• A judge ordered Lindsay Lohan to appear in court tomorrow for a progress report because officials from her alcohol education course reported concerns about her sobriety. If she violated the terms of her probation, she could be jailed.

• Lindsay was ordered to attend the course after pleading no contest to a DUI in 2007. Usually in a misdemeanor case the defendant would not have to appear in court. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Kate Gosselin says she might sue Jon Gosselin after hearing Stephanie Santoro's allegations that Jon bragged about hacking into her emails, phone, and online accounts. She said in a statement that she's "profoundly disturbed" and "Under the circumstances, Ms. Gosselin is carefully considering all of her legal options regarding this matter, and she will pursue them if and when the time is right." [Radar Online]
• Roman Polanski's wife Emmanuelle Seigner attacked a female paparazzo who approached her outside her Paris apartment, punching and screaming at her in the middle of the street. [Radar Online]
• Jimmy Kimmel's admission that he's dating staffer Molly McNearney is developing into his own sex scandal. Apparently he fired her ex-boyfriend, who was also on staff, before they started seeing each other. Molly and her ex used to double date with Jimmy and Sarah Silverman. [Radar Online]
• According to the search warrant in the David Letterman extortion case, Robert Halderman met with Letterman's lawyer to present the incriminating documents and photos and demand $2 million from Letterman. The meeting was held and recorded and Haldeman was given a $2 million check. [TMZ]
• The legal documents say Robert Halderman told the lawyer that David Letterman's "world is about to collapse around him," and that he had, "a lot more" documents to back up his claims. [AP]
• At the link are pictures of Holly Hester, a woman who claims she had a relationship with David Letterman when she was an intern 20 years ago, goofing around in Dave's office. [TMZ]
• Lawyers representing Michael Jackson's estate went to court today to ask a judge to give them more power to make day-to-day decisions without going to court. The judge put off the hearing until later this month. [TMZ]
• Liza Minnelli says she and Barbara Streisand will attend Stanford and Anthony's wedding in Sex and the City 2: Electric Boogaloo and she will perform Beyonce's "Single Ladies." Liza says: "The choreography for the number is something I should have done when I was 22." [Contact Music]
• A spokesman for director Hype Williams has confirmed that Beyonce and Lady Gaga will appear in the music video for Beyonce's "Video Phone." [MTV]
• A source claims that Jennifer Aniston hooked up with John Mayer at a New York hotel in september. "He really got to her, and she's hooked on him," says the source. "She just can't let go." [Us]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger's solution to Maria Shriver being caught talking on her cell phone while driving was to hire her a driver. [TMZ]
• Leona Lewis, who was punched in the head by a man at her book signing yesterday, wrote on her website: "Thank you so much for your support it is truly overwhelming. Yesterday was a horrible shock and left me extremely hurt and upset. I'm very sorry to those I wasn't able to meet at the signing. Thank you again for all of the lovely messages." [People]
• Police have charged 29-year-old Peter Kowalczyk with assault for allegedly hitting Leona Lewis and "sectioned" him under the mental health act — which means he's being held so doctors can evaluate him. [TMZ]
• Leona Lewis was supposed to go to Germany today for a one day promotional trip but she cancelled so she could recover from the incident. [The Telegraph]
• A second Billy Mays autopsy report says contrary to earlier reports, "there is no evidence that Mr. Mays' death was related to acute cocaine intoxication .... rather, the use of cocaine by Mr. Mays appears to have occurred at a remote time several days before his death." [TMZ]
• The second autopsy was commissioned by Billy Mays' family. His widow Deborah Mays issued a statement saying: "In addition, there is nothing in his medical, social or professional history to suggest chronic cocaine use. Therefore, I do not believe cocaine played a significant contributing factor in the death of Mr. Mays as the autopsy specimens and findings are not consistent with the cardiac conditions normally observed in a person chronically using cocaine." [TMZ]
• David Archuleta's parents have filed for divorce less than a month after his father, James Jeffrey, was arrested during a sting on a massage parlor for soliciting a prostitute. [Radar Online]
• Paris Hilton says of the pet piglet she's purchased, "I'm getting her in a couple weeks. She's still a baby, so she's with her mom, getting ready for me. She'll be a perfect addition to the family!" [Us]
• Kim Kardashian did a Barbie-inspired shoot for the cover of Kurv magazine. She says, "I absolutely love this photoshoot I did for KURV Magazine! I worked with the most amazing photographer, Tony Duran! This could be my favorite shoot to date!" [People]
• Khloe Kardashian wrote on her blog, "According to Star, our marriage is on the rocks because I threw a fit when Lamar refused to give me a massage!!! I seriously died when I read that! LOL. Star is known for doing evil, fake and RIDICULOUS stories about my family. Remember the cover story, "Kardashians At War"? Honey please. They are becoming the Enquirer. Next thing you know they'll be saying that Kourtney is giving birth to a cat! LOL. All of their stories are absurd but at least we get a good laugh from their lies." [Khloe Kardashian Blog]
• A-Ha will split up following a farewell tour next year. The band says the split will allow them to pursue "other meaningful aspects of life." [The Mirror]
• Someone created a Rihanna tag on twitter and wrote: "The Wait Is Ova. Nov. 23 09." It's unclear if that's the date her new album is coming out. [CNN]
• Russell Crowe and Elizabeth Banks were shooting a scene inside a van when a fire truck pulled out of a nearby station and hit the front of the van. No one was injured. [TMZ]
• David Cook's "cougar," who is 9 years older than him, says he broke up with her because fans weren't happy about their relationship. Kim Johnston claims that Cook sent her a text reading: "Dude, I'm losing fans over this!" [Star]
• George Clooney says false news stories leave celebrities with "no recourse... It'll be false, and you'll go, 'It's not true.' And they go, 'We're not saying that, we're saying that a London tabloid has said it.' They're just reprinting and reprinting things that aren't necessarily true." [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe has bought at $5.65 million brownstone in Manhattan that used to belong to a sea captain. [Observer]
• A 38-year-old man suffered a fatal heart attack at a Kelly Clarkson concert at Boston University. [Boston]
• According to an autopsy Sickle Cell Anemia may have played a role in the death of Ashley "A.J." Jewell of RHOA. He died in a bar fight but due to his condition he may not have been able to replenish the oxygen he lost during the incident. [TMZ]
• Emilie de Ravin separated from her husband Josh Janowicz when she was filming Remember Me with Robert Pattinson. She and her husband have reunited but a friend says, "She was miffed that Rob went back to Kristen Stewart after the film wrapped... She liked him a lot." [Star]
• Madonna says the past year, in which she got divorced and went on tour, was "challenging... I may have thrown myself off a building. I think work saved me and I'm very grateful that I had work to do." [Daily Mail]
• "People have told me, 'you could just go out there and play guitar and sing your songs like Paul McCartney', but I'd be too bored. Most of the joy of the shows is the magic of creating them: theatre. I'm a perfectionist. I like hard work. I like to sweat." — Madonna [The Telegraph]
• Some of Emily Mortimer's least favorite things are integrity, men in shorts, the sound of her husband clipping his toenails, and "how awful my boobs are when I'm pregnant." [Black Book]
• Carey Mulligan says, "A lot of people go to university for the sake of it and I knew I would probably waste my time and other people's time so I tried to get into acting." [The Telegraph]
• After hearing that January Jones was photographed in lingerie for GQ Bryan Batt said, "I'm in House Beautiful, thank you very much. In my bed, fully clothed. Please, people want to see January in her underwear. They don't want to see me in lingerie. Come on, who's not dying to see that? All the ladies on our show are uniquely beautiful in their own way." [N.Y. Magazine]
• According to a Playboy press release, Marge Simpson said when her family learned that she posed for the magazine's November issue, "Homer said he was intrigued because he had never heard of [Playboy]. The notion of women posing in the buff was completely foreign to him. Wasn't it sweet of him to lie? When Lisa heard about this, she said it was empowering to see a woman in control of her own body. Wasn't it sweet of her to lie? Bart will never learn about this under any circumstance."

Leslie Mann looks lovely. Yes, the matching shoes are a tad Barbie, but I'm guessing her daughters approve.


Speaking of! Maude and Iris Apatow look like normal kids, always (sadly) refreshing. Also, Maude has the same half-Jew hair I had as a kid! Well, if mine had been groomed and detangled instead of a matted rat's nest.


Gotta say, Seth Rogen's looking sharp - even if he always looks more stoic than happy on the red carpet.


Anna Faris looks like she was caught doing something naughty - instead of just wearing a fairly unremarkable summer weekend outfit. What's she hiding behind her back?


Oh, Rashida Jones, you make it look so easy: love how the horizontals on the skirt are echoed by the sandals and the necklace!


Jonah Hill's pants are really long and he's wearing lace-up espadrilles. He's obviously aware of both these things, so.


Kinda digging on Elizabeth Banks' 80s cocktail - very Bright Lights, Big City. As to the hair, well, those of us susceptible to humidity are not adverse to seeing this become an acceptable look.


I've never seen comedian Aubrey Plaza scrubbed up; she "puts on the dog," as my grandfather would inexplicably have said, like a charm.


Okay, Eric Bana's obviously handsome blah blah blah, but if you're going to wear a natty suit, complete with gentlemanly trappings, you might as well shave.


So on the one hand, I love to see people taking chances and being creative and working without the stifling influence of stylists. On the other, Toni Collette looks daft.

[Images via Getty]

[Los Angeles, June 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

He may have violated the probation of his L.A. DUI conviction. If so, it's back to the slammer. [People]

• According to this report, Kiefer Sutherland will surrender today and be charged with with third-degree assault for his "attack" on Jack McCollough. [NY Daily News, TMZ, E!]
• Kiefer will get a desk ticket for the headbutt — meaning he won't be jailed and he's free to travel. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Donald Trump intends to make a decision about Miss California Carrie Prejean very soon; additionally, the guy from the website which has been releasing "controversial" photos of her says he has more, and he intends to post them. [E!]
• The Carrie Prejean semi-nude pictures will "roll out" slowly. [CNN]
• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, has filed legal papers asking the LAPD to state how the picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. If there was misconduct by law enforcement, Geragos will file a motion to have the case dismissed. [TMZ]
• Oprah wrote her Time 100 essay about Michelle Obama on her BlackBerry: "And then I went to hit the wrong button and the whole thing deleted! I went to hit 'Save' and instead I hit ... 'Oh my God! Oh my God! It's gone!' That ever happened to you? And then you can't remember - not one sentence you wrote." What did she do? "I couldn't even think for two days… I couldn't even, like, think of a sentence. I stared at the BlackBerry, then I hit every button trying to make it come back. I hit 'Options.' I did everything!" Then she started over. [New York Mag, Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Sam: Romantic relapse? A source says Sam might take LL back. They've been texting and "having visits." But another source says: "Lindsay plays stupid mind games saying she is being pursued by major celebrity actors. She has a lot of free time to play all these childish games. Sam knows in her head, life is truly better off without Lindsay." [People]
• This paper claims that Lindsay Lohan "chased her ex-lover across LA yesterday before finally tracking her down at 2am and demanding one of those horrible late-night discussions." [Daily Mail]
• Steve Zahn had to touch Jennifer Aniston's ass for the new flick, The Management, and says: "We had to do it so many times. It's so weird, very awkward and bizarre. [But] she's a pro, a gifted actor, humble, modest, a genuinely kind person. She has no agenda. She's just a really beautiful person." So wait: she's not desperate and lonely, sobbing over an empty uterus? Huh. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston says if there's gonna be a Friends movie, "they should hurry up." [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper: Flirting??!?!?!?! [Page Six]
• In the new Marie Claire, Beyoncé says that when she was singing for the Obamas in January, she was almost overcome: "I had to tell myself, 'They asked you to do this. You have to do a great job. This is their history. Calm down. Calm down… I barely made it. Literally seconds before the song started, I was crying like a 5-year-old." [People]
• In this video, some dude who works security at a Pennsylvania motel says Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 shows up frequently and was seen "romantically kissing" a woman who was not his wife. [Radar Online]
• "Twilight fans fell in love with Robert Pattinson as a vampire who makes girls swoon. But in Little Ashes, which opens on Friday, the actor explores a relationship that could reshape his heartthrob image." No one wants you to forget that he sexes a dude in this flick. No one. [Reuters>]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson lawsuit; this one involves a former publicist who claims, "Mr. Jackson has elected not to honor the financial obligations of our contractual relationship." She wants $44 million. [TMZ, Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon is thought to be connected to a man named John Witherspoon, who left Scotland in 1768 and went on to witness the signing of the Declaration of Independence. A BBC series, A History Of Scotland, will tell his story. [Daily Express]
• Guess who's started working out with Tracy Anderson — Gwyneth and Madonna's trainer? Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]
• Are cops in Massachusetts targeting celebs in Massachusetts? What's with all the searches on Tom Brady and Matt Damon? [E!]
• Dr. Phil has fired 15 members of his staff. "It was a bloodbath… People who had worked together for years suddenly were unemployed," says a source. Ouch! Someone call Oprah. [Perez]
• WTF headline of the day: "When Harry Met Tranny." (Daniel Radcliffe had dinner with a drag queen.) [The Sun]
• JJ Abrams says of the original TV series Star Trek: "I remember appreciating it, but feeling like I didn't get it." He was not a Trekkie! "I had no idea there had been 10 movies! I still haven't seen them all." [Guardian]
• Speaking of Trek, Zachary Quinto couldn't do Vulcan fingers while filming and JJ Abrams had to glue his fingers together. [Page Six]
• Director Robert Rodriguez was working on an adaptation of Barbarella — with Rose McGowan playing the Jane Fonda role, naturally — but the project is now dead. No orgasmatron! [MTV]
• Jennifer Aniston, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Banks, Catherine Hardwicke and cinematographer Petra Korner will be honored at the 2009 Crystal + Lucy Awards, presented by Women in Film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie Holmes will star in a thriller called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, scripted by Guillermo del Toro. Xenu knows she could use a hit flick. [Variety]
• Robert De Niro and Edward Norton will star in an indie psychological thriller Stone, about a a correctional officer (De Niro) who is seduced by the wife of a convicted arsonist (Norton) up for parole. [Variety]
• Susan Boyle is now in the top 5 list of most watched viral videos, right under Soulja Boy and something called Achmed the Dead Terrorist. [NY Daily News]
• Megan Fox wants to be like George Clooney: "He's sarcastic, and he has a different girlfriend constantly. It's considered charismatic. He's like this James Bond, sexy dude. The older he gets, the better he gets. It's a double standard. To be outspoken, or different at all, is a problem for women. As soon as you curse or, God forbid, make some sort of sexual reference that's a joke, you're (labelled a party girl). They don't do that with men, so I feel it would be a lot easier." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "tattooed bisexual." The horrors. [The Sun]
• Liz Hurley thinks people look sexier in the country than in the city. Also, she likes to have sex on sheepskin rugs in front of fireplaces. [Daily Mail]
• In 2000, Jemima Khan's plane was hijacked; she says her hair turned white after the incident and she's had to dye it ever since. [Daily Express]
• A new biography reveals that Stephen King "spent most of the Eighties on an extended drug and alcohol binge which so fogged his mind that even today he cannot remember working on many of the books he wrote during that period." [Daily Mail]
• Ryan O'Neal says Farrah Fawcett has "lost her famous hair" from battling cancer. [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal also says: "It's a love story. I just don't know how to play this one. I won't know this world without her." [People]
• Trent Reznor is pissed at Apple, because a Nine Inch Nails iPhone app was rejected for having 'objectionable content." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Stanley Tucci's wife, Kate. [Page Six]
• Olympic silver medalist Sasha Cohen is returning to competitive figure skating. Will we see her in Vancouver for the winter Olympics? [AP]
• Stephanie Tanner Jodie Sweetin is being sued for not paying her Home Owner's Association fees. How rude! [Perez]
• James McAvoy, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney and Anna Friel will star in The Details, a flick about a a couple who discover an infestation of raccoons in their back yard. [Variety]
• Rare Marilyn Monroe photographs for sale — on eBay. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which film director could give Robert Pattinson a run for his money in the odor department? The big-time movie man smelled so badly during a recent shoot that even his actors couldn't stand to be around him!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Would I run for public office? A delegation of Democrats from Ohio asked me if I wanted to run for a Senate seat in 2004, and I said it was a tempting offer, but no. We already had an old actor in national politics, and it didn't work out so well. He shall remain nameless." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "The rumours aren't true. We aren't moving. So many people come up to me and say 'I hear you're moving.' We love America. We've been very happy here." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I've never changed my name officially. I never have and I never will. In my heart, I am still Ramon. I love the name. I would never give it up." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "I'd like to see Benson and Stabler get together...but I can't let that happen. Mariska [Hargitay] and I have been a wonderful, solid married couple now for 10 years-we see each other more than our families. It's just nice to get a different dynamic in there every once in a while." — Chris Meloni. [E!]
• "I'm looking for an encyclopaedia and a dictionary. A bit of the Boy Scouts Handbook. A person who is conscientious about the trail he leaves behind him. I'm attracted to intelligence and creativity and passion — and not necessarily the romantic kind. I want to learn from someone who is greedy for information and light and laughter and the whole world." — Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [Mirror via Glamour]
• "We know the people whose lives are on the line-those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender-will be there. But we need everyone there. Especially straight people." — Charlize Theron, who is encouraging Californians to attend a Meet In The Middle For Equality rally in Fresno. [E!]
• "I'm a big fan of Tyra's! She is sexy. I mean, I don't really get obsessed with anyone, but Tyra is definitely hot." — Idris Elba. [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60 . This is the law of diminishing returns. The trick is to age honestly and gracefully and make it look great so that everyone looks forward to it." — Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]

The Good:
Jenna Fisher looks uncommonly at ease in this elegant little number.


Jane Fleming, President of Women in Film, channels fail-safe, "slightly dowdy elegance" (as Barbara Pym described Ianthe Broome's church bazaar outfit) in an LBD.


Truth to power? Not digging on Jeanne Tripplehorn's severe 'do, even if I get how it balances the soft, voluminous dress. And love the shoes.


Elizabeth Banks rocks total bombshell glam!


As if that wasn't good enough, check out this clutch!


What Say You?
While I adore Diablo Cody's gamine crop, how we feelin' about her jersey frock?


Riddle me this: in combo with the long pants, is Kylie Sanchez's Flashdance shoulder simply too slouchy? Or does she work it?


What is it about the proportion of Busy Phillips' two-tone that's troubling? She looks cute, as usual, but there's some optical dissonance here! I want more bodice.

[Images via Getty]

• Beyoncé on her fake "screeching" recording:

"I haven't heard it but it sounds completely ridiculous." Her dad/manager Matthew Knowles adds: "At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." Okay okay we get it. [MTV]

• Lindsay Lohan is in Australia's Cleo magazine. She's asked: "As you're constantly in the public eye, how hard is it for you to forge successful, long lasting relationships?" She answers: "I don't think it's so hard. What I've learnt most is to keep my private life private." O RLY? Also, when asked about her "perfect evening," she says: "Staying in and watching a movie!" [ONTD]
• Lindsay talked to Ellen about her split with Sam: "When you don't know you're breaking up… Really weird." LL says the break came out of nowhere. "I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn't seen her in, like, a week. She, like, disappeared." Also, is this underminey? "I think it's been really good for me. I thought it would be so much harder and it hasn't been. My sister's been here with me." [People]
• "Lindsay Lohan is shockingly skinny again." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Moss maybe cheated on Jamie Hince with Eve Berlin from The Living Things. In Berlin. The rocker's brother says he walked in on Kate and Eve (born Yves) with his clothes off. [The Sun]
• Josh Hartnett's 911 call is on TMZ for some reason, and you can hear Josh say the words "food poisoning" and "diarrhea." [TMZ]
• What the goop: Gwyneth Paltrow gave Mario Batali free membership to that superduper exclusive gym she and Tracy Anderson opened. An insider says: "Mario is the only fat friend she has, and she wants him to change." [Page Six]
• This was in Midweek Madness yesterday but here it is again: Nadya Suleman's stripper name was Angelina. [MSNBC]
• Oh Christ: Miss California will appear at the Gospel Music Awards. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Dolly Parton had lunch in Manhattan and a blogger witness it. Dolly had an "expertly made-up ageless face, Barbie doll suit (paired with sheer black leggings), that famous platinum mane, and shoes that no other human being could possibly walk in." [mediabistro.com]
• Cyndi Lauper wants Susan Boyle to be in a film starring Cyndi and Tippi Hedren. "I think she's a kick. I really like her," sez Lauper. The movie is about "baby boomers who put their lives on hold to chase their dreams." [Reuters]
• By the way, when Susan Boyle said she'd never been kissed, that was a joke, people/ She says: "Never been kissed? I've never stopped." [Music Toob]
• Audrina is going to Spencer and Heidi's wedding this weekend. "They're two peas in a pod … I can't see either of them with anyone else." Is that a compliment? [People]
• Uh-oh! Jennie Garth found out that her husband Peter Facinelli cooked a pasta dinner for the cast of the Twilight sequel New Moon and she is not happy: "I am pissed off, because he doesn't make me pasta dinners. I don't know when was the last time the man cooked for me!" [E!]
• Rihanna and Katy Perry are boating & beaching together in Barbados. It looks so fun. I want to go to there! [NY Post]
• Speaking of New Moon, you guys can have that lame ass sparkly vampire, I'll take the shirtless hot hotties of the wolf pack. Have you seen this new picture? Soooo down with brown. And only one of them is technically underage! What's that? Their abs are Photoshopped? Lalalala I can't hear you. [People]
• NBC is considering running fewer episodes of Heroes next year, which will supposedly interrupt the storyline less. And you know, cut costs. [AdAge]
• Someone stole thousands of dollars of jewelry from Hayden Panettiere's L.A. home last week. [TMZ]
• Kanye West was "polite and gracious" when he showed up — by himself — at the Tribeca Film Festival's kickoff dinner. DON'T GET ALL NORMAL ON US, YEEZY!!!!!!1!!! [Gatecrasher]
• When filming ends on the last Harry Potter movie, Emma Watson says: "I will be . . . uncontrollable. It's been half of our lives. It's made us, it's formed us. It's such a big part of my life, so it will be really sad –and so much of the crew who have been there since the beginning are like my family." [Telegraph]
• Gillian Anderson may appear on Doctor Who. [Daily Express]
• Bruce Springsteen's wife wasn't at his concert on Tuesday night OMGAFFAIROMG. [Star]
• Alan Cumming supports New York Governor David Paterson's gay-marriage bill. "He's not doing it for political reasons. Like, when did gay marriage become something that could make you popular, for fuck's sake? That's just, like, being a little nippy, people being bitches." As for Rudy Giuliani? Cumming says: "I think he's an asshole. Please quote me on that." [NY Mag]
• Um, Elizabeth Banks will star and produce a comedy called Forever 21. Is it about disposable bar-crawling clothes? [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Since Matthew McConaughey is in a flick called Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, he is forced to answer questions about past girlfriends. [E!]
• This just in: "Natalie Portman and Chief Executive Officer Christine Aylward launched MakingOf.com, a behind-the-scenes Web portal that provides an intimate, fresh look into the process of creating entertainment by the insiders themselves." [PR Newswire]
• Hot hottie Channing Tatum, of the critically acclaimed film Step Up, says of his new flick, Fighting: "I'm not a tough guy. I'm probably not even a good fighter." It's called ACTING, people, jeez. [USA Today]
• Anna Nicole Smith cannot rest in peace because there's always some kind of dramz in her family; this time it's her half-sister suing the publisher of her book Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith, because she claims she hasn't been paid. [TMZ]
• Want to see a foxy picture of Christian Bale, from Empire magazine? Click click click! [ONTD]
• Prison Break's Lane Garrison has reached a financial settlement with the parents of the 17-year-old he killed in a drunk driving accident back in 2006. [TMZ]
• Mary-Louise Parker is not leaving Weeds. Had you heard that she was? [E!]
• Cameron Diaz is in talks to star in a "legal comedy" called Bobbie Sue, about a "hard-charging female ambulance chaser whose mindset makes her the ideal candidate to be the face of a prestigious law firm when a powerful client is sued in a sexual discrimination case." [Variety]
• Paul Giamatti will star in an indie drama called Barney's Version, in which he plays a man who has "led a reckless life highlighted by three marriages, two children and being a 'person of interest' in the mysterious disappearance of his bosom buddy. [Variety]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jewel is trying for a baby. [Gatecrasher]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Hudson is indeed pregnant. [NY Daily News, Page Six]
• Divorce lawyers are telling Oksana Pochepa (the chick who claims she's having a fling with Mel Gibson) to shut her trap. [The Sun]
• John Travolta is in Argentina shopping for land, what are you doing? [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Oh wait: This report says John Travolta is alone in Tahiti. [People]
• After five years and 241 shows at Caesars Palace, Elton John played his last show last night. Will he come back? [AP]
• Why is there a picture of Mariah Carey's husband and Spongebob Squarepants at the top of the Empire State Building? Is this real life? Is it going to be like this forever? [Gatecrasher]
• Here is old footage of Tony Danza being a whiny baby because he has to be on a local news program. [Videogum]
• Fred Durst is engaged and is the happiest man alive, should you care. [People]
• When Lou Reed is on tour, he would like to eat organic lamb, guava melon, or "LOCAL ORGANIC White Fish." [The Smoking Gun]
• Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, with Regis Philbin, will be revived this summer on ABC. [AP]
• Rob Lowe will be in TV movie on Lifetime, set your DVR. [UPI]
• Blind item: "Which hunky A-lister checks himself into swanky hotels under the alias 'King Kong'?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was so incensed, so passionate about having a Democrat in the White House, I was insane. I was just crazed. I trust this administration. I trust Barack Obama and his intelligence and have faith that he'll do the right thing. So I've been able to relax the last few months." — Barbra Streisand. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "This issue is important to me. I didn't know too much about it before becoming a parent but whooping cough is on the rise. There have been a significant increase in reported cases over the past decade. Parents don't realize that they can get pertussis and transmit the disease to their babies." — Jennifer Lopez, the spokesperson for Sounds Of Pertussis. [UPI]
• "I had kind of a binge eating disorder where instead of dealing with my emotions, I would stuff them down with food. I actually went into a treatment center for it. It was definitely that excess eating to kind of just stuff all the emotions down ... I really was a creative kid who didn't know she was creative and didn't have those outlets because I was always afraid to join the theater group and not perform. The moment I started doing music, the moment I did what I loved to do in my life and committed to it, I don't have those problems anymore ... I have my outlet. I have that form of expression. I can go to the studio and talk about my feelings." — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [People]
• "The most dynamic and sophisticated comedy to hit television in the last 10 years, if you like, and here it is, they're calling me. It's a great, great feeling. And as quickly as it came, I was on the set. It really felt like an out-of-body experience. 'I watch this show; what am I doing here? What is Steve Carell doing, improvising and trying to make me laugh?' They all do that. John [Krasinski] especially. He said to me the other day, 'My character hates your character so much, it makes me want to hate you in real life. Is that OK?' They're great guys, I love working on that show." — Idris Elba on his stint on The Office. [LA Times]
• "I wouldn't want to change myself too much because that would really make things a bit false. I want to receive people as the real me, a real person." — Susan Boyle. [NY Daily News]
• "You just leave them with enough food and water to survive. No, first of all, you have an amazing wife, and she gets it and handles all the craziness. And you just try to make the time you got really cool. When you're there, you're totally present, and you just bounce back and forth. At least I'm not in the military with people shooting at me. I have friends who are in Iraq. At least when we're gone, I'm in a hotel room. Maybe, I may lose my life to this really bad room service. That's the threat."— Taylor Hanson on how he handles going on tour and leaving four kids at home. [People]
• "It's none of my business, but you know what I say about that? I understand the situation. I understand passion with young kids. My personal opinion about that is, he's just a baby. He's just a little baby that don't know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, 'I know how to handle my emotions'; we all think we do. But the fact [is], you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don't know how to handle those feelings." — Mike Tyson on Chris Brown. [MTV]
• "I just put his foot in my mouth. There was no sucking. It was a spontaneous moment, too — it wasn't in the script. I just went for it. I still don't even know how Zac felt about me cramming his foot into my mouth. It's not like we're e-mail buddies." — Saturday Night Live's Jason Sudeikis, on his skit with Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]

• Katy Perry has design aspirations. "Agyness Deyn and Dita Von Teese are my fashion icons. I love to create a character, and I like looking like I've just stepped out of a history book." [New York]

• L'Oreal has signed Zach and Miri star Elizabeth Banks! About time she got a lead! [WWD]
• Speaking of L'Oreal... aging heiress Liliane Bettencourt denies that she's ill, being duped by a gigolo. [FT]
• And: Oy. L'Oreal lays off 500 in U.S. [AdAge]
• Liar! Despite claims to the contrary, Paris Hilton has been spotted wearing the same dress twice! [E]
• Is acclaimed designer Olivier Theyskens out at Nina Ricci? People are tossing around "creative differences," which it totally the "irreconcilable differences" of the work world. [FashionWeekDaily]
• Will Tommy Hilfiger be the only designer actually showing at the Bryant Park tents? [WWD]
• We kind of don't want to contribute to this latest Levi's ad going viral. [Videogum]
• Fun, PETA-style: throw virtual snowballs at celebrity "fur hags." [AdRants]
• Stores aren't even bothering to deck the halls of their sad beauty aisles this Christmas. [WWD]
• Fashion darlings Rodarte have discovered the secret to living left-coast: "This is the secret to L.A.; you listen to music from Peanuts. We realized it last night, driving — it was late, and the Peanuts theme was playing, and it’s like the whole city was transformed." [Style.com]
• Carine Roitfeld and Kanye West are BFF. [Style.com]
• The founder of Aussie label JustJeans was caught with his hand in the till...or the white-collar, $100 million equivalent thereof. [News.com.au]
• Speaking of crime, the fashion industry took a hit in the Madoff scandal. [WWD]
• Along with other less-than-hip brands, Laura Ashley's feeling the economic pinch. [Guardian]
• J. Crew's bridesmaid's dresses are becoming an industry standard. See, J, when you price things reasonably they sell! [W]
• Accessories brand Lambertson Truex is on the block, if you're looking for a sideline. [WWD]

Time:

In Zack and Miri, Smith flounders for a while in situations and gags that are frankly sub-Smithian. It's as if Apatow has swiped his mojo and Smith can't get it back.

Salon:

And maybe that points to the chief problem with "Zack and Miri": The jokes are forced, almost mechanical, in their crudeness. They're so carefully placed that they feel a little precious rather than spontaneous, which ends up defying that impulsive, animal thing inside us, whatever it is, that gets us to respond to crude humor in the first place. That's not a problem specific to "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." More and more comedies are offering crude humor as an end in itself, instead of a means to an end. You can almost imagine the writers of these movies, in the midst of struggling to make a line work, just tossing in some graphic or scatological detail as a stopgap.

I don't think that's Smith's way of working, but as I watched "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," I found potty-mouth fatigue setting in pretty quickly.

The Los Angeles Times:

Smith will, unfortunately, be going to hell for the inclusion of one outlandishly grotesque sight gag, one the movie (any movie) would've been better off without. Then again, the filmmaker's entire career has mined the fun, the possibilities and the risks of going too far.

His is an arrested-adolescent sensibility, like that of many who have come along in his wake, notably Judd Apatow and his various guy-centric associates. But Smith can write and, despite his subject and the free-floating, genial skeeziness, "Zack and Miri" has a bright, chipper look to it, thanks to cinematographer Dave Klein, a frequent Smith colleague. Wintertime in Pittsburgh never looked so good.

USA Today:

Zack and Miri leaves us wondering whether it's supposed to be mostly a touching love story or a crude comic romp. Certainly there's room for sweetness amid bawdy humor, but the fusion should be somewhat original, or at least believable. In trying to meld the two, it doesn't succeed at either. It may be too sickly-sweet for audiences drawn to the idea of a ribald comedy and too explicit and foul-mouthed for those who prefer their love stories to be romantic.

Wired:

Zack and Miri is not a beautiful movie, smeared as it is with outdoor shots of icy streets and slush-covered suburbs.

But it is fun movie to watch (brace yourself for the gross-out money shot that had audience members giggling uncontrollably). More substantial than Smith's previous efforts, Zack and Miri sticks to a breezy pace, when things turn from goofy sleaze to slightly standard romance. Wisely, Smith keeps the heartwarming part short and sweet.

Washington Post:

And, even though they've seen this formulaic, crude comedy before, they'll still probably sit through it, just as millions of filmgoers will this weekend. Why? Because, as tasteless as it often is, it's still funny. Which is the only test that matters.

The New York Times:

So “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” in spite of its sometimes tiresome, sometimes amusing lewdness, follows a gee-whiz romantic-comedy formula that would not be out of place on the Disney Channel. Two best friends who have always been in love with each other discover that ... they have always been in love with each other. Granted, this revelation occurs while they are having sex in front of a camera, but it is so sweet and predictable that these potentially tawdry circumstances hardly matter.

Slate:

The movie's central joke—that loving, intimate sex, of the kind Zack and Miri will eventually have on camera, makes for lousy pornography—is both clever and affecting. And the scene in which the two friends finally get it on is one of the few aesthetically successful moments, as Smith uses two different soundtracks to contrast the lovers' ecstasy with their onlookers' boredom. But Zack and Miri keeps throwing away the opportunity to be more than a string of undifferentiated puerile gags. The moment these characters start discussing feelings, their dialogue turns stiff: Would anyone from Zack and Miri's uninhibited Generation Y circle be caught dead using the boomer euphemism "making love"?

Entertainment Weekly:

The simplistic message, however, is one any church pastor might give: Sex isn’t sexy without love, commitment, and fidelity. The established auteur who made Clerks (un and deux), Mallrats, and Chasing Amy may now be a 38-year-old husband and father who heads a successful production company, but he's still got cheap advice for schlumpy twentysomething guys like Zack. (Zack's notion of getting lucky at the reunion, FYI, is receiving a quicky handjob from a bitter, married classmate who's enraged because her husband is flirting across the crowded room.) The advice: Find someone as luscious and, amazingly, available as Banks' Miri, and the electricity will magically switch on by itself. Well, duh. Of course Zack and Miri are meant for each other — why else cast that huggable Fozzie Bear Rogen or the delectable Banks, who, let's face it, looks like the Girl Least Likely to End Up a Loser? When Zack and Miri do finally get it on — an intimate scene that even bad cinematography can’t ruin — their lovemaking, though strategically covered up, is the one naked moment of emotion (and yes, eroticism) in this otherwise coarse movie's whole tired, simulated premise. And still, Smith throws in a limp third act before the dunderheads can admit their obvious lurrrve.

The A.V. Club:

A lot about Kevin Smith has rubbed people the wrong way over the years, from his self-aggrandizing efforts to build his "View Askewniverse" to his vision of a world where regardless of gender, race, religion, or social status, everyone's adept at raunchy sex talk. Mainly, Smith's greatest sin has been writing and directing a series of indifferently shot, choppily edited comedies in which all the dialogue—funny though it often is—sounds like one long monologue split between an assortment of flat, cartoony characters. Nevertheless, Smith is clearly a bright guy with a good sense of humor—even about his own failings—so it's nice to be able to break from the ritual of Smith-bashing for a change and say that his latest movie, Zack And Miri Make A Porno, is honestly enjoyable.

Rolling Stone:

If there is such a thing as a stroke flick for your funnybone, then Zack and Miri is it. Writer-director Kevin Smith is back on comedy terra firma, after Jersey Girl drowned in goo and Clerks II defined backsliding. For those who wonder what happened to the Smith of the first Clerks and Chasing Amy, here's your answer.

Chicago Sun-Times:

And of course, awwww, Zack and Miri admit they've been in love along, and achieve something you never see in a porn film, lovemaking with barely visible sex and very genuine romance. Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks make a lovable couple; she's pretty and goes one-for-one on the bleep language, and Rogen, how can I say this, is growing on me, the big lug.

Premiere:

But pornos are like sausages — if you want to keep enjoying them, you don't really want to see them put together. If you're a scrappy and somewhat clueless outsider, the harsh realities of the jizz biz will fwap you in the face pretty quickly — and we're not just talking about the romantic confusion of screwing your best friend for money on camera. So in the spirit of porno, sausages, and ruining your lunch, I couldn't resist the urge to dissect some pieces of Zack and Miri's Fantasy Porno World.

Ain't It Cool News:

It seems a bit played out to talk about how Smith seems to borrowing from the Apatow way of doing and casting films, since Apatow probably borrowed a thing or three from Smith's brand of humor and way of generating material. If anything, ZACK AND MIRI is a tribute to how much these actors appreciate the ground that Smith broke as a writer and maker of low-budget comedies, and I hope Smith continues making films this complete and deep feeling. In truth, only Kevin Smith could have made the most romantic film of his career and still fill it with some of the foulest and most over-sexed language and situations in movie history. It's actually the perfect blend of every tool that Smith has in his arsenal, used to tell a sweet love story set in the world of amateur porn. I think I'm in heaven.

'Zack And Miri Make A Porno' opens today in wide release.

[NYM, Just Jared, TMZ]

The Good:
I make no apologies for my slavish devotion to Gabrielle Union.
Elizabeth Banks' lovely coral jewelry and classic clutch are exempt from the "Bad" of her gown.
I'm a sucker for a LBD. Actress Jane Bradbury's is not my favorite iteration, but points for, paradoxically, having the guts to wear something unadorned.

The Bad:
I first became aware of Kat Kramer at the TVLand Awards and have since come to recognize her as something of a red-carpet fixture. And no, I am not particularly proud to reveal that I've visited the purported songwriter and actress's MySpace page.
Elizabeth Banks: pretty lady, unfortunate frock.
Once several years ago during the August sales I tried on a stretchy satin blouse with a Johnny collar, I believe at Zara. The moment I saw myself in the mirror I recognized the full ramifications of what I had done. For her sake, I hope Claudia Jordan soon has a similar moment of clarity.
A friend of mine who recently moved to L.A. tells me she's having trouble meeting a guy there. Can't imagine why!

The Ugly:
There is something horrifyingly awesome about the Stevie-Nicks-meets-Elvira audacity of actress Jo Champa's gown.

[Images via Getty]

The Good:

Felicity Huffman keeps it simple and showcases toned shoulders.

Gabrielle Union's little summer dress is pretty cute. She should take her hands out of her pockets, though.

Love the color and drape of Joy Bryant's dress. Beachy keen!

Love the color of Becki Newton's dress, too! Just one piece can look so chic.

Sanaa Lathan, golden girl. She looks so great in this dress I'm willing to forgive the borderline shoes.

Rachel Bilson's jacket and skirt seem sophisticated, but I'm torn on the shoes. They're sort of cool and new and different and they're sort of horrifying. I like the rest so much I'm erring on the side of Good.

The Bad:

Maria Cross: Meh. The shoes are too heavy, in my opinion. A thin-strap sandal for a more bare look might be better.

Yeah, I don't know, Mena Suvari. Part of me likes the Pat Benatar thing she's got going, the other part of me winces, because how long can we do '80s?

Amy Smart is a lovely lady, but this dress is bad. The neckline is bad, the belt is bad and I think the fabric is bad.

Is Elizabeth Banks wearing a wardrobe castoff from Sophia Coppola's Virgin Suicides?

Zoe Saldana's hemline is a gynecologist's dream.

Nicky Hiton looks awkward, like an overgrown baby doll.

I think Lost alum Maggie Grace looks pretty but the satin shorts are killing me. They're super cute if you're playing the role of Miss Adelaide is Guys And Dolls, but otherwise, no.

I like Kelly Rutherford's blouse. I like Kelly Rutherford's skirt. I love Kelly Rutherford's shoes. I do not like them all together. Maybe if the blouse wasn't quite so buttoned up and the skirt were longer? I don't know.

The Ugly:

Sophia Bush is gorgeous; this weird zippered apron dress and chunky brown shoes are not.

Oh, Whitney Port. So many trends, so little time.

[Images via FilmMagic.]