The thing about models is that they are rarely the subjects of long, investigative, detailed magazine profiles, leavened with biographical information about their parents' backgrounds and whatever psychological tells the writer can seize upon during his or her reporting. Models are mostly seen in pictures. They're there to entertain our projections, and that's easiest done mute. It's celebrities who are endlessly, redundantly storied, profiled over and over again until such mundanities as what Leighton likes to eat for lunch and the fact that Angelina has a pilot's license have been entirely too thoroughly plumbed for metaphoric depth. The glimpse-of-fame profile is an essential part of the celebrity-sartorial complex, but the problems with it are manifold. As the celebrity profiles proliferate, the pool of unreported information that might actually be interesting or affecting to a wide audience shrinks. The pool of under-covered celebrities — who are (of course) pretty and (nearly always) white and (duh) thin enough to fit sample sizes in the standard lavish photo shoot — dwindles, too, until we're stuck reading about the Deep Thoughts of reality TV stars and teenagers ad nauseam. And as women's magazines' reliance on Big Cover Stars to anchor their issues grows, the conditions imposed by the army of protective flacks — writer approval, preset no-go topics, limitations on access — become more byzantine. (Hence why Elle spiked even this pretty tame profile of Jennifer Lopez at the request of her reps. Hence why you'll never read about the night Charlize Theron's mom shot and killed her dad while 15-year-old Charlize watched in a women's magazine. You will instead be told that she's really pretty, and much too polite to be thought of as having opinions, or as Vogue puts it, "far be it from her to ruin a perfectly nice luncheon trying to prove that she's a serious person.") Models get talked about as images but don't tend to get covered as people. Celebrities talk all too much, but far be it from them to say anything interesting.

So into this morass of diminishing returns steps Lara Stone, and it is just so weird to read a story that starts off in the standard mawkish key of celebrity profile writing — obligatory meaningless quote from Mario Testino; repetitive physical description along the lines of "naked Venus...austere, Flemish face...Her breasts are so perfect even I found it hard not to stare at them"; entirely too much attention paid to what she is wearing — before switching codes entirely.

What's the longest she has stayed in one place in the past two years, asks Vogue's Vassi Chamberlain, after Stone confesses she has spent seven days at a stretch, max, in her London apartment since moving to the city six months ago.

She answers without hesitating: "Four weeks." Was that on holiday? "No. That was to rehab." ... "I am a complete alcoholic," she says. "It used to be so easy to tell someone, 'Get me a bottle of vodka,' and they'd run and get it."

Okay then! Consider our expectations raised.

In the story — which you cannot read at British Vogue's website, but which people have taken the time to scan here and here — Stone goes on to make various statements which aren't "bold" or "interesting," with all the self-consciousness those imply, so much as they are just affectingly real. She doesn't sound like she's talking from a well-rehearsed script when pressed about controversial industry practices, as can the otherwise clever Lily Cole. Cole recently claimed in the Times of London, "I saw eating problems more at my school than in that industry. I do get that there is an aesthetic — it changes generation by generation. There's always been an ideal, from the Fifties or the Eighties," which is an ingenious dodge of the size-zero question and a very disingenuous thing to say. Stone, who despite her 34"-24"-35" measurements is sometimes considered one of the larger straight-size models, calls herself "fat" and says, "If I could have the discipline to be super-skinny, I would be. I think of dieting, then I eat pizza. I'm a woman, and every woman wants to be skinnier. Unfortunately." Cole, testy: "I think drugs are taken all over the world. And I've never really experienced it." Stone, realistic: "I never really wanted to be that model on drugs, the sort who gives head for a line of coke."

Stone isn't interested in running interference for an industry that treated her with standard disinterest for the better part of a decade before she, at the improbable age of 23, started to enjoy breakout success. As a teenager in Paris, she lived in an Elite model apartment with up to seven other girls. She was not a sensation. "We did 15 castings a day, visiting the same people over and over again. They'd make bitchy comments about us in French, thinking we didn't understand." (Sounds...familiar.) Stone also worked in Japan, where her agency measured her weekly, instructed her never to smile, and contracted her to do up to three shoots a day. Models who got pimples were sent back. Not that Stone is dewy-eyed about model solidarity: she pushed a girl who wouldn't get out of her way at the Jaeger show this season. "I kept saying, 'Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,' because I had to get to the catwalk, but she just kept posing. So I pushed her. It was only a few stairs." It's not easy to imagine Kate Bosworth confessing to something so human.

"Men don't like me," reports Stone. For all her much-vaunted "curves", she says, "I haven't been on a date in six months." She last dated an investment banker in New York; the end of the relationship coincided with her stint in rehab and her move to London. "I've just started a club with a girlfriend," she reports, "called the We Hate Men But We Can't Be Gay Club."

I Hate Women's Magazine Profiles But Can't Stop Reading Them.

Ones like this are pretty all right, though.

British Vogue [Official Site]
Stone Age [The Fashion Spot]
Charlize Theron At Home On The Range [Vogue]
Time Out: Lily Cole [Times of London]
Behind The Glow [Daily Beast]

Earlier:French Vogue All Lara Stone, All The Time
The 5 Great Lies of Women's Magazines

• Lagerfeld talks recession: “This... crisis is like a big spring housecleaning — both moral and physical... Bling is over. Red carpetry covered with rhinestones is out. I call it ‘the new modesty.’” [NY Times]

• As part of Barbie's golden anniversary blitz, Stila's offering a Barbie makeup palette so you can (literally) replicate her natural look at home. "The collaboration features a talking palette (so you can follow along as a Stila makeup artist gives you step-by-step instructions on mimicking Barbie’s pastel lids) as well as four “Decades of Beauty” cans. The cans each channel a different decade in Barbie history: #1 Ponytail Doll is all about Barbie’s black cat-eye liner and red lipstick, Malibu Doll mixes a baby blue shadow with a shimmering bronzer, Foxy Doll gets you a more sultry look, and Jewel Doll is, well, all about sparkle and shimmer." [Nylon]
• Flamboyant designer Roberto Cavalli is selling a minority stake in his fashion house to private equity company Clessidra. Hard times. [NYT]
• Valentino, meanwhile, is being accused of massive tax fraud! [WWD]
• Diane Von Furstenberg on her (presumably) mariage blanc to gay tycoon Barry Diller: "Barry respects me so much...We don't live together during the week, although we go out together. I live on top of my shop; he lives at the Carlyle hotel. It doesn't feel strange at all. I just need a little bit of space. If I can't be alone a little bit, then I lose myself—and I cannot lose myself." [Racked]
• Agent Provocateur's new "Virgins" line is being touted by "nymphs and satyrs cavorting in approved Dionysian style." The lingerie is pretty. [Luxist]
• Party-pooper Marc Jacobs conscientiously cancels his fashion week afterparty. [Fashionista]
• Elite modeling agency says its recent cuts weren't about belt-tightening: "Periodically every model agency reviews its roster and evaluates the performance and re-evaluates the potential of each model. Last fall, Elite conducted such a review and decided it was mutually beneficial to release several contracts." [New York]
• Goody's Family Fashion formally files for Chapter 11, following last week's announcement of their bankruptcy. [Breitbart]
• Meanwhile, struggling Liz Claiborne warns retailers of 4th quarter losses. [WSJ]
• On the other end of the spectrum, Tiffany fell a full 30% this year. [FT]
• The (possibly mythological) New York Topshop wanted to sell liquor; was prevented by puritanical old Americans. [Racked]
• American Eagle, for its part, is now successfully vending deodorant. [Nylon]
• Uh oh. Nina Ricci sues tween "Twilight" fragrance for ripping off her bottle. [Now Smell This via New York]
• Sonia Rykiel's anniversary book looks awesome...if you like fashion coffee-table books. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Carine Roitfeld's son, Vladimir, is curating some photography show during Fashion Week. [Fashionista]
• Tim Gunn's soft-spoken anti-fur documentary convinces Donna Karan to abandon the pelts. Score one for the silver fox! And, we guess, foxes generally. [Racked]
• Iconic 60's model Jean Shrimpton bites the hand that photographed her: “I gave up modelling at 28 because I’d grown away from it. I’m lazy with clothes. It’s boring pouting at a camera after the age of about 25 and if you’ve got a brain and everybody around you is more creative, you’re just the person pouting at the camera. You end up feeling a fool.” [Daily Express]
• Banana Republic launches a "heritage for women" collection, which sounds kind of like their regular collection. [WWD]
• Louis Vuitton customers are equally divided amongst the sexes. Not, we're assuming, the tax brackets. [BigThink]

• Designers like Donna Karan, Elie Tahari and Thakoon are fighting to get to Michelle Obama. [WWD]
• Even though her Narciso Rodriguez dress drew mixed reviews. [NY Times]
• According to polls, 65% considered it a "Don't." [USA Today]
• Proenza Schouler’s Jack McCollough on the election. “A shout-out to the gays? I mean, never, ever, ever in an election or an acceptance speech has a President-elect said something like that. To hear that, for me personally, is so fantastic. Barack Obama is exceptional. Exceptional!” [Style.com]
• Exceptional enough to inspire a "Yes. We. Did." thong. [Babble]

• Speaking of Michelle, her favored label Thakoon's about to hit Target! Take a gander. [Nylon]
• Doesn't it seem weird that Ed Westwick should choose K Swiss as his first campaign? Or are we thinking of his character? [E!]
• Ooh, those snarky British writers do not like Peaches! "Fresh from a disastrous foray into column-writing, Peaches Geldof has decided to tuck her be-fringed head back into her shell and stick to what she knows best. Apparently, that is designing clothes. Her capsule collection for cult fashion collective PPQ is due to hit the shelves in Selfridges today." [Guardian]
• Apparently Vogue editor-at-XXL Andre Leon Talley was in the VIP section at Grant Park; rumor has it his mag has his eye on a Michelle cover. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Alexander Wang on the recession: "There’s a certain amount of fantasy to fashion, but you also have to think about the fit, the sell-through, the accessibility. There’s no point in creating clothes so out-there, so special that no one can wear them. I try to stay in touch with the customer. We’ve been lucky—our sales are growing. I think we were also pretty lucky to get out a T-shirt line. It’s nice to have a $65 product. But it’s also nice to have a $1,200 dress, say, for that person at Colette. The key now is that dress has to be worth what it costs." [Style.com]
• Online retailers expect a lot of holiday shopping...maybe because it doesn't feel like real spending? [WSJ]
• The recession takes a heavy toll on India's textile industry. [BW]
• Meanwhile, Britain prepares for a steep rise in clothing prices. [Guardian]
• Good news, at least, for Adidas! [WSJ]
• Lilly Pulitzer never ages...maybe because it's permanently middle-aged? [NY Times]
• Elite moddle management gets some escort service to stop using their name. We're sure Tyra's relieved. [NY Daily News]
• H&M TV? It'd better be an improvement on their soundtrack! [Fabsugar]
• Patagonia's ambitious plan to sell only recycled materials by 2010 proves harder than they anticipated. [Business Week]
• Meanwhile, a Japanese company attempts banana fiber denim. [WWD]<<br /> li>"Syunsoku" sneakers make people faster...or not. Either way, they're big in Japan! [Reuters]
• Speaking of shoes, Zappo's stellar customer service keeps the company healthy. [NY Times]
• "Lagerfeld goes through at least 365 bottles of Shu Uemura’s Pleasure of Japanese Bath oil per year. 'Normally, you’re supposed to put one cup in the bathtub,' he says, sitting in the leafy garden of Galerie Emmanuel Perrotin in Paris. “' put the whole bottle in every morning. It is the most divine product.' His beauty ritual doesn’t stop there: Lagerfeld spritzes a scent on various items of his clothing, not to mention his bedding. 'What I put on my sheets is always different from what I wear on myself. It’s like if I sleep with a person who uses another perfume.'” [W]
• Juicy Couture store opens in Manhattan, which for some reason means "the Harlem Boys' choir, American Ballet Theatre dancers, Juilliard school violinists, and stilt-walkers will entertain the likes of Gina Gershon, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Gretchen Mol, Molly Sims and Sarah Silverman, plus Saturday Night Live stars Seth Myers and Fred (Obama) Armisen." [New York Post]
• This fashion origami kit is totally the kind of thing we'd never actually assemble, but it's very cute. [Fashionista]
• Colin Firth on his director, Tom Ford: "If he turns his hand to this with the brilliance that he's turned his hand to everything else that he's ever done in his life, it'll be a masterpiece." [VogueUK]
• Ooh! Legendary fashion lecturer Rosamond Bernier is selling off some of her vintage couture! Well, it's fun to look. [Sassybella]