Jezebel: elizabeth hasselbeck

All The Appointment Gossip You Can Handle, Including Aretha Franklin

Megan — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 18:30:00 EST

Batty conservative Michael Savage thinks Caroline Kennedy ought to watch her back since Hillary Clinton killed her brother John. We think she should watch out for batshit crazy conservatives. [Media Matters]

But New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo — a reported competitor for the seat — might harbor a teeny crush on Caroline. [Politico]
Barack Obama's next appointment is likely to be Republican Congressman Ray LaHood to be the next Secretary of Transportation. [Huffington Post]
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has appointed defeated New Hampshire Senator John Sununu to the oversight board for the financial bail-out so that Johnny doesn't have to go live in New Hampshire or anything. [Politico]
Tabloid-esque biographer Andrew Morton is shopping a book proposal on Michelle Obama but he's not having much luck. [The First Post]
Former CIA Director George Tenent is: an anti-Semite, possibly a drunk; definitely short-sighted when it came to being sold out by the Bush Administration. [Think Progress]
Big surprise: the whole "trickle down" effect we were supposed to see from the government throwing wads of cash at the banks? Not happening. They're just hoarding and giving out bonuses and taking expensive staff retreats. [LA Times]
Egyptian Saad Gumaa has offered his daughter, Amal Saad Gumaa, to the guy who threw the shoe at President Bush, Muntazer al-Zaidi. She considers al-Zaidi a hero; her father considers her the most valuable thing he could offer al-Zaidi; we continue to think that women are more than chattel. [Reuters]
Aretha Franklin will sing and Itzhak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma will perform a selection composed by John WIlliams at the swearing-in ceremony at Obama's Inauguration. We assume that neither Dr. Feelgood or The Imperial March will make an appearance. [Huffington Post]

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Introduces Sarah Palin: Watch At Your Own Risk

hortense — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Hey! Do you feel like going into an extreme fit of rage? Well you're in luck, because we've got a clip of Elisabeth Hasselbeck introducing Sarah Palin at a rally in Iowa earlier today. Hasselbeck begins by exclaiming how happy she is to talk "for a full five minutes without getting interrupted!" She then goes on to tell the crowd she loves them, and then thanks Palin for giving "a speech about issues important to all women," which included equal pay, ending honor killings, and, oh yeah, "ending policies that sanction abortion of the country's unborn daughters." My head just exploded, so I can't type anymore, but if you're looking for the scariest clip you'll see during this Halloween week, it's after the jump.

Scandinavians Split On Sexist Ads • Beaver Goes On Russian Booze Rampage

maria — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:40:00 EDT

Scandinavian countries spar over, defend sexist advertising and free speech laws. • Pregnant Indian women more likely to have morning sickness than Norwegians. • My Little Pony celebrates 25th birthday with tea and Elizabeth Hasselbeck. • Smart girls supposedly have a harder time getting off because, um, they think about stuff? • A 15-year-old Canadian boy steals bikinis, wears them. • Alarmed Russian beaver breaks into food store, smashes vodka bottles following forest fire. • Minorities and men are less likely to get help quitting smoking. • A Moroccan woman kills her husband after he takes a second wife. • Women who have C-sections are more likely to suffer a stroke the following year.

Mary Kate Has More Than Just The Body Of Christ

Moe — Fri, 25 May 2007 09:19:02 EDT

When casting directors ask our opinion as to which starlets could make convincing Evangelical Christians we never really thought, "Oh, yeah, MK Olsen! Totes!". But then we realized that whole 'miracle of the loaves and fishes' thing totally sounds like a trick we read on a pro-ana website. [Page Six]
Don't let her ass-lickery fool you, 'Idol' wannabes! When Paula Abdul broke her nose while throwing a tantrum and then said she'd tripped on her chihuahua we realized just what a very very convincing liar she is. [Page Six]
OMG! It's the return of the multi-talented (and so terribly press-shy) Callum Best-grope-victim Sara Kova! Apparently Lindsay did not say hi to her! [Rush & Molloy]
Rosie O'Donnell's chief writer Janette Barber was escorted from the building after drawing moustaches all over pictures of Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and we'd make a joke but "SHE'S DEFACE OF ROSIE'S REVENGE" was taken. [Page Six]

[More news about Rose McGowan, Justin and Jessica, and maybe something about Kim Jong-Il's missile tests after the jump.]

Justin Timberlake is "in love" with Jessica Biel, probably because she has never been less muscular. [People]
Rose McGowan may not be over Marilyn Manson. [Rush & Molloy]
You know how they say whoring is the "oldest profession"? It's a good line, yes, but before there were two-faced, pious politicians to hire them, weren't they probably just called sluts? [Rush & Molloy]