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New York, 7:09 PM
Mon Nov 23
65 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #elizabethgilbert more →

    Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of rednrowdy rednrowdy
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    most feminists I know accept the notion that whether or not a woman is in a relationship doesn't determine how "strong" she is.

    as much as this is true, not all women identify as feminists, and even the women i know who are feminists and are married look at their single feminist friends with pity - unless they are independently wealthy or something.
     Reply
    rednrowdy was starred rednrowdy was unstarred
    Image of anya629 anya629
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    Feminism is not about whether or not a woman gets married, whether or not she has kids, or the career (if any) that she pursues. It is about her having the resources and freedom to make those choices for herself.
     Reply
    Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini promoted this comment anya629 was starred anya629 was unstarred
    Image of Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
    09/04/09

    @anya629: yes. period. end of story.
     Reply
    Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini was starred Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini was unstarred
    Image of emfish55 emfish55
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    I'm single. I consider myself a feminist. I've noticed that a lot of people seem to thing I'm angrily eschewing men and relationships and marriage BECAUSE I'm a feminist. As though it's not possible that maybe I just haven't found someone I want to commit to. And also that holding feminist ideals can make it more difficult to find someone who wants to commit to me, unfortunately. But no, apparently I am single because I'm a man-hating feminist. And according to Hays, the day I finally "succumb" to a man and "give in" to the idea of marriage (seriously, the way she describes Gilbert's decision to marry is just Neanderthal), I will cease to be a feminist. Because believing women should be able to make their own choices and believing in marriage is obviously contradictory. In which case, as usual, I'm perturbed by how Hays conceives of marriage.
     Reply
    Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini promoted this comment emfish55 was starred emfish55 was unstarred
    Image of Casquivana Casquivana
    09/04/09

    @emfish55: Yeah, that's my issue with it too. Hays simply seems to be trying to judge ideology credentials based on personal choices and personality traits.
    Listen, I am single and never "get the guy" because I'm awkward. It would be easy to try to justify my awkwardness and lack of dating success with my feminism, but even if I weren't a feminist, I'd still be this way. Hays is simply being petty, lazy and foolish in her argument. And dismissing someone simply because she's getting married is just like dismissing someone else because she's not with a man. Funny that for things that are on extreme opposites of an idea they make such similar claims.
     Reply
    Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini promoted this comment Casquivana was starred Casquivana was unstarred
    Image of desertbloom79 desertbloom79
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    By saying that feminists shouldn't want to get married, all she is really saying is that men and women are not equals, and you can not be equally matched in life. If men and women are equals (as feminism radically supposes) then it shouldn't make any difference whether one is married or not. She is projecting her own misguided beliefs about gender equality on feminism with absolutely no self awareness that she is doing it.
     Reply
    Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini promoted this comment desertbloom79 was starred desertbloom79 was unstarred
    Image of Ultraprison! Ultraprison!
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    "such women rarely remain single - even if they profess to be feminists."

    I can't believe someone is actually saying - nay, writing and publishing! - that feminists are supposed to be single. I'm surprised she's not also angry at men for deigning to be with a feminist.

    Barf.
     Reply
    Ultraprison! was starred Ultraprison! was unstarred
    Image of TrevorStork TrevorStork
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    okay well try this one on for size, I'm a feminist, hate marriage, i.e don't believe in it AND i hate this book. So ta da!
     Reply
    Chamalla, now gainfully employed promoted this comment Anna N. approved this comment TrevorStork was starred TrevorStork was unstarred
    Image of coriander coriander
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    The whole point of feminism, as I understand it, is to defend against arguments just like this one: that a woman's personal beliefs and credibility are contingent on her behavior as it pertains to men. Real feminists are the people who don't care and don't criticize OR celebrate her choices, because why celebrate something that is as mundanely intrinsic to basic human freedom as being able to get married if you feel like it?
     Reply
    Chamalla, now gainfully employed promoted this comment morninggloria approved this comment coriander was starred coriander was unstarred
    Image of Spacegirl goes home Spacegirl goes home
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    Well, as we all know, men don't want to marry feminists, perish the thought!

    Ain't that right, Jezedudes?
     Reply
    ULTRAPRISON! promoted this comment Spacegirl goes home was starred Spacegirl goes home was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    The Charlotte Haze I know loves marriage but hates children. What kind of feminist is she...?
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of joq8 joq8
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    Oh, shut up, Hays. I'm a feminist and i'm married BUT I don't have the energy to engage in real debate about your lazy, insipid article.
     Reply
    ULTRAPRISON! promoted this comment joq8 was starred joq8 was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    I think my husband married me because he needed someone to protect him, not the other way around.
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    It's true you guys. Betty Friedan was SO boy-crazy. Bitch would not shut up about her latest crush, like ever.
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    09/04/09

    @bluebears: Rock Hudson.

    (What a hag.)
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    09/04/09

    @morninggloria: They got their DANCE on!
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    I'm beginning to suspect that a "Real Feminist," one who doesn't upset any feminists ever with any of her choices, is a myth. Sort of like the chupacabra, the Loch Ness Monster, and Tom Cruise's heterosexuality.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    09/04/09

    @morninggloria: Bite your tongue! You can caterwaul against the patriarchy all you want, but chupacabras are REAL.
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of PrettyB is like Whoa PrettyB is like Whoa
    09/04/09

    @morninggloria: Oh no, the chupacabra is real.
    [www.cnn.com]
     Reply
    badmutha promoted this comment PrettyB is like Whoa was starred PrettyB is like Whoa was unstarred
    Image of CurtCole CurtCole
    09/04/09


    @morninggloria: WORD.
     Reply
    CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred
    Image of LuvEwan LuvEwan
    09/04/09

    @CurtCole: I like you.

    @morninggloria: Is the Loch Ness Monster the one that married Mimi Rogers?
     Reply
    LuvEwan was starred LuvEwan was unstarred
    Image of PrettyB is like Whoa PrettyB is like Whoa
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    Fellow feminists, I'm really confused. Are we sluts or are we prudes? I just want to know what stereotype I need to adhere to!
     Reply
    LaComtesse promoted this comment PrettyB is like Whoa was starred PrettyB is like Whoa was unstarred
    Image of Oleander Oleander
    09/04/09

    @PrettyB is like Whoa: BOTH, silly! We're boy crazy whores who chase after men, only to realize how much we all HATE men and sex in the heat of the moment and withdraw, therefore totally justifying it if those poor, poor confused men rape us. It's ALL our fault! Duh!
     Reply
    la.donna.pietra promoted this comment Oleander was starred Oleander was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/04/09

    @PrettyB is like Whoa: To be a feminist, you have to be both, and if you're not you fail.
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of boobookitt boobookitt
    09/04/09

    @LaComtesse: actually I thought we had to be both just to be women.
     Reply
    la.donna.pietra promoted this comment boobookitt was starred boobookitt was unstarred
    Image of RisaPlata RisaPlata
    09/04/09

    @PrettyB is like Whoa: Duh! We're lesbians. And not the sexy kind men want to see, but the butch kind who wear flannel and eat ice cream together on the couch instead of having sex.

    I may need to revoke your "feminazi bonerkiller" haircut.
     Reply
    RisaPlata was starred RisaPlata was unstarred
    Image of PrettyB is like Whoa PrettyB is like Whoa
    09/04/09

    @RisaPlata: you'll never take my mullet!
     Reply
    PrettyB is like Whoa was starred PrettyB is like Whoa was unstarred
    Image of bowleserised bowleserised
    09/04/09

    In reply to Feminists Don't Hate Marriage: In Defense Of Elizabeth Gilbert
    Oh, someone send that silly woman a link to something Jessica Valenti's written about getting married in, ooh, the last month? I mean, let's help Ms Hays keep on top of her research as she's obviously floundering here.
     Reply
    bowleserised was starred bowleserised was unstarred
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