, is collaborating with Jane Birkin, who — if equally unqualified — is, at least, unassailably cool. [Nylon]

September Elle Promises Beauty, Delivers Bathrobes

Anna N. — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 13:00:00 EDT

It's not that all the products on display in this month's Elle are bad — it's just that the bad ones are so awful. Elle's blessings fall on such unworthy items as a $2,800 coat looks like a bathrobe, a patent leather cowboy hat, and some African-inspired jewelry from a known and longtime Africa-exploiting company. There's also a terrifying medieval apparatus that lets you roll sharp needles all over your face... for just $118. This is supposed to make you pretty, but, like Elle, it just freaks us out. This month's cover features Jessica Simpson, whom you may remember from March 2007, or from September 2004. Our version, after the jump.

You Wanna Be On Top

Dodai — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:30:00 EDT

Do yourself a favor and read "America’s Next Top Fashion Editor," Moe Tkacik's story in this week's New York magazine. It's the epic tale of Nina Garcia, Anne Slowey, Elle, Project Runway and the new CW show Stylista (starring Elle fashion editor Slowey). Plus! The appeal of fashion-related reality TV, "the crack rock of programming." You'll learn the differences between Garcia and Slowey (closets: "Slowey’s is small, East Village, overflowing with vintage finds; Garcia’s is cavernous, color-coded, and situated in an apartment overlooking Central Park.") as well as the events surrounding Garcia's departure from Elle. (She's now at Marie Claire.) As for Stylista, which premieres in October? Anne Slowey says: "I don’t even know what reality is anymore." [New York Magazine]