• Bucking the recession, Elle MacPherson's labradoodle, Bella, has been signed as the body of canine fashion line Dogside.com, for a "substantial five-figure sum." [Telegraph]
• Anna Wintour wears dress twice! The sky is falling! [Styleist]
• And she wants privacy. Sorry. [NYPost]

• Propr, the inexplicable fashion collaboration between Ben Harper and David Arquette, is opening a pop-up shop in New York."Color influences me," says Arquette. [WWD]
• Amber Valetta likes the Real America: "Oklahoma people are good people, they're friendly people. Sure, there's the coasts, but when you go to the middle, it's the real deal. You get a feeling of what's really going on in America. People are having a hard time.… but it is a place with beautiful light and crazy thunderstorms. My son loves it there and we try to give him similar experiences to what we had, playing in the creek with our cousins." [Telegraph]
• And back on the coasts (presumably) Valetta's in a fab Hedi Slimane-shot spread for V Magazine. [Fabsugar]
• Meanwhile, Jessica Simpson has landed the windows at Macy's. Quoth the polymath of the Miracle on 34th Street: "It's a total thrill for me. I feel privileged just to be in business with such an iconic store...And it is an honor to know that Macy's respects and believes in my brand so much that they chose to feature the Fall collection in the windows at one of their flagship stores! WOW…I feel blessed." [People]
• TopShop is getting into makeup. [WWD]
• In honor of London Fashion Week, Jenny Dyson, the publisher of Rubbish Magazine, is introducing "fashion week finger puppets," including Miuccia Prada, André Leon Talley, Vivienne Westwood, and, obviously, Karl Lagerfeld, presumably worn on one's middle finger. [NYT]
• Is it a sign of economic turnaround that Lee Jeans has opened its first store, ever? [WWD]
• We're guessing the fact that "fleece" and "underwear" are the biggest economic performers is a sign of just the opposite. [WWD]
• Perhaps inevitably, American Eagle, the small-man-on-campus' Abercrombie, is also down. [WSJ]
• And, uh oh: "The American waistline may be expanding, but plus-size shoppers are tightening their belts." You determine what the "uh oh" refers to. [MSNBC]
• Speaking of word games, we're still puzzling over what the hell this description of Tim Gunn means: "Anyone with such proper command of the English language should be a spendthrift, right?" Wait, what? [Houston Chronicle]
• And speaking of (encouraging) mysteries: Guess? is way up. [WWD]
• Alexander Wang's muses: "The shoes are named after models — Lara, Hanne, Racquel — but the bags are named after TV show characters. We have the Brenda and Kelly [90210], the Dorothy shopper [The Golden Girls] and the Trudy [Miami Vice]. They're all the shows that used to be on TV when I was growing up." [W]
• Despite its excited "we're getting things done!" music, this star-filled PSA for "Fashion's Night Out" just confuses us. [Style.com]
• Maybe because it's been a while since we heard Diddy rap? [<a href="http://www.style.com/stylefile/2009/08/and-now-an-important-message-from-sean-combs-and-co/">StyleFile]
• Speaking of TCB, innovative fashion site Polyvore.com is going gangbusters: recently they've hosted digital campaigns for Nike and Gap and boosted their capital. [AdAge]
• In an attempt to get residents to buckle up for safety, Dubai is asking designers to help them make seatbelts chic. We find logos help. [Racked]
• Also: Andre Leon Talley wears Uggs. "It's a cozy shoe. Also, they're only $98." [Time Out New York]

[New York, August 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• We never thought of Lady Gaga's style as something one should actually seek to take credit for, but Roisin Murphy apparently feels differently. [Refinery29]

• Katie Holmes' clothing line, which she designs with her stylist, Jeannie Yang, is ready to launch for fall at Maxfield in Los Angeles. [WWD]
• Mariah Carey's latest scent, Forever, comes out this September. "I am in a wonderful place right now," says the singer, "surrounded by all the things I love, and Forever captures this moment in time." So Forever smells like marriage to a younger man, and something pink? [WWD]
• Also this September, Nanette Lepore is launching her new fragrance, Nanette by Nanette. [WWD]
• Political Science Ph.D. and former Communist Party member Miuccia Prada didn't vote in the last Italian elections, much to her family's chagrin. "My son criticized me. ‘You're not coming? You're not going to vote?' So I have to justify. Of course, because I always taught them principles and the idea of [the importance of] politics, if they see in myself a false step, they become...I know it was wrong. I should have gone." Speaking of false steps, Prada also said, of the many model tumbles that marred her Spring/Summer '09 show, which featured her impossible-to-walk-in shoes, "I liked it. It made the show more interesting." A hypocrite with a missing compassion chip? Our Miuccia Prada crush is rapidly dissipating. [W]
• Crocs apparently thinks that by selling what amounts to a rubber clog for your cell phone, it can save its business. Interesting. [InventorSpot]
• For some reason, somebody put Andy Warhol screenprints of dollar signs on a unisex perfume. People will license anything that isn't nailed down in this world. [WWD]
• Whitney Port made an awful, frosted pink lipstick that looks like what your slutty cousin wore in 1983. Even the fact that $2 from the sale price goes to charity isn't enough to stop us hating. [People]
  
• Covergirl is seeking more brand prestige. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik loves boots. Loves them. And skirts, which he'd wear if he were a woman. "Every year I have lots of boots in my collection. This year I have chosen something a little extreme — a paper-flat sole with lots of big buckles. I love this look – it makes me think of old films, of Margaret Lockwood, or crinolines. I love the look of a very long skirt with these paper-flat boots. Women in winter must wear very high or very flat boots, it's so chic — forget your pumps. Long skirts are a must in women's wardrobes, although you don't see many of them these days. It's what I would wear, though. Every year I have done over-the-knee boots. One year they were so high you could tie them to your belt — Elle Macpherson in that was so sexy." [Independent]
• Bloomingdale's is spending $55 million on a two-month renovation of its 60,000 sq. foot main sales floor. [WWD]
• Stella McCartney is opening a pop-up store in the Hamptons. All the better that we never see what we could never afford. [WWD]
• Oh, look. Gap gave certain fashion bloggers free jeans. And then certain fashion bloggers wrote about how awesome Gap's jeans are. Odd coincidence! We're sure the failure to disclose the freebie was simply an oversight. [Fashionista]
• Although retail spending was down 12.7% during the back-to-school period, compared with last year, spending on denim was relatively well-performing. Even sales-hemorrhaging Abercrombie & Fitch has seen its denim remain popular. [TS]
• Swatch reported a 28% drop in profits for the first half of this year, to 301 million Swiss Francs. Sales fell 15.3% on last year. [WSJ]
• Elizabeth Arden's sales for the last quarter, like pretty much everybody else's, slipped. The company lost $3.6 million. [WWD]
• JC Penney's quarterly results were not as bad as analysts had expected. The company lost $1 million, compared with earning a profit of $117 million for the same period last year. [NYTimes]
• The Hemline Index never made any sense to begin with. The Lipstick Bellwether sounded good, but wasn't true. The Heel Height Indicator came into vogue briefly, like platform shoes (which by the way weren't invented during the Great Depression). Of all the hokey, jokey faux-economic indicators — most of which, you might notice, are female-linked, probably because of undying cultural stereotypes about women and shopping — the so-called Men's Underwear Index is obviously our favorite. It just will not die! [PhilInquirer]

• Paula Abdul will not return to American Idol. This announcement comes via her Twitter. She wrote:

"With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to #IDOL. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all I'll miss being a part of a show that I helped from day1 become an international phenomenon. What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me… It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month… I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire world and I love you all." She was reportedly looking for as much as $20 million to continue with the show, but producers were recently heard talking up new host Kara DioGuardi (who has already signed on for another season, along with Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest). [Variety]

• First we heard that Penelope Cruz might be knocked up, then we heard she quit smoking, and now a source says: "Penelope is about four months pregnant." Congrats to Penny and lover Javier Bardem! [Just Jared]
• Thank Zeus: Jennifer Aniston has signed on for a movie we can actually get behind: Goree Girls is about an all-female country band in a Texas prison in the 1940s. [Variety]
• Presented without comment: "A park bench featuring a sculpture of a nude Angelina Jolie with her infant twins is to be unveiled in Oklahoma to promote World Breastfeeding Week." [UPI]
• Madonna's old love letters "borrowed heavily" from Anne Sexton poems. [Page Six]
• Childhood stardom can be tough. Ashley Olsen tells Marie Claire: "[Growing up,] it was almost like I was in the Army. School, work, homework, fly to New York, get in at 2 in the morning, do a morning show at 5 a.m., then another one at 7, then a radio interview at 10." She adds: "I look at Britney, and I'm surprised I didn't end up like her." [Gatecrasher]
• When Jon and Kate Gosselin announced their split, they got great ratings; the new episode's ratings? Crappy. Hence the headline, "Viewers Break Up With 'Jon and Kate.'" [AdAdge]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Jon Gosselin is on the cover of In Touch, saying "I'm tired of being blamed." He says his marriage fell apart in October 2008. "Many people think that everything moved too fast, that I was out partying too quickly. But Kate gave up on the marriage last October, and the divorce will be finalized by Sept. 30." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Robert Pattinson has been voted the sexiest man in the world in a Glamour mag poll in which many of the women were obviously Twihards. [The Star]
• Spotted: Kelly Bensimon and Damages actress Rose Byrne vying for Gerard Butler's attention. "Kelly blocked Gerard from speaking to Rose and was flirting up a storm - but he couldn't have seemed less interested." Gerard found Rose later and took her to a "private corner" to talk. [Gatecrasher]
• Gerard Butler says he got involved in his new romcom because he was always cracking jokes: "I was doing an action movie with the guys who made this and at night we would go to dinner and I would be like 'did you hear the one about this?' and they were like The Ugly Truth." [Mirror]
• Chris Brown will be sentenced for assault today. [AP]
• Elisabeth Moss says she and Mad Men costar Christina Hendricks — who are both getting married soon — are having their cakes made by the same people.
  "We've been exchanging flower information a little bit," she says. "Our weddings are sort of different, but we love talking about it." [People]
• CW programming chief Dawn Ostroff says Mischa Barton is at work on her new show The Beautiful Life and has been "great" and there have been "no issues." Everything is FINE okay? [USA Today]
• According to this report, it's not Mischa the CW producers are worried about, it's Elle Macpherson, her TBL costar, who has a large role, but can't act. [Gatecrasher]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler gets kinda Sopranos-esque in this video, "The Real Housewives of New Jersey with Jamie-Lynn Sigler." Bonus points for "buh-bies." [Funny Or Die]
• The Michael Jackson concert rehearsal footage will be a full-length motion picture… if a probate judge approves the deal by Monday. [AP]
• Joe Jackson, thank you for saying the following: "I do visit the family residence from time to time and will continue to do so, however I will not be involved in raising the children." [AP]
• Administrators of Michael Jackson's estate expect to earn cash from merchandising Jackson-related stuff, which would be good for the kids. [TMZ]
• David and Victoria Beckham MIGHT be moving to a £10million home in Chelsea, London, and here are pictures of the house they COULD live in someday. [Daily Mail]
• Check out Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel in this music video shot to promote (500) Days Of Summer. It's got a '60s look and DANCING! [USA Today, USA Today]
• John Slattery, aka Mad Men's Roger Sterling, may direct an upcoming episode of the AMC show. [LA Times]
• Candy Spelling is still using the media to talk to daughter Tori Spelling. Last week she accused Tori of using her kids as "reality show props"; today she's telling Tori: "I love you, and I always will." [USA Today]
• Daniel Baldwin says of the woman who claims he left her a "hostile" message: "Either she's delusional, can't remember what's going on, or she's psychotic." The woman fired his niece, who is a nanny, and allegedly threatened the niece, saying she would never work in Malibu again. Baldwin says he texted back: "Please don't threaten my niece" and that's it. [E!]
• Former U.S. President Bill Clinton will present filmmaker Steven Spielberg with the 2009 Liberty Medal at a ceremony in Philadelphia. [UPI]
• Jay Leno's new show will have "correspondents" — Brian Williams, Mikey Day, Rachael Harris, D.L. Hughley and Jim Norton. [Page Six]
• Josh Duhamel is in talks to star with Katherine Heigl in Life As We Know It, a romance about two people "whose worlds are turned upside down when their mutual best friends die in an accident and name them as caregivers of their orphaned daughter." Cue parenting goofs, falling in love. [Variety]
• Bam Margera is working it out with his wife, with the help of marriage counseling and meds. [TMZ]
• Johnny Hallyday, the "French Elvis," fell while boarding a yacht on the Riviera last month and dislocated his hip. [Page Six]
• This picture of Whatshername face down getting her ass squeezed while getting a massage is one of the reasons I can't bear to be interested in her. In any case, Whatshisname is hoping for a quickie divorce. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which wacky celeb is certainly no angel when it comes to her hobbies? This hostess holds drawing parties for her gal pals - complete with a nude model and lots of alcohol." [Gatecrasher]
• "Silence is a powerful weapon in drama, "What you don't say and what you don't reveal can be as powerful as what you do say. My intention is to make [the performance] as real as possible but never forgetting that it's actually drama." — Gabriel Byrne, on In Treatment. [LA Times]
• "She comes to L.A. from the Midwest to find her mother [who turns out to be one of the original show's characters, Sydney Andrews, played by Laura Leighton], and all of a sudden she's thrown in with the sharks." — Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, on her Melrose Place character. [WWD]
• "In the music business in the Seventies, girls were beautiful. You were a performer, or you could be a girlfriend or groupie, but you still had to look good. I didn't have the face or the body that opens doors... Not being beautiful was an education. My achievements are down to my looks, or lack of them... I'm not putting myself down, that's the truth." — Sharon Osbourne, who says being "short, fat and hairy" meant she had to "develop a brain and personality and be fun and smart and learn to get on with people and make deals." [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to confirm or deny that. It might jump forward, it might not." -Jon Hamm, on whether the third season of Mad Men takes place two years after the last season ended. [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "A lot of his chickens came home to roost, so to speak. He had a lot of balls in the air, and they all kinda came crashing down as the season progressed. A lot more happens in season three, and there's a lot of change coming his way. Not only in his life, but a lot happens in the culture as well. So far, it's been an amazing season and I can't wait for people to see it." -Jon Hamm, on Don Draper's meltdown last season and how Don recovers (or doesn't). [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "They're fucking nuts. You have to either accept that or you do like me: You get married four times."— James Caan, on women. [Page Six via Men's Journal]
• "My music is a little more edgy so that inspired me to be adventurous. I've never dyed my hair before so this was a pretty drastic change. I've always been known as a brunette but I've been thinking about it for a long time and it kind of just fit with all of the searching with the music and experimenting that I would do the same thing with my look. The look has affected the way I dress, it's inspired me to be more adventurous with what I decide to wear. It's silly that something so simple as changing your hair could have such a big effect. I'm just having fun with it." — Katharine McPhee, on dying her hair blonde. [People]
• "I'm not great [at romance in real life] actually — my husband [musician Josh Kelley] and I have had this argument, I can be but generally I am a little, like, squeamish about being too romantic. I do love a good snuggle, but I don't want to, have to, get all verbally gooey." — Katherine Heigl. [Mirror]
• "I probably seem like not a particularly nice person, not a girl's girl. I think if you put a camera in anyone's life and document it daily for six years, from the age of 21 to 27, there are going to be things that aren't always pretty. Those are the rebellious years, the years of self discovery. I've never been someone who has conformed, and I think my response to that level of attention was to pretend it didn't exist." — Sienna Miller. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm disgusted by him. Here's a guy with eight kids who runs off to 'find himself' — well, he should have found himself a condom." — Joan Rivers on Jon Gosselin. [Page Six]

• Fran Drescher is launching a skincare line — called FranBrand — this fall on HSN. The products are organic and paraben-free, because, as Drescher puts it, "Women are schmearing stuff on their décolleté, wondering why we're all getting breast cancer..."

• "...Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep. So I'm sounding the alarm." Drescher, a survivor of uterine cancer, founded the organization Cancer Schmancer. (And she also taught us to love Loehmann's.) [The Cut]
• As we learned yesterday, London Fog confirmed Gisele Bundchen's pregnancy by the roundabout way of announcing it had airbrushed her 5-6 month belly out of its latest campaign "to protect her privacy." But the outerwear brand also released a behind-the-scenes video of the shoot, which includes footage of the raw, unretouched shots as they appear on the computer monitor. A side-by-side comparison reveals exactly what London Fog thought wouldn't move units this fall. [SassyBella]
• Bar Refaeli is allegedly seeing Israeli multi-millionaire Teddy Sagi. Sagi owns a company that makes software for Internet gambling sites, and the nicest thing the Daily Mail can say about him is that he "has a lovely smile." The supermodel's relationship with Leonardo Di Caprio ended earlier this year. [Daily Mail]
• Liya Kebede addressed the UN Secretary-General's Forum on the topic of maternal health. Writes the supermodel, "In times of economic crisis, it is tempting to turn inward, to ignore or postpone the problems of the outside world and focus on ourselves. But, if we hope to thrive once again, we must realize that there are no outside problems in today's interwoven, globalized world. Each mother who dies leaves behind a devastated family and weakened community that will eventually, somehow, affect each of us. Each mother who dies deepens the financial and social strain on our world and puts economic recovery further away. Mothers are our best stimulus package because they invest in their families and in our collective future." [HuffPo]
• SassyBella unearthed footage of Karen Mulder hosting an E! special in 1999. The Dutch model encounters a new girl, who, when she introduces herself, turns out to be an 18-year-old Adriana Lima. [SassyBella]
• The first pictures of Rad by Rad Hourani, the Canadian designer's diffusion line, are looking pretty good, at least for those who were already fans of Hourani's unisex, pared-down rocker aesthetic. "This is exactly the same thing," as his main line, Hourani confirmed. Only instead of costing thousands of dollars it costs hundreds. We need more of this. [WWD]
• The writer of the sometimes entertaining, sometimes savage, always fascinating fashion blog The Emperor's Old Clothes has revealed himself — as New York designer Eric Gaskins. Gaskins, after 22 years in business, was this week forced to close his doors because of the economy. [NYTimes]
• And in September, Daphne Guinness is releasing a signature scent with Comme des Garçons. Only unlike most celebrity perfumes lines, this is actually the distinctive fragrance Guinness has, herself, been mixing for years. "I'll be in airports or in a taxi and the driver will say, ‘What are you wearing?'" reports the heiress. [WWD]
• Designer Hussein Chalayan is "weirded out" by models with clothing lines, like Kate Moss, Amber Valetta, Erin Wasson, and Elle MacPherson: "If you have a really strong sense of style and people want to aspire to being like you, I can understand that. But if you really are doing it just because you think of yourself as a brand and you haven't had the training and you know nothing about clothes, it kind of demeans all the training that designers have had." Chalayan thought Kate Moss's line for Topshop was a poor effort. "I don't think it represented her, and I didn't think she worked hard enough. I even told her to her face." How did la Moss respond? "She said, ‘Oh, I'm just trying to do a light thing; I'm not trying to do anything serious.' But I said, ‘That's not the point.'" [WWD]
• In which case, add Jessica Stam to the list of models who've raised Chalayan's ire. The Canadian just announced a collaboration with Rag & Bone. [Style.com]
• Vogue's Lauren Santo Domingo, on being told her boss Anna Wintour had worn flats to a party in the Hamptons: "I wonder if that means we can wear flats to the office now?" [The Cut]
• Fashion blind item: "Which fantastical designer has a new man? She's ditched her long term fiance for an artist with prime real estate." We're with the commenters on this: signs point to Erin Fetherston, who hasn't been photographed in public with her longtime fiancé, Hedi Ferjani, since late April. [Fashionista]
• Ali Wise, the Dolce & Gabbana publicist who was arrested for hacking into the voicemail of a woman who was dating Wise's ex boyfriend, is no longer a Dolce & Gabbana employee. Which must seem like the least of her problems: Wise is facing felony charges of computer trespass and eavesdropping. [WWD]
• A well-written parsing of W magazine's cover story on model Lara Stone: "The fashion industry — and, in turn, the fashion media — have such a warped concept of slimness that a model like Lara Stone is so much larger than her contemporaries that they feel the need to explain her presence. If Stone's body is such an outlier, what does that say about the rest of us? Worse, the magazine saw fit to issue the disclaimer that Stone 'is, it should be noted, a very lithe five foot ten.' Why, yes, do note that! As if there's the slightest chance someone is going to look at these photos and think Stone needs to, like, slow down on the Cheetos." [GlossedOver]
• Lagardère, the French publishing company that owns Hachette Filipacchi Media, which owns the U.S. edition of Elle magazine, has denied that it is in talks to sell the title to rival Hearst, as had been reported in yesterday's New York Post. [WWD]
• Scott Nylund, Beyoncé's design director, comes from Owatonna, Minnesota. Which is where you can see an exhibit that spans his earliest childhood sketches of women in dresses, to his college fashion collection, to his creations for Beyoncé. [StarTrib]
• Freja Beha Erichsen says Karl Lagerfeld's house in Vermont — which recently served as the setting for the fall Chanel campaign she starred in with Heidi Mount — is a serious farm. With horses and chickens and — spitting llamas. Erichsen also praised Chanel for providing food backstage at its runway shows, which a lot of brands don't manage to do. [W]
• Fashion Meets Finance, the terrible event for douchebags and gold-diggers, is back. It's happening August 6th in — where else? — Murray Hill. [FMF]
• Will Ferrell has a Nike sneaker coming out in Japan. It's inspired by Anchorman's Ron Burgundy, that lovable asshole we met, uh, five years ago. [HighSnobiety]
• Timberland lost $19.2 million in the last quarter, a worse-than-expected result that came off the back of a 14% drop in sales, to $179.7 million. [WWD]
• Shiseido was even worse off — its profits declined 57.8%. [WWD]
• Likewise Hugo Boss, which lost $21.17 million in the last quarter. [WWD]
• Bare Escentuals profits also slid 20% in the same period. [WWD]
• Competitor Avon's profits fell 64.3% on revenues that shrank by 9.7%. Revlon's sales fell 12.2%, and its total profits declined to just $200,000, from $19.9 million one year earlier. [WWD]
• Bucking this downward trend is Tod's — the Italian leather brand reported a 3.4% increase in sales for this first six months of this year. [WWD]
• Ann Taylor wants to cut $30 to $40 million in costs by "right-sizing" its organization. No word yet on the number of people who will be laid off. [WWD]
• Three members of a multi-million-dollar New York counterfeiting ring received prison sentences, and a fourth was sentenced to probation by a federal judge. Michael Chu, the group's leader, was in 2005 ordered to pay $7 million in damages stemming from an unrelated counterfeiting case involving North Face jackets. This time, Chu, who imported fake Nike, Chanel and Burberry products, was sentenced to prison for just over 8 years. [WWD]

• Filling Lily Donaldson's shoes, Emma Watson, 19, will be the face of Burberry. Said designer Christopher Bailey: "Her charm and intellect and brilliant sense of fun made the whole shoot feel like a picnic on the Thames." [Telegraph]

• Celebrities: They're Better Than Us! Their World Environment Day parties may be sponsored by Lexus and hosted by Stella McCartney's West Hollywood store, but when it gets down to it, their commitment to the greening of the planet is breathtaking: "I grow my own food and I'm trying to figure out how to make my own fuel," remarked Darryl Hannah. Emily Deschanel said she celebrated the day as follows: "I ate vegan meals. I drove my hybrid. I used environmentally efficient lightbulbs. The list is endless." Endless. (What's on your list, huh?) Rosario Dawson, for her part, "didn't use plastic bags at the farmers' market." There are levels of virtue to which we, mere mortals, cannot aspire. [Style.com]
• British accessories designer Lulu Guinness wore a purple dress with googly eyes on it to the 20th anniversary party of her label. We're still waiting to see her make the Hamburgler look hot. [The Cut]
• Elle MacPherson, whose Notting Hill home has been on the market for more than a year without attracting a buyer, has slashed its price by £2 million. The seven-story house is now available at the bargain price of £7.5 million. [Daily Mail]
• Peaches Geldof was apparently having a sleepover with Courtney Love, and decided to Twitter their little tête-à-tête. Including a reference to Love's rumored new clothing line, which, and we repeat the source here is Peaches Geldof's Twitter, supposedly includes such touches as "cotton ribbed body suits," "cashmere harem pants" and "stitching a ruby into every outfit." [Grazia]
• Naming your label "Comme des Garçons" ("Like boys") is one thing, but we never thought that actually meant Rei Kawakubo had anything against women per se. And yet: "I never felt my work had anything to do with being a woman," said the designer. "I am not a feminist. I was never interested in any movement as such. I just decided to make a company built around creation, and with creation as my sword, I could fight the battles I wanted to fight." [IHT]
• Christian Lacroix, who has been designing for the bankrupt fashion house that bears his name without pay for months now, has made the sad announcement that when the company leaves bankruptcy court, all that may remain is a licensing operation. With no couture. (This despite the fact that the lower-priced lines Christian Lacroix Jeans and Bazar were hemorrhaging money, and have already been shut down.) Couture is so much the essence of the Lacroix fashion identity that we shudder to think of the name existing only to brand sunglasses and perfumes, like a revenant. One of his couture clients offered to buy the company and its debts, but Lacroix turned her down. [WWD]
• In a step towards vertical integration, Hermès C.E.O. Patrick Thomas announced the company is now breeding its own crocodiles. Not to release upon its enemies — one chomp and you're dead meat, Prada It-bag — but to speed up their production of exotic skin bags, which fetch up to $48,000, or some of the highest prices of any of their accessories. How are crocodiles farmed, you ask? Very carefully! In separate crates, to stop them biting each other and damaging their hides. "It can take three to four crocodiles to make one of our bags so we are now breeding our own crocodiles on our own farms, mainly in Australia," said Thomas. Hermès' leather goods division has continued to see robust demand for its products during the downturn. The company even added another 50-100 leather workers to its staff of 2,000 France-based craftspeople so far this year. [Reuters]
• Also chasing the tippety-top of the market: Saks Fifth Avenue. The troubled retailer is set to open its $30 million designer showcase floor, which will be filled with the likes of Chanel, Oscar de la Renta, and Armani. No doubt the pieces will be chosen very carefully, to avoid a repeat of last Fall's debacle. [WWD]
• What does an American Apparel store in China look like, you wonder? Just like one in SoHo, only empty. [Racked]
• Starting July 5, Neiman Marcus will shorten the opening hours of half of its 40 stores. [WWD]
• Even after offloading J. Jill to a private equity fund for a quick $75 mill, all is far from well at Talbots. The retailer just announced its quarterly results, and it lost $23.6 million, on the back of same-store sales that fell by 26.9%, during the period ended May 2. It plans to eliminate a full 20% of its workforce. Three hundred and seventy corporate-level workers were already laid off in February. [Forbes]

1. Models Aren't Bitchy To Each Other

This is probably the number one misconception about the industry. No working model would darkly threaten a newbie backstage at a fashion show with breaking "a Jimmy Choo," and nobody would fat-shame a model who couldn't fit into a dress. (A model not fitting into a dress minutes before a show wouldn't actually happen, since every runway look is fitted first to a "looks" model and then to the actual girl who'll wear it prior to the show, but even assuming someone went to their fitting and then gained an inch and a half overnight, even then, the other girls wouldn't act like she'd become invisible.) Every single one of us has in the past been found too fat in the eyes of certain clients, and every single one of us will be found physically lacking in the future, too, for as long as we stay in this industry — and what that shared reality actually builds is empathy, not derision. Once last season a designer I was working for said, aghast, "What are you, like a size two?" And as soon as the designer had left, the other girls doing their fittings both shot me looks of exasperation, resignation, and common frustration. That is what it's like, CW. Models are some of the most collegial coworkers I've ever been privileged to know.

2. Mischa Barton's Underpants

Are clearly black with leopard spots, and not a thong. In this job, those comfortable in a nude g-string need only apply. Anything more is unprofessional, for the simple reason that it might show through, or affect the lines of, the garment. Also: Where the hell is this grand backstage area, with its curtains that one can swish through so dramatically, and so privately? I want to work there, because the reality of an open warren of makeup tables and clothing racks prowled by backstage photographers who live for the model-in-a-state-of-undress shot is so comparatively unglamorous.

3. A Model Gets On Zac Posen's Runway And Freezes

We already know what Zac does when a model goes off-script in a show. (He handles perceived insubordination about as well as David O Russell.)

4. Mischa Barton Is Already Wearing Makeup On Her Way To The Fashion Show

Sure, it's television, she has to wear something on her face — going without any makeup at all would be a tad too much verisimilitude for the CW network's soapy, softly-lit tastes. But why not give her a natural looking base and some mascara? Nobody goes to a show wearing her own makeup, let alone smoky black InDaClub eyeliner and shadow out to her temples, because it's just going to get taken off. And with a burning, stinging, rough-as-hell M.A.C. wipe to boot. (I once had a makeup artist tell me he wouldn't wipe his floor with a M.A.C. wipe, even as he held a box of them out to me.) Models wear inches of makeup when we work — and fashion week mandates constant shoveling on and scraping off — so we all like to let our skin be as untouched as possible when we have the option. Plus, she's wearing nailpolish. Unless it's from another show that you have just come from — and from what I gather of the "plot" here, Barton's character is some hot-shot model on her comeback, rushing to the show straight from JFK — that's a no-no. Your hair, skin and nails belong to the client for the duration of the job, and all had better show up clean and product-free.

One Thing It Gets Right:

A model with a penchant for uppers: how I wish that didn't sound familiar. Unfortunately, an Adderall and an apple a day make you feel like you can take on the world. And as long as some designers will balk at dressing "a size two," there'll be demand for that particular feeling of unhungry energy.

The Beautiful Life: This Fall On The CW [YouTube]

• In your daily back-to-bed moment of despair for Western culture, Heidi Montag has become a bathing suit designer. [E! Online]
• Elle MacPherson reportedly shops at Toys in Babeland. Unless there's some other "toy" store near Schiller's. [FWD]

• Claire Robinson, a former model and Canadian beauty queen, is suing her former acting agent, Jack Gilardi, and management company, Los Angeles's ICM. Robinson alleges that Gilardi's friend John Rockwell raped her in 2008, and that Gilardi himself touched her inappropriately in the back of a limousine. Robinson's class-action suit also will challenge the legality of an entertainment industry practice known as hip-pocketing — which I actually had to Google, because as it turns out there is an indignity that models are not subjected to — and will seek to designate ICM, one of the world's biggest talent agencies, under the RICO statute. Robinson claims that being hip-pocketed left her and others sexually vulnerable to their agents. She also says Gilardi and ICM sent her on fake auditions, or auditions for jobs for which they knew she was not qualified. In addition to actual damages for what she says is her ruined career, Robinson and any women who join her class action are seeking punitive damages to the tune of 10% of ICM's gross earnings for one year. ICM denied any and all wrongdoing through a spokeswoman. [AP]
• Calvin Klein finally won approval to tear down his 50,000 square foot castle in the Hamptons. The $5 million beach behemoth was originally built as a much smaller structure in the 1920s, and then renovated and expanded into something that looks like a Disneyland ride you'd take on shrooms by an eccentric junk-bonds billionaire in the 80s. Klein's new home will be a comparatively modest 17,000 square feet. [Newsday]
• Blind items: "Which unhinged, avant-garde downtown NYC designer is rumored to be in the running for a top job at Escada? Talk about non-traditional casting." And: "Which super-famous European supermodel fired her NYC apartment-sitter when she came home after an international job and found a condom at the foot of her bed?" [Stylelist]
• Whoa. Marvel Comics is creating a series called Models Inc., featuring some of their more fashionable superheroes — plus a cartoon Tim Gunn. He saves fashion from evildoers. [NY Times]
• Aboriginal artist Gloria Petyarr has designed a scarf for Hermès. Petyarr, who lives in a remote community 250 km from Alice Springs and has no access to a telephone, was paid a "substantial fee" according to an Australian gallerist known to the artist, and would earn royalties from sales of the scarf for 75 years. Her design features medicinal plants used by Aboriginal peoples. [Reuters]
• The bankrupt men's wear giant Hartmarx, which owns the brands Hickey Freeman and Hart Schaffner Marx (Barack Obama's suit brand), may have found a savior in the London-based private investment firm Emerisque. Emerisque is said to be offering to keep the chain in operation and give 80 cents on the dollar to Wells Fargo, Hartmarx's $100 million-plus creditor. Union leaders at Hartmarx's Chicago factory have threatened to sit in if Wells Fargo accepts a buyer who will liquidate the business. Negotiations are ongoing. [NY Times]
• Ann Taylor is dabbling in a little self-blame for poor sales results. CEO Kay Krill described some of the chain's troubles as "self-inflicted," saying "the product assortment was not compelling or relevant." Beats the old "it's the economy" excuse. And they're revamping their product lines to address it. [WSJ]
• Limited Brands suffered a 92% plunge in first-quarter earnings. Sales dropped 10% overall, and same-store sales fell 7%, which means that new stores opened in the past year actually did worse than their established counterparts. The company offered little explanation for the disastrous results in its one-page quarterly statement. [The Street]
• Andreas Ortiz, the man who runs Technical Garment USA, a small garment factory in the fashion district which was raided by the New York State Department of Labor last month, denies his business is a sweatshop. Ortiz is accused of failing to pay overtime and violating legal employee rest times. Two employees interviewed in Ortiz's presence claimed to earn $10 an hour, and to be paid on time. [NY Times]
• Agyness Deyn, new face of Uniqlo, is in this cute ad spot for the Japanese brand. [Grazia]

• Eva Mendes, along with male model Jamie Dornan, are confirmed as the fall faces of Calvin Klein Jeans and Calvin Klein Underwear. Steven Klein shot the campaigns. [WWD]

• At last night's Met ball, seven models and one designer were conspicuously absent. Azzedine Alaïa, the diminutive Tunisian-born designer whose relationship with his models, particularly the mega-famous 80s/90s supes, is so deep that most of them call him "papa," was not asked to be part of the Met's exhibition, themed "The Model as Muse." Because, explains curator Harold Koda, he assumed, without even checking, that Alaïa would not want to be in the exhibit. Although Alaïa made and fitted dresses for models including Stephanie Seymour, Naomi Campbell (who has been his muse for 23 years), Veronica Webb, and Linda Evangelista to attend the exhibit opening, when he found out that none of his work would be represented at the museum, he asked all his models not to attend. Which they were more than happy to do. "Azzedine has made my dress for every single ball," said Seymour. "I will still make my donation to the Met, but I won't be going." Koda, ball organizer Anna Wintour, and co-chair Marc Jacobs, whose company is sponsoring the event, are all very sorry indeed that the designer who has perhaps the most enduring links of all with his model-muses will not be included in the show about designers, models, and muses. But none of them admit a whit of responsibility, which leads me to point out here, that Azzedine Alaïa, like Dries van Noten and a handful of other successful designers, doesn't produce campaigns. Armani and Versace, the two designers who dominate the 80s section of the exhibit, regularly lavish Vogue with their advertising dollars. [On The Runway & On The Runway]
• Of the event itself, the Times writes: "Asked how she felt about being a museum-worthy muse, Ms. Moss shrugged and pulled a big piece of gum out of her mouth. 'I'm amused,' she said. 'I think it's quite interesting for somebody to go outside of the box and think that a model actually has had some input into fashion. A lot of the time, the models don't really get a say.'" [NY Times]
• Significantly more enthusiastic was André Leon Talley, who, upon his first sighting of Moss, was heard to shriek "Goddess!" [WWD Twitter]
• Today, Chanel launches its new ad for its No. 5 perfume, a video by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, starring Audrey Tautou. In honor of the momentous occasion, the stretch of Fifth Avenue that borders Saks will be renamed "Avenue No 5" and the department store's windows will be dressed to celebrate the ad. [Racked]
• Jason Wu gives New York magazine a tour of the modest West 37th St. one-bedroom, decorated all in gray, that his family bought him after he moved to New York. The designer relaxes by cooking dinners for his friends. In between, he clears off the kitchen bench to design his FAO Schwartz range of dolls. [NYMag]
• Elle MacPherson's style icons are Steve McQueen and Katharine Hepburn. She also name-drops Banjo and Matilda cashmere, "an Australian brand," without specifying that it's owned by her brother and sister-in-law. [Independent]
• Marc Jacobs: "If you have five minutes free in New York, you're a failure. If you have five minutes free in Paris, you're a success." [Glamour]
• Stella McCartney has been making appearances at Barneys left and right; she's doing two more before the week is out. And her 23-piece collection for Net-a-porter goes on sale today. [WWD]
• Miuccia Prada loves her Carston Höller office slide, contemporary art, and Earl Grey tea. And being different. "I always want to be different, as a way to progress. At the beginning, I wanted to make a soft bag out of stiff leather. I wanted to make rich materials look poor, and poor materials look rich. Always there was something disturbing. In the end, that's probably why people like Prada." [Telegraph]
• American Apparel's witness list for its upcoming court date with Woody Allen includes Allen's ex, Mia Farrow, his current wife and Farrow's adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn, and Larry Flynt. [Reuters]
• Conflicting reports about Liz Claiborne today: while just last week Racked was reporting that, gee, an awful lot of the new Isaac Mizrahi-designed clothes seemed to be already needing heavy discounts on the website to move, today, Goldman Sachs upgraded the stock to a "buy," partly due to the company's leaner inventories. Share prices rose 30%, to $6.46, following the news. [Crain's]
• In this economy, retailers are trying "positive thinking." Because it's all they have left! Ha ha, I'm kidding. But only a little. [WWD]
• Adidas needs to save 100 million Euros this year. To that end, it's closing regional offices in Europe and Asia, and has not ruled out shutting retail stores. [NY Times]
• J. Crew's children's line, Crewcuts, now has its own standalone catalog. [WWD]
• Estée Lauder's profits fell 70% in the third quarter, so now they're touting the brand as a good option for bargain-hunters. There'll be more free services at the cosmetics counter, and smaller-size products that'll be priced to scale. But probably still expensive. [WSJ]
• Kathy Ireland thinks the media obsession with women's bodies is ridiculous, and that the focus on how we look, as opposed to our health, is misdirected. Because bodies are for living in, not looking at. "Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes, ages and colors," Ireland told Larry King. "With my weight gain, people wanted to know, Well, when is she going to squeeze back into a bikini? No. That is not what it's about. But what people weren't asking me [was], What's the triglyceride level? What is the C reactive protein?...Heart disease is the number one killer of women in America." [CNN]

• Confirmed: Madonna will do the Louis Vuitton fall campaign. With Jesus Luz? I imagine LVMH execs did a pro/con weighing the headline value against the risk that Madge would dump her boytoy ere September. [Grazia]

• No pesky swine flu pandemic threat level five business will put the fear into superstylist/downtown savant/Socrates afficionado Pat Field. When asked if she was afraid of the illness, she replied, "No. We're in America and we don't give a shit about anything." [The Cut]
• Frenchie actress and hobbyist 9/11 conspiracy theorist Marion Cotillard, new face of Lady Dior, will, unsurprisingly, wear Dior to the Met ball on Monday. [WWD]
• Fashionologie has an excellent roundup of the Met ball news, from which designers are sitting this year out due to the cost, to who's taking whom as a date. [Fashionologie]
• Michelle Obama's March Vogue cover was a top-selling issue, moving 560,000 copies on the newsstand, which is 1,000 more than 2008's best-seller, the September issue. [WWD]
• Elle MacPherson designed a cashmere sweater for her sister-in-law's line, Banjo & Matilda. It costs $499 Australian. [British Vogue]
• Behnaz Sarafpour went to Saudi Arabia to show her line in a trunk show (organized by a princess and attended by women only, naturally) and the designer reports that it is totally an underrated holiday destination. "I even got to ride a camel for the first time!!! Very Lawrence of Arabia!!!" [WWD]
• The launch party for Matthew Williamson's H&M line doubled as a booze cruise. Only unlike your pre-recession enforced-jollity work do, his had Grace Jones performing. [Style.com]
• And a pants-less Chanel Iman. [The Cut]
• Sophie Dahl: "When you've got big bosoms and a really big bottom it's difficult to get dressed. You end up looking slightly pornographic in everything. But it's nice to be able to get into jeans and a T-shirt and not have your breasts do the talking." [Daily Express]
• V's take on a swimsuit issue looks like a winner. Six different models on the cover, including a sizzling Naomi Campbell, shot against a yellow background. Campbell marks her 25th year in the industry this year, so naturally, she's hinting about a retirement. That'll never stick. [Daily Mail]
• Francisco Costa is going to be on Martha Stewart's show tomorrow. [WWD]
• Kenneth Cole is going to be a commencement speaker at Northeastern University. Wanna take odds on 30 continuous minutes of puns? [FWD]
• A collection of Christian Lacroix's couture theater and opera costumes is being shown in Singapore — the first exhibition of the French designer's work outside France. Patsy would just die to be there. [Dazed Digital]
• Under Armour is recalling 211,000 athletic cups. Because they come from a batch that "can break if hit, posing a serious injury hazard to athletes." [BlackBook]
• An awful lot of Isaac Mizrahi's recently-released first collection for mass-market retailer Liz Claiborne has already been discounted, notes Racked. [Racked ]
• Hugo Boss's net profits shrank by 2% in the first quarter of 2009. [WWD]
• Men's Wearhouse just discovered its own long-existing Prom Rep program — a kind of Tupperware Party of tux rental, with "referrals" and "rewards" for customers willing to transform themselves into vectors of corporate marketing with a target lock on their friends — is perfect for the Twittered, Facebooked, atomized high school world of now. Isn't that nice. [BrandWeek]

[London, April 27. Image via WENN]

• Vogue subscribers are lured with a free-gift gimmick that looks...different when it comes in the mail. Of course, subscribing to Vogue is basically scheduling disappointment monthly, but the bait-and-switch is not normally so overt. [NYPost]

• Natalie Portman would very much like to tell you about some t-shirt brand she likes. Band tees are a great way of learning about music, see! [Daily Beast]
• Lauren Hutton might miss the Met ball, which is themed around models this year, because a young surfer accidentally rammed his board into her knee in Hawaii, causing ligament damage. "The only thing that's holding our foreleg bones attached to our thigh bones are these little ligaments around the knee," said Hutton. "And once they go, the bones fall sideways inside the bag of skin. It was like one of those Halloween skeletons." The supermodel, currently in LA, cannot walk without crutches. Her date, Michael Kors, will probably understand if she stays home. [Daily Intel]
• Fellow famously made-up face Isabella Rossellini is pretty sure Lancôme regrets dumping her back in 1995 for being soooooo old. But she made her money and now does videos about the sex lives of animals. Lancôme contents itself with Rossellini's daughter, Elettra Wiedemann. [WWD]
• "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" designer Anya Hindmarch says, "Accessories are how women accent their character; they are a form of self-expression. If you see someone carrying a tatty, beaten-up handbag, full of crumbs, doesn't it kind of make you wonder if their house is just like that, too?" She would say that, wouldn't she? [Telegraph]
• Adriana Lima, the Brazilian model best known for wearing giant wings and Bedazzled bras for Victoria's Secret and looking hot on the covers of men's magazines, stunned when she walked for Givenchy in Paris. (Normally, the fashion industry likes to draw as bright a line as possible between camp and the "real" stuff.) Could she be working herself out from under the taint of commercial lingerie to take on a Givenchy campaign for fall? And does that mean Lima is transforming into a Gisele-style double threat, who magically gets bookings for Dior and drugstore makeup at the same time? [Fashionologie]
• Hudson St. in New York's West Village has 15 empty storefronts on one six-block stretch — and, like, 14 Marc Jacobs, Marc by Marc Jacobs, and Ralph Lauren shops. Some see a connection: one retailer, who did not want to be named, said that when businesses' leases turn over, landlords are asking for steep increases in rent, because the high-end retailers are able to pay up to $60,000/month. "They are killing the Village," the man said. "Ten years ago — mom-and-pop stores gone, restaurants gone, they're all gone." [The Villager]
• Tao Okamoto, the hot "new" Japanese model with the interesting haircut, bagged the Fall Ralph Lauren campaign — and, according to rumor, the Fall ads for the Polo Ralph Lauren line, too. [Style.com]
• Nadja Swarovski, scion of the Austrian crystal concern, is a pretty brilliant businesswoman who's taken her family's product from an icon of kitsch to the raw material of fashion's avant garde. But that's not what makes this profile writer like her: the fact that she feels she doesn't see her kids often enough ("much as one rushes to reassure, she is probably right," notes the Times) is the chink in the armor that lets her feel comfortably pitying. The profile is sprinkled with German words, but unfortunately Schadenfreude is not one of them, so let me insert it here. [Times of London]
• Robin Givhan writes this week about the Museum at FIT's announcement of its upcoming Isabel Toledo exhibit, and the question of fashion exhibits in general. The most popular clothing shows are inevitably those organized around a celebrity name, like Jackie O's at the Met; "It's an ongoing battle," Givhan writes, "in fashion exhibitions: the scholarly preference for the clothes to stand on their own and the public fascination with the back story." [WaPo]
• Stila, the makeup brand recently rumored to be facing bankruptcy, has been saved at the 11th hour by a New York private-equity firm. Patriarch Partners will acquire the brand from Wachovia and CIT Group, the banks that took Stila over after it defaulted on debt obligations. [WSJ]
• Filene's Basement is in a similarly dire position — facing bankruptcy and courting buyers. The discount chain closed 11 stores in January, but its parent company said Friday that the cost-cutting moves are "not likely to lead to sustainable operations for Filene's Basement." How is it possible that "it's like a department store, but everything's on sale" is a failing business model at this juncture? [Crain's]
• Valentino's operating profits fell 7% in 2008, the year its founder and namesake retired. [WWD]
• J. Crew opened a beach-themed store in Malibu. [LA Times]
• Headstrong model Elle MacPherson popped home to Sydney for Easter, and made a supermarket deli worker come out from behind the counter to load her cart. Then she snapped at a gossip columnist and micro-managed a television appearance. [News.com.au]

• 80s supermodel-turned-businesswoman Elle MacPherson will star in the CW's Beautiful as an 80s supermodel-turned-businesswoman. The show revolves around models living in agency housing. It'll be MacPherson's first television gig since her stint on Friends. [THR]

• Barack Obama started wearing a Jorg Gray wristwatch instead of his Tag Heuer — and the private label, which had only been marketed on the corporate gifts market, promptly launched Barackswatch.com to make the best of the endorsement. Stay classy, Jorg Gray! [WWD]
• Robin Givhan, longtime Washington Post fashion critic, is departing New York City for Washington in order to cover the First Family beat. She'll still write a weekly column on fashion, but in her new surroundings, the scope will widen to include "politician[s] looking especially appalling." [WWD]
• Anna Wintour, who has always been a strong supporter of designer Olivier Theyskens, lashes out at Puig fashion group in her April editor's letter. Puig fired Theyskens before his contract with the house of Nina Ricci was even up. Of course, Wintour's support doesn't mean Theyskens will automatically ascend to a similarly good position: Phoebe Philo, who left Chloé in 2005, has always enjoyed Wintour's good graces, and she's only just about to settle into a design role at Celine now. [FWD]
• Jessica Joffe is going to be in Katy Rodriguez's fall campaign. [Vogue UK]
• Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond, Jr., they of the Vogue Valentine's Day photo spread, are no longer an item. [Daily Intel]
• Is it still news to anyone that editorial work is not remotely remunerative? Here is yet another industry person, Betty Sze of Models.com, to give the good word about the bad pay. Condé Nast, says Sze, pays new models about $150 a day, and more experienced girls can expect to net about $250. Those rates actually set the curve for editorial pay in the rest of the industry: three of the last half-dozen eds I've done didn't pay at all. I will say this of Condé Nast: if one of their titles is shooting you in an out-of-the-way location, unlike other media conglomerates, they send a car to take you to the airport. Which is rad, because LIRR and MTA are two acronyms you do not want on your mind when you're trying to make a 7 a.m. departure at Kennedy airport, and dropping $100 on cabs to take you to and from a job that's gonna pay $200 (after your agency's cut, when you get paid in three months, if other expenses your agency assesses in the meantime don't eat it up entirely) makes no sense. The idea is to do editorials to work with good photographers and generate enough buzz to book campaigns (or, at least, catalogs) but that second, crucial step to financial solvency is a lot tougher than anyone makes it sound. [Fashionologie]
• Collabs between designers and mass-market retailers are on the rise this season — I'll give you one guess as to why. (Starts with "R"!) [WWD]
• Urban Outfitters has been unveiling an unusual number of collaborations, particularly with lesser known, cutting-edge designers, this season. But that didn't stop their design team ripping off a sandal design by Hayden Harnett. They even copied the name. The New York designers called their shoe the "Camille" — Urban's offering is the "Camilla." [Fashionista]
• Palm Beach's retail environment is struggling under the twin curses of Bernard Madoff and The Recession. [WWD]
• Lakme fashion week in Mumbai has a bunch of designers — and a Barbie-themed show. Because what world fashion week is complete without that? [FWD]
• The Lauren Conrad Collection is no more. Funny to think that you couldn't sell an entire line of boring jersey dresses produced by a girl whose claim to fame is playing herself on television in this economy. [P6]
• In somewhat more disappointing news of reality star fashion projects, House of Harlow, Nicole Richie's jewelry line, sold out online before it even reached stores. Alas, she plans an empire: "I'm focusing on my brand right now. There will be a maternity line, a clothing line, shoes, belts, everything!" [People]

• Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight was in a three-car crash yesterday. He was not injured, but two other people were taken to the hospital by ambulance. [LA Times]

• The President Of The United States, Barack Obama, was on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno last night. He brought lulz (More later). [NY Daily News]
• Barack Obama made a joke about the Special Olympics and for that he is sorry. [NY Daily News]
• Here's a picture of Chris Brown getting off of a private jet and riding a bike around on the tarmac like he's having the time of his life. Raise your hand if it makes you feel stabby. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is narrating a children's book. Cue the ZOMG SHE WANTS BABIEZ headlines. [Gatecrasher]
• Are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel on a fast train to Splitsville? [Perez, Chicago Sun-Times]
• When Beyoncé stopped at Patricia Field the other day, she spent $11,000 in 20 minutes. How come didn't get us anything? [Page Six]
• It's a big weekend at the box office, with lots of stars: Nicolas Cage, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. Plus, Amy Adams's Sunshine Cleaning will move into additional theaters. What to see? [Reuters]
• "Five Reasons Julia Roberts Is Too Old (or Not)." Wait, what? [E!]
• This article asks "Is John Hamburg (the writer/director of I Love You Man) The New Judd Apatow?" [LA Times]
• Actual headline: "Miley Cyrus Shakes Her Ass For Paps." And it's not on Perez! [E!]
• For some reason there is a feud between Chris Jericho and Mickey Rourke. Jericho says when Rourke comes to Wrestlemania, he will "get out of the ring, walk over to Mickey, and slap him in the face." Lame. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is pregnant on The Office. [E!]
• Speaking of The Office, did you dig Idris Elba? He has a Twitter. [EW]
• A Sheryl Crow/Stevie Nicks tour? Maybe! [Gatecrasher]
• There's a new Facebook group called UCLA Students Against James Franco as Commencement Speaker. It's jut mean! [E!]
• Dane Cook's half-brother and former business manager was indicted Thursday on eight counts of larceny; he'd been funneling millions from Cook's business accounts. No joke there. [E!]
• Real Housewives Of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi was spotted making out with Slade Smiley. [TMZ]
• Nick Lachey pitched a reality show to MTV and they liked it! Taking The Stage is about kids at a performing arts school (his alma mater in Cincinnati). Kinda like Fame, if you're old enough to remember hot lunch. [LA Times]
• Debra Messing is named in a lawsuit involving a traffic accident in which her car struck a police officer, even though Messing wasn't driving the car. [TMZ]
• The cast of the new Star Trek flick is heading to Australia; the movie will make its world premiere at the Sydney Opera House on April 7. No word if that guy with the Kirk chair will get to go. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Not only is Vanessa Williams awesome on Ugly Betty, she is working on a new album. "I had been wanting to do a Latin-flavored album since I played a ballroom dancer in the (salsa) movie Dance With Me," Williams says. [USA Today]
• Ooh, Elle Macpherson on TV! The CW show is called Beautiful Life, and she'll okay the owner of a modeling agency, naturally. [Reuters]
• Hmm, Mary J. Blige is joining the cast if the next Tyler Perry movie. Love her; not sure about him. [Reuters]
• Gossip Girl fans: Check out this new clip that's popped up: Chuck vs. Dorota! [People]
• Whitney Port and actor Robert Buckley were seen making out all over Miami. Hopefully someday soon we can stop thinking about these semi-famous [E!]
• There is a new romcom in the works called Merman. Yes, it is about a man who is half fish. He "comes to land so he can win back his mermaid fiance, who has left him for a real man." I'm not lying when I say it's produced by the dude who brought you Splash. [EW, Variety]
• Tara Reid has a job! She's been cast in an untitled horror film, in which she will play a mother whose family is terrorized by an unsees presence. [Variety]
• Former Soul Train host Don Cornelius has been sentenced to three years probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor spousal battery. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which engaged young couple shocked an entire film crew when they were caught having sex on set?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item: "Which hip-hop fashion team is taking more credit than it deserves? While most designers acknowledge their assistants do much of the work, this up-and-coming pair accept kudos but never mention the staff in the back who actually make it happen." [Page Six]
• "I remember a performance of The Fantasticks where a mom brought a teenage son with Tourette's syndrome to the show. It was explained to me that because he liked me a lot, it became especially difficult for him to control his outbursts when I came on stage. Every time I said or sang anything, he would snort, howl or bellow some expletive about bodily functions or female anatomy, [and drop] F-bombs." — Kristin Chenoweth, in her memoir, A Little Bit Wicked. [Page Six]
• "I like all the Wii games. Love Guitar Hero. Growing up, I liked Tetris. I even like BrickBreaker on the BlackBerry. [My first console was] a Nintendo. I would play Super Mario Bros. We weren't supposed to play it after nine o'clock, and I would sneak and play all night. I loved it." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• "I had my tonsils taken out [at age 13], and they gave me liquid Vicodin. I found, when I take this, people like me. I'm having fun, I'm not getting picked on. It became a confidence thing." — Kelly Osbourne, who says she is finally completely clean after a month in rehab. [People]
• "I am shirtless and I have back hair in Observe And Report, and it's glorious. They did have me shave my back for Knocked Up. Judd Apatow said, 'People are not ready for a hairy back in a sex scene. We're just not there yet as a society.'" — Seth Rogen. [Page Six]

[London, March 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[London, March 2. Image via INF]

• At an Oscar party, Madonna congratulated ex-husband Sean Penn on his win. Penn reportedly gestured at Jesus Luz and said: "Thanks. Another kid already?" [The Sun]

• Sean Penn skipped the Milk party, by the way. Why wouldn't you go to the bash for your own damn flick? [Page Six]
• Was Ben Stiller's Joaquin impersonation the only amusing part of the Oscars? [NY Post]
• Kate Winslet was psyched at the Vanity Fair party: she "cradled" her statue and shouted "Wooo!" at all who congratulated her. [Gatecrasher]
• Since receiving it, Kate Winslet has not put her Oscar down. [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Aniston wouldn't let John Mayer pose for a picture with "backstage beauties" at the Oscars. Or, you know, people want you to think she is keeping a tight grip on this one. [E!]
• Sienna Miller was at Montblanc's/UNICEF dinner in Hollywood and came out of the men's room followed by a "short, straggly haired gent whom she didn't speak to again that night." [Gatecrasher]
• Are Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson back on? She was seen with him right before the Oscars. [Page Six]
• Prince's Oscar party: A "disaster." [Page Six]
• Will Billy Crystal host the Oscars next? Fox's Roger Friedman thinks so, since Crystal isn't working on anything else. [Fox 411]
• Madonna who? Gwyneth Paltrow is becoming BFFs with Jay-Z and Beyoncé: Her kids call him "Uncle Jay." [Page Six]
• Eminem is suing Universal Music Group — the world's largest music company — over how much he is entitled to when his tunes are sold to third-party distributors. [The Wrap]
• There was a hearing in the Britney Spears restraining order case yesterday; Dad Jamie Spears claimed that Britney has been talking to Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib on a pre-paid cell phone. Danger, danger! [TMZ]
• Victoria Beckham's carbon footprint? Huge. [Guardian]
• Three words: Kathy Griffin memoir. [NY Observer]
• Parker Posey is a big tipper. [Page Six]
• Lily Allen wants to star in Miss Marple. She also wants to sing for and appear in a Bond film. She's a lady with dreams! [The Star]
• Stevie Wonder is in Washington to receive the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song from the Library of Congress; the ceremony will happen later this week at the White House and Barack Obama will present the award. Signed sealed delivered, it's his! [USA Today]
• Pix of the Slumdog cuties at Disneyland! [Extra]
• Here's a story about how the Slumdog kids are hometown heroes. "The whole country is happy about this. They are very happy that a boy from the slums is also now a star. I'm also very happy," said Mohammed Ismail, the father of a 10-year-old who appeared in the flick. [NY Post]
• A Tennessee teen who got raided last Fall for hacking Miley Cyrus's Gmail account also hacked other celebrity accounts and MySpaces for a spam scheme that earned him $110,000. [Wired]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is so obsessed with Audrey Hepburn that she dressed up as the actress for her 30th birthday. Nice tiara. [E!, IDLYITW]
• Some dude in Seattle collects celebrity-autographed yarmulkes, and 32 of them will be displayed at the University Of Washington. [UPI]
• Charles Barkley was sentenced to 10 days in jail yesterday, stemming from a December DUI in which he told cops he was speeding because he was on his way to get a blow job. (Note: That excuse does not work.) [E!]
• Kate Beckinsale has some instant noodles named after her: Steak and BeckinsALE. What an honor? [The Sun]
• The author of gay comic book Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde says Adam Sandler ripped off his idea and turned it into You Don't Mess With The Zohan. No one should be claiming credit for Zohan, though. [NY Daily News]
• Is U2 getting £1million in free advertising from the BBC? [Daily Mail]
• Regis Philbin's son Danny tried to kill himself with a pill overdose after splitting with his wife. [Perez Hilton]
• New couple: Elle Macpherson and Brit designer Oswald Boateng. [Gatecrasher]
• A martial arts instructor is suing Tito Jackson over unpaid debt. Is that family a magnet for trouble? [Mirror]
• Blind item! " Which billionaire's son is a scary misogynist? When women balk at his less-than-gentlemanly pickup lines, he calls them bitches and shouts a threat or two." [Gatecrasher]
• More blind items! "Which actor snorted cocaine in the bathroom during an Oscar after-party, while a slimmed-down stoner actor smoked pot outside with his pals? Which morning cable TV show hostess took off a week recently to get her eyes done and her breasts enlarged? Which aviation honcho is trying to knock down rumors he shacked up with a young hottie who works for him while his pregnant wife was back home and clueless?" [Page Six]
• "It's not up to me, but I'm sure we would (have him on SNL) if he had another hit single. We don't care about scandal. We just care about what brings us ratings!" — Kenan Thompson on Chris Brown. [MSNBC]
• "Possession of pouty lips and carefully contrived tousled hairdos doesn't exempt them from associating with the reporters and fans who made them famous." — from a rant against Angelina and Brad snubbing interviewers on the red carpet. [NY Post]
• "It doesn't cost $500 to cut my hair. Have you seen my hair? I don't even have that many strands. If for some reason i decided that I was going to throw $500 away on a hair cut I would pay for it myself, however - I have a great exchange going with my hair dresser - I make him cds - he cuts my hair. Yay! cheap and cheerful!" —Samantha Ronson, shutting down a report that Lindsay Lohan pays for Sam's $500 hair cuts. [MSNBC]

• Why do Kate Winslet and husband Sam Mendes usually fly on separate planes?

Back in 2001, Sam Mendes was booked on American Airlines flight 77 from Washington to L.A., the one hijacked and crashed into the Pentagon. His plans changed, so he never got on the plane, but Kate Winslet also had a terrorist air-scare in 2001. Now Sam and Kate prefer to fly separately, fearing that if they don't, they will leave their children orphans. [Daily Mail]

• By the by, Kate Winslet says: "There's always going to be a part of me that worries about not looking as slim as other actresses." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger won a SAG award last night. [NY Daily News]
• So you know how Lily Allen just broke up with that 45-year-old dude? Right after, she said: "I think, 'This is someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with.' But I cannot face having bad sex." [Mirror]
• Here's more on the Prince Harry/Chelsy Davy breakup: This paper calls her a "flighty blonde," but a source says: "Chelsy's heart is with her family and Africa. She comes from a relaxed family with different values and a completely different lifestyle from the royals. This is what Harry loves about her. The irony is that ultimately this is why they can never be together for ever. She has often told her friends she will never marry him not only because she doesn't, ultimately, want to live in England but also because she doesn't want the attention that comes with dating a royal. She wants a normal life." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile: Princess Eugenie and some friends got drunk at a pole dancing club and the Princess asked if she could try the pole. (She was denied.) [Daily Mail]
• Oh and by the by, Prince William bought Kate Middleton some deer shooting paraphernalia, including a Swarovski stalking scope. She's looking forward to "bagging her first set of Royal antlers." [Daily Mail]
• Rumor has it Hugh Jackman will do a big opening musical number at the Oscars! [Fox 411]
• Whoa: Will Brad Pitt play Steve McQueen? (Brad says: "Nope.") [Extra]
• Does Anderson Cooper fly in the front while his "friend," an "attractive Hispanic man," flies in the back of the plane? [Page Six]
• Drew Barrymore was promoting her romcom, He's Just Not That Into You, when she said she'd love to bring an old butt-kicking franchise back to life: "I’m so into it—Charlie's Angels III!" [E!]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil might try to use a love letter Amy wrote to him to get her money in divorce proceedings. In the letter, Amy said she'd write albums especially for Blake Incarcerated; he's expected to argue that it means he's entitled to half of her estimated $15 million earnings. [People, Daiy Mail]
• Are Kirsten Dunst and Josh Hartnett back on? [Extra]
• In this Q&A, Matthew Fox talks about why you never see him lending his name to any causes: "I'm an actor. I try to play a character in a really cool story, the very best I can. And somehow or other that does make people very interested in what I have to say. And I think that, being the stubborn bastard I am… the more people want to hear what it is I have to say, the more I kind of… not say anything." [Men.Style.Com via Details]
• Paramedics were called to the home of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett this weekend, maybe because Amy's mom had a health scare? [TMZ]
• Warning: Russell Brand is thinking about giving up sex. [The Sun]
• A reporter tells Rumer Willis she looks a little like her dad. "She shrieks and grimaces, covering the lower part of her face with her hands: 'I hate my jaw!' she says. [Daily Mail]
• What is going on in the Bahamas? Pleasant Bridgewater, a senior in Parliament, has just resigned. Obie Wilchcombe, a former "close friend" of John Travolta and family — and member of Bahamaian Parliament — was taken into custody regarding an extortion plot. Wilchcombe has been released, but a third person, and EMT who tried to revive Jett Travolta, is sill in custody. [TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, Us]
• Wilchcombe says he had nothing to do with the extortion plot. [TMZ]
• Mickey Rourke hasn't seen The Wrestler — and won't, for a while: "I don't watch anything until three, four, five years go by. I see myself every day in the mirror when I'm shaving. I don't get anything from it." [Extra]
• Samantha Morton says she'll boycott the BBC if the corporation won't broadcast an emergency appeal for help in Gaza. Morton took part in a fundraiser for the British Aid Agency Medical Aid for Palestinians. [The Star]
• Paul McCartney might wed his girlfriend, Nancy Shevell. One might think he'd had enough of marriage… [NY Daily News]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has a book coming out: Class With the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair. Will tips on crotch-grabbing and landing a reality show be included? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which nymphette actress had a really, really swell time in rehab, and has been telling pals that she 'got laid there' all the time?" [Gatecrasher]
• A prop manager from Lipstick Jungle stole $30,000 worth of designer clothes and accessories, but got caught when a limited-edition bag was seen on eBay. [Gatecrasher via Perez]
• Sayonara! Janet Jackson has postponed her tour in Japan due to the global financial crisis. [Internation Herald Tribune]
• Chris Martin gave a lovely lady, Brit singer Alesha Dixon, a ride home. In his private jet. [Daily Mail]
• Wall Street woes mean celeb houses in the Hamptons are going for slashed prices. [NY Post]
• The Jolie-Pitt mansion in Malibu will be up for sale soon, by the way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Cool interview with Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss. She says of the show: "Everyone who saw it was like, 'They're SMOKING! They're SMOKING!' No one noticed they were cheating on their wives." [Guardian]
• Psst: Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen are planning a hush-hush wedding. [People]
• Patrick Dempsey competed in a car race which raises money for breast cancer, and has also opened the Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope and Healing in Maine. [UPI]
• In a Q&A with Lauren Graham, she talks about doing Guys & Dolls on Broadway; a Gilmore Girls movie (not gonna happen) and a new comedy she'll star in, in which she plays "a self-help guru who is truly a mess." [EW]
• Anne Hathaway Googles herself. [Showbiz Spy]
• David and Victoria Beckham have hired two people to clean their mansion in the country, and the couple are named David and Victoria. [Showbiz Spy]
• Hmm, AC Milan is hoping David Beckham will stay with the team. Ciao, Hollywood? [Independent]
• Natascha McElhone made her first official public appearance since the death of her husband last year, and was carrying her newborn son, Rex. [Daily Mail]
• Tommy Lee was seen hanging out with model Victoria Silvstedt — and she had bandages on her knees. What does it mean? [Daily Mail]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy won't strike back at South Park, and that the Family Guy scripts are written by sperm whales. [TMZ]
• Three's a crowd? Cockblocker George Michael went out with Geri Halliwell and her new Italian boyfriend. [Daily Mail]
• Elle Macpherson is dating a multi-millionaire British businessman named Damian Aspinall. [News.com.au]
• Holy femmebot! Kylie Minogue is mega-Photoshopped in her new ads for jewelry company Tous. [Daily Mail]
• Oh dear: Zsa Zsa Gabor lost at least $7 million by investing with Bernard Madoff, the man who's been making the incredibly wealthy merely rich. [UPI, MSNBC]
• Boy George has been moved to a "softer" prison. Is it made of toilet tissue? [Mirror]
• Ladies and gentlemen, an Iron Maiden hotel. [UPI]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was asked to rate his looks on a scale from 1-10. He says: "About six and a half. It’s not really about the face, though. I think it’s more about what’s in my trousers, to be honest – apart from cooking, that’s the thing I’ve got going for me and a lot of women say it’s enough." [Mirror]
• "Patsy is a figure of nostalgia, doing everything we daren’t do because of our obligations to our families and society. I have turned into a school prefect now but, much as i love my life, i sometimes think i’d like to skip classes and smoke cigarettes in the duck-house again. I could have been Patsy if i hadn’t turned out to be me." — Absolutely Fabulous' Joanna Lumley. [Daily Express]
• "When you're younger, you're always working for something, and now you realize, this is really it. You'd better be enjoying this, because this is pretty good." — Julianne Moore, who is on the cover of Redbook. [People]
• "I can’t stand Angelina and all her babies. Maddox probably thought he hit the jackpot, but then Angelina proceeded to take him to every other Third World country on the planet. He’s probably like. 'Bitch, when the (bleep) are we getting to Malibu?'" — Chelsea Handler. [Gatecrasher]
• "I swear that my waist is now skinnier than before I was pregnant — how do they do that? Certainly it’s nothing to do with me working out. Jerry Bruckheimer [Shopaholic’s mega-successful producer] hired a personal trainer to help me get rid of the 60lb I put on during pregnancy. He said I was lucky I was blessed with good genes because I had a really bad attitude towards exercise — like stopping when it hurt or got boring and having a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Apparently you are not supposed to do that in Hollywood." — Isla Fisher. [Times of London]
• "I think there's something to be said for looking more natural on film. A perfect physique is unattainable for most women who can't hire personal trainers or who don't have the time or inclination to spend two hours a day working out." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]
• "My grandparents didn't take any pills, and they were fine. Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a fucking pansy." — Bijou Phillips, Scientologist. [Us via Paper Magazine]

Sydney, December 27. Image via Flynet.