Kate Middleton Having a Girl, Everyone Screams!
Although Kate Middleton and Prince William have only told their parents the sex of their baby, a slip of the tongue made it clear that Kate might be playing uteran hostess—I picture it as an upscale B&B, complete with L'Occitane bath products and tiny decorative soaps and a Jonathan Adler guestbook—to a tiny future…
Sunday Sign-Off: Blow Out The Candles, Elizabeth Banks
Today, Elizabeth Banks turns 39, and we temporarily forgive her for this terrible, reductive-sounding CBS pilot. Not just because of her birthday, but because she's going to be in Secretary director Steven Shainberg's next fetish/love flick The Big Shoe. And also because she's adorable singing with Reggie Watts, above.
Jon Gosselin's Ex Is Gonna Be in That Girls Reality Show You Won't Watch
Unfortunately for, uh, all citizens of Earth, the Girls reality show is apparently underway: ABC has picked it up and already chosen a star, a 25-year-old publicist named Hailey Glassman whose achievements include, hand to God, dating Jon Gosselin and being on an episode of My Life is A Lifetime Movie. She's also…
Jay-Z Unwisely Invokes The Wrath of Robert DeNiro
Alpha males Robert De Niro and Jay-Z's squabbling almost ruined Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday party for everyone. De Niro let Hova have it for mentioning that he'd be willing to record a song for the Tribeca Film Festival and then failing to return any of De Niro's calls to follow through. Jay-Z tried to joke about it…
Taylor Swift Cheats on a Kennedy With a Schwarzenegger
This is probably, prrrrrobably not true, but feelings-haver Taylor Swift may have made an enemy of Camelot by attempting to collect Kennedy boys like Pokémon. Apparently Tay-Tay made out with Patrick Schwarzenegger at a family event she attended with her boyfriend Conor Kennedy, and the whole clan except Conor is…
The Details Puts a Philandering Tobey Maguire in Suburban Hell
Sleazy suburban husband/father seems like a good career pivot for Tobey Maguire, especially as we all wait on tenterhooks for that Great Gatsby movie that looks so pretty. Look for Maguire to quietly cheat on Elizabeth Banks with at least two women (Laura Linney included), and then have a piano fall on him. It's a…
Both Presidential Candidates Want You to Know they Love You Very, Very Much
Some sunny side up Suzies might claim that all this political negativity is getting them down, but I love this part of the election cycle, the part where both major parties pretend that if they're elected, the needs of women will be their #1 highest priority. This week, the courtship of the American lady voter…
Sylvester's Son Sage Stallone Found Dead In His Apartment
Sage Stallone, who played Rocky's son opposite real-life father Sylvester Stallone in 1990's Rocky 5, has passed away at 36. He was found in his Los Angeles apartment when his concerned housekeeper called the authorities, who say that that there was "no personal contact" with Stallone in the days before his death.…
Beyoncé And Kim Kardashian May Not Be As Close As We Thought, Which Was Not That Close
At the BET awards last night, Bey, Jay, 'Ye and something called a Kim Kardashian sat together in a royal enclave and the photos of this momentous event have already been analyzed until the end of time. Beyoncé and Kim, who sat on the outside of their respective men, "made no effort to stretch across to chinwag." Kim…
Without a Trace of Irony, Alanis Morissette Vows to Breastfeed Her Son Until He Asks Her to Stop
It appears the time has come for every celebrity mother to take sides in the attachment parenting debate. Today Alanis Morissette planted herself firmly in "very attached" territory by saying she still breastfeeds her 16-month-old son Ever and won't stop until he asks her to. She thinks it's going to save her on…
Anna Wintour Gives Kim Kardashian the Ultimate Diss
Kim Kardashian may be dating megastar Kanye West, but that doesn't mean she was welcome among the A-listers at last night's Met Gala. In fact, she was expressly forbidden to attend by Queen Anna Wintour herself. A source reports, "The Met Gala is $25,000 a ticket, but Kim can't even buy her way in, Anna Wintour does…
Elizabeth Banks Warns Lawmakers That Without The Pill Ladies Will Be Bleeding All Over Office Furniture
Elizabeth Banks is telling those who wish to restrict access to birth control to suck a bag of dicks. She explains how it's used for a whole raft of things other than preventing unwanted pregnancies, including to help regulate periods in those struggling with fertility issues and improve the chances of successful IVF.…
According to Rihanna, Getting Your Boobs Out is a Great Way to Feel Better About Your Body
She's a big fan of letting her boobs out for a breather and Rihanna explains it's because it's a great way to feel better about yourself. Battling negative body image problems while growing up in the public eye, she says that she found that the more flesh she bared the more confident she became. "The more I got naked…
Noted Hollywood Hornbag Gerard Butler is a Total Homewrecker
In what amounts to a half-baked blind item, Gerard Bulter has been accused of ruining the not-so happy marriage of a fellow thespian – the as-yet unnamed actress calling time on her fledgling marriage because she couldn't get enough of the Scottish actor's wee Scotty. "It was a very intense relationship. She had very…

